Maybe I've not given my husband enough credit for the life I've lived with him. It only got wretched in the end. The love never really left...we just allowed it to get hidden and deeply buried within.
He's been more of a muse for me than I realized.
Especially in the beginning, in our mid-twenties when we first met...his true love was pure and genuine. It was a blessing.
He is a Scorpio indeed and part of me despises his very nature, but also, part of me finds him incredibly endearing and hard to forget.
Since I've been with him for the last, twenty-two years, we've experienced a lot of ups and downs together. Like a roller coaster ride through life. It's been exciting and adventurous and intense. Yes!
We've traveled from one end of the country together to the other. We've road-tripped from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean.
We've created children together and raised a family together and made wonderful, long-lasting memories together.
Despite our arrangement to have an "open marriage" in recent years, it was always him I gravitated back to. Everything else failed or didn't work out for some reason or another. But he did. My husband did.
We wear matching clothes without even realizing we're doing it until after the fact. if that's not #soul #twinning, I don't know what is?
Maybe he's not my twin flame, maybe he's my soul mate!
Maybe he's always been but I hadn't embraced it yet. Maybe really I already had true love right before my eyes. I didn't need to go looking online or wonder about the virtual halls of despair to find love.
Maybe love had already found me but I was too busy looking elsewhere. I do declare, marriage isn't about seeing how fast you can get divorced. Marriage is about toughing it out through the bad times and celebrating the good. Just like the vows we take before God.
We've made our way through a lot of darkness together and still danced in the light afterward. I've painted and written and creatively progressed so much since knowing him.
Maybe I didn't let him know how much I truly appreciated him and how much I was motivated to better myself because of the love he showed me when I was young. When I needed love the most.
He was there. He wasn't just words or a ghost or a shadow, he was real, every day, present, and accounted for.
We've grown older together, and he is my best friend.
Despite the "rocky phase" we've recently gone through in our personal lives and our marriage, we can still look at each other at the end of the day, face-to-face, and choose to be okay.
Because true love does that stuff. Marriage does that stuff. Best friends do that stuff. Real life does that stuff. Courage does that stuff.
The rest is best left unsaid and undone.
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