George shoved his hands in his jacket pockets as he walked away from Aliceās house, his head hanging low as her parting words swirled through his head like one of those optical illusions that gave you a headache the longer you looked at it. His mind felt heavy, as did his heart, with the crushing guilt of breaking his best friendās heart, and tearing her world apart just as sheād begun to rebuild it. In that moment, he willed himself to be angrier with Millie than he already was, wishing that there was no part of him that still loved her and wanted to protect her, too. He couldnāt though, and he wouldnāt. Alice needed him now, and this was the least he could do for her after hiding such a massive secret from her.
His feet suddenly felt leaded as he approached Millieās house, and he could feel his hands growing colder despite remaining cocooned in his jacket pockets for his entire walk. George took a deep breath outside the door, psyching himself up just as he had done an hour before outside of Aliceās house, bracing himself for the second heartbreaking conversation heād have with a best friend today. Would he have anyone left after this? Alice had every right to never speak to him again, but then again, Millie would too, and she was bound to be even more livid with him than Alice, or at least a bit more unhinged. At that thought, he quickly knocked on the door, knowing that heād never do it if he kept thinking about the consequences.
Millie had taken a long bath after George walked her home from the park, and was feeling much calmer about her talk with the police. She wasnāt a suspect, she had no reason to be, and that is the reason why Owen Summers had been the main topic of discussion over the past week, right? She had slipped into her favorite silk pajama set and was continuing her rewatch of Gossip Girl when she heard a knock - Georgeās knock - at the door. Millie walked over to answer the door with a puzzled expression. āGeorgie? I guess youāve come to check on me then, but donāt worry, Iām feeling much better now. I-ā
āWe need to talk, Mils.ā George interrupted, pushing past Millie to walk into the house. She quickly turned to face him, pointedly shutting the door behind herself. āUm, manners, Georgie? Have you forgotten them?ā He had to force himself to not roll his eyes or groan at her hypocrisy, and instead ran both of his hands through his hair impatiently. āListen, Mils, Iāve just left Aliceās.ā Thatās apparently all he needed to say, as she grew quiet then, hesitant almost. āOh. I see. Letās go to my room.ā George followed her up the stairs, immediately pacing as he entered the room and the door was closed. āAlice knows, Millie. I-I had to tell her. Itās not fair to keep something so big from her, Matt is her brother.ā He stared at Millie, expecting her to blow up on him. Instead, she simply balanced precariously on the edge of her bed, silent. āArenāt you going to say any-ā
āEvie will find out too, then. Everyone is going to know.ā She sniffled, delicately wiping at her cheek. āI canāt act like I didnāt want that to happen, you know, before I lost himā¦ā A small sob escaped Millieās mouth and she shook her head. āTo have him proudly announce to everyone that he was in love with me and chose me over her. But not like this, not without him here to protect me.ā George could only stare at Millie in bewilderment as she broke down completely, no longer needing to will himself to be angry with her as she sat in front of him blatantly displaying how selfish she really was.
They stayed like that for a moment, Millie crying quietly and George stuck in a cyclical thought on what to say next. āAlice, she- she doesnāt want anything to do with you anymore, or me.ā He paused for a second, hesitating on the next statement. āAnd honestly, Iām not sure I do either.ā George had stopped pacing and was staring at Millie now with narrowed eyes as he spat out, āShe is our best friend, Millie. Sheās lost her brother in all of this and I just broke her heart again by telling her that you and Matt betrayed her, because you couldnāt even give her that, and all you can focus on is how hurt you are? Donāt you even care at all about her? Or anyone but yourself?ā
