|| I just wanted to take a moment to make this post to share that I will be stepping back for a while. Along with upcoming examinations and personal matters to handle, there are things that have just been piling up on me.
I recognise that I have been taking numerous breaks lately, which also sometimes adds to my guilt, especially since I have many lovely requests pending; for which I am deeply grateful for. I had initially considered answering them gradually, but I ultimately decided that for my own peace, it would be best to simply abandon social media entirely.
I am not sure for how long I will be inactive, but hopefully my blogs will be up and running at a good pace as soon as things are settled. Please, do not hesitate to send in any requests or prompts, i will try my best to respond when I return. Thank you 💕
The large torii gate to Kumano Hongū Taisha Grand Shrine (熊野本宮大社) in Tanabe, Wakayama Prefecture, surrounded by rice fields in early May
La gran puerta torii del gran santuario de Kumano Hongū Taisha (熊野本宮大社) en Tanabe, prefectura de Wakayama, rodeada de campos de arroz a principios de mayo
Image from the shrine's official twitter account on May 4, 2024
As the dust settled around the ruins, the man’s gaze fell upon the small figure amidst the debris. It was an innocent child, injured by the weight of the collapsing structure that had filled the village. Among all the lives that were mercilessly taken, this child remained the sole survivor in this devastation.
To have witnessed all your loved ones, all the memories spent in the homes and places you've grown up in, to see everything being crumbled and destroyed right in front of your eyes was a burden far too heavy for such tender shoulders. The man could only imagine the horror that had unfolded before the child’s eyes as the world crumbled around him. No soul, especially not one so young, should ever have to endure such suffering. To endure so much pain—a pain he had seen many families go through in the course of his life, hunting demons, as he would witness them inflicting the most damage—some not even for the sake of fulfilling their hunger but for the sake of bringing forth the most pain as possible.
The man assisted the mare, swiftly and meticulously clearing away the debris from the house to free the child. He removed his haori, draping it gently over the small figure to provide some warmth against the biting chill of the air. Yet, deep down he understood that the true scars left on this innocent child's heart would remain long after the physical wounds had healed.
The man listened intently to the mare's guidance, nodding in understanding. With great care, he lifted the child, careful to avoid any injuries as he got on, cradling the child in his arms, using his haori as a blanket. He had never been on horseback before; as a demon hunter, he had always preferred the swiftness of his own legs to the steadiness of a steed. But now, with uncertainty clouding his mind about their destination, he chose to trust the mare. Together, they would navigate the path to the village.
This was a victory. His eyes gleamed with a fierce, unbridled excitement. This power, it was his now. He felt it coursing through his veins, pumping in time with his heart. The very ground beneath his feet seemed to tremble with every pulse of his newfound might. He knew he could do anything with it, be anyone. Yet, as he raised his hand to feel the electricity dance upon his fingertips, a sudden, crushing weight descended upon him.
It was not the weight of responsibility, nor the burden of fate—it was the weight of the countless lives he had taken, the endless screams of those who had crossed his path, and the cold emptiness of a world he had destroyed for this very moment. All of it had been worth it, every single thing he had done, he had done it to become the strongest as he snapped his head back and looked at him.
"It is not a dream," the elder's voice was stern, cutting through the cacophony of power that thrummed around him. "This is your reality, your curse, your destiny. And as much as you may wish to ignore it, you will always be second to me." The words hit like a hammer, shattering the illusion that had momentarily held him captive. The child no doubt felt the air leave his lungs as he stared at his brother, the one person he had always looked up to, always envied.
“Now you know what it is like …” He said to him. “To live in my shadow …”
His expression softened, his eyes reflecting a sadness that seemed to mirror the child's own. "This is your curse now," he said, his voice gentle despite the harshness of his words, "fate is cruel. It gives and it takes. You have the power to surpass me, but you've always been second in the eyes of those who should have mattered most. You were too gentle and soft, to do what needed to be done."
As he spoke the truth. “Always running away.” He said as he walked towards him. “Always missing, when you are needed the most.” He hissed the words. “The strongest man alive, failed to save anyone.”
