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Exposition In the Elevator Shaft (And Esmé Steals Some of the Spotlight)

Hello! Welcome to the fifth ‘chapter’ of my Seven Six Widdershins Family Members AU. Inspired by the Six Baudelaire AU by unfortunate-stranger-losers, in this AU, the Book!Widdershins Family and Netflix!Widdershins Family are now combined together to make a family of six. If this is the first time you're seeing the AU and curiosity has you wanting to learn more, you can browse the tag chronologically via this link.

I apologize for the long gap. I ran out of energy to write for the AU. But in the gap years, I regained energy to write mostly everything up to The Grim Grotto. I do hope to post each 'chapter' semi-frequent.

Where we last left off: the Baudelaires after illegally living at Lucky Smells Lumbermill, got sent to Prufrock Prep. They befriended Duncan and Isadora Quagmire, and their friendship risked the two Triplets disguising themselves to have the Baudelaires do well in their final exam that would lead to their getting kick out. But the disguises work to a point; Olaf had the Acting Troupe present -the White Face Women- kidnap the Quagmires, and have Verne (Netflix!Fernald) and Fernald be the getaway drivers.

With Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire still not his clutches, Olaf decided he needs to get outside help in his latest scheme once again. Luckily for him, Esmé Squalor is partaking in the scheme. Esmé’s husband Jerome Squalor wanted custody of the children early on (the same time Olaf got custody of them). Esmé stopped him by going over the “in and out” way of thinking, and Jerome didn’t want to argue.

Having been asked by Olaf for help against the Baudelaires —Esmé’s grudge on their mother is still going strong even after the woman’s death— Esmé managed to ‘push’ the idea of orphans with those she hanged out with (all those with influences), and soon, orphans are now in. Jerome is ecstatic to hear the news, and instantly went to Mr. Poe’s office to persuade the banker that he (Jerome) and his wife should be their guardian.

Esmé got dragged along for the thing, if only to make sure Mr. Poe didn’t screw up. And Mr. Poe is screwing it up by refusing to let them be guardians.

Mr. Poe, looking at the papers in the file, and tsks: “I’m sorry, but the papers explicitly written by Mrs. and Mr. Baudelaire states that they want their children to be raise in a specific way with specific people they approved of.” Esmé: “But we knew the late Baudelaire Parents, Arthur! My husband was even friends with the late Mrs. Baudelaire herself!” Jerome: “Esmé, you were once considered her a friend as well, alongside her husband. You were always hanging out with them and their friends. Like Jacq—” Esmé: “Don’t interrupt me, Jerome. Financial people are talking to one another here.” Mr. Poe: *coughs* “That may be so, but your husband doesn’t fit all the criteria that Mrs. and Mr. Baudelaire want in their children’s guardian. Therefore, this extension applies to you, Esmé Squalor. I’m sorry, but my decision is final.” Esmé: “Now look here Arthur—” Jerome: “Please Esmé. Don’t make a scene. I hate making a scene more than making arguments. Outsiders would be poking their heads, and then ask what’s going on.” Esmé: “I’m not making a scene, Jerome. I’m trying to explain how we can we at least earn the right to be their guardians!” Mr. Poe: “There is no need to explain given you don’t fit all the criteria.” Jerome: “If I’m allow to interrupt, may I ask why the Baudelaires parents thought to send their children to a boarding school as fitting the criteria? I’m still confuse on that.” Esmé: *getting an idea* “Actually, my husband is right to ask that. We all know that the Baudelaires ran away before you could take them to their next guardian, Elwyn What-his-last-name, and they lived over a month at Lucky Smells Lumbermill.” Mr. Poe: “Yes. If they haven’t done that, I would have to find another person for them to live.Their Uncle Elwyn died in a tractor accident within the time period.” Esmé: “So the Baudelaires going to Prufrock Preparatory was in fact, a means to temporary house them while trying to find their next guardian?” Mr. Poe: “Yes.” *cough* Esmé: “So, given your confession, why shouldn’t my husband and I raise the children? We may not fit the criteria, but shouldn’t circumstances make us the closest people to fitting whatever wishes the Baudelaires parents wanted for their children?” Mr. Poe: *looks back at papers* “Considering the next person on the list doesn’t seem to have any contact information, I supposed if I ask the right people…”

With Esmé and Jerome now the Baudelaire guardians, Olaf enacts the new plan to capture them and their fortune. Olaf decides that this time around, he’ll deliberately stay away to give the Baudelaires false reassurance, as well as to make them concern over the missing Quagmires, who at this point in time, are at Olaf’s home, lock up in the Tower.

