why

i'm alex and i'm 18 years old

[awwww-cute]

I thought the shopping bags were a bit heavy

[tropius2-deactivated20160313]

[cement-boy-deactivated20210401]

I’ve been laughing for 20 minutes

[busket]

holy shit

[tsarcasm-deactivated20180922]

how is this a life hack

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

life hack

[kimpossibooty]

You would not believe your guts

If ten million of deez nuts

[moondoor-representative]

I read this to the tune of “fireflies”

[kimpossibooty]

Oh shit that would’ve made for a good joke I should have thought of that

[number1junglistbadman]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[fonzworthcutlass]

[slimetony]

Inventory

frozen chicken patty (breaded)

[the-real-d-sandman]

>use frozen chicken on campfire

[slimetony]

frozen chicken patty (burnt)

[c3po]

drop frozen chicken patty

[slimetony]

frozen chicken patty (burnt) bounces

frozen chicken patty (burnt) hits leg for 15 damage

frozen chicken patty (burnt) has embedded itself in your leg

[slimetony]

[bleedandcry]

why do puppies sound so funny

[bleedandcry]

update: this is him now

[babyanimalgifs]

[superattacku]

Remember that Raccoon that was crushed by the cruel fate that is cotton candy plus water? Well, there was a happy ending after all!

[thechubbynerd]

LOOK AT HIM HE LEARNED

[effyoutrav]

give him anything he wants

[imanasoh]

[offensivememes4u]

The prophecy

[elderly-scrolls]

[insomniac-arrest]

feeling when entering a store

walmart- paranoia

7/11- certainty

target- home

super target- your estranged aunt’s home

macy’s- smugness

Home Depot- loss

whole foods- the kale feeling

CVS- the all knowing eye of God

dunkin donuts- a lady yelling at me in a brooklyn accent

walgreens- grandpa’s firm hand shake

costco- endurance