THE SCARLET TERROR! @giverofcooldownhugs - Tumblr Blog

desaeviio:

[Okay, maybe saying ‘lucky’ was too hopeful. There were plenty of times Banner felt Ross was doomed in being married to her. After all, life got a thousand times harder married to the unstable scientist harboring The Hulk. But at midnight, or some other too early timeof morning, ‘lucky’ felt like the appropriate word; it certainly felt ‘lucky’ compared to the bleak end of the tunnel Banner described all too much now. That idealation never slipped into any weaker moment to Ross really. Other moments, yes, but not the closet at the base. Ross married into some bleakness, but to avoid more bleakness frankly. The relationship was a struggle, but a well meaning one. At least, that’s what the dissociated blank spaces implied.]

…You’d be safer... But I’m still glad –selfish to say it– you still chose me anyway.

[Banner left it simple. When in doubt, few words worked better than too many. Kissed her forehead, ruffled a touch of hair, smiled almost wryly but still genuine enough. It was just late, and Ross could pick out the genuine bits in it, shining through like coins in the bottom of a fountain, shimmering. To a trained eye looking for it.]

Trust me, I never can.

Safe isn’t the same as happy. I’m happy with you.

( she says it simply. she doesn’t force a smile she can’t do well this late. they’ve been together too long for ross to have to fake anything. she knows her wife knows what’s in her heart. )

More apple?

#desaeviio

desaeviio:

I’ve done that for years; it’s overrated. Now, paranoia… That spices things up. This house is built on it.

[Now, Banner tried the self-deprecating joke and charm. Anything to distract from … that previous nightmare that jolted her up.]

But I can’t be ‘cute’ sometimes? You’re…

…You’re one of the only good things I can say I still have. I’d be found hanging in a broom closet one day if you never showed up. Some underpaid janitor would have to cut me down for six dollars an hour. I got lucky. I don’t forget that. [Pausing, Banner crunched her slice down instead of lingering on that thought. It’s a shame she really had an eye on some closet at some point. A little too close of an eye on it at that base. Until a pretty girl came along and helped that one out.]

( luck never enters the equation for ross. objectively, her life was probably worse for meeting banner, for falling in love with her. the transformations, the brushes with death and the actual death, the nightmares now, all of those could, if she thought about it, be traced back to that first hello.

so she can’t be lucky. no matter how you look at it, this relationship wasn’t lucky. it was work. it was rough late nights like this, early mornings not much better, midday was still hell but they made it work. in each other, they found the strength to fight.

this love didn’t just fall out of the sky. it was built. stone by stone, attacked by tragedy and still standing, still here no matter what. death couldn’t keep them apart, couldn’t keep them from sharing apple slices and each other’s love in the face of personal demons in the dead of night.

objectively, her life was worse. but in her heart this was the only life she ever wanted. )

We’ll always have each other. I think... you and I were Always meant to have each other. There’s no me without you, you know? I wouldn’t be the person I am without you. At the very least, I wouldn’t be happy. I’d be some boring trophy wife to some military man I married to make my dad happy. We haven’t always been sunshine and butterflies but I’d be dead inside if it weren’t for meeting you.

What I’m trying to say is... being with you, Betty, has done just as much for me. Don’t you Ever forget that.

#desaeviio #v; red light.#why am i crying in the club right now.png

desaeviio:

[She rubbed her face, but grabbed her slice.]

The whole damn deck really, but… At least I got lucky with you.

( stifles a giggle. ) I’m trying to be depressed here, Betty Charmer.

#desaeviio #v; red light.

desaeviio:

I… can’t sleep.

–Yeah, I want some.

( cuts her wife a piece. )

It’s an apple. ( pause. ) We got dealt some bad cards, huh?

#desaeviio #ross summarizing both their lives & the ship #v; red light

@desaeviio

I didn’t know you were awake. Did you want some?

