GLORY TO THE XALPATRAZ EMPIRE

CAPTAIN GLAZZ'S "BLOG"! YOUR FUTURE RULER IS HERE!

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

WHO I AM (IN DETAIL)

GREETINGS, TERRANS. YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF ME BEFORE, BUT I SHALL RE-INTRODUCE MYSELF, PROPERLY THIS TIME. I AM CAPTAIN GLAZZ. I COME FROM PLANET XALPATRAZ, AND YES, I AM WHAT YOU WOULD CONSIDER AN "ALIEN". SPECIFICALLY, A XALPATRAN. MY MISSION IS SIMPLE. I HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED TO EARTH, IN ORDER TO CONQUER IT FOR THE XALPATRAZ EMPIRE. WITH THE AID OF COMMANDER POIPOLE, NOTHING CAN STAND IN MY WAY TO SHOWING YOUR PEOPLE JUST HOW SUPERIOR OUR RACE IS! CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT I LOOK LIKE? TAKE A LOOK BELOW. MEMORIZE IT WELL.

( OOC: Glazz is an actual alien pokémon trainer! She's not a faller, she's just straight up from outer space! Her main goal is to take over the planet, but she has no real idea on how to do that, so she'll believe just about anything. I'm aiming for a much more comedic angle with her, so have fun with that! Also, her pokéballs are a bit different from the regular ones, and she refers to pokémon as "Faeries"! Bottom picture is a full showcase of her design, but her bodytype is more accurate in the top picture. Anyway, I hope you enjoy interacting with my crazy alien girl!!!) (P.S.: I'm pretty new to Rotomblr stuff, so if I make mistakes, be nice!!!)

[errorinvalid-username]

This blog sucks! Get a profile picture.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHAT'S A BLOG?

[thatoneelectronerd]

Lmao how does someone make a rotomblr and not know what a blog is

[errorinvalid-username]

THAT'S RUDE. CAN YOU AT LEAST EXPLAIN?

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

GOOD NEWS! I, GLAZZ, WILL GLADLY INTRODUCE YOU, AS I HAVE BEEN IN YOUR BOOTS MYSELF ONCE BEFORE. THIS SITE IS A DIGITAL PLATFORM ON THE INTERNET THAT ALLOWS YOU TO RECORD YOUR THOUGHTS AND CONVERSE WITH OTHER PEOPLE USING POSTS LIKE WHAT YOU'RE DOING NOW. YOU SEEM TO BE MISSING A PROFILE PICTURE, AND YOUR USERNAME IS NOT DEFINING YOU AS A BEING AT ALL. YOU SHOULD WORK ON THIS BEFORE THE XALPATRAZ EMPIRE TAKES OVER THIS WEBSITE!

[errorinvalid-username]

WHEN YOU SAY 'SITE', YOU MEAN 'WEBSITE', RIGHT? YOU MEAN I'M ON THE INTERNET?

I'M NOT SURE HOW TO CHANGE MY USERNAME RIGHT NOW. CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO DO IT?

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

GO INTO THE SETTINGS OF YOUR BLOG, PRESS YOUR ICON, AND SELECT A PICTURE ON YOUR CELLULAR DEVICE. VERY SIMPLE.

[errorinvalid-username]

This blog sucks! Get a profile picture.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHAT'S A BLOG?

[thatoneelectronerd]

Lmao how does someone make a rotomblr and not know what a blog is

[errorinvalid-username]

THAT'S RUDE. CAN YOU AT LEAST EXPLAIN?

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

GOOD NEWS! I, GLAZZ, WILL GLADLY INTRODUCE YOU, AS I HAVE BEEN IN YOUR BOOTS MYSELF ONCE BEFORE. THIS SITE IS A DIGITAL PLATFORM ON THE INTERNET THAT ALLOWS YOU TO RECORD YOUR THOUGHTS AND CONVERSE WITH OTHER PEOPLE USING POSTS LIKE WHAT YOU'RE DOING NOW. YOU SEEM TO BE MISSING A PROFILE PICTURE, AND YOUR USERNAME IS NOT DEFINING YOU AS A BEING AT ALL. YOU SHOULD WORK ON THIS BEFORE THE XALPATRAZ EMPIRE TAKES OVER THIS WEBSITE!