He took a step forward, his own hand reaching out tentatively, as if to comfort, but the child recoiled, as he allowed his hand to longer. He couldn't bear the touch, the reminder of what he had become. "You are the one who was meant to be the greatest and you wasted it," the elder said, his voice now devoid of its earlier harshness. "You had been given the means to change the course of our lives, to rewrite the destiny that was laid out for us, and you ran from it, it should have been me."
With a heavy heart, the child looked up at his brother as he looked at him. The hope in those eyes, the desperation, it was too much. He knew his little brother didn't want this power, didn't want this curse. He just wanted to go home, to the time before the dreams and the whispers of fate. Without another word, he watched him as he spun on his heel and sprinted away from the area, his legs pumping like pistons, carrying him farther and farther from the truth he could no longer bear. He watched him go, his eyes never leaving the retreating figure until it vanished into the night. He knew he had to follow. He had to bring his brother back, to make him understand. The child was still part of him.
His footsteps were swift and silent, a stark contrast to the pounding of his heart. The night air was cold and unforgiving, but he barely felt it as he sprinted through the area, his eyes scanning the shadows for any sign of his brother. His lungs burned with the effort, but he pushed on, driven by a fierce love that had been twisted into something dark and desperate. When he finally saw the child's silhouette.
The child stumbled, his legs threatening to give way beneath him. He didn't stop, didn't look back, just kept running. But he was no match for the demons speed. In a flash, he was upon him, his hand shooting out to grasp his arm. The child tried to resist, but the grip was too strong. With a swift motion, he was spun around and knocked to the ground, the wind knocked out of him.
The nest was filled with the cheerful chirping of birds, their harmonious tunes blending together as their mother joined her chicks in song, huddled up closely like a happy family, before their father would arrive to care for them, providing nourishment and warmth while the mother took flight.
Yoriichi, too, had experienced such moments of joy and love within the presence of his elder brother and mother—being looked after with that same nurturing affection as those little baby birds; as he looked up at him, hoping to find the same affection and care in his eyes, hoping to meet with a similar gaze as his—both of whom would exchange gazes—an unspoken understanding as they would see themselves and each other within the brood. Yet... no matter how far he would try to reach his hands for that warmth, he was met only with a harsh coldness.
The unrestrained power and formidable presence emanating from his elder seemed to intensify with each passing moment. The animosity that seeped from him—the vicious demeanor that had now become a part of this man, who he once looked up to as a "brother." All of this felt so surreal.. all of it felt so wrong—
"No.. this is all a dream—" the child repeated, his voice trembling on the verge of tears. Struggling to suppress his emotions as he grappled with the absurdity of the situation he was in. Why was his brother—the one who had always used to encourage and comfort him— suddenly treating him with such cruelty? That familiar face, the one that looked at him with such warmth and care, now gazed at him with those cruel, and strange six eyes that adorned his face. No.. all of this, it was a dream.. it had to be—
"My brother would never express such things to me!" The child looked up at the elder, a storm of frustration and sorrow flickering in his eyes—his expression was beginning to reveal emotions, a stark contrast to his usual calm demeanor. The stoic mask he once wore so well was slowly beginning to crack; his uncaring facade had now started to crumble, and what once seemed like an unsettling attitude now appeared nothing more than a childish act of defiance. It was clear that his tender age was now becoming more and more apparent—
"My real brother had aspired to become a samurai.. not to sprout some bizarre extra pairs of eyes. He cares very much about me..!"
He exclaimed. His voice trembled slightly, an sense of anger swelling within his heart, and a worry that threatened to take over his mind. Foe the first time in his life he had felt, let alone, shown such profound emotions. However, that intensity quickly subsided, and the boy quickly fell silent once more. His gaze fell to the ground, the ache in his heart growing heavier. In a barely audible whisper, he added—
"He.. was the only one who ever cared.."
Living under the shadows of his brother was all that Yoriichi had ever known—given mere scraps in the name of food while his brother feasted on hearty meals. The worn and tattered clothes of his elder were passed down to him, and all the responsibilities of becoming the clan's heir fell squarely on his brother's shoulders. Yoriichi had always been relegated to the background, treated as if he were nothing more than an animal to be forgotten.
