Serena Williams is a woman and a professional.
Iām not a tennis player. I donāt usually watch tennis today, though I grew up watching grand slam matches with my parents and grandparents. Martina, Borge, McInroe, Agassi, Stephi - I knew them all. They were all-stars and heros among the matriarchs of my family. When teens Venus and Serena took the courts by storm, we all watched in awe. The power, the grace, the young professionalism, the focus and stamina against the worldās best. They werenāt unanimously favored, but their remarkable skills were revered nonetheless. Fastforward many yearsā¦the enthusiasm for tennis instilled in me as a child did not take, and I want to be honest, I donāt watch tennis. I really donāt like watching it, frankly. So, you may be asking why Iām weighing in on the US Open Womensā Final? Because, the news coming out of this match has little to do with tennis. In fact, the events of the match and the attention paid have abrasively stripped the āsportā from this final game, and perhaps in games to come.
Like Serena, I am a mother and I am adament about teaching my childrens the importance of honesty and integrity. To be called a cheater can feel pointedly offesive and goes to the heart of ones personal code of conduct. How dare you call me a cheater in front of my fans, my coach, my family, my children. It is a charecter ambush, especially in such public and high pressure atmosphere. Moreover, it casts a shadow of self-doubt during a critical time of intense focus and competition: āDid I really cheat? Iām not a cheater! How could someone even think that I would cheat? But did I?ā Whehter conscious or unconcsious, self-doubt, left unchecked and managed is self-desctructive. And unfortunately for Serena Williams, this was a sad truth for her at the US Open final.
In this instance the line judge gave Serena a warning for receiving coaching during the match. Her coach gave hand signals - Serena said a āthunbs upā and explained that it wasnāt coaching, though her coach during post-match interviews said that it was and they all do it. Regardless of whether it was intentional or by accident, a mistake was made. It happens all the time in sports. An athlete doesnāt mean to break the rules - perhaps he/she intends to toe the line and inadvertently crosses it. Sometimes the foul is called, sometimes not. In this case, the judge saw the foul and gave the warning. In re-watching the coverage, I was so impressed with Serenaās professionalism coversing with the judge. She acknowledged the warning and said it didnāt happen, but wasnāt coarse or inflammatory. I appreciated her persistance and could see a genuine concern about even the smallest slight against her well-kept charecter. āI donāt cheat. I have a daughter.ā Her defense was calm and rational and understandable.
Hereās what I donāt understand: Was Serena unaware that the coaching foul was an official warning? Did she believe that she talked her way out of it? āFoulā āOh, that wasnāt coaching. I donāt cheat.ā āOH, Okay. My bad. Nevermind.ā Does that even happen? Can you say āNo, that didnāt happenā and the judge just changes the call? I donāt know, but clearly Serena thought her defense was effective and quashed the foul, because her behaviors escalated.
Smashed her racket. Really? Serena is a professional. Sheās been doing this a LOOOOONNNNGGG time, and sheās uber good at it. She has little girls and boys around the world looking at her as their heroine, a real life superwoman. Is this the behavior what we want to model to young people? Is this the behavior we want associated with our charecter, with our talent. Do you think John McInroeās behavior on the court was flattering? No, it was a side-show act. Whether or not, you think he was right or the penalties (or lack thereof) are fair, watching him tantrum was embaressing to watch. As a mother, I would be more humiliated if my children witnessed this kind of loss of control. There are many ways we can show emotion, express anger and frustration that donāt involve destruction of property and disrespect for the equipment you rely on in your sport.
As the match progressed, Serena mentally unravelled. It could happen to anyone. Itās humanity. I donāt mean it as an insult. In a sport as mentally intense as tennis, your mental and emotional strength is as important as physical power. The call on coaching - fair or not - penetrated her pysche and affected her game. She has every right to her feelings, but her behavoir is all on her. Her obsession with being right and the line judge being wrong: āYou owe me an apology.ā All that energy directed away from her game, was her true demise. She made many mistakes that day. And thatās just it - they were mistakes. This incident doesnāt define who she is. Sheās a professional and made mistakes. And sheās a person that doesnāt make mistakes, canāt make mistakes. Her perfectionism is what has made her so successful.
What happened at the US Open isnāt sexist and I really donāt think itās about rule-following or cheating. Itās about the ability of an athlete to move past a mistake without allowing that mistake to bring him/her down. Serena is a strong woman and a professional and she will no doubt come back from this. But there was nothing heroic about her troublesome behavior that day. And we shouldnāt put her on a female empowerment pedastal for her actions calling out hypocracy, because even if the call was hypocritical, she still behaved badly and made game-affecting mistakes. The true test is how she comes back. Does she ackowledge her mistakes and how she work to prevent those mistakes in future matches? We havenāt seen the last of Serena. I just hope the next time, she returns as the professional I know her to be - because in our quest for fermale empowerment, we need our heros to act heroic.