@givenchydon - Tumblr Blog

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too.

martinawrites

this need to be on everyone’s blog

sleepybambi

this makes me think..

janoskipornhub-deactivated20150

God bless whoever wrote this.

ioanaslovesongs

im crying

phanscuddles

I never usually reblog things like this.. but if it saves just one persons life… please take thime to read this even if you think there is no point in living. Please.

bisexual-dodie-yellow-deactivat

this made me sad, not because it was about suicide but because I thought about all of my family and friends and that would probs happen if I ever felt so bad that I did that to myself

i’ve lost the things that were most precious to me

moisemorancy-deactivated2022061

This the one.

lickmetilllicecreammmm

Mannnn……and it was the live you so freely gave to any and everyone else my nigga

I just want to be wanted

wu-tangz

Cowboy Bebop x Sade- smooth operator

No need to ask,He’s a smooth operator

newyorkbyjarule

Yesterday was #nationalgirlfriendday 💌

eri112

Eri112’s money saving tips.

So, did you reblog this money saving challenge last January?

I did.

I remember thinking that it would never work. I remember thinking it would be too hard. I remember thinking HOW CAN I HAVE CASH IN MY ROOM AND NOT SPEND IT??

I just counted and it turns out I saved more than this person calculated.

I saved $1500 in cash. In one year. In a Mason jar.

If you had told me last year that I could do this, I never would have believed you. I have never been a financially secure person. This activity taught me so much about myself as a spender.

Here’s how I did it.

For those who have never seen this, the basic concept is that you print out this (or google 52 week money challenge…You can find many variations on this)…So the first week, you put in $1, second week is $2, third week is $3, etc. The final week of the year, you’ll put in $52. There are 52 weeks in a year. See how that works?

As I said, though. I somehow ended up with more. I’m not sure how that happened. Let me tell you how I managed to save money period.

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND, I AM NOT A FINANCIAL PROFESSIONAL. FOLLOW THESE TIPS WITH CAUTION. I CANNOT GUARANTEE THEY WILL WORK FOR EVERYONE.

1. Create your own payday. I have 2 jobs. One is my full time job that pays every two weeks on Thursday. The other is a part time job that pays every week on Wednesday. So, usually by Thursday, I have all the money I’m going to make that week. So, I made Thursday my pay day. Every Thursday, I made sure to put in the amount I was supposed to for that week.

2. Use small bills. This was CRITICAL to saving money for me. If I didn’t have the cash I needed, I would swing through the ATM and then ask a family member to trade a $20 bill for $1 bills. I put in the required money and then hid all of the other ones under the jar. That way, in future weeks I would have the ones I needed to make a payment.

3. Hide the jar in plain sight. I kept the jar in my room, but it was hidden. This way, I wasn’t tempted to spend it. I have 3 jars in my room. One is my “happy memories” jar where I right down all the good things that happen to me. Then I have my savings jar. I also have a jar for paying myself to work out. (Any time I work out, I pay myself a dollar. I use this money for fun stuff like going to the movies) In order to remember my savings jar and hide it at the same time, I put it directly behind my happy memories jar. That way, I could see the jars, but I couldn’t see the money inside.

4. Pack the money tight! It took my father a good five minutes to help me figure out how to get all of those bills out of that jar. This was quite fun to watch (“HEY DAD! I’m giving you $1400 in a jar! Help me get it out!”) and quite difficult to do. This is because I packed every inch of that jar. Having the money packed in tightly made it really difficult to take money out. The harder it was to take money out, the less I wanted to. I’m quite lazy.

5. Don’t be afraid to borrow, but write it down and pay yourself back in two days. I’ll admit, there were a few occasions where I needed to borrow some money from the jar. I never took more than $20. I also forced myself to pay it back in two days. Now that I think about it, I remember there was one time I borrowed and charged myself interest because I didn’t follow this rule…

Now, as I mentioned, my father is the recipient of this large stack of cash. He was incredibly proud of me, but this lead to a conversation of how I could put away money that could earn some money. He also suggested ways to get out of debt. So here is what he suggested.