".. I have always lived in your shadows.." the child admitted. He did not perceive this as an insult; rather, it was a truth he had come to embrace. He believed himself to be a cursed child, unworthy of the world's offerings. He moved with the utmost silence, his footsteps as light as feathers, even controlling his breath to remain unnoticed. This was the way they were raised: one destined for greatness, the other meant to dwell in obscurity.
Yet still, despite all that, the elder used to hold such affection for him—he knew what the truth held; he knew that Yoriichi was nothing more than a pathetic child living in the shadows. but unlike the others, he chose to acknowledge this truth and vowed to protect him. Rather than looking down on him for his lower status and scorning him, he took it upon his shoulders to protect and care for him.
"But I do not understand.. why your heart suddenly harbors such bitterness towards me.." The child averted his gaze once again, attempting to dismiss the elder's words. He understood that whatever this "stranger" was trying to provoke in him was merely a ploy to unsettle him. Yet, as much as he tried to do so, it was working. Each syllable spoken out oozed with harshness, even though his tone was gentle. The looks directed at him were gentle, yet the intensity behind them revealed a starkly different narrative—one filled with resentment. This man took on his brother's form, yet he knew that the person who lied within was completely different. Those words that left his lips felt genuine.. but—
"I told you so already.. I do not know what you are talking about!"
Another outburst. Another moment, when that facade would crack and the weight of the hurtful words began to take its toll. He just did not understand.. Was this a strategy to provoke him into speaking out, to witness his anger and amplify his already cursed existence? Was this a strategy to provoke him into speaking out, to witness his anger and amplify his already cursed existence? Was this an attempt to incite the wrath of the gods themselves? None of the words uttered resonated with the child, for the last memory he held was of going to bed in the estate; he had not even been sent to the temple yet.
"Lies.. all lies..!" —
The child bolted away into the distance, sprinting with all his might, tears threatening to overflow from his ruby red eyes as he sought to escape it all—running with every ounce of strength he possessed, heading wherever his legs would carry him. He was indifferent to the possibility of bears, kidnappers, or any dangers that might threaten his life. None of that mattered to him. The exhilaration of finally breaking free was worth the risk, or so he believed..
He felt no weariness, nor did he sense any pain from his prolonged run. His legs seemed to operate independently, propelling him further away. However, the anguish in his heart persisted, gnawing at him. The internal fatigue intensified as he realized that these painful emotions would not relent—in fact, they only deepened as he noticed the elder gaining on him from behind, outpacing him before he was abruptly seized by the arm and yanked to the ground.
—..He felt no pain, no throbbing from the injury that marred his arm; even the dull ache was a mere whisper compared to the torment that gnawed at his heart. The child lay still on the ground, a pitiful figure drained of all strength, unable to summon the will to rise. What was the use? He had long since realized that this battle was futile—that his choices had always been insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Tears streamed down his cheeks, soaking into the cool earth beneath him, as he began to weep, his voice barely a whisper in the stillness.
"Mother... I am sorry.."
As the child sobbed, yearning to call out for his mother, he was painfully aware of the fate that had taken her from him. And he knew that all of it was all his fault, and his alone—-
".. please save me.. big brother.." Without getting up, he weakly retrieved the crudely carved flute from his pocket, bringing it to his lips. With trembling hands, he filled the air with discordant notes. Closing his eyes, he clung to the hope of being rescued by his brother, shielded from all this harshness of this world in the warmth of his embrace.
Breaking the silence of the stillness of the atmosphere, a frog leaped onto the man's palm. With its large eyes and playful grin, it produced an astonishing sound—with its raspy voice, it declared,
"FROG 🐸"
Yoriichi's eyes widened with a slight shock—a frog blessed with an ability to speak.. It stood apart from the rest, a creature being who could speak in a world of silence. Forever marked by its difference, cast aside by a world that could not understand. Perhaps, in some way, they were not so different after all.
Why don't demons burn/feel irritated in the moonlight?
Asked by @/echantedtoon // Oh wow.. This is a very interesting perspective that I had never really thought about before xd! I pondered about this for a bit and came up with two reasonable explanations.. I couldn't decide between them, nor could I think of anything else, so you're welcome to dive into either option. And please, don’t hesitate to share any other insights or corrections you might have! <33
THEORETICAL EXPLANATION
1] So one potential explanation could be that the demons may have adapted to the limited exposure to sunlight.