Millie was staring at George with wide eyes, her heart sunken deeply in her stomach at his words. āW-what?ā No, it couldnāt be right, Alice couldnāt hate her. Millie had always been dramatic, that was just who she was, and everyone always went along with it.Ā Alice had always forgiven her when theyād had arguments, or when Millie accidentally upset her, wouldnāt this be the same?Ā The look on Georgeās face said no, it wouldnāt be, and only then did it set in how selfish sheād truly been. āI-I didnāt think about it that way, Georgieā¦ I didnāt realizeā¦ā He just shook his head, groaning and turning away from her but continuing to gesture wildly with his hands. āOf course you didnāt, you never do. People wait hand and foot on you Millie, but itās over, you canāt keep treating the people who love you like this and just expect it to all be okay. Alice deserves an apology,ā He sighed, and shook his head, his voice quieter now, gentle.Ā āBut she doesnāt want to see you, she asked me to tell you not to go to hers and not to call. Thatās the least you can do for her, right? As for me, Iām done being at your beck and call, itās over Millie. I wonāt tell anyone else about Matt, but if anyone does find out, thatās up to you to deal with.āĀ
And with that, George did the one thing he never thought he would do - walk out on Millie Tan with not so much as a glance over his shoulder. He wanted to pull out his phone in that moment to text Alice, to make sure she was okay, to tell her that heād done what she wanted, but sheād asked for space and that was the least he could give her. That, and this talk with Millie.Ā
Alice played along with his one-man show, gasping with mock disbelief at the tea talking to him.Ā āGeorgie? You really have developed a fast friendship with Madame Tea.ā She rolled her eyes, playfully - something she wasnāt really used to doing anymore. Being playful. It felt like something she would never experience again, but here she was being playful and for a moment it felt like she would become normal Alice again. One day.Ā
The words George was saying should have made a difference in how she felt now, but it didnāt change anything. He didnāt know just what this all meant to her, to Matt. She continued to stare at him, shaking her head with gritted teeth and puckered lips as if something sour had hit her tongue - as if his revelation fell on her tongue instead of her ears.Ā āYou donāt know, but if you told me soonerā¦ā She sniffed hard, trying to not let her tears stop her from saying the ultimate truth about this situation.Ā āIf you told me sooner, then maybe he would still be here. What if heās dead, because of him and Millie.ā She couldnāt and wouldnāt hear what he was saying about their friendship and how he was sorry, she just wasnāt ready for that. She shrugged on the sleeves of her jumper, so she could wipe at her eyes with them. They were silently wiping at their eyes with their sleeves, metres apart. She turned away from looking at him and spoke as carefully and controlled as she could, but every now and then, a single word would break from the choking of her tears.Ā āI donāt want to talk to you right now,ā It was the most sensible thing she could say right then,Ā āBut if you really mean what you said, then you tell Millie that I never want to talk to her or see her again and you make sure she doesnāt come here.ā She turned to stare George right in the eye just to make sure that had sunk in for him.Ā āOkay?āĀ
The look on Aliceās face made Georgeās stomach churn, there had been plenty of times in their friendship where Alice had been upset, and nothing compared to the look she was giving him right now - especially knowing that he was the cause of it. Heād never caused Alice pain before, not like this, and he suddenly resented Millie for placing him in this precarious situation seemingly without any regret. Georgeās mouth was gaping and he simply shook his head in despair, unable to will anything out of his mouth that would possibly make this situation any better. Then Alice said what he was half-expecting but whole-heartedly hoping she wouldnāt say, she couldnāt be around him right now. What could he say to that? Heād just been the sole cause of her world crumbling down for the second time in a week. George sniffled, nodding as words finally found a way out in a croak.Ā āI understand.ā His eyes jerked up to meet hers at the request, and once again he immediately nodded without any second thought, something that would have shocked him in any other scenario.Ā āO-Okay, I can do that, Al. I just... I want to make things better, I can try my best to make things better.ā He wiped at his eyes once more and stood from the table. George carried his mug over to the sink, stopping in front of Alice.Ā āI know youāre mad at me right now, and thatās totally okay. You can be mad at me for as long as you need to, I deserve it. Iāve been a crappy friend to you, Al. But I meant what I said, I love you and Iāll make it better. Okay?ā He looked into her eyes, equally as saddened and tear stained as his own. With a single nod, he offered her a sad yet hopefully reassuring smile, and made his way to the door. Only then had it really registered to him what he had just agreed to do, deliver yet another earth-shattering message to someone whose reaction would be much more amplified than Aliceās. Millie.
