Glowing Still - Christian Life Coach

I am a Christian life coach focused on Spiritual, Marriage & Intimacy Coaching Helping women and couples to improve their intimacy, shed fear & guilt and increase their closeness with Christ

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The 7 types of the Perfect Cuddle!

The 7 types of the Perfect Cuddle!

One summer, a few years ago, I spent seven weeks in Maine working at a small hospital emergency room.  During those times, I was all alone.   Our children were in Virginia with their grandmother, and my husband was working full-time in Tennessee.  Every day I called him and we chatted, and while I enjoyed talking with him, something was always missing.  It was that personal touch and emotional…

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I’ve got scars and painful memories of the past. Whether I like them or not, they define me in some way. But I can either hide them or keep living. Maybe you’re wanting a second chance, a reason to keep going. . . Remember, you don’t have to live in the pity party or the painful past. You can learn to smile again even though you’ve reached rock bottom. Knock away the rotten door of your pain and suffering and start realizing your place as God’s beloved! . Thank you @mikefoster2000 your book #youriseglorious is already touching and blessing my heart tonight! #findinghope #anxietyrelief #anxietyproblems #panicattack #scars #depressionhelp #trauma #findinglove #hope #thereishope #christian #medicalwriter #glowingstill #golden #femaleentrepreneur #writersofinstagram #psychology #emdrtherapy https://www.instagram.com/p/Bws4Z35l8uH/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1duacyignc362

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Men's Guide to Erection Dysfunction

Men’s Guide to Erection Dysfunction

The mystery surrounding erectile dysfunction

Should you take medications? Does it really affect the partner in the relationship? Why is erectile dysfunction such a problem for men? Is it a medical condition or something else?

  Read the full article here at Express Pharmacy

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Repost: @demetris_nicol.psychologist There’s no place like home ❤️ 👠 😘. . . #medicalwriter #anxietyrelief #writersofinstagram #loveyou #marriage #romantic #lovequotes #sadness #hope #traumarecovery #trauma #healing https://www.instagram.com/p/BvKSan-lT3H/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1boxqui33ku1h

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Handwashing Survival

saving your hands even with endless handwashing.

  During cold & flu season, you know you need to wash your hands. In fact, we all need to wash our hands all the time. But what happens when our hands are red, painful, cracking, and hurt? How do we keep washing our hands then?

  Read the full article: Saving Your Hands this Cold and Flu Season

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Getting Ready to Visit Africa on Vacation?

Getting Ready to Visit Africa on Vacation?

Making Sure You Are Really Ready for Africa

Traveling to a new country can be a wonderful experience. A life-changing experience. A once-in-a-lifetime event. But make sure when you do travel to a new country that it is a good memory, not a nightmare.

    Being prepared for your trip to the continent of Africa requires a great amount of preparation. You need to know about what clothes to pack for…

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Why I Write About Gluten Free Foods

Why I Write About Gluten Free Foods

It’s the worst diet I have ever been on – and I really hate dieting. Even the word dieting conjures up feelings of lack. Losing foods. Having to make hard choices. When the doctor informed me that I had Celiac Sprue, little did I know that the “diet” I did not want to begin, would become the gluten-free diet of my life.

What is Celiac Sprue?

The Mayo Clinicdefines Celiac Sprue as an immune…

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A new year, a new work calendar (already filling up) and a new candle for my office! #timetogetserious #writing #writersofinstagram #medical #meditation #glowingstill @yankeecandle #blogger #freelance #freelancewriter https://www.instagram.com/p/BsQadpjlUet/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=14dr3h3kpzkdf

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Is Male Sexuality the Real Problem?

Is Male Sexuality the Real Problem?

We can scour the internet for all of the sex advice that cyberspace has to offer when it comes to truly grasping all that comprises male sexuality, but there’s one colossal myth that absolutely must be debunked before a male is able to express himself sexually in a way that glorifies the Creator:

Myth: Male sexuality itself is a problem.

Indeed, there are countless articles and books out…

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Read the Bible and Enjoy Sex – Girl Wash Your Face Part 3

It can be hard to even type the words Bible and sex in the same sentence without some shivers going down my spine. It almost seems that those words should not be together and if they are they should be in a negative sense. (Or maybe that’s just me). Can a husband and a wife enjoy sexual intimacy based upon the scriptures?

In one sense it can be almost silly to consider that sex and the Bible don’t go together. It is obvious that Adam and Eve must have participated in intimacy if children were going to be born. But then why is it such a hush-hush topic for couples. The Bible has a lot of positive things to talk about the intimacy that we, as married couples, should come to enjoy together.

