gin and catatonic

A twenty-something whose biggest hobby is spiraling out of control.

[ginandcat-blog]

Realizing Everyone Is As Fucked Up and Miserable As I Am

I'm coming to realize that almost everyone is just as fucked up and miserable as I am. The difference between people is how well they conceal it. We all put on this facade that we have it together. That we are living the dream. That we are in or at least striving for our dream career. That we are happy with our love lives. That we get along perfectly with our families. That we have a feeling of self-worth. Etcetera. Let's be honest. In reality, we're all just as anxious and discombobulated as the next person.

I think there's a stigma about being a confused and lost person. It comes with negative territory from society when it's really just part of the human condition. I think people of any age have a right to be lost but especially people in their 20's. I have a soft spot for colossal mess of human beings who are in their twenties. Mostly because I am one, but still. Think about it. We're expected to pick our career during high school, attend college for said career, and then start said career immediately out of college. Additionally, we are also expected to date, fall in love, hook up, and basically experience other people so that we can discover ourselves. On top of all of that, we have to maintain jobs so we don't die as well maintain as our health so we also don't die. And, we have to be AWESOME at all of this.  Right.

That's a lot to do.  Living is a lot do.

I'm doing all of the above to moderate success, but I'm also about to jump off a cliff. Am I thankful and happy about the good things going on in my life? Of course, but that also doesn't change the not-so-pretty aspects. 

My point in writing all of this is: why are we hiding the shitty aspects of our lives from others? Isn't that the point of life? To experience the good and bad? To share said experiences with the people we love? I think if people confided in each other about how shitty our lives are, we would:

Realize we have a lot in common with most people.

Become better friends with people.

Positively vent out negative feelings.

No, that wouldn't make you a Debbie Downer.  It would make you a human. I think most of us need a lesson in how to be human.

So let other people see your true, shitty colors.

[ginandcat-blog]

How have you been managing to get out of the slump that you said you were in? I read your bio and I know what it was like to transition out of college. Im even more curious, as a feminist, what is your opinion of the Hook up culture in dating today. Again, crazy topics, but i was intrigued by your bio.

Good questions; thank you for asking!  As for getting out of the slump, I don’t have a good answer. I think time is the best healer. I still barely know what I’m doing when it comes to general life and decision-making. I don’t really know how to get out of slumps because I’m so good at being in them. Honest answer. Time will give you experience and said experience will lead you in the right direction, I believe. So that’s my mantra right now. I’m also moving across the country in a few months.  I think that will FORCE me to transition out of college and into the “real world”. Haha.

I’m obviously a sex-positive feminist and am a supporter for the hook-up culture. There’s nothing wrong with a woman taking control of her body and using it in the way that she wants. As humans, we have complete freedom on who we get to sleep with. I am exercising that right. Not only that, but hooking up is fun, liberating, adventurous, and builds character. I’m all for that.  I really hate the whole slut-shaming idea. There’s nothing wrong with being a “slut”. Just don’t get pregnant or contract any diseases.  :)

[ginandcat-blog]

My Mom's Most Recent Google Searches:

-Golden Corral coupons

-Enormous Main Coon cats

-How did Jesus actually die?

-Did the Jews really kill Jesus?

-Jews for Jesus

-How to immediately post this new-found information to Facebook

-Valentine cards to repair loveless marriage

[ginandcat-blog]

COOL PARTY GAMES :)

I'm pretty notorious in my circle of friends of inventing the best party games. These may be played sober or drunk.  :-)

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Who Has The Biggest Nips?!

This is a really fun game to play with your slutty friends.  Basically, the rules are simple.  You go around the room flashing people incessantly. Then, the recipient flashes you.  You two compare nipples and decide who's is bigger.  That person wins.  It's that simple!  Repeat with everyone else in the room.  The overall winner accomplishes a sense of pride and a higher chance of getting laid.  :)

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Guess Which Side Was The Butt!

This is a great ice-breaker game especially if you have some shy folks in the crowd.  Everyone takes off their underwear.  The logistics of this aren't important.  All players sit in a circle.  Everyone should throw their removed underpants into the middle.  One person at a time will pick a random underwear. Now, all they do is smell and guess "which side was the butt". Super easy and fun!  :) :)  Long-lasting friendships guaranteed.  :)

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Guess Which Side Was The Butt! - ADVANCED

Assume you and your friends have gotten really good at this game.  I have made three levels of difficulty.