2] Alternatively, as you suggested, the demons might actually be feeling irritated from the sunlight reflecting off the moon.[And although this is not explicitly mentioned in the manga itself, it is pretty reasonable to speculate that such a phenomenon could be occurring]
--For the irritation to affect the demons, there must be a source of that discomfort, implying that the moonlight could be causing them minor harm, albeit with their regeneration occurring rapidly enough to counteract it.
Also, a repeated trauma to their bodies like this must actually constantly hinder their healing process, albeit temporarily. This also indirectly suggests that moonlight has varying effects on demons based on their strength—the stronger ones have greater immunity, while weaker ones not so much, which would result in their weaker and slower regeneration, as most of the energy is spent on already regenerating the damage caused by the moon.
[Also, the fact that even the moon seems to work out of favor against demons just truly shows how much they're completely out of bounds with nature.. lol]
But again, these are demons we are talking about—their inherent strength and regenerative capabilities might only be the result of Muzan's blood rather than the moonlight itself. Nonetheless, it is a fascinating concept to ponder.
A MORE PRACTICAL EXPLANATION
Shifting our focus away from the demons for a moment, let's consider the roles of sunlight and moonlight:
▪︎All of the energy emitted by the Sun that reaches our planet is in the form of solar radiation, consisting of visible light, ultraviolet light, infrared radiation, radio waves, X-rays, and gamma rays. Radiation is one way to transfer heat. Among these, we know UV rays are the ones that cause us sunburns.
[Though, unlike UV rays, it is the infrared energy that actually provides all the 'heat' energy, and we can also see that the demons might be literally burning in the sun, one could also assume it might be more because of the thermal radiation. However, since we already know that demons are not susceptible to death from heat, this notion can be disregarded.]
Now if we consider the moon, we would need to know the extent of sunlight it actually reflects. This reflection is influenced by the angle formed between the Earth, Moon, and Sun. During the first and last quarters, the moon is only partially illuminated, while a full moon is fully lit, allowing it to be visible even in the early morning daylight.
In fact, the moon reflects not only sunlight but also light from the Earth, known as Earthshine. This indirect sunlight bounces off the Earth's surface and clouds, and some of it is reflected back to Earth by the moon, creating a subtle glow referred to as the moon's ashen glow.
▪︎Ultimately though, at this stage all we need to know is that the maximum amount of light reflected from the moon that reaches Earth at night is approximately 12%.
The full moon has a magnitude of -12.6, whereas the sun's brightness is approximately -26.7.
This indicates that:-26.7-(-12.6)= 14.1 magnitude
This means the sun is 14.1 magnitudes brighter than the moon.
The apparent scale of this magnitude operates logarithmically, where a difference of 1 magnitude corresponds to a brightness factor of 2.512.
With this, we can conclude that the sun is about 400,000 times brighter than the moon.
For comparison: This is like comparing the exposure of radiation absorbed by the Chernobyl residents who were relocated, which is about 350 mSv, to the radiation being emitted by your everyday banana [10 μSv].
Yeah.. there's no wonder why demons don't disintegrate in the moonlight.
KOKUSHIBŌ
As for Kokushibou, I personally believe that the intensity of moonlight or its phases does not influence his power? I mean, I can't really think of any correlation between him and the moon aside from the symbolic aspects..
For instance, Yoriichi uses sun breathing, but his strength is more or less the same regardless of whether the sun is out or not. I think the same must apply for the upper one.. However, I welcome any additional insights you may have!!