[errorinvalid-username]

// hi! MPC here with a temporary pinned since this blog likely won't get a proper one in a minute! So what is, this blog? You ask?

I'm doing a mini-arc rp with my buddy textop on @lets-kick-it, and if you came from here you might have noticed she mentioned one of her friends missing! That'll be relevant later since that's who I'm playing.

While Pam is more of a paragon-esque character, Donny is morally grey. He's generally easy to get along with, but I don't know what's gonna leak out of him yet so...! Yea :)

Bother him, ask him invasive questions, ask him to do your homework, help him out, etcetera! The usual rotomblr feature like pellipper mail won't work this time, his phone just can't handle it 🤷‍♀️

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

Foiled by a shitposter. Hilarious

A WHAT

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

NANABOO PUMPKABOO... YOU SHALL LIVE IN MY MEMORIES AS ONE OF MY GREATEST ENEMIES FOR THIS INSOLENT COMMENT. I WILL FIND YOU AND TAKE YOU TO SEE THE GREATNESS OF XALPATRAZ! MAYBE THEN YOU WILL SEE THAT "OPPOSITE DAY" IS UTTERLY RIDICULOUS AND I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HA

[nanaboo-pumpkaboo]

I'm so fucking sorry

Today is also opposite day

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

STOP IT STOP DOING THAT STOP NOW STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT

[nanaboo-pumpkaboo]

You got it boss

Today is also opposite day today is also opposite day today is also opposite day

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

HOW TO BLOCK PEOPLE ROTOMBLR

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

NANABOO PUMPKABOO... YOU SHALL LIVE IN MY MEMORIES AS ONE OF MY GREATEST ENEMIES FOR THIS INSOLENT COMMENT. I WILL FIND YOU AND TAKE YOU TO SEE THE GREATNESS OF XALPATRAZ! MAYBE THEN YOU WILL SEE THAT "OPPOSITE DAY" IS UTTERLY RIDICULOUS AND I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HA

[nanaboo-pumpkaboo]

I'm so fucking sorry

Today is also opposite day

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

STOP IT STOP DOING THAT STOP NOW STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT

[pokemonred-v-blu]

Alright, enough messing with Pippin, I'm gonna read more of the TF2 comic, Blood in the Water. Time to see who my bio parents are!

[pokemonred-v-blu]

Hm... hacksaws seem a bit... odd. I dunno, I know I'm a hunter and I'm good at processing animals, but for hiding a body, seems a bit too disrespectful, y'know? But knowing Miss Pauling's trick is interesting

Also, crikey I look good in this art style, very handsome

[pokemonred-v-blu]

Oh. There's Engineer... Working directly with Helen...

What does she mean by settling an old debt...?

[pokemonred-v-blu]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM FROM NEW ZEALAND THAT PLACE SUNK BEFORE I WAS EVEN BORN??????

[pokemonred-v-blu]

... I look nothing like that man. There's... something off about that man. I would not call him my dad, my dad is Jonathan Mundy

[pokemonred-v-blu]

He. Tried to abandon me and his wife thinking that the dome would be filled with magma. Instead of trying to save the three of us. And then, Lar-nah, put me on the ground and tried to climb in. The two of them got physical, meanwhile I, a crawling baby, managed to climb in and start the ship. That's how I ended up in Australia.

Ok so no wonder the bloke seemed off and like he had a punchable face I'm so bloody glad I got adopted. Also it's pretty funny seein' dad say a rocket falling from the skies is an answered prayer, heh. I... always wondered about that... thought it was a project he hung in the barn as just... something he could never finish, but liked the idea of. Got real rusted, heh...

... It's comforting to know they wanted me. They could have said no, given me up to an adoption agency, but... Instead they took me in, gave me a good name, and raised me the best they could...

Bill-Bel and Lar-Nah are not my real parents. My real parents adopted me when I fell from the bloody sky (how did I not die from that...?) and loved me like I was related by blood.

