You Never Truly Say Goodbye

Multiship, multiverse OC. Alexander, previous blog is goodbyeconformity.

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

I made a new account because I wanted to start over and be better this time around but I feel like I’m fucking everything up all over again, even worse this time because it’s me fucking up personal shit, and not just ic shit. 

I really wanna keep this because at the same time I log on here and I’mafraid I’ve fucked uip aain. I need constant reassurance and fake compliments to feel okay wihth myself and I just. I wanna do this and I wanna do it in a way that works but I’m such a screw up that I feel like it never wll. 

I’m sorry if I messed up friendships and I’m sorry if I’m being a bitch or being stupid or something, I don’t mean to. I really fucking don’t. It’s just been really hard because I’ve been tired a lot and work has been kicking my ass and emotionally I’ve been p much kicking the bucket to my depression, handing my life over to it and whenever that happens I ruin everything. 

I don’t expect anyone to forgive me for what I’ve done for them while I’m depressed, and I wish I could have people understandm but maybe my brother is right and I should just..be always alone. It might make things easier for everyone. No friends for me to hurt, no guilt for hurting people I care about. 

I really am sorry everyone, particularly ironic-lyrical-romantic (who I was being a dick to on skype) and ask-crabby-vantas (whom I’ve been neglecting responding to threads to) . 

I’m just really fucking stupid and I’m sorr y you all have to deal with my shit. If anyone really wants to talk to me about shit, my skype is available to you if you ask. (all I request is that it stays private and we’ve talked at least once before) 

again, I am so sorry. 

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

heading to bed. I probably won’t be on a lot this weekend because I have shit to do. Also, feeling like shit mentally right now. (at least for tonight.) I don’t know when I’ll get back to this. so, until then, everyone. :) 

[confirmance]

do you ever miss someone but never let them know because you have this feeling that they are doing just fine without you anyways? 

[autisticsouda]

If you are a mentally ill person who struggles with violent urges, impulse control, disassociation, anger control, psychosis, or other stigmatized and demonized conditions you are so fucking important and you matter and your needs matter and you deserve better

[bakushma-remade]

I’m not certain, but I’m guessing that Slytherin was the only dorm left undamaged after the battle of hogwarts seeing as it’s in a hard-to-get-to place, being under the lake and all.

can you imagine all these little first year Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors and Ravenclaws all crashing in the Slyth common room because they have no where else to go. Sure, the majority would have been evacuated before or during the battle so as not to get injured or in the way, but it’s unlikely that all would have been able to leave on such short notice.

imagine them all sitting huddled together because they’re afraid of these people who are supposed to be evil, who most of the school are apparently fighting a war against.

imagine the older Slytherins keeping their distance because they k n o w that the kids don’t trust them, but still sorting out beds for them, making sure that they’re all hydrated and fed, casting spells to make little floating candles that change colour like a nightlight for the kids who are scared of the dark. the more experienced kids casting silencing charms around the first years so that they can’t hear what is happening outside.

these tiny first year kids from different housing wondering how these people can be ‘evil’ at all.

[jily-beans]

I LOVE SHIT LIKE THIS

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

Oh man oh man oh man

The older Slytherins sitting up through the night to try and hear what’s happening outside

Slytherins taking up guard positions in the common room without quite realizing they’re doing it. Still in their pajamas, wands in their hands, looking up sharply every time they hear something explode

Slytherins hearing unforgiveable curses flying, mixed with the screams of their fellow students, realizing that the Death Eaters (family friends? their own relatives?) aren’t showing mercy to children

Slytherins knowing that any moment now they could be the only ones protecting these innocent little kids, as the sounds of battle get closer and closer

Slytherins rolling up their sleeves, gritting their teeth, throwing themselves into the battle for the sake of these poor tiny kids who didn’t ask for this shit

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

Ask-Crabby-Vantas || Abject Abodement

[ask-crabby-vantas]

After a few blocks Karkat stopped, facing towards the opposite side of the road, waiting for the single to change so that they could walk across. The plaza wasn’t too big but it was littered with small shops of all kinds and the ice cream shop was in plain sight. “Thank you. I picked it out myself. It almost feels like sweeps ago that he was just a little wriggler and now he’s growing up so fast. Damn I feel old.” 

