⧽ ۫ ׅ pink , purple and blue .
sieun was still awake at his books, when the doorbell suddenly rang. who could it be? - sieunxsuho, oneshot
cw sfw, angst, fluff, mentions of kissing, swearing
a/n i’ve never written anything on tumblr before, but this afternoon i was inspired by a tt edit bout these two 𑣿 english is not my first language, so please excuse any mistakes :‹ hope u guys enjoy it even if its a bit short :( just 4 fun!
𝓼ieun grew even more restless at the sound of the doorbell.
it echoed through every room, making him flinch, staining his physics book with ink.
he put down his pen, removed his earphones, and slammed his left palm onto the paper, turning toward the hallway his bedroom faced.
he took a quick glance at his phone screen, rubbing his eyes: it was two in the morning, and he was still awake studying.
he hadn't realized how late it had become. after closing the books on his desk, sieun stood up, smoothing the fabric of his uniform.
he hadn't even changed; in fact, as soon as he had gotten home, sieun had simply pulled his books from his backpack, sitting on his small chair, hunched over his notebook with his pen gripped between aching fingers.
it was his way of not thinking about everything else, pretending everything was in its place, everything was normal.
and that sudden sound had burst his bubble, the one he had taken refuge in for all those hours, without even noticing. sieun stood up and headed toward the front door.
who could it be at this hour? that was the only question the boy asked himself as he heard the bell ring again.
he had a name in mind, actually; but he tried not to think too much about it.
after all, he didn't want anyone he knew to see him in this state: tired, with a lost gaze, rage still in his chest, and a black eye.
the greenish bruise spread from his cheekbone, curving right under his eye, touching the bridge of his nose and slightly swelling his upper eyelid.
and like a patch of watercolor, the following day it would take on other colors; pink, purple, blue, staining his face irremediably, making itself visible to everyone.
he touched his eye with his fingertips before giving himself a quick tidy up, running a hand through his hair and hiding his reddened knuckles in his pockets.
and then, he grabbed the handle, and with a sharp pull, opened the door.
both faces took on the same expression as soon as their gazes met.
a mixture of surprise, disappointment, and embarrassment.
but suddenly, the night breeze felt almost warm against sieun’s skin.
"listen, i don’t know what came over me today-".
the boy took off his helmet, shaking his head slightly, but then stopped as soon as he laid eyes on his friend’s face, right behind the door.
sieun flinched and slightly lowered his head, but the door swung wide immediately, forcing him to step back.
"what is that. look at me".
sieun tried to take the helmet from him, but suho snatched it quickly from his hands, letting it fall with a dull thud, and then caught his chin between his fingers.
he lifted his face, forcing him to meet his gaze, even though sieun tried to look away.
there were a few moments of silence.
suho analyzed his face, lingering on the battered eye, sighing loudly.
"suho, really, it’s nothing".
"you have to tell me who did this to you, sieun".
and then the silence returned.
the two boys looked into each other's eyes, one in front of the other, chests rising with their heavy breaths and flushed cheeks.
and both had a flashback of that same afternoon, when they had found themselves by chance in that same position during lunch break, behind the school, alone.
suho interrupted both their thoughts, bringing them back to reality.
sieun stepped back, and suho let go of his face, swallowing nervously.
"they were picking on juntae again. i defended him".
"and you got into trouble again, didn't you?".
sieun tried to justify himself, but as soon as he found the strength to look his classmate in the eye, he stopped short.
he knew he couldn't lie to him, because it was impossible for him to do so.
and so he fell silent, looking at the floor again, and the room felt cold to him once more.
suho, on the other hand, had stiffened even more, remaining standing in the same position as before.
the boy's words seemed shouted in the silence of the room, even though in reality he had barely whispered them.
and suho nodded, sighing again as he noticed the veil of tears appearing in his friend's eyes.
sieun turned, dragging himself into the kitchen while trying to quiet his own mind, far too full of thoughts.
and his friend followed him, stopping in front of the table, placed in the center of the small room.
"i see. now don't worry about it, okay? anyway..."
sieun turned slightly, looking at him out of the corner of his eye.
"...i wasn't here for that. but it doesn't matter now. it's stupid".
"no" whispered sieun with a final thread of voice, clinging to one of the chairs to turn around
"i know why you're here. we can talk about it, if you want".
suho suddenly felt like he was suffocating.
his shirt had become too tight, his clothes were sticking to his skin, it felt like they were trying to crush him.
he swallowed again, trying to look confident, even though he knew very well that sieun could always read him like an open book.
"don’t change the subject. tell me what fucking happened. look at your goddamn hands, sieun. your knuckles are split open”.
suho finished the sentence and realized he had raised his voice a bit too much, and now he could hear his heart echoing in his ears. it was like the ticking of a bomb.
"you're afraid". sieun stood there, near the kitchen counter, holding himself up firmly with his arms.
he was in pain, completely exhausted by everything and everyone.
suho's eyes widened, though he remained impassive.
"it's normal, i was afraid too in that moment".
how could he talk about it so openly?
the mere thought of what had happened that same afternoon made his skin crawl.
not that he hadn't liked it; in fact, he had been the one to step forward.