❛ you've been my best friend for years, what made you think it would change now? ❜
❛ i'm always here for you if you need me. ❜
❛ well, that's what friends are for. ❜
❛ remember, i'm always just one call away. ❜
❛ how long have we known each other now? i know you better than you know yourself. ❜
❛ you're an idiot most of the time, but you're my idiot. ❜
❛ do you want to come over and watch movies tonight? i could use some company. ❜
❛ you always know how to cheer me up. ❜
❛ i made you your favorite food. ❜
❛ i know it's 2 a.m. but i really need someone to talk to. are you awake? ❜
❛ remember when we used to build blanket forts? let's do it again. ❜
❛ please come to this family dinner with me. my family already loves you and i need some neutral person there with me. ❜
❛ here, i got you something. i saw it at the shop and it reminded me of you. ❜
❛ do you remember that promise we made to each other when we were kids? ❜
❛ i'm so grateful to have you in my life. you mean the world to me. ❜
❛ i don't need advice right now, just a friend to listen. ❜
❛ you're the best friend one could ever ask for. ❜
❛ hey, umm ... thank you for being my friend. ❜
❛ you don't have to go through this alone. i'm here for you. ❜
❛ want to grab a coffee and catch up? ❜
❛ we may not talk every day anymore, but i still consider you my friend. ❜
❛ i can stay and help you finish this if you want. ❜
❛ you've got this. i believe in you! ❜
❛ how about we plan a game night this weekend? ❜
❛ do you ever wonder what our lives will be like in ten years? ❜
❛ no matter what happens, you'll always have me. ❜
❛ you don't have to pretend with me. i like you just the way you are. ❜
❛ consider it ... a little friendly competition. ❜
❛ thank you, you always know how to make me laugh. ❜
❛ i can't believe how far we've come together. ❜
❛ just stay put, i'll be over in a minute. ❜
❛ i've got us tickets for that concert/movies/exhibition you wanted to go to. ❜
❛ how about a road trip? just like old times ... ❜
❛ i really appreciate you staying in my life all these years. ❜
❛ i don't know what i'd do without you. ❜
❛ you can tell me if something is bothering you. ❜
❛ race you to the end of the street! ❜
❛ bet you can't beat me at this game. i'm a pro. ❜
❛ i challenge you to a cooking contest. loser has to buy dinner for the next week. ❜
❛ you've been such a great friend, and i just wanted to say thanks. ❜
The man observed the mare gazing at him, her eyes reflecting both hope and a hint of skepticism. He was not particularly taken aback by her expression, however. In these lands, there were those who believed that demons were mere figments of imagination, let alone the existence of demon hunters.
And even so, he knew that it had now become nothing more than a myth—they had suffered a significant defeat at the hands of the demon king, compounded by a series of unforeseen events with the slayers falling dead and him being kicked out. All of this played into the demon's advantage.. And he knew if such events persisted, this world would eventually succumb to darkness—there would be nothing left in this world, only a hollow shell of what it once was, much like the village they had just passed.
He—no... they needed to do something.
The man lowered his head in appreciation. It would have been wiser for them both to just move past the aching memories; there was no reason to dwell on those thoughts any longer. The thoughts of failure—knowing that you could have done much more. knowing that he.. just merely stood there questioning the demon lord without ever launching the final blow...
The man looked at the mare, whose eyes sparkled with a hope that felt achingly familiar—it was something he started to cherish.
Both of them had suffered at the hands of those creatures, their lives irrevocably altered. It seemed only fitting that they should be the ones to bring an end to the torment.
The man surveyed the devastation around him—the carnage, torn garments, shattered houses; everything lay in ruins. It was a sight unlike anything even he had ever witnessed before. He had come across the news of humans disappearing, many families falling victim to these creatures, but this? This was sheer savagery. The scale of destruction was immense, and the loss of so many precious lives at the hands of these mindless monsters left a deep ache in his heart. So many innocent lives—each one once vibrant—had been devoured and obliterated by those fiends as if they never truly mattered.
Lost in his thoughts, the man had nearly overlooked everything else around him, aside from the mare beside him. It was only when she had signaled that he turned his attention to a nearby bush, where he noticed a small figure huddled in the shadows, concealed beneath the rubble of a collapsed house. He observed the mare gently nudging the figure, who just as quickly recoiled in fear.
The man quickly nods and hurries toward the child. Despite his robust physique, the large pieces of debris from the house appeared too heavy for him to lift. However, with surprising ease, he removed the broken fragments as if the house was made with nothing but thermocol. Within a minute, he had cleared away all the rubble and knelt down to the child's level.
"He has a significant injury on his leg, in addition to some minor cuts and a fracture," the man remarked, glancing at the mare to see if she had any insight on how to handle the situation.