Alice smiled at George with her ever-present sad eyes. It felt like it was too obvious how significant this smile was to George - she was forever grateful for his presence in her life, her oldest friend, and the biggest, goofiest joy in her life.Ā āIāll always indulge you,ā She stated, reaching over to put her hand on top of his. The words,Ā āI love youā could have come out then, but she was aware it might be too sentimental and sappy for her to say that right now, so she simply removed her hand and let out a controlled laugh.Ā āYouāre only saying that because otherwise, you would be to blame for a lot more things.āĀ
It was a strange sensation to feel your world collapse around you again. She wasnāt even aware that her world was beginning to repair itself after Matt, but now the heavy weight of bricks falling down on her shoulders was a strong reminder that there had still been things to care about. How would the world keep turning now?Ā āAn awful liar who has been lying to me for weeks?ā She choked out, running both her hands through her hair.Ā āAnd youāve been lying too.ā She stood up fast from the table and moved to the kitchen, firmly gripping the edge of the sink as she tried to focus on the bench that sat in the back of their garden. During summer days, Matt would always find Alice sat on there with a book and he would lie down in the grass with his own book. They would sit in comfortable silence and it was the strongest memory of intimacy that she knew. With every second she stared at the bench, her breathing got more controlled. She was able to note how this bombshell made both Millie and George suspects. She was able to know that she couldnāt trust either of them right now.Ā āIt was your job to tell me that sooner. Maybe this wouldnāt have happened - I would have stopped -,ā She shook her head, looking down into the sink at the remains of tea instead now.Ā āYouāve always picked Millie over me again and again and I was fine with that, but you should have picked me this time.ā She turned around finally to face him again and pointed at herself. āWhy couldnāt you have just told me?āĀ
George could have sat there the rest of the day just smiling with Alice. He could see the sadness in her eyes, it hadnāt left since the day Matt died, but he could also sense that the smile was genuine and because of that, his was too. It felt significant - George was still the person capable of making his best friend smile even in her darkest days, and he would always be that for her. Then her hand rested on his and the guilt resurfaced. He wanted to live in that moment of smiling, or any moment similar to it that had happened months ago - before everything had become so complicated. Still, he laughed with a knowing nod.Ā āWell... Yeah. But they donāt care, do you Madame Tea?ā He held the mug up to his ear, giving a pleased nod as if listening to the cup speak.Ā āShe saysĀ āgo for it, Georgie,ā and Iām not going to disobey the tea, Al. She also sends deep condolences to my tongue and subsequent burnt taste buds.āĀ
George felt completely lost as Alice stood from the table, his mouth gaping open and eyes wide in despair. Still, he repeated the mantra in his head - this was the right thing to do, she needed to hear it from you.Ā āI - I know I have Al. I canāt apologize for what Millie did, but I can apologize for keeping it from you. I -āĀ
He froze as she spoke again. It was his job, and heād failed miserably. He had been a shitty best friend and Alice really had no reason to ever forgive him. Georgeās eyes teared up when Alice turned to him again. The truth was, he would always choose Alice - it might take him months to get there, but she was always ever present in his decision-making, whether it was questioning if she would agree or disagree with something heād done, wondering if a joke heād made to someone else would have the same effect on her, seeing a meme or something ridiculous in a shop that reminded him of her - she was in his heart always. He didnāt reveal this though, he couldnāt, not now. Not when heād just broken her trust completely. He just shook his head blankly, not failing to notice the tear streaking his cheek.Ā āI know... I should have. I canāt take it back, Al, but I would do anything to be able to. I donāt know why I didnāt tell you sooner, I just - I donāt know.ā He choked back tears and shook his head.Ā āYouāre my best friend, Al. Itās always been you and me, you know? Before Millie, before college. And I guess I just lost sight of that, and I should have told you the moment Millie told me. Youāve always been there for me and supported me and you needed the same from me and I royally messed that up. Iām so sorry.ā He pulled his hand into his jacket sleeve and wiped at his eyes.
Alice gave a fake gasp and shook her head in the most teasing of ways.Ā āMillie referred to something you do as fake and childish? That must have been a pretty big hit to your already damaged ego when it comes to Millie.ā She let out a playful groan and threw her head back as if it hurt her to agree to this.Ā āFine, Iāll humour you for a few more years, I guess.ā A smirk filled her expression as she delicately blew on her tea and watched George being dramatic about his now burnt tongue.Ā āIt is not the teaās fault that you are incapable of being patient, George Brewer.ā
-Ā
She couldnāt take her eyes off George then. The kitchen could have been on fire around them and Alice wouldnāt take her eyes off him. There had to be a sign in his face that he was lying, she checked every line, every mole, every open pore, every eyebrow hair, every eyelash, and yet nothing suggested he was lying to her. This wasnāt some big joke. Her head fell forward, defeated. Her brother would never do something like that to Evieā¦ to her? With her best friend. She listened to every word George said, breathing deeply, but when he got to the last word, she jolted upwards again with a new determination to find this to be a lie.Ā āSheās lying, George. Sheās saying this for attention or to make this about herā¦ She probably didnāt even go to the police about it. Sheās notā¦ Matt was with Evie, sheās interested inā¦ā She trailed off, not wanting her brain to successfully put two and two together. Millie had been weird the past few weeks, getting giddy over texts, but being coy over who they were from. She thought after last night that she had a crush on Jack, butā¦ maybe it was just her trying to keep Alice from knowing the truth. The final question left like a delayed thunderclap after seeing the lightning. āHow could I have not known?ā