Welcome to Part Three of Rachel Hollis’ Book Girl, Wash Your Face – Chapter Review

Part One can be found here

Part Two can be found here

If you are just joining us, here are her Seven things that helped her improve sexual intimacy in her marriage

Redefined sex her my own mind

Figured out how sex could be an earth-shattering experience

Read Hebrews 13:4

Accept your body

Committed to my orgasm

Had to figure out what turns me on

Have sex every day

  Read Hebrews 13:4

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

If you were to consider the second half of this verse, as most people do, it is a concentration on the punishment for those who change the beautiful meaning of sex. The penalty is harsh; it cannot be denied. But for this article, we are not talking about pornography or those who have sex outside of marriage, we will be focusing directly on God-ordained marriage intimacy. 

Marriage is honorable.

Let this just sink-in for a few moments. It is honorable. Honorable is defined as bringing honor to something. Honor is defined as high esteem or worthy. The institution of marriage is something that we can allow to bring honor to our name. I remember the first time I heard Mrs. Galyen (and they were referring to me, not my mother-in-law) I was quite honored and happy to associate myself with that title; I was even PROUD to associate myself with the title of married.

And so should you! Marriage is a wonderful thing that we all can enjoy. It has many rights and privileges, and it should be something that remains sacred and special in your life.

The Pure Bed – Undefiled

There it is in black and white. The marriage bed – where traditionally sex takes place – is considered pure. Holy. Special. Clean. The Bible is being discreet here, but the truth of the matter is, sexual intimacy can take place wherever you want it to be.

Well, of course, please make it legal locations! 

But there are many, many places that we can be intimate at, on, around, and on-top of.

A bed

The shower or bath

A hot-tub

The back seat of a mini-van or pick-up truck

The front seat of a vehicle

The floor

The kitchen table (umm..please just clean up before the next meal)

Under a starry sky on top of a soft comforter

In a tent

A camper

On some clean hay in a barn

On a cruise ship

A guest room at your in-law’s house

A hotel room

The backporch swing

In your office on your break – please lock the door first!

The garden

At the beach

Mile-High Club. On an airplane – but only if you have one of those really expensive first-class enclosed seats with a door.

In an ice-hotel in Iceland

Or just anywhere your imagination will safely take you!

All of these locations are honorable in all and undefiled because they are under the covenant of marriage. Now, can one of these locations be used at the wrong time and cause some embarrassment?? Yes! That is why we must use discretion and follow the rules of the land. But if it’s legal, and you are comfortable with the location, enjoy the blessing of God and have some fun with intimacy in a new spot.

What else does the Bible have to say about intimacy?

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” ~ Genesis 2:25 

How beautiful and pleasant you are, O loved one, with all your delights! Your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters. I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of its fruit. Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine, and the scent of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine. It goes down smoothly for my beloved, gliding over lips and teeth. I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me. ~ Song of Solomon 7:6-12

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. ~ Matthew 19:5

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine;~ Song of Solomon 1:2

Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. ~ Proverbs 5:18-19

It is good to note that both the Old and New Testament have positive things to say about marriage and intimacy. Sex is not just for procreation, it is for the enjoyment of each of other. As we can easily see, none of these verses mention that sex in the Bible is just for that, but it clearly is about enjoyment. Coming together, enjoying seeing each other naked, tasting and being intoxicated with your spouse’s love — that is what is clearly seen through these verses!

One tip that I love is from To Love, Honor, and Vacuum from Sheila Gregoire. Her tip for initiating intimacy when she writes is:

Get into bed naked.

It’s hard to mistake that message! Then you can either act all shy or all coy–“why, whatever are you doing?”–or you can climb on top and get right to it!

Conclusion:

So the next time you are wondering about intimacy, open your Bible and read some of these amazing passages to enjoy the blessings of your honorable marriage. It can truly be a lot of fun – and while you’re at it, go ahead and try a new location too.

  So what about it? What are your thoughts about this article? How do you define intimacy and sharing in your marriage? What fun locations have you tried?

  Please note: The review here is my own, and I was not paid to write this post. With all books that are suggested here on GlowingStill.com, I highly encourage you to read them for yourself as your opinion and beliefs may differ.

Kind comments and discussion are permitted, however, comments that attack another person or use profanity are not allowed. Those that condone pornography or use hateful attacks towards another person’s beliefs will be deleted.

