just my daily musing @giveyou-thesun - Tumblr Blog

going through trauma recently, can’t talk about it anywhere else. need an abyss to tell into

do you have someone that you love more than life itself, but you’re at two completely different places in life? i want them so badly, but it just won’t work out. to the point where they can’t even be in your life at all because neither one of you can handle it. what do you do with that?

#love #i love you #i miss you

i’ve been reflecting a lot on something my therapist recently told me, that my past traumas are blocking my ability to be myself. i am so terrified of losing those emotions of fear and panic because they feel like they are my biggest defining traits. i feel like i am nothing without them, but the concept that i could be an entirely suppressed person underneath those weights is refreshing. it is as calming as it is terrifying and i don’t know which me i would rather. do i want to live in the comfort of my own fear and pain or do i want to clean it all out and allow my “true” personality to bloom once more. but, more importantly, does it matter either way?

i’m really tired of feeling helpless and unwanted

i don’t feel that great today. i’m really overwhelmed.

i’m an emotional wreck haha

i don’t know what i’m expecting from posting things on here. i guess i don’t really expect anything, it just feels like i’m telling someone. rather than just letting it build up.

my book club professor told us the other day to really consider the “choreography of daily life”. how we move throughout spaces all day long without ever touching. we get in big metal boxes and hurtle towards each other at the speed of death, only to not collide because of paint? it really struck me because i prescribe to the idea that the simple beautiful things that we take for granted are often the best and the choreography of daily life is never something i had ever really given a second thought. never through that perspective anyway. the dance of everyday life is another simple (yet complex) beautiful thing that we all take for granted

i’ve been having a really tough time lately and it feels like everywhere i turn people disappear on me. i really struggle with self esteem and having so many people leave in such a condensed time frame is really taking a toll on me emotionally, especially as i run out of people to talk to. i tell myself i’m overreacting, that they’ll come back and they don’t hate me. but it’s so hard sometimes. i dont actually believe that. i think that they are tired of me because i’m needy. there’s all those posts about how if someone really cared about you they’d show you or they’d do the things you ask them to, but where is that energy from people, is that even actually how it works? i just wish i could find some of my own people.

bemusedlybespectacled

fucking christ I am sobbing

“If the men find out we can shapeshift, they’re going to tell the church!“

pyreo

i didnt learn anything about contouring but that’s okay

lizmaryr

Do yourself a favour and watch this. I am sobbing with laughter at one a clock in the morning, i literally had to stop the video because I couldn’t see through my tears of mirth.

PRESS PLAY.

vampire-crimson

IF YOU DO NOT WATCH THIS

YOU ARE MISSING OUT

i still have no idea how to fuckin contour but there are much more important things for this person to teach you

ultrafacts

Source

Video of Tama

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

majikkant-deactivated20180504

The picture in the background of the second one

pizzaismylifepizzaisking

Tama is boss

ultrafacts

cat-fandom

THE TRAINS HAVE CARTOON TAMAS ON THEM

ultrafacts

Sad update everyone, Tama recently passed away… An estimated 3,000 people, including railway officials, attended Tama the cat’s funeral on Sunday, days after she died of heart failure aged 16. [x]

retro-geek-deactivated20220412

For those who haven’t read articles about it, the local shrine elevated her to a god. She’s now the Eternal Stationmaster and patron god of the station.