Recovery @ghostyflowergrl - Tumblr Blog

how I crave to feel loved and enjoyed. I want to feel as though my presence is desired and beloved. I want my heart to feel full. but it's not about what I want. this is exactly what I deserve. I am hideous and vile. I am gross and deceitful. apathetic and unlovable, just as it was intended.

poetic-distortions

viivi5

that feeling when you see everyone around you get treated with love and attention, and all that’s left for you is to watch from afar and wish that it was you.

lonely-in-the-rain-deactivated2

wishing-for-deathx

I feel heartbroken and numb at the same time. Like there’s shards in my heart but I can’t feel them. More and more keep getting added and I just helplessly watch it happen.

7nvk

i will give and give until nothing is left of me

remanence-of-love

djklmnx

on the days when your trauma is louder than your love, remember you are more than what has hurt you

queenneb

As someone with anxiety, I cannot do inconsistency. Don’t introduce me to energy and a vibe you don’t plan on maintaining. One minute, you’re sweet; the next minute, you’re mean and cold. One minute, you’re present; the next minute, you’re distant. Absolutely not. Those are emotional mind games, and for my own sanity and peace, I will not tolerate it. Ever. Just leave me alone.

dysphoresque

Why is it the daughter's responsibility to be the mother of their mothers and not the other way around? It's like they birthed someone to hold their rage, as if it was the only thing a daughter is ever good for.

pain-is-my-game

Parents really do traumatize you and then force you to reparent yourself instead of being a capable human being who can contribute to society like a normal person. Sorry I can't get a well paying job right now I'm trying to learn coping mechanisms.

traumasurvivors

People often say that what happened to you wasn’t your fault, but that healing is your responsibility.

And that is true. But sometimes we can feel dismissed when people say that.

Sometimes we just want an acknowledgement that it isn’t fair. It isn’t fair we have to heal from the things other did to us.

What happened to you wasn’t fair and the healing you have to do as a result isn’t fair.

I hope you heal because you deserve to be healed but it isn’t fair that that’s what you have to do now.

running----away

At some point in my life, I feel like I'm losing all my will to live. I feel like it's easier to give up than to continue fighting for an endless battle. Sometimes I'm tired of lying to myself that everything will be okay— that I'll be happy again and I'm going to heal from all the heartaches that I've been bearing. There are times where I feel like I'm losing hope in everything and I am just moving with the flow of life. I could no longer find any motivation to survive a day, I just live my life as if I have no other choice but to wake-up and get up in bed.

Behind every smile that I show to everyone, there is a dead soul inside me. Most days, I feel like I'm drowning in sadness. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to tell anyone that I am not okay all along. I'm tired of being resilient. I'm tired of acting so strong. For the first time after how many years of being brave, I want to admit that I am so tired of this life and I don't wanna be sad anymore. I no longer want to feel like dying with the pain that I've been keeping inside. I'm tired, and I feel so lost at the same time.

— Shiori X

Art: Shaza Wajjokh

CTTO: Shattered Pen