  The post Read the Bible and Enjoy Sex – Girl Wash Your Face Part 3 appeared first on Glowing Still Johanna Galyen.

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How to ReDefine Sex – Girl, Wash Your Face Part 2

Can intimacy with your spouse be better? In the book, Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis, she says yes. Instead of telling her readers that it should be better or guilting them into something that they know they ought to do (but really have no idea of ‘how’), she shares candid moments and practical steps to actually redefine sex – or what it means it to you.

This is part two in a chapter review series of improving your intimate life – part 1 – ENJOY SEX can be read HERE. And if you don’t remember, here is her list of 7 things:

Redefined sex her my own mind

Figured out how sex could be an earth-shattering experience

Read Hebrews 13:4

Accept your body

Committed to my orgasm

Had to figure out what turns me on

Have sex every day

Redefine Sex. — What she didn’t do

In the chapter, I’m Bad At Sex, Rachel Hollis shares seven things that she did to help herself and redefine sex. As a reader, I was quite surprised it did not include any of the typical things that one might think to improve her intimate life. She did NOT suggest

losing weight

buying new lingerie

having plastic surgery

trying out new locations for sex

or buying books or how-to manuals.

You see, Rachel Hollis already knew how to be intimate. The technical aspects were already figured out. She also realized that changing herself radically through unhealthy weight loss or plastic surgery was not the answer to redefine sex. Neither was trying something that was way out of her comfort zone and like most newly married women she probably already had a stash of lingerie

The issue for most couples is not that sex needs to be this REALLY BIG THING; no, it is going back to basics and finding what is pleasurable.

Redefine Sex – What She Did Do

I reminded myself that sex was…awesome. Rachel Hollis

Instead of allowing herself to accept how other people defined what it meant, she had to understand what it meant to her.

As a wife, I like this. It means something very different to each person. We all come with our thoughts and expectations. I remember before I got married I had all the grand ideas of how sex was supposed to go. Sadly, they all mirrored exactly what I saw on NBC or ABC television.

Intimacy is going to be a fun experience

It is not something to be dreaded or pushed aside. It doesn’t have to be weighed against other activities like should I be intimate with my spouse or binge watch Netflix.

This statement is not a mantra that has to be repeated. Kind of like those times when your kids absolutely make a huge mess and you find yourself repeating, “I love my children, I love my children.”

It is a positive mindset that shows that you do enjoy the experience and that you want it to happen.

Intimacy is not to be taken for granted

When you redefine sex as something that is enjoyable, it takes the obligatory and insincere parts out of it. It becomes an experience that is meant to be enjoyed and savored. After many years of being together, it is easy to take your spouse for granted. Askmen.com summed it up like this:

We all want to know that we’re appreciated. It’s as simple as that. After a while, we take each other for granted. Sure, we may blurt out “love you” as we’re hanging up the phone or as one of us is walking out the front door. We may even respond, “me too” but think about it — does it sound sincere or obligatory? Knowing we’re loved is important for all of us. It changes everything.

Intimacy is not just an act

Sex is not just a thing that wives do to get pregnant. Nor is it just a thing that men want to do. Intimacy is a connection, not a role to be performed.

If you want to have great sex, you need to know what it means to you. It is not just an act, it is a connection between two people. Click To Tweet

Intimacy is about Pleasure and Enjoyment

Sex does not have to be about the BIG O orgasm, it can just simply mean that you two are together and enjoying each other. Think about it like this, playing a board game like Monopoly can be fun. Or playing it together with your best friend can be extra fun. Intimacy is the same way; it is simply talking, laughing, sharing, connecting, joking, and being together.

Sex is not about the orgasm, but about the two of them feeling good. Sex should be about pleasure and enjoyment. Dr. Patrick Mulhall

Conclusion

Before trying to make huge changes in your marriage, start with understanding what sex is to you and what it isn’t. Once you have defined what is means to you, what you like about it, what you understand – then you can see areas that you would like to change and understand more of in the future.

In the next few weeks, I will be continuing to share more about the seven steps that Rachel Hollis wrote about, and how you can apply them to your life.

So what about it? What are your thoughts about this article? How do you define intimacy and sharing in your marriage?

  Please note: The review here is my own, and I was not paid to write this post. With all books that are suggested here on GlowingStill.com, I highly encourage you to read them for yourself as your opinion and beliefs may differ.

Kind comments and discussion are permitted, however, comments that attack another person or use profanity are not allowed. Those that condone pornography or use hateful attacks towards another person’s beliefs will be deleted.