With a nod, he said, "I am not sure where the village is. If it's not too much trouble.. could you guide me there?"
Kokushibo's eyes narrowed slightly, his gaze still fixed on the horizon. He knew not what to say, for the reasons behind his choices were as murky as the waters of the Sanzu River. He had sought power to protect, to conquer, to live up to the name their father had bestowed upon him—but somewhere along the way, he had lost sight of what truly mattered. The demon within had taken hold, turning his once noble intentions into a quest for dominance.
He had become the very monster they had once hunted together, a rejection as to why he would never look upon himself, to see his reflection, he had traded honour and respect, for power and life, something that had killed him and made him into who he was here and now. He was Kokushibo, and he was the strongest demon alive. Even stronger than the demon king himself, but those thoughts never lingered for too long.
“These are hollow words.” His fangs snapped at the antics of the little one, what did it wish to do, plight him to death, try and save his mortal soul, that was gone. He has killed, so many, as a human and a demon, the weight of his sins was crushing him, but now, he was strong enough to push forward through the pain, now he was strong enough to endure anything and everything the world wished to throw at him, now he could push ahead, always without anyone ever getting in his way.
“Your dead …” He said to him, the concept of time seemingly lost to him. “The one who showed you things, died when you ran away …” He has not forgotten, his mind was his own, as Kokushibo, he cut a deal with the devil himself, he had his freedom, he had his mind, he was not a mindless monster, not a demon that lurked and feasted on the weak, women and children, he didn’t need it, his power, moon breathing, his skills and knowledge, all of that, would be enough for him always.
He was the child spirit as it waited patiently, was the hope dwindling with each passing moment. The ghost had to have known he could not change the course of destiny, nor could he shake the burdens that Kokushibo now bore. But perhaps, just perhaps, he could remind him of the warmth that once burned brightly in his heart. That was a dream and nothing more.
"My dream came true," he began, his voice shaking with rage, "You never cared about my burden, my pain. You never helped me, the path I have chosen is fraught with peril and darkness, and you left me to walk it alone a long time ago when I needed you the most."
The elder's eyes finally met his, a flicker of something akin to regret crossing his features, as the spirt would continue to speak and remind him, of there past, of better times and moments, when the world made some sort of sense. For a brief moment, the child spirit would see the brother he once knew, the one who had shared tales of valor and dreams of unity. But it was fleeting, like a shooting star vanishing into the abyss.
"Thank you," Kokushibo murmured, his voice strained. "But this is a burden I must bear alone." This was the life he had now, he had a purpose, he had to fight, he could not allow anyone to surpass him, anyone to think they are better than him, anyone to believe for a moment, they could challenge him and overcome him, he was something else now. As Kokushibo breathed out lightly and walked forward. “Get moving …” He said to him, he could remain there, or follow him, but he was heading to seek out another battle.
With those words, the chasm between them grew wider, the once unshakeable bond now a bridge that had crumbled under the weight of time and fate. The child spirit nodded solemnly, understanding the gravity of his brother's plight. He knew he could not follow him down that path, nor could he save him from the darkness that engulfed him. As he would walk forward, Kokushibo had places to be, humans to kill, even demons as well that got in his way, he only cared now about himself and his power, everyone else, meant nothing to him.
Divided by the choices they had made, he sensed the child spirit felt a semblance of peace. For in that brief exchange, he had seen the humanity that still dwelled within his demon brother, the flicker of light that had not yet been extinguished by the all-consuming flames of power. It was there, something, that not even Kokushibo could deny, that as much as he wished to tell himself the truth, there was still some good, a piece of who he was, buried deep down inside of himself, buried under the pain, the guilt, the anger and above all else, the fear he had, but as long as he continued, to kill, hunt and feast on the strong, he would be able to deny the choices he had made and embrace the power he had been rewarded for his service to the demon king.
The gentle breeze ruffled the boy's unkempt hair as he gazed at the landscape around him. Having spent most of his life confined to a small room, he was largely oblivious to the world outside. Yet now, standing amidst this vast land, all of it just felt so.. surreal—so tempting and liberating—he just felt like running off into the abyss, unknown of what else was to come—basking in the newfound freedom he had longed for.