1. Open a mutual fund with a high/mildly aggressive interest rate. A mutual fund is an account that you deposit a set amount every month. I’ll be opening one later this week. We found one that earns 13% interest. We agreed that I will put away $50 a month for 5 years. Please note that these accounts will charge a fee if you withdrawal from them. We did the math. If I put away $50 a month for 5 years, I will have deposited $3000. With a 13% interest rate, I will have $4394 by the end of those 5 years. That’s correct. The bank will pay me $1394 just for using their mutual fund.

2. Snowball your debt. I also have acquired a lot of debt over the years. I won’t lie. I love to shop. I have credit cards for every store, including amazon and LLBean (in NH, that’s a big deal). When I receive my bills this month, he and I are going to sit down and compare them all. We’ll be looking at total amounts due as well as the interest rate. Then, I will pay in full anything that I can. That way, I won’t continue to be charged interest on small amounts. Then figure out how much money I can send to the bigger bills. Once you know who has the highest interest rate, you can figure out how to divide that money. You pay the most money to the highest interest rate. On the others, you pay the minimum balance. This way, you can put more money towards the bill that you lose the most money on.

Some advice from my rich sister:

Find a way to earn money when you shop or waste time online.

My sister and I use many different apps for saving money on groceries or shopping. Message me if you’re interested and I can send you my sign up links.

I also use many different websites for earning money online. Check them out:

Bing: Without using it for every search I do, I’ve managed to earn $10 in Starbucks gifts card through Bing. I’m 54% away from my $5 gift card. All you have to do is search for 30 things through Bing. It can be random (I’ve searched my name a hundred times) and they suggest different stories for you to search. You don’t have to click on any of the search results. Just search. There are other ways to earn with Bing, but searching is the easiest. Check it out at Bing Rewards and start earning your gift cards now.

Treasure Trooper: I’ve also been on Treasure Trooper which I originally discovered through another Tumblr user (Thanks Diana!.) I’ve been using it for a little under a year and have already earned $30. You can answer surveys, listen to music, complete tasks…It’s pretty easy. You should check it out.

Inbox Dollars might just be my favorite, though. I’ve been signed up for a little over 5 months and have already earned $46.77. They also have surveys and videos to watch. They also send you e-mails and every time you click “view e-mail” you get 0.02. That adds up.

Swagbucks is an awesome website where you can watch videos (in the background while you sit on Tumblr) and answer surveys, etc. to earn points. Then you redeem those points for gift cards. I have earned $45 Amazon gift cards. It’s so easy. I love it.

So, this is all I have to give for money advice. I can certainly answer questions. Don’t hesitate to message me. Here’s to having a little more cash to play with!

Good luck everyone!

elegantpaws

PSA

theeeprotagonist

I don’t even have $1 to save rn :(

ifididntlaughiwouldcry

I gotta do this fa real

sp00oo0ky

introvertunites

If you’re an introvert, follow us @introvertunites

My sister was killed by her boyfriend who was scared to see her move on. Love you Ewa

givenchydon

I remember being depressed, I remember having no one to turn to…luckily enough I’m a stronger person then I was then. There’s no one I can turn to but me

givenchydon

Ain’t as strong as I thought I was

extrasad

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too.

martinawrites

this need to be on everyone’s blog

sleepybambi

this makes me think..

janoskipornhub-deactivated20150

God bless whoever wrote this.

ioanaslovesongs

im crying

phanscuddles

I never usually reblog things like this.. but if it saves just one persons life… please take thime to read this even if you think there is no point in living. Please.

bisexual-dodie-yellow-deactivat

this made me sad, not because it was about suicide but because I thought about all of my family and friends and that would probs happen if I ever felt so bad that I did that to myself