There are so many celebrations that Dean never got the chance to experience. Birthdays at best were celebrated with some food and cheap gift, both bought at the nearest convenience store. Thanksgiving was usually spent on the road, driving to the other side of the country to fight the monster of the week. Easter was only celebrated with some cheap chocolate eggs when they stopped for gas. And Christmas was mostly spent on crappy motel rooms, watching whatever Christmas special was on TV.
But now that Dean is retired from hunting, now that he and Cas are together and share a home, now that his family is a bigger number than the passengers that can fit in the Impala, Dean tries to celebrate all those special days that happen every year, gets really excited about getting one year older, about sitting down with his family to share a copious meal, about seeing the silly ornaments that come with every celebration.
Dean likes to celebrate so many things now, but the New Year is not one of those things. It has never been. He remembers being on the road while the clock stroke midnight and barely registering it. For him, changing into another year barely meant anything. His life was still the same, driving all over the country, fighting the next big bad, surviving instead of living. He never understood why people hyped the whole damn thing as if for some miracle, everything could change for the better once midnight came, as if the universe could reset itself and the pain could go away once and for all.
Now that things are different, that Dean is living and not just surviving life, now that he is married to the love of his life, the New Year should be special, but it really isn’t, because it still feels like the end of another normal day. He still doesn’t understand the hype, doesn’t really understand what makes this night so special for so many people, doesn’t really get why so many people want to wear their best outfits and party until the sun comes up, as if that could make a spell to make the upcoming year better. Maybe that is what people want to believe to make their lives more bearable. But to each their own, right?
Probably all those people think that both Dean and Cas are insane for not wanting to do anything special in the last night of the year, like the rest of the world seem to do. But in Dean’s opinion, watching a movie while he and Cas cuddle in the couch, is so much better than what the rest of the world is doing tonight. It might not be special for a lot of people, but for Dean, getting the chance to spend the night with his husband while they watch Die Hard, cuddling in the couch, wearing their most comfortable pajamas, it’s extraordinary. So Dean holds Cas closer and together, feeling so damn lucky because he gets to have this, not just tonight, but so many other nights.
Suddenly, Cas snuggles even closer and presses a kiss on Dean’s cheek, breaking Dean’s train of thought. He looks at his husband with an arched brow, a silent question in his eyes at the unprompted kiss.
“It’s well past midnight,” Cas explains, his head subtly tilting to point to the clock on the shelf. Dean looks at it briefly, noticing that it’s twelve past eighteen. “We might not engage in the absurd celebrations for tonight, but I still like the kissing part.”
Dean laughs. “Of course you do.”
Cas smiles sweetly, but there is a hint of smugness in there that Dean loves so damn much. He leans down while Cas tilts his head up, meeting in the middle to share a soft but passionate kiss, because of all the celebrations for tonight, kissing someone you love is an actual good one.
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