#desaeviio #v; red light.#i still don't have my j. connelly icons so.#it's like. the exact same verse except betty's not a hulk.#& is constantly tormented by nightmare & nightmares of a daughter she has.#(which like. she technically does bc i'm not sure if it was ever retconned. but daydream exists.)

desaeviio:

Though the lack of smile might suggest a bad day, she knew better. This was no sitcom or ”Leave It to Beaver” episode where, upon coming home, she’d be greeted by a smiling wife with a cocktail and dinner ready, but she didn’t expect that either. But from her limited school of romance via sitcom couples and more vast experience, she knew one thing– that entering without kissing her would spell certain doom for the rest of the evening. The coat was coming off, free of one arm by the time Banner planted a quick peck and wriggled off.

“Got done early.” She then gently shook a plastic bag on her forearm. “Surprise. Picked up something for dinner. The one marked ‘Extra Mild’ is yours.”

At no point did she tell her wife what her job entailed today, but it was a brief, but entirely satistifying matter of destroying an ego or two. And some intimidation. Still, this meant the first real fresh smile she could half-crack since this morning was purely for behind closed doors and for her wife. That made it every bit more special (also being able to bite into some spice to make Banner cry was a blessing too.)

A kiss on the cheek made her happier. She was already tremendously happy to begin with, but that play at normalcy they did every so often, that made her happier. Both of them got their idea of it from sitcom couples, it seemed, but that was probably preferable to copying their real life examples. Especially for Ross, who sometimes liked being alive. Whether she did or didn’t want to live depended on the day, but she would hate to be murdered by her wife.

“It doesn’t have to be extra mild. I can handle some spice.”

The food smelled nice. Not that the ‘extra mild’ container had much of a smell compared to her wife’s, but Ross wasn’t interested in dousing her mouth with milk again just because she wanted to be bold. If that were the choice, then extra mild was welcome.

“You’re lucky I didn’t make anything today,” she said, in a way that sounded like a threat. “But seriously, call next time, okay? I don’t want to cook for nothing.”

#desaeviio #sometimes emotional repression leads to bad smiles.#banner can always get a really genuine one out of her it just takes some effort.

@desaeviio

Ross smiled. Well, she tried to. It was hard when you got used to not doing that, to do that on command. It would have been true to say she was faking her smile right then. Many people often called her on that. She sometimes thought about what to do, but could never figure out how to make her smile more real. It would most likely just remain a facsimile.

Well... anyway. There was no faking her happiness. Her wife, she knew, could feel that. Smile or no smile, she would know.

“You’re home early.”

#desaeviio #i typed out @ and tumblr knew what this was for.#i don't actually have jennifer connelly icons on this laptop yet... so constance wu it is for now.

hulksdontdoweak

you know what i'm here for samurott: the two women with the same first name

damn u. 1) because that’s literally the pokemon’s direct name damn near and 2) bc i lOVE ME SOME BETTY SQUARED.

General:

How long will they last? - FOREVER. Until death does them part for another odd year or two. Death cannot seize their love.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - In lust? In moments. In love? Why, it took Ross more time to learn to love a beast.

How was their first kiss? - Rushed, hurried and delightful in the seats of General Ross’ ‘borrrowed’ army jeep. Also was another ‘first’ occasion.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Banner.

Who is the best man/men? - Rick Jones, Samson (iirc).

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Jen, Marlo (bc sure why not)

Who did the most planning? - Ross. She wanted her dream wedding. The old school classic authentic Catholic wedding for a very nontraditional gay wedding. (Let’s pretend it was legal at the time)

Who stressed the most? - BANNER. LIKE A LOT. (when your wife’s dad comes into the ceremony uninvited armed with a shotgun, your stress is warranted.)

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - GENERAL ROSS. HE SHOWED UP ANYWAY.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Actually a healthy both here. Mostly Ross though.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Banner, to get out of trouble, but Ross because she’s cute.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Depends on if Hulks. If not, a moderate amount of time. They’re getting older.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Everytime.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. (Banner just says Ross is ‘more clingy’ not that Banner wants more affection usually)

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Um. Naturally is a bit harder here, but I’d picture one.