Fernald was pick by Olaf to be the other associate in on the scheme, this time as 667 Dark Avenue’s doorman. Before he could get started, Esmé explained how ‘in’ the location is, so Fernald just can’t be the new doorman so quickly, or else the management of 667 Dark Avenue will start getting suspicious. Luckily for Fernald, Esmé decided to help Fernald make the fake resume. Fernald almost wished she didn’t.

-

Esmé from what Fernald recalled of the fashionable, mathematical woman, never liked using a typewriter and keyboard unless 100% necessary. Paper and pen and pencil were her prefer way, as well as clicking away on her calculator. Yet here she is, typing away on the typewriter. Fernald was pretty certain that Esmé stole it from Snicket. Which one, he wasn’t sure, and he didn’t dare to plan on asking.

Speaking of plans, Fernald original had plans to ask Lucy or Penny to help type his resume, but Esmé was very persistent on helping him. Fernald wasn’t sure why.

“I must say,” said Esmé, typing way quickly, “it’s nice for us to spend quality time with one another again, Fernald. Of course, never I expected it to be like this.”

Fernald glanced down at the papers spread out on the table that Esmé took the occasional glance at. “I wouldn’t say we spend quality time back then either.”

Esmé gave out her usual laugh. “You don’t think all our time shopping at the mall with one another counts as quality time?”

“If quality time means dragging my stepfather and I from our quality time to carry your shopping bags, then yes,” answered Fernald dryly. “Out of all the people you know, you picked us. And the fact my stepfather even agreed to it!”

Esmé continued to type, not looking up at him. “And I picked you two because your stepfather is willing to volunteer his assistance for the most mundane, simplest things. It’s a stupid trait, but a trait that I can is why at one point, we were close to one another.”

Fernald rolled his eyes, and scoffed. “You two ran in different circles, and not just within the organization! Stepfather would rather be dead than appear in the latest popular restaurant or the newest fashion store! He doesn’t go for what’s in and out!”

Whatever in what he just said, it had Esmé briefly stop typing. Her lips curled into a smirk, and she turned to Fernald’s attention. Her eye shone brightly, like she was ready to make a sick joke.

“I said we were close to one another. I never said anything about liking him. There’s a difference, Fernald.”

Esmé turned her attention back to the typewriter, and typed away for a few more seconds before the sound of a ‘click!’ enter the air. “All done! That took less time than I thought! Now, let’s find an eye-pleasing folder to put it in, as well as an ‘in’ color scheme. Appearance is everything!”

She stood up, and walked pass him. Esmé playfully slapped his face, and laughed again. “If you’re that clueless, go ask your uncle what your stepfather did briefly during his missing years. You’re a grown man, Fernald. You should know what adults do.”

Fernald stay put in his chair, leaning back against the hard wood. She did not imply what he thinks is being implied, right?

Right?

-

Moving along with the horrors of what is hopefully Esme making up lies, Fernald got the doorman job sooner than expected. As such, Verne was unable to procure another set of fake wooden hands. Fernald resorted to wearing the oversize doorman uniform jacket to hide his hooks, alongside an oversize hat to cover his face. It’s around the time of Fernald getting the doorman job did Olaf ordered the rest of the Acting Troupe to move the Quagmires to the cage in the elevator shaft.

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny when officially arriving, were able to ‘relax’ for two weeks, but relaxing is difficult due to worrying for their friends and feeling guilty at times for having a comfortable life and the Quagmires are in God-Knows-Where.

[With the Quagmires due to living in the elevator shaft, they are given only one meal and drink a day. Olaf needs them alive, after all.]

The day Gunther arrives was chosen by Esmé. She was making sure that the Baudelaires truly had their guard down. Or at least felt like things are mostly safe.

Being a very good actress, Esmé fools the Baudelaires into thinking she like many other adults, got trick by Olaf’s disguise. Things go sideways though, when Fernald messes it up later in the night. He wasn’t supposed to slip-up how Gunther hasn’t left the penthouse; not yet at least. The slip-up has Esmé being forced to call Gunther who answered from a payphone (it took a lot of tries to find the right payphone too; Esmé wanted for a long time for Olaf to answer).

Upon the return back to the house, Olaf marches over to Fernald, and slams the man against the wall. He kicks Fernald in the stomach, and grabs up again, this time by the throat. Olaf then holds Fernald against the wall, looking like he’s wanting to kill. Perhaps Olaf was ready to kill, for the Troupe acted according. Most of them, at least.

