who

[stolentweets]

[wheresanegg-blog]

old iOS looks like how dj got us fallin’ in love by usher sounds

[renegalien-deactivated20210515]

i literally hate language, i hate that you can just say shit like this and it actually makes sense

[ivare-enim-euge]

[irishfolklore-deactivated201912]

I love being in college because there are no actual adults around so everyone is just going around bullshitting their way through basic tasks. Like I can be like “I think I got better from my cold because I ate an orange yesterday” and everyone is like “Yeah makes sense” and somebody could just be like “I’m gonna put my pillow in the washing machine to clean it” and everyone’s like “Sounds like a great idea John”

[dollargenesis]

when i die

me: wassup bro lol god: 7 HOUR compilation video of you hitting curbs while driving (VERY FUNNY)

[deaddolin]

wtf is this im so fucking scared

[hollowtones]

Fifteen hours remain.

[useless-irelandfacts]

who wore it better: irishman accidentally protesting  against heterosexual marriages vs Donald Trump seemingly opposing childbirth

[theclearlydope]

[thepacificrimjob-deactivated201]

sorry guys i tripped

[afloweroutofstone]

“Russia is European” “No, Russia is in Asia”

Have you considered: there is literally nothing justifying Europe and Asia being two different continents in the first place 

[afloweroutofstone]

You’re right, I forgot that we arranged our continents by mountain ranges, I had to look at my world map again

[autumnal-palinode-deactivated20]

did you make this just to be petty

[afloweroutofstone]

Everything I have ever done has had being petty as the goal

[whitegirlsaintshit]

[trashboat]

why is he sitting like a 14th century monarch

[slab-o-meat]

he is one

[lagonegirl]

“That’s just how I am lol” NAH. That’s a character flaw. Work on it. Fix it. Grow.

[clish-moved-deactivated20210119]

thank you, Russian Spy Agent

[butchflirt]

Putin is really looking out for our personal growth and development huh

[is-sinnoh-confirmed-yet]

okay but why the fuck do you black out when all you pokemon faint?

[nationalharmonica]

cause im sad

[waluigi-in-clownworld]

Say it with me kids

Words are not oppressive. It’s your choice to be offended by them & give them power. Stop being a pussy.

[cremia-deactivated20210626]

oh lets listen to the guy pretending to be waluigi on the internet they seem to clearly be rational and smart, much like i know waluigi to be

[waluigi-in-clownworld]

Yeah me having a waluigi themed account clearly negates my ability to have a fucking valid opinion. Ok.

[rileyaurelia]

You shouldn’t have let his words have the power to upset you, Waluigi

[dekutree]

mood: the mexican dude who told judge judy “this is your show but this is my episode”

[belzebunnies]

me at god

[lagonegirl]

me: i really need to talk this out with someone 

my anxiety: ur coming off needy. isolate urself and handle it. all u need is U!

[pon-raul]

this is one of the Russian Chaos Agents tumblr banned lmao

[butchflirt]

Nefarious Russian plot to make relatable text posts on tumblr dot com

[loismacgiver-deactivated2018061]

[radiotroph-deactivated20180625]

one of my favorite weird history moments has got to be when american agents tasked with nixon’s security while he was in the soviet union as vice president under eisenhower detected unusual amounts of radiation in his hotel room so they discussed it loudly to each other to make sure the soviets knew that they knew since there were obviously bugs everywhere and the next day it just mysteriously went away and they never learned any more about it

[radiotroph-deactivated20180625]

life during the cold war was just whatever

[tyrannosaurus-rex]

The Soviets: What if we irradiated Nixon to try and give him radiation poisoning

Secret Service Agents the room over: WOW NIXONS ROOM SURE IS RADIOACTIVE! I SURE HOPE WE CAN FIGURE OUT WHERE ALL THIS RADIATION IS COMING FROM. THE RADIATION IN NIXON’S ROOM THAT IS. THE ONE WE’RE MONITORING SO CLOSELY WE EVEN BOTHERED TO TEST FOR RADIATION LEVELS.

The Soviets: fuck shit abort theyre onto us abort