How many children will they adopt? - Again, they’ve adopted like… 1? from a prior marriage of Banner’s. Maybe if that. Ross is a ‘mom’ of some kind here.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Ross.

Who is the stricter parent? - Ross, but mostly Banner’s not trying to be harsh AT ALL. Lessoned learned.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Ross. Banner lets them do it. (with supervision).

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Ross in the beginning, Banner later on when Ross slips.

Who is the more loved parent? - Banner. She tries to be ‘funner’. Fun inventions… more roughhousing.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Ross, but she’ll drag her damn wife down to suffer with her.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Banner, but god was it kept quiet.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - They call Auntie Jen for help.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Banner! Surprisingly really into it. Also, will totally get kids into spicy food young.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - I can’t imagine either are too picky.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Both together. If alone, Ross.

How often do they bake desserts? - Per therapy (physical and otherwise) suggestions, at least 3 times a week for an ‘engaging, stimulating interaction’. Also, cookies are good, and snacks are needed for post-Hulk outs and/or killer munchies on Banner’s part.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat Eaters.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Banner!

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Ross!

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Ross, but not too bad.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Ross. She’s so domestic. It’s partially what she lives for. (Living the original dream of an easy life)

Who is really against chores? - BANNER.

Who cleans up after the pets? - I mean, Banner will, but only after losing the fight enough of their tiny dog not being ‘YOUR dog’ but ‘OUR DOG TOO’.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Banner.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Ross. Loses it. Better clean the damn ceiling, honey.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Banner, still loves this.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Ross, but Banner’s catching up.It’s very relaxing.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - With a heavy sigh, Banner.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Every damn holiday.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Continue being in one. Get over traumas slowly or bury them forever in the crook of each other’s necks.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - They both come from this stern military backgrounds now in raising. So, best they can sleep in might be to 9.

Who plays the most pranks? - Ross tries, but Banner fucking KILLS IT at this game.

@desaeviio @giverofcooldownhugs bc let’s get self referential here.

#YES CHANTS #god this is great #'ross tries' is an accurate description of her just trying to be fun #square wife #everywhere but the bedroom #there she can be any shape she damn well wants

desaeviio replied to your post: tfw ur wife is super hot

u like that bb

if i say yes, will there be more

#desaeviio #also maybe not that purple... thing.#duggan sucks ass ( crack. )#good thing about constance wu is that there's a lot of smiling icons.#much more than jennifer connelly has at any rate.#let jennifer connelly smile.

also now that i am actually here, i’m going to make a real post about this later but there’s gonna be two verses here.

one. red she-hulk. basically the blog up to this point. jennifer connelly remains the fc. two. betty’s normal. well, kind of. like, she most definitely did die and there’s associated nightmares esp. since nightmare was fucking with her soul while she was dead. constance wu is the fc for this verse.

#WE'RE NOT IC IN THE PALACE OF WISDOM ( ooc. )

tfw ur wife is super hot

#WE'RE NOT IC IN THE PALACE OF WISDOM ( ooc. )

It’s... well, it’s certainly big.

#open;

desaeviio:

[Oh, how that wiped the smug smile off her face, but she couldn’t help but have to squash down excitement for the new dog. Self-repression for a good cause frankly.]

I thought you were joking. We’re not putting her in that sweater. It’s embarassing. [–To me.]

It’s a cute sweater. And it cost me $14.95 so she’s wearing it on principle.

#desaeviio

desaeviio:

To you, cute to you.

And, god, is that a size extra small for her? Did they say how much she weighs?

Around three pounds. She’s a baby. Our baby.

#desaeviio #honestly the cutest little puppy.#probably dances.#no one blames banner for breaking in front of it's power.

desaeviio:

[Oh, how that wiped the smug smile off her face, but she couldn’t help but have to squash down excitement for the new dog. Self-repression for a good cause frankly.]