SENTENCE MEME ⟶ THE GOOD PLACE / 1.08 – 1.13
always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
“Not often you get to confront your greatest failure face-to-face.”
“I am just dumbfounded as to how this happened.”
“You lied so much you forgot your own birthday.”
“These are a handful of questions designed to tell whether you are fundamentally good or bad.”
“Unless I can figure out a compelling reason to keep you here, you will spend eternity with murderers, arsonists, and people who take off their shoes and socks on commercial airlines.”
“The sooner she’s gone the better off we’ll all be.”
“Can’t we just chalk this up as a hilarious mistake and move on?”
“You’re a giant chunk of spinach in the teeth of the universe.”
“I know we’re in a miserable bind here, but this might be the proudest day of my life.”
“No offense, but that’s a real bummer of a life.”
“You’re the bomb with a dope soul and hella ethics.”
“She sued $80 million in emotional distress.”
“There should be a medium place for people like me who kind of sucked but like, in a fun way.”
“You’re a really good fake soulmate.”
“I suppose some part of me possibly has a sense of casual kinship with you.”
“I don’t wanna be a part of whatever little group you’ve formed because they’re all equally lame.”
“People keep asking me questions I don’t know the answers to.”
“You’re the only person here who’s nice to me.”
“Whatever happened before I arrived is none of my business.”
“You’re snorting the concept of time?”
“I think I made it pretty clear that I don’t approve.”
“You’ll be able to avoid talking to another person here.”
“It’ll be a pleasure not hanging out with you.”
“If you two aren’t gonna make out then just shut up.”
“That’s Ariana Grande, the sexiest woman alive.”
“You’re barely even a regular, functioning person.”
“Hooking up with someone with the exact same name is a kind of fun, narcissistic fantasy.”
“Love has made me a nerd.”
“I feel like her confession of love was a lot better than mine.”
“I figured you two charlatans would sniff each other out like two mangy rats sharing a pizza crust in a sewer.”
“We are not gonna be those women who fight over a guy and find any excuse to rip each other apart.”
“You and I have a weird, complicated, forked up friendship.”
“You were already at almost-maximum hotness, but now you look like a sexy Rapunzel.”
“Can I kiss you, or will I be electrocuted?”
“I’m sorry, I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
“Who else feels like she ruined every moment of your existence?”
“This will be the fourth most important party I have ever thrown.”
“If I tell her I love her for the wrong reasons, it won’t mean anything.”
“We thought of everything except for an alibi and an escape plan.”
“What have I been doing? Oh, just walking around, contemplating my failure, wishing for the sweet released of eternal extinction.”
“I’m gonna go murder her, I’ll be right back.”
“I’ma live forever, bitch.”
“I’m gonna sit alone in my house watching wedding fails on Youtube, drinking margaritas through a Twizzlers straw until I pass out on top of my vibrator.”
“I see you all the time and you’re really mean to me and it hurts my feelings.”
“The minute you’re out of my line of sight, I literally forget you exist.”
“No pressure, but we’ll literally be tortured for all of eternity if we get caught.”
“Welcome to eternal mediocrity.”
“One of the perks of living alone is I get to just walk around naked.”
“We’re gonna go try to figure out how to have sex.”
“The meaner she is the more it turns me on.”
“If you wanna survive, you have to forget what you left behind.”
“Take that whole experience, crumple it up, and throw it in the garbage can.”
“Permission to speak somewhat emotionally?”
“Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s my masturbation time.”
“I’ve been using their crappy parenting as an excuse for my selfish behavior all my life.”
“In preparation for your terrible trip, please put on these fedoras.”
“I’ll miss you, you sexy skyscraper.”
“It looks like paradise, but it’s actually a filthy dumpster full of our worst anxieties.”
“You hurt everyone in your life with your rigidity and indecisiveness.”
theartofmadeline
titsay
2087
tangentwithtanner