The post How to ReDefine Sex – Girl, Wash Your Face Part 2 appeared first on Glowing Still Johanna Galyen.

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Enjoy Sex! – Girl, Wash Your Face

A surprising review, part 1

I love finding authors who write positively about sex. Good sex, not porn or porn-like stories, but positive benefits of intimacy in a marriage and ways to make it better. Such was my delight when I read the chapter “I’m Bad at Sex” written in Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis.

She shares seven ways that she found to improve the intimacy in her marriage. But first, she gets honest. Really honest. Almost painfully honest in a way that makes you cringe for her in pity, because somewhere deep inside you may be agreeing with the struggles that she faced.

When she talks about not understanding what true intimacy was, and how to prevent UTI’s (yeah, those do happen, unfortunately!) She wrote about how her husband and her loved intimacy right after they got married, and then suddenly it dropped off. Babies came, weight gain, breastfeeding (leaking milk, drooping breast — just some of the joys that aren’t always mentioned when sharing about the positive benefits of breastfeeding) and tiredness.

She tried to pretend that everything was ok. She’d go out on dates with her husband, and she would do “sexy things” to keep up appearances with her husband, but one day, she knew her sex life was “hanging by a thread.”

Read also: Why Flirting is So Important for Your Marriage

Pause. Reflect. Ponder

When I read that last statement, I knew exactly what she was talking about. And maybe, dear reader, you do too. It just isn’t enough to tick off the boxes of loving someone. With babies, it’s a bit easier. Kids too.

Feed them, check.

Read to them, check

Buy warm clothes, check

Take them to the park, check

tuck them in at night, check, check check.

Parenting is not like being a wife.  A husband needs to be fed. Maybe you shop for him. Perhaps you go out on a date with him and pray with him at bedtime.

BUT

All of those actions do not create intimacy in marriage. They are simply functions. A robot could do all of those things. Amongst Amazon, Walmart pickup, and a private chef/maid…98% of all wifely activities could be accomplished without intimacy.

My husband does not need a robot wife.

He needs a loving wife who will share with him the most intimate part of her life.

My husband does not need a robot wife. He needs a loving wife who will share with him the most intimate part of her life. Click To Tweet

What really is sharing?

Mothers ought to know what sharing is, but in reality, it is a hard concept. It can be an issue of taking turns. Or it can be giving of yourself in the act of love.

Notice, I didn’t say duty. Duty has nothing to do with the true expression of love. It wasn’t the merely the duty of Christ to die for us; He sacrificially gave of Himself on the cross BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT LOVE FOR US.

For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:6-8

When I think of sharing as a wife, I often do it in the aspect of how two kids share (with their mother refereeing, of course). I take my turn. My husband gets his turn. Fair, easy, and nobody gets hurt.

Sex doesn’t work like that. There is no dutiful expression of intimate love. You don’t just get to play around in frilly lingerie, kiss your spouse a few times, open your legs, and *whew* you survived another time of sharing.

Yeah, I know that the last paragraph was a bit calloused in its tone, but be honest. Isn’t that our expression sometimes? It’s HIS turn, so I guess I have to DO THIS to make him happy.

Back to the Book

Rachel’s husband was tired of the forced sharing. And he did the right thing and confronted her about this issue.  In the book she writes:

“Why don’t we have sex anymore?” I asked him one night…[his reply] “I got tired of being shot down.” I became immediately defensive, “I don’t shoot you down.”

“I agree Rachel, but you don’t actually want it”

She continues by sharing her thoughts. Initially, she was upset and annoyed by this revelation, but as she thought about it she knew he was right. Her fake enthusiasm was showing, and her husband was tired of her only doing to please him. He wanted a real relationship, not her just performing an act.

Here are her Seven things that helped her

Redefined sex her my own mind

Figured out how sex could be an earth-shattering experience

Read Hebrews 13:4

Accept your body

Committed to my orgasm

Had to figure out what turns me on

Have sex every day

  Conclusion

Intimacy is not an act that is performed out of a sense of duty. Neither is it sharing in the toddler & toy scenario. It is a true sharing of the heart.

In the next few weeks, I will be continuing to share more about the seven steps that Rachel Hollis wrote about, and how you can apply them to your life.

So what about it? What are your thoughts about this article? How do you define intimacy and sharing in your marriage?

  Please note: The review here is my own, and I was not paid to write this post. With all books that are suggested here on GlowingStill.com, I highly encourage you to read them for yourself as your opinion and beliefs may differ.

