It Was always a black void these days, an endless abyss of nothingness beyond two stars shining brightly above his head. A reminder of how terribly small he was in the grand scheme of everything both in the game and outside of the game. That was every dream.
This nothingness and the stars and their whispers. Violent and cruel, wickedly sharp with mockery.
“You failed to stand as a leader. They all die and they may as well die at your hand.”
“Your stand against the hunt didnt do anything.”
“Your sacrifice was for people who will always leave you. Leave first.”
Each word a slice across his desires and fortitude in the face of hurt and lost. A promise that there would always be a separation between himself and those he deemed beloved. And of course the void would always consume him, sending him bolt right in bed, sweating and crying.
Tonight was no different, sat upright in an underwater home, an offer made out of a shared desperation and acceptance at failure. His chest raised and fell rapidly with panting cries, every bit the terrified animal the void had made him into. Wide eyes flitted about in the room, first on the villager tucked into his own bed then the gates meant to protect, the members of a team not his own, and finally … finally..
Seb. His seb. The only other member he had left.
His hand trembled as it reached out, cupping a fluffy cheek first to feel the heat of his flesh against his own cold hands, then raising to run thin fingers through the shock of purple and green hair. It was soothing, proof that the other was real and alive, that seb hadn't abandoned him and taken flight in the night like aria had.
He hadn't expected to end up caring for the sheep as much as he ultimately did but the fates loved to fuck with him. Seb was easy to talk to and bond with, sweet and quick to protect him without undermining his own attempts to keep the team safe. Many nights ended up with them shuffling into beds close enough that they could both reach out and check the other over should they wake. Mornings spent eating whatever bread and carrots were left over in preparation for the blood that would be spilled. He held so few doubts that if asked, seb would follow him to hell and back, would pursue him into the mountains and warm his cold hands should he flee to the edges of the world.
He let out a shaky breath and finally pulled his hand away, stumbling out of the bed and back up into the hydroponics farm, padding out to the vegetable garden to peer up at the sky blurred by yards and yards of water. The sun was nearly in the sky, a new day would begin soon and deep down, he knew.
He knew that one would die before the other. He'd either abandon seb to the wolves or be devoured by himself. Both options sickened him to his core and yet, when the sun would come up fully and the announcement would ring out, he knew he'd step out into the light and bare his gnashing teeth to the hunt.
