Girl With Spots

Just some funny things I found on the internet.

[lilnasxvevo]

It’s really not a “gen z are funnier than millennials” thing it’s just that high schoolers are consistently the funniest people alive no matter what year it is

[dankmemeuniversity]

[hayleyhearts]

that’s just a regular platypus???

[friendlyoceanmower]

[thegreenpea]

PERRY THE PLATYPUS ?!?!

[cwote]

Don’t forget that you are human. It’s okay to have a meltdown, just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you’re headed.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[lochnessmorgan]

I love how making of Sense8 is actually much simpler than I thought.

[taco-bellamy]

Here’s some more bc why not:

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Figuring out when I can fit in getting and recovering from a top surgery into my life and also paying for it

[maplestreett-deactivated2020080]

NASA stands for Not Any Straights Allowed. none

[irlbr4t]

How about we don’t be discriminatory to people based on their sexuality ??

[maplestreett-deactivated2020080]

good idea let’s start with gay people tho

[kelgrid]

I’m at my dog sitting job in a pretty old countryside farm and the lady who does the cleaning up here told me this morning that there are old tunnels (now closed up) running from the house to the church (1km) and I did not want to know that

[kelgrid]

Imagine what could come from there? Ghouls, ghosts, vampires?

[kelgrid]

[veinitas]

me when i see a cat: CAT! cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat

[lurknomoar-deactivated20151109]

Fun fact: when I see cute animals, I forget English and automatically revert to my native Hungarian. I don’t know what bystanders make of me, reciting guttural gibberish to rabbits.

[quizzicalqueek]

But the real question is, what are you SAYING to the rabbits? Is it ‘RABBIT! rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit bunny bunny bunny awww cute bunnyyyyy’?

[lurknomoar-deactivated20151109]

Well, I usually say the Hungarian equivalent of ‘bun bun bun lil bun look at your tiny spoon-shaped ears awww bun brave little lawnmower bun’, but sometimes I say ‘hey rabbits, my sister’s gonna go to med school’ because I think everyone should know.

[littlegaywitch]

I live in Japan, and I always revert to English to talk to small animals, and I was cooing at this tiny little fluff machine of a puppy in baby english like “hello you’re so cute such a cute hello hello yess you’re good” and the 70 year old Japanese lady that was walking him started to *translate the baby talk english into Japanese* for her pup. She wanted to be sure he understood it too.

[sindri42]

https://xkcd.com/231/

[wind-voice]

ACCURATE.

[eileenthedeafdog]

I was at a pet store with Eileen. A woman walked up to us and asked if she could pet her. Eileen’s collar has ‘Deaf Dog’ embroidered on it. The lady asked about it, I confirmed, yes, she’s deaf. The lady immediately switched to American Sign Language and asked her how was her day, was she being a good girl, she’s so pretty. Eileen is wagging her tail excitedly, knowing that someone is talking to her.

[fhawne-deactivated20221006]

so january is almost over huh? what’s next? february? give me a break

[fh3207972]

being pregnant sounds terrible and i am not interested

[weloveshortvideos]

Well, that is one way to pass the time during a rain delay

[danthemedicman]

This is the quality content I live for

[mens-rights-activia]

This short moment is more entertaining than the entire game of baseball

[justsomeantifas]

it’s wild that people think k-12 schools could actually teach you how to do your taxes when they fucking change literally every single year which is why when you have money you generally pay someone to do them for you?

otherwise you just go on turbotax or something which also varies so greatly between people and the change of times that telling you to go to turbotax could be a grave mistake??? depending on your income or what decade it is.

teachers dont even know how to do their own fucking taxes they get software or pay people for it. taxes are intentionally so convoluted theres no way our piece of shit education system could teach yall how to do it

especially when folks crying about being incapable of doing their taxes also are here whining about learning basic algebra which shocker you need to know in order to do your taxes ... hell you need calculus to do your taxes

you need a shitton of math and financial knowledge and legal knowledge to do taxes to a point where people get degrees and yearly certifications to do them.

[justsomeantifas]

basically idk how some of yall think our garbage public education system could teach you to navigate shit that takes masters degrees worth of knowledge and regular recertifications every single year to do

... when yall think learning algebra wont help you because our school system cant even teach you that adequately.

[langblr-o-kebek]

I am a tax economist and I cant do my own taxes. People ask me to do their taxes, I cant help. Every year i use software and i think I've done it right, i only have simple returns to do (employment income from 1 source, basic credits/deductibles nothing fancy) AND YET I get mail from the Revenue Agency every year saying "yeah you did it wrong it should look like this," and this is in Canada where the tax code is way simpler than in the US! I am a tax economist and my mom still does my US taxes because I can't figure that shit out.

The dumbest thing is, the government (US, Canada, any major developed government) has all the information it needs to treat taxes for 95% of the population because 95% of us have what we refer to as simple returns. Some countries have gotten keen and will mail out prefiled tax declarations- basically sheets of paper with all of your tax information i.e. this is how much the government has recorded you've earned, this much has been deducted from paychecks for state taxes etc, therefore we have calculated that you owe xxx$. And if the info is correct you do nothing and if its incorrect you fix it and mail it back. This hasn't taken off in the US because of lobbyists. They want taxes to be complicated, if taxes are complicated then you hate them. If you hate them, you won't vote for tax increases and will lean towards conservative fiscal policy. All this despite the fact that over time these prefiled declarations save money in administration costs, increase government revenue from having more returns and fewer mistakes, and help prevent tax evasion. They can even increase tax returns. But we dont have it because of conservative lobbyists. Great.

[lordmeowdemort]

Hello my baby hello my honey hello darkness my old friend

[purplethebunny]

How dare you make me hear this with my own internal monologue.

[ghostbustinggays]

*french tucks pajama shirt into sweatpants* for tan france

[whitepeopletwitter]

[bigspender]

me: *overestimates the length of a yellow light and completely 100% runs a red light* me while driving away: I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I