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

Alex giggled as they walked, admiring the plaza as they arrived. She grinned as they crossed the street, her steps were bouncy as she grew excited to get ice cream. “I hear that’s what kids do to you,” she teased, “they make you feel old.” She giggled, biting her lip as they neared the ice cream shop. Now she was literally bouncing as she walked. 

[ironic-lyrical-romantic-deactiv]

✾ + ?????? ((ALSO THIS MEME BECAUSE I WANNA SEE DAVE KISS ALEX, but I'm not specifying body part, because I want to know where he would kiss her if he was all "sad" (or something) she couldn't remember him and what they went through and stuff.. uwu))

Dave didnt know why he thought it would work, he was prepared for a slap or even a sharp right hook, but maybe it would work. just maybe. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her to his chest. “Im sorry Alex but I have to try.” He told her before wrapping one arm around her waist the other still holding her wrist as be dipped her and pressed his lips to her, it was soft but firm. ((I HAD to))

[ironic-lyrical-romantic-deactiv]

He laughed softly at her and flicked his cig as the taxi pulled up. “Well Dear our ride has arrived.” The blond smirked and moved to open the door for her then scooted in after her. “Tell the driver where to the go and our adventure will begin.”

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

Alex pouted before rolling her eyes at Dave, giggling. She quickly told the driver the address as they seated themselves. Once she was in, she lounged herself across the seat, folding her arms up over her head and leaning into the seat. She listened for any music, humming along with the tune even if she got it wrong or didn’t know it. She didn’t really feel the need to talk, not unless Dave wanted to, anyway. 

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

Ask-Crabby-Vantas || Abject Abodement

[ask-crabby-vantas]

Karkat helped Alex up, cocking a brow at her wide eyed expression but not mentioning it. He walked along side his friend as they made their way down the sidewalk towards the plaza, which was a few blocks down. “Yeah, his name is Lucian. He’s my ex’s kid.”

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

Alex smiled. Lucian was a nice name. She hummed as they walked, swinging her arms precariously and looking around to make sure she knew how to get back at the park. “Oh,” she commented, before disregarding the last part as none of her business (though none of this really was), “Lucian is a lovely name!” 

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

Hey everyone, I just wanted to apologize for the leave of absence. I have really been focusing on getting my youtube channel set up. I am deciding to make a gaming channel and if you want to follow it, I will share my first video here. I hope to be a bit more active, but if I’m not, I’m working to clean my room, going to actual work, and focusing a lot on getting my youtube channel up and running. :) I hope everyone is having a great day! 

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

"Hello?"

“Hello!” Alex greeted, smiling at the stranger. “What’s your name? My name is Alexander, but you can call me Alex!” 

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

Anyone have a steam account??? I have one and I’m going to be playing games but I have absolutely no friends on my steam account. :c Also, I’m really new at it so I don’t know how it all works, but we’ll see :) 

[ironic-lyrical-romantic-deactiv]

✾ + ?????? ((ALSO THIS MEME BECAUSE I WANNA SEE DAVE KISS ALEX, but I'm not specifying body part, because I want to know where he would kiss her if he was all "sad" (or something) she couldn't remember him and what they went through and stuff.. uwu))

Dave didnt know why he thought it would work, he was prepared for a slap or even a sharp right hook, but maybe it would work. just maybe. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her to his chest. “Im sorry Alex but I have to try.” He told her before wrapping one arm around her waist the other still holding her wrist as be dipped her and pressed his lips to her, it was soft but firm. ((I HAD to))

[ironic-lyrical-romantic-deactiv]

“I would enjoy that.” Dave pulled out a smoke and lit it up with a smile. “Well I guess. But I’m never really alone. And sorry dear I can’t really tell you where. Or I would have to kill you.” He teased grinning at her before returning to his smoke.