Yet, amidst the beauty, the discomfort he felt near the elder was palpable, but he had grown used to it now. The ugly feelings that resided within him were something he had become adept at hiding. He excelled at suppressing these ugly feelings, especially in the comfort of knowing that he had his brother by his side.
The child inhaled sharply, startled by his brother's sudden outburst. His eyes widened, revealing a flicker of emotion that had long been buried. But just as quickly, the moment passed; he quieted down, hanging his head low, his expression returning to its usual mask of stoicism. His gaze drifted to the side, where a delicate flower bloomed, capturing his gaze completely as he sought a fragile comfort in its presence, striving to remain indifferent to his brother's remarks.
"No.. I am dreaming.." The child spoke out, disregarding the elder's words completely. He persisted, unfazed by the elder's efforts to anchor him in reality. His expression remained indifferent and foreboding as he continued.
"And I will wake up soon.. because I do not like this dream.." He confessed. Just a few moments ago, he had settled into bed, yet to be sent to the temple. The last thing he remembered before drifting off was his brother bidding him goodnight, right after they had gazed at the stars together, just as they were now. All of this—it had to be a dream.. it had to be a remnant of the game they had played a week ago, when they both had pretended to be ghosts and daimyos—
He remembers his brother—taking the lead, being a powerful daimyo—it was, after all, his dream to be as strong as one, clutching the shinai as Yoriichi haunted him—and this nightmare was nothing but an extension of that memory..
"I am glad.. Now you must be able to defeat all the evil.. ghosts—" he lingered off, catching himself before continuing the sentence, realizing the implications of his wordings in this situation. He was uncertain if the elder even remembered the game they once played. Just as this thought crossed the child's mind, it was abruptly disrupted by an ever harsher voice yet again-—
The child flinched at the abrupt shouting. What...? For the first time, Yoriichi sensed the emotions threatening to resurface. The anguish that had lingered in his heart since he was an infant began to intensify. All those hurtful words spilling from Michikatsu's lips—he could not answer him further, nor could he meet his gaze or focus on his surroundings, as none would ease the gnawing ache clutching at his heart. All he could do was cling to the hope—
The hope that he would awaken from this nightmare once and for all.
With his head hung low, he made a physical effort to suppress the tears as he quietly trailed behind. A voice deep within urged him to stop—to just turn around and run from it all. Yet, despite everything, he pressed on. He was unsure of the reason. Perhaps... he longed for his brother's comforting words, reminiscent of the past. Or maybe he just wanted to discover that his elder brother still held some affection for him. Conflicting and perplexing thoughts swirled in his mind, but none of that mattered— for he simply continued to follow.
That bird nurturing its chicks—a familiar figure emerging in his thoughts. This was all he had ever known—that Michikatsu was his true provider, his caretaker, his idol. Yet, those once-treasured memories began to echo with cold and unsettling phrases that started to take root in his consciousness—-
"Pitiful … you always … were pitiful"
what it could have been—the two brothers who had cared for each other so dearly—how even fate had pitted them against each other, yet still their bond remained filled with love.
“I am a demon now.."
How, despite everything, they continued to play. The elder would introduce him to new experiences each day, attempting to lift his spirits, even though the younger one struggled to respond in kind. Was that the source of the elder's frustration?
"The one who showed you things, died"
But what could he have done? Locked in a confining room where he didn't even get proper food... If the situation truly troubled him, why not harbor the same resentment as everyone else..
"You never cared about me"
He had hoped that maybe once they had grown, then the younger would have done something. He had vowed to become a samurai by his side and to serve him faithfully. Together, they both would live in a big castle together and be the strongest duo.
"nor have I ever cared about you"
Then suddenly, within a fraction of a second, the child started dashing away, eyes brimming with tears, as he tried escaping from it all—his brother, that monster.. from the pain, from his thoughts. Yet, the emotions only tightened their grip on his heart. All of this... was his fault—he was nothing but a burden in this world, as if he had no rightful place here—even his own thoughts had turned against him. Nothing mattered anymore, nothing at all. Only a single thought echoed in his mind-—
Running off into the unknown, he only hoped for this nightmare to end.