[thatoneelectronerd]

That's a superman backstory if I've ever seen one.

[pokemonred-v-blu]

God if I were Superman maybe I wouldn't have had such a rough childhood...

WAIT WAS I

hang on

I

I need to have a slice of cheesecake and laugh about this-

[thatoneelectronerd]

> from an otherworldly place

> got transported by a rocketship that was made because of a prediction that said place would be destroyed

> adopted by a loving couple in the boonies

> didn't know any of this until adulthood

[pokemonred-v-blu]

I was inspired by bloody Superman what the hell

[thatoneelectronerd]

@glorytothexalpatrazempire are you still giving out holo-capes?

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

I AM IN FACT STILL DOING THAT. JUST LET ME KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE AND I WILL MAKE MY WAY OVER WITH MY SPACESHIP IN NO TIME.

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

So like what are you gonna do since this site is multiversal and you can only take over your version of earth.

I TRUST THAT MY OTHER SELVES FROM THEIR RESPECTIVE WORLDS WILL BE JUST AS PERFECT AS I AM AND WILL ACHIEVE THEIR GOALS. I, ON THE OTHER HAND, GET TO RELAX AS I MERELY MUST CONQUER THIS PLANET.

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

NANABOO PUMPKABOO... YOU SHALL LIVE IN MY MEMORIES AS ONE OF MY GREATEST ENEMIES FOR THIS INSOLENT COMMENT. I WILL FIND YOU AND TAKE YOU TO SEE THE GREATNESS OF XALPATRAZ! MAYBE THEN YOU WILL SEE THAT "OPPOSITE DAY" IS UTTERLY RIDICULOUS AND I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HA

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

Can I have a cape

WHEN I TAKE OVER THE PLANET, THEY WILL BE SOLD AT STORES. THEN, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO BUY AS MANY CAPES AS YOU WANT! DON'T THANK ME. THANK THE XALPATRAZ EMPIRE! ...OKAY, MAYBE THANK ME A LITTLE.

[wandering-white-dwarf]

Pathetic holograph capes, FYI.

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

BLASPHEMY!

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

Omg what if you made a fashion company on earth where its all the holo capes

I SEE THE BUSINESS POTENTIAL. THIS IS NOW IN MY LIST OF THINGS TO DO AFTER I GAIN ABSOLUTE POWER OVER YOUR PLANET. I AM OPEN TO NAME SUGGESTIONS FOR MY FUTURE FASHION COMPANY.

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

Whats the dumbest thing aomeone sai to yuuu

"YOU CAN'T CONQUER THE PLANET" UM. YES I CAN?

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

Can I have a cape

WHEN I TAKE OVER THE PLANET, THEY WILL BE SOLD AT STORES. THEN, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO BUY AS MANY CAPES AS YOU WANT! DON'T THANK ME. THANK THE XALPATRAZ EMPIRE! ...OKAY, MAYBE THANK ME A LITTLE.

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

wait if you live in your ship then does that mean you drive it from point A to point B like a camper van?

CORRECT! I BRING IT WITH ME WHEN GOING LONG DISTANCES. PERFECT TRAVEL DEVICE, AND I CAN CAMOUFLAGE IT TO MAKE IT INVISIBLE SHOULD I WISH!

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

Hehe! I LOVE your outfit! It’s so stylish, and I love the hot pink accents with the cropped jacket! Where did you get it? ✨

@ladyzee-oddityhunter

THAT IS A VERY EASY ONE! THIS UNIFORM WAS PROVIDED TO ME BY THE XALPATRAZ EMPIRE. OF COURSE, I TOOK A FEW CREATIVE LIBERTIES, BUT ALL XALPATRAZ SOLDIERS WEAR AN OUTFIT LIKE THIS!

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

Are you cold-blooded? like a reptile?

ONLY ON WEDNESDAYS.

[thatoneelectronerd]

What are wednesdays a thing in xalpatraz?

[glorytothexalpatrazempire]

YES. EXCEPT THEY ARE SPELLED "WENSDAY" INSTEAD. HONESTLY, I FIND THE SPELLING "WEDNESDAY" TO BE LUDICROUS.