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

Alex blinked at Dave owlishly, like she took him seriously, she gave a pouting frown and took a step back, before breaking into a grin and giggling. She motioned for a cigarette of her own as they would wait. “I’m no ‘deer’ to you,” she hummed, playfully sticking her tongue out at Dave and scrunching up her nose. 

[ask-crabby-vantas]

Hey There Little One!

“I’m not wittle!” The small mutant stomped his foot in protest before crossing his arms over his chest and pouting. God, he was so adorable.

[ask-crabby-vantas]

The wriggler’s ears twitched as the girl started to hum, finding it comforting and peaceful. He yawned again, his teeth clacking slightly as his jaws met again, before slowly falling asleep. He hadn’t been held like this in awhile so it helped put him right into sleep. 

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

Alex smiled, giggling softly at the yawn and click of Karkat’s teeth. She continued humming, the tune morphing into a common lullaby as it went. Words went through her head, but she didn’t dare sing them aloud, not when she knew her voice wasn’t very good. She cradled him softly and pleasantly as he slept in her lap, her humming to him until she became sleepy enough to stop and focus on staying upright. 

[squirreltastic]

Send me a word and a character/series/pairing and I will write a drabble:

Cheiloproclitic - Being attracted to someones lips. Quidnunc - One who always has to know what is going on. Ultracrepidarian - Of one who speaks or offers opinions on matters beyond their knowledge. Apodyopis - The act of mentally undressing someone. Gymnophoria - The sensation that someone is mentally undressing you. Tarantism - The urge to overcome melancholy by dancing. Autolatry - The worship of one’s self. Cagamosis - An unhappy marriage. Gargalesthesia - The sensation caused my tickling. Capernoited - Slightly intoxicated or tipsy. Lalochezia - The use of abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain. Cataglottism - Kissing with tongue. Basorexia - An overwhelming desire to kiss. Brontide - The low rumbling of distant thunder. Grapholagnia - The urge to stare at obscene pictures. Agelast - A person who never laughs. Wanweird - An unhappy fate. Dystopia - Am imaginary place of total misery. A metaphor for hell. Petrichor - The smell of dry rain on the ground. Anagapesis - The feeling when one no longer loves someone they once did. Malapert - Clever in manners of speech. Duende - Unusual power to attract or charm. Concilliabule - A secret meeting of people who are hatching a plot. Strikhedonia - The pleasure of being able to say “to hell with it”. Lygerastia - The condition of one who is only amorous when the lights are out.
 Ayurnamat - The philosophy that there is no point in worrying about events that cannot be changed. Sphallolalia - Flirtatious talk that leads no where. Baisemain - A kiss on the hand. Druxy - Something which looks good on the outside, but is actually rotten inside. Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move.

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

Ask-Crabby-Vantas || Abject Abodement

[ask-crabby-vantas]

The mutant nodded his head. “Yeah, there’s a really nice ice cream shop over at the plaza near here. I take my son there all the time we go shopping. He eats way too fucking much sugar for his own good, but it’s a treat.” He stood up, placing his book into his sylladex and held out a hand to help Alex get on her feet.

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

Alex blinked as she accepted Karkat’s hand, eyes owlishly wide as she tried to determine Karkat’s age in human years. How did he have a kid already? He looked no more than a kid (relative, obviously) himself. He couldn’t be much older than her. She inwardly recoiled at the thought of having a kid so young. “You ahve a son? Awesome! What’s his name?” She hummed, tiling her head to the side much like a curious child herself. 

[genuinecomplexity-blog]

Had the worst panic/anxiety/disassociation attack yet. Lasted maybe 20 minutes. It was bad. I really need to talk to my psychiatrist and therapist about that one. 

[differentmasks-deactivated20140]

Do you ever start RPing with someone and they’re just so damn good at their character and you’re, like, a drunk llama pounding the keyboard and you have to physically restrain yourself from apologizing after every reply but you’re trying to play it cool like maybe they won’t notice how bad you are and