George sighed with a shake of his head.Ā āIt was heartbreaking, Al. Not even hot chocolate can fix the damage that did. Which is why itās so important that in this time of pain I have at least one friend who will indulge me.ā He watched as Alice let out a groan, raising his eyebrows in an amused yet pleased manner, clapping his hands once in success.Ā āIāll take a few more years - maybe in that time IāllĀ āgrow upā andĀ āstop reading into ridiculous ideasā like Millie is always saying I should.ā George gave a shrug at the thought, obviously not meaning any of it - he quite enjoyed being the bearer of ridiculousness for their little friend group, and didnāt see that changing anytime soon. So, when Alice reprimanded him over the tea, he shrugged.Ā āMaybe not, but itās a lot more fun to blame the inanimate object, isnāt it?ā
George may be very comfortable in his role as bearer of ridiculousness, however, the same could not be said for his current role of bearer of the worst possible news - a fact that was even more solidified as George continued to watch Alice grapple with the bombshell he just threw on her. His mouth gaped open and he shook his head as Alice insisted it was all a lie.Ā āAl... I wish it was, but you know Millie is an awful liar. She couldnāt keep something like this up if...ā He sighed, realizing that Alice knew Millie just as well as he did, and didnāt need an explanation of how that reasoning didnāt fit. George looked at Alice with saddened eyes, slowly shaking his head with another sigh.Ā āDonāt blame yourself for not knowing, Al... How could you? Millie and Matt did a really good job at hiding all of this.ā His brain was running a mile a minute through possible anecdotes to help comfort Alice, each being quickly discarded as he realized how they could hurt her more than helping. So, he settled on the one thing he could say.Ā āIām so sorry, Al. Iām sorry I hid this from you this long, it was so stupid.āĀ
Alice nodded like she always knew she was going to be correct on this front.Ā āApologies, you know that being the most clever of your friends means that I end up being practical and boring. I am sure Millie will be more than happy to still receive telepathic messages.ā She smiled, blowing softly on her tea, hoping George would take her lead as she knew how excited he could get sometimes with food and drink and he had burnt his mouth enough times for her to learn more than he had.Ā āYes, despite your best attempts, you have managed to take an interest in something that is actually good for you. I must congratulate you.ā
It was nice for her to escape to a world of silliness with George, but she thought about the interesting route her conversation with Amelia had taken and she so wanted to get Georgeās thoughts on it all. The fear of him reacting a similar way to Robin or not understanding why she needed to do this crossed her mind, but as she felt herself spiralling into a dark place, who else would be able to handle her like that? Just George. Truth to be told she had forgotten about him saying that he had something important to say and in fact, she thought it was just an excuse for him to spend time with her.Ā āI went to -,ā She looked up from stirring her tea, slightly startled by Georgeās quick succession of words firing at her like confused arrows.Ā
Help. George was giving her a desperate cry for help. Millie had done something stupid and entrusted George with this instead of seeking Alice - the person who could solve it. That was the only explanation.Ā āWhat has Mills done now? It must be bad -,ā Cut off again. A joke, no? She laughed and even as she heard it, she thought it belonged to a maniac.Ā āNo, what? Romantically? George, youāre being ridiculous!ā Unable to keep up with her manic outburst of laughter, her bottom lip jutted out, quivering slightly.Ā āRomantic? Matt wouldnātā¦ Thatās-thatāsā¦ Itās not true, itās just not.ā
George nodded solemnly, knowing that what she was saying was true.Ā āSadly, Millie swore off telepathic communications a long time ago... Something about it being fake and childish? Ridiculous. I for sure thought I could count on my oldest friend to continue it with me...ā He shrugged.Ā āAt least Abby will still humor me.ā George missed Aliceās hint at blowing on the tea before sipping, and immediately jumped as the scalding tea hit his tongue.Ā āGeez! Every. Time.ā He sighed and looked up at Alice with a small smile.Ā āAre we really sure tea is so good for us when all it does is hurt me every time?āĀ
George watched Alice carefully with sad eyes, flinching as she let out a laugh. One that was not Alice. Heād been a source of laughter for Alice for years, and proudly so, but in this case tears would have been easier for him to cope with.Ā āAls...ā He started as her denial set in and she refused to believe what heād just explained. Then the telltale signs of tears came, and George immediately cursed himself for wishing that in the first place. He sighed, frozen in place for once, unable to move at all other than running a hand through his hair. Finally, he moved back over to sit in front of Alice.Ā āAl... It is... Iām so sorry. When she told me I couldnāt believe it. She said it started as texts and then... I donāt know - more.ā He sighed and shook his head, letting it fall into his hands.Ā āIām so sorry Als... I knew I should have told you... I just, Millie was so scared of anyone finding out and she kissed my cheek and asked me not to tell you - I was so stupid.ā He lifted his head to look at her.Ā āSheās gone to the cops, they found messages between the two of them... I donāt know Al, itās all so complicated.ā
