Genuinenly feels like people nowadays all seem to post on media about the idea of obsessing with somebody more than actually talking to real people. Like to me it feels like people have become more avoidant and reluctant of making genuine connections with people.
Yes it takes being vulnerable to connect with somebody, yes it takes energy, yee its scary, and yes its 100% worth it.
Normalise double, triple, or quadruple texting for fuck sake.
I love to see it(like with friends, esp partners). I love to see when someone cares. I love to see somebody who thinks I am worth their attention and their energy.
I find people who are afraid of commitment boring cowards who chicken out as soon as they are supposed to provide. Whats with people playing nonchalant hard to get, sort of mind games with people they like "hAh bRo lemme calculate if they send me a message 20 minutes after my reply that means optimal time is 59 minutes and 69 seconds to show I am into her but not desperate and got other options or to show I am busy." or some shit. Bro get a life. If you are that hard to get then I will just say fuck it and not get you lol. I know so many who act like this. I understand life gets a lil busy sometimes, perfectly fine, you are not entitled to immediately reply to anyone, but if you care about somebody and maintaining connections, then you will make time of 30 seconds to respond in a reasonable time. Its a fact of life, we all get busy and we all gotta make sacrifices to keep our friendships.
Guys its a normal fucking human experience to yearn for somebody and want to talk to somebody you enjoy talking to, and yes its good to initiate the convo cause if it doesn't work out, hey you tried and you are better than 99% of people. Be annoying to people, come up to them and yapp. Yes normalise yapping to people too. If that bothers you thats on you buddy, at least communicate to me I if am annoying. Btw be annoying its good actually, until the person tells you to stop. Thats how you make friends for real.
This is why dating is so fucking frustrating. Everyone plays mind games and hard to get with each other. Pls leave those people alone forever, they are waste of time fr. I will be real with ya, both men and women need to chill the fuck out ngl. Stop blaming each other for your own problems and give each other a hand of kindness. Time to shut your mouths and learn about basics of just being good to human beings.
I will be real, no nobody will be understanding of you taking ages to respond, we all get busy, its true but somehow we still find the time to talk to each other despite it. At this point in general socialising I see it more as an excuse rather than genuinine lack of time. Get real bitches.
And yes its time to condemn your favourite avoidant abuse tactic, ghosting. Yaaay!!!! Ghosting is genuinenly my biggest pet peeve. But a disclaimer its okay if you like sorta stop talking to somebody you knew for a day or week and you two didn't click anyways or didn't have much or its nothing. I am not talking about that. What I am talking about is when you two have something, friendship, or anything similar or deeper with emotional investment. If you ghost that person, you aren't being "self care yass queen" you are the toxic and shit actually. Its missuse of therapy speak to avoid confrontation with the person you have a connection with. Ghosting leaves behind just broken hearts. I think we need to start ghosting shaming ngl. You need to communicate with somebody. To tell them in the face how you feel. Because you do owe them that at least since you two knew each other and they were invested. Yes with friendships you do have do have to make sacrifices. It feels hard, its gonna hurt, but its gonna pay off and would turn you into a better person who can state their concerns and boundaries. Ghosting is unproductive and people who do it never learn from it and have delusions about being healthy, but are wayy more crazy than they like to admit. They cant form healthy connections with others.
All in all, I just want to humanize basic human experiences and emotions, and aspects this cultural climate started demonizing. Society is overcorrecting wayy too much. Like boundaries are good but not so good you gotta build up a wall like Trump and let no one in. Unless you like to be lonely like him in your ivory tower. Go ahead don't expect anyone to give a fuck about you up there. If you dont let anyone in its hard to make friends. Have a normal fence like everyone, let your neighbour in to have a coffe. Extreme boundaries are as toxic as no boundaries. And exteme self care and belief we don't owe anyone anything are fueling narrcism and egoism. We do owe everyone at least a small ounce of our attention as human beings. Its called charity. I believe we are not owed relationships, thats earned. But a little bit of attention to hear what we have to say once YES.
Its time to bring some balance, because those "healthy" people have paradoxically created a toxic culture of obsessing with an idea of obsession rather than with another human being, of building endless walls and defences around themselves when in reality they should have built a strong core inside, because walls protect a weak fragile core. These people are weak on the inside. And all of these things, fuel a self obsessed person who is bound to be lonely.
Its time to open our eyes. Because I believe that we can all build a more compassionate world. It starts with service to others. That helps us back.
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