Easy:

Moderate:

Difficult:

[ginandcat-blog]

I've Spent 97% of My Life Being Single

I literally used a calculator to figure that out.  

I've only been on two first dates ever.  Here's the story of the first one.

Jesus.

I will admit to checking Craigslist's "missed connections", like, twice incessantly for 10 months to no avail.  But I digress...

I talked to a few people here and there through OkCupid.  I was active on the site for a couple of months.  However, I only went on ONE date. Nevermind the fact that I still didn't know how to date EVEN ON THE INTERNET. 

Okay, so the date.  He initiated it - thank God.  We meet up for coffee. He's not really my type averagely attractive, but at that moment in my life, I was as desperate as a middle-aged man trying not to get an erection during his prostate exam.  Things are going mediocre, at best. We're making small talk...for, like, two hours.  It was actually fucking awful, and I didn't know how to leave.  

Things got really weird when he told me that he sees things.  I have family members who are psychic and see demons, so okay fine.  I coincidentally am sitting next to a piece of wall art that was probably bought at Big Lots on clearance.  It's just your average landscape photo:

He nonchalantly tells me how he sees swirly colors with a skull sticking out of the photo:

He continues on for about six minutes while I smile and nod and wonder if he realizes I'm uncomfortable.  I, personally, saw a desert portrait.  

He clearly had a mental disorder.

This, in combination with his already undeniable social awkwardness, causes me to mumble that it's getting late and that I should go.  He says he'll call me. We awkwardly hug goodbye, and I sprint to my car unashamedly doing the Sign of the Cross.  

I come home, mutter to myself "welp, I guess it's back to the grind", and immediately start browsing the dating website of doom.  

And that sums up 50% of my first dates.

[ginandcat-blog]

I Learned What A Period Was After the 2nd Time I Got One

One day I noticed an ocean of blood in my underwear.  I was in 6th grade.  

No one bothered to tell me what a period was.  My mom is an awful communicator, and obviously would rather not discuss awkward subjects like that.  Also, sex education is not a thing in the state I grew up in.  So I literally just didn't know what a period was.

The first time I got my period, I was mortified and dragged my mom into the bathroom.  I tell her what's up.  The conversation went a little something like this:

Me: Um...there's blood on my underwear, so...

Mom:  Oh.  I guess you started your period.  Here are some maxi pads.

Me:  Okay.  Thanks.

Mind you, I was not taught how to use a maxi pad.  Also, this was in 2002 so pads were thick and annoying to wear.  They didn't make them all thin like they do today.  Wearing a pad back then was like walking around with a teddy bear underneath your naughty bits.  

You can probably gather that I didn't know how to use a tampon either. There were a few instances where I'd sneak into my mom's bathroom, steal a tampon, and try to pop that sucker in.  

I didn't know what I was doing.

One hundred percent of the time I would not put it in far enough. Thus, it was, quite literally, sticking half way out.  I'm not sure you understand how painful and miserable that is.  Even worse was that I'd try to go about my day with this dreadful situation going on in my underpants.

As if being a dangerously hairy 6th grader wasn't inconvenient enough.

So I used pads for years until I became brave enough to try tampons again when I was 21.  TWENTY ONE YEARS OLD and I still didn't know how to use a tampon.

Anyways, so for whatever reason, my 12-year old brain thought a lady only gets her period twice in her life.  Again, NO ONE EVER TOLD ME WHAT A PERIOD WAS OR WHY THEY HAPPENED.  So the next month after my first uterus shedding, I drag my mom back into the bathroom.

Me:  So...I'm bleeding again...

Mom:  Yeah.  You're gonna get that every month.

Me:  *stupefied*

Education, y'all.  It's great.

[ginandcat-blog]

THINGS NOT TO NAME A BABY

Aside from seeing everyone I know/hate on Facebook having kids, what I loathe even more is the god-awful names they choose.

Unacceptable names for your new son:

Just fucking call your kid David instead of Dave.