"i'm not afraid. i was the one who did it".
"we all do things we are afraid of".
sieun coughed, bringing a hand to his stomach, and suho instinctively lunged toward him, only to stop as soon as he realized it.
he remained staring at him with eyes wide and darker than usual, while his friend slowly filled a glass of water, then brought it to his lips, taking a few sips.
"what do you want me to say".
suho knew perfectly well what sieun wanted to hear, and sieun, in fact, finally turned to look at him.
his eyes had always stirred a sort of restlessness in suho, and in that moment, meeting them, he shivered.
sieun hesitated, and then finally, with one of his usual whispers, spat out those words he had already rehearsed a hundred times in his head.
"when you think back on it, what do you feel?".
and suho didn't even have time to find an answer before he found himself, again, visualizing that precise moment in his head.
the warm sun on their skin, uncertain hands sliding into his hair, as he brought his face closer and closer to sieun’s, taking a chance and hoping he would accept the joining of their lips.
they had both let themselves go to a feeling they had craved for a long time; that of holding each other tight, while time seemed to have stopped, giving them the moment to touch each other gently.
"i've thought about it, suho. what i feel isn't fear".
the boy's words forced him into reality, bringing him back down to earth.
and suho had never felt as helpless as in that precise moment.
he was used to winning every argument, to spitting out judgments without any fear, without reflecting too much.
because usually he didn't care about anything, yet in that moment he felt he had to choose the right words, to take a moment to reflect.
"obviously, i've thought about it too".
true. suho had thought about it plenty.
he had brooded over that kiss for the entire way back from school.
he had been angry with himself, he had huffed, he had cursed himself for attempting such a risky move, he had wondered about the reason for that instinct.
why had sieun kissed him back?
and why, every time he thought back on it, did he feel a void opening in his chest?
he had been feeling bad all evening, and during his work shift, he hadn't resisted.
he had sped up, heading toward his house, looking for an answer.
and then, when he had seen his beautiful face struck by someone's rage, he had felt a fire flare up inside him.
and he had ended up there, in sieun's kitchen, staring at his aching body and his reddish knuckles.
it wasn't the first time he had seen sieun in that state, but that night, everything seemed to have changed.
suho had gotten angrier than usual, and sieun, in his eyes, was now something to protect, to not leave to anyone else.
he didn't want them to even touch him with a finger, and he was ready to do anything to avenge him.
"and honestly, i don't know. i don't know what it is, but i can't stand to see you like this. you've always been close to me, even while i was in the hospital, and now it's my turn".
"so you're doing it to return the favor".
"no sieun. i'm doing it because i want to, like today's kiss".
the words had slipped out of his mouth without asking permission, and now he couldn't go back.
and perhaps, he was relieved, because it was everything he wanted to say, but without finding the courage.
suho faltered, falling silent abruptly, waiting for some reaction from his friend.
but sieun seemed to have relaxed, and now looked at him with an expression that was almost a smile.
he wasn't nervous, or resentful, as he had imagined.
and so, suho found the strength to continue speaking.
"i came to you because i feared you hadn't liked it. but i liked it. i liked it, sieun".
suho looked at sieun, trying to catch his breath, which now seemed to be failing him, and he found himself hypnotized by those large dark eyes that scrutinized him, making him feel self conscious.
and sieun took a step forward, grabbing his friend's arm, then resumed staring at him with eyes still glistening.
"then do it again, please. and then i'll tell you everything".
"what?" suho tilted his head, whispering.
"i'd like to do it again, if you want".
sieun, for the first time, felt alive.
those words were fuel and they lit him up inside.
and the mere thought of being able to feel again that strange but beautiful sensation of that afternoon made all the pains of the blows he had taken go away.
of course, he feared his friend would refuse.
but deep down he knew he wouldn't, because he knew him far too well.
and indeed, it was not so.
suho stared at him with the same expression he had when he had done it for the first time.
and as he moved his hands from the kitchen counter to his hips, the boy moved even closer to him, without looking away for even a second.
he shook his head slowly, closing his eyes, and then looked at him again with a clenched jaw and held breath.
"fuck, I was wanting to go again too" he said with a thread of voice, before gently pressing his lips onto sieun’s, letting himself be carried away by the touch of icy fingers on his neck and by the sound of rain tapping delicately on the windows.
and so, he let himself go again.
suho was no longer afraid of anything, and finished what he had left halfway that same afternoon, deepening the kiss, and letting their heavy breaths crash against their lips like waves on the shore.
they held each other tight and let time flow as it pleased, without worrying about anything anymore, at least for that night.
and that same night, suho spent it at sieun's house, lying next to him, under the covers of a bed that had never been so comfortable for the one who always slept in complete solitude.
the wounds were no longer so painful, the bruises seemed to have disappeared under his friend's touch, and sieun's eye was now healing under the warmth of a pair of lips he had desired from the first moment.
and the two hugged tightly, falling asleep at the same time in the darkness of the small room, letting themselves be cradled by the wind, by their deep breaths, and by the warmth of their skin heating the sheets.
and that night, sieun and suho dreamed of the same thing.
the two of them, together, finally.
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