Penny and Lucy: “Fernald!” Fernald: *is choking* Harper: “Oh no. This isn’t good at all.” *runs off to get Verne* Seller, laughing and rubs hands together: “Oh, this is going to be good.” Olaf: “How much of an idiot can you be!? What if the orphans realize your mistake! You ruined everything! God, I’m starting to regret allowing you to join all those years ago!” *Verne runs alongside Harper, and the two manage to break Olaf and Fernald apart. Harper is with Olaf, while Verne is with Fernald. Fernald’s face is red, and he’s inhaling and exhaling deeply* Verne: “You have to calm down, boss! I know you don’t think it, but I think what Fernald did can be put to our advantage! If we give Esmé the right cards to play, we can capture the Baudelaires in the elevator shaft with ease!” Olaf: *crosses his arms, looks intrigue by Verne’s words* “Go on, Nemo.”

And thus, the plan of Esmé throwing the Baudelaires down the empty elevator shaft is created! After moving the Quagmires into the red herring (after allowing the Baudelaires and Quagmires to meet up; give them false hope, you know) the Acting Troupe sans Fernald are getting ready the net. Harper soon learns that Fernald is not Verne’s brother, but his nephew, after Lucy comments how protective of an uncle Verne is.

Verne: “What is with people thinking this?”

Penny: “It’s a common mistake to make. It’s not our fault you’re close in age.”

Harper: “I thought an uncle is older by a number in the double digits.”

Penny: “Not in their case. You got to blame it on a remarriage between two adults with already adult children.”

Lucy: “Yeah, a remarriage leading to Nemo getting two brothers of similar ages!”

Penny, counting on her fingers: “There’s the oldest with the former funny mustache that Verne said once resembled parentheses. I don’t remember his name though, other than it starts with the letter ‘V’, like Verne’s own name.”

Verne: “You probably can’t even pronounce it anyway.”

Penny: “And there’s the other one with a fondness of fire. Ryan? Ronald? No…fuck. What it is? It’s on the tip of my damn tongue.”

Lucy hums a bit, and then snaps her fingers: “It’s Roland! Sort of like Childe Rowland! You know, that fairy tale where this boy kicks this ball over a church, and he loses his sister, because she went counterclockwise around a church to get the ball?”

Seller: “The fuck kind of name is Roland? It sounds rather primitively medieval. Only a parent with an old-fashion name themselves would name their child that.”

Verne, annoyed: “Rowland is the medieval name variation. Roland is not.”

Seller: “Still a medieval name, then.”

Harper, connecting the dots: “Roland, huh? I guess he’s the one who taught you Roland’s Folly, because he created it.”

Verne, softly: “Yeah. If you think I’m an unbeatable monster, Harper, you should have seen Roland playing. Especially against me.”

As Verne thinks about his brothers (step-brothers) and setting up the net with everyone else, Ephraim is traveling around the sea in his submarine the Nautilus.

Ephraim (Netflix!Widdershins) was sent on a solo VFD mission regarding 'THAT', and having seen how Tegan (Netflix!Fiona) worked well alongside her stepbrother (Book!Widdershins) when it came to saving Josephine Anwhistle's library, he decided Tegan should start her captain apprenticeship, with her stepbrother being her chaperone. Things are tense between the stepbrother and stepsister, but it's not like the older man has knowledge of this.

Ephraim had just sent his final dispatch report about how he hasn’t spotted ‘THAT’ in the last few days, and asked permission to go back to visit Tegan, and waits for a response.

-

Ephraim hovered his hands over the top desk drawer, and pulled it open. He then dug through countless of folders and papers that were always kept around for sentinel purposes, until he found a very worn-out photo taken years ago. Ephraim couldn’t help but smile. The photo was of him and a young Tegan, standing on a stool to be visible.

Around Ephraim’s shoulder was a hand. Ephraim desperately wanted to unfold the photo to see the smiling figure beside him. But if he does that, he would have no choice but see everyone else, all smiling and happy, not knowing of the future that laid before them all after the photo was taken.

“We change so much since then,” said Ephraim quietly, tracing a finger over the photo. “I wish you were still here with me. With all of us. We’re not the same without you.”

WRANG! WRANG! WRANG!

Ephraim quickly placed the photo into his jacket pocket, and soon stood up. He then ran, running all the way to the belly of the beast that is the control room. Ephraim silently lectured himself to relax in a such a moment of peace and quiet. Never Ephraim lowered his guard throughout the mission, and the one time he decided to do it…

He who hesitates is lost. Ephraim would rather know the danger late than never at all.

He turned the metal door open as fast as he can, and entered. Ephraim made his way towards the main control panel, alarm still screaming, red lights blinking. He didn’t bother to turn both off. He only locked eyes onto the sonar radar.

On the sonar radar, there was the blinking ‘N’ that is the Nautilus. Moving towards the ‘N’ was a fast-moving question mark. Ephraim without hesitation, turned to the nearest port window, and gasp.

Ephraim barely had time to properly react to the gigantic, dark eye glaring through the window, before hearing the familiar, terrifying roar.

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Sounds delicious.. That'll be $22.73