Kind comments and discussion are permitted, however, comments that attack another person or use profanity are not allowed. Those that condone pornography or use hateful attacks towards another person’s beliefs will be deleted.

    The post Enjoy Sex! – Girl, Wash Your Face appeared first on Glowing Still Johanna Galyen.

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HALT Your Emotions

There’s a good time to be emotional, but its best to HALT first

Yes, I’m a woman. A real woman. A woman’s whose emotions can change depending on the weather, my breakfast choices, a cute remark from my children, a loving remark from my husband, the availability of clean clothes in my wardrobe, the lack of new clothes in my wardrobe, the presence of a newly found stain on my favorite new shirt (thank you child#3 for that one!) but I digress.

Even though I’m emotional, I still made decisions.  Sometimes little ones, like the above-mentioned breakfast choices, and other times big ones. Really big decisions.  Like what I’m fixing for dinner or should I respond to this *unpleasant* email from my new boss at work.

Now you may be chuckling at my dinner decision as big, or lumping my emotions in the same category as dealing with work issues.  But I’ve learned they are one in the same, for me, emotional creature #1.

You see I treat stress the same. I’m looking for venting, an out of my ever-increasing emotional fix. I can approach dinner with the same attitude as I approach nasty emails.  Should I fix this, I like it, I feel that I want it…but it’s not healthy.  Double servings of carbs and melting cheese won’t solve the real issue.  Neither will snaping back a snark-filled email to my boss.

Several years ago, I learned a very valuable lesson.  Sometimes successfully, other times not.  But when I have used it, I can look back (with a resolute happy sigh) that I’m so glad I did.

It is HALT.  Whenever you’re faced with a decision that you don’t know what to do.  Simply HALT.

So the letters are simply this.  If you are ANY of the following…Stop. Halt.

H – Hungry.

A – Angry

L -Lonely

T – Tired

Hunger – Being hungry can make us make nasty choices. There are television commercials that encourage you not to be “HANGRY,” just eat a Snickers.  Or the wise words your mother probably told you, “never go shopping hungry, you might buy things you shouldn’t.”  Personally, I have found being hungry can make me on edge.  I feel more irritable than usual, but eating a good meal helps me to think more clearly.  Or, that snickers I have buried in my purse…somewhere!

Angry – I will *painfully* admit, sometimes I do get angry.  While I wish it were at good things, like the crime rates in my local town, but no. It never really is at good things. It’s usually directed at my children upon discovering messy rooms, breaking up another fight between the siblings, and refereeing whose turn is next on the computer.  My emotions tend to run pretty high at this point.  I have learned that these times are NOT the best ones to turn and make other important decisions.  I’ve also noticed that I have to keep an eye on my calendar.  PMS is not my friend, but being aware of the dates, and knowing that I’m more susceptible to bouts of anger around that time helps (and reminds me) to step back and breathe!

Read also: Are you an emotional decision maker? Is this a BAD thing?

Lonely – In the early years of my marriage, I really struggled with this.  My emotions were going crazy because I was so lonely. My husband worked full time and was a full-time college student.  Then after he graduated, he worked full time.  We moved around a good bit, and while I made friends at church easily, I struggled with close relationships with other women and often found myself alone for hours a day.   I’m so thankful now that he works a less demanding job and I don’t have to face this as much.

Tired – There are people in the world who can live on 4 hours of sleep.  Not me. No way. Never. Ever. Ever.  Learning my sleep schedule as an adult working part-time, while taking care of small children and a husband has been vital for our marriage.  Sleep is something I literally have to schedule in. No, nothing is medically wrong, I’ve been checked out time and time again.  I’m just someone who needs a bit more rest to function at my peak.  I need it, and so do my emotions. And you know what?  That’s ok. It works for my household, and I accept that.    I could try and be like other mothers who are on the go from the crack of dawn till dusk, but our home would fall apart if I did that.  Learning what is good for me & my husband has been so crucial in our marriage.

So I encourage you, my dear reader, to remember to HALT.  And if you do, comment in the box below and let me know how it went.  Practice does make perfect, and utilizing this little acronym can change your life like it has mine.

The post HALT Your Emotions appeared first on Glowing Still Johanna Galyen.

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The Perfect Union of White & Dark Chocolate

Several years ago, I found myself walking around the Paris Charles de Gaulle airport.  I was in the middle of a very long journey home, and I was exhausted and hungry.  Previously that night, I had boarded a plane at midnight in Bangalore, India.

I had spent the morning saying goodbye to some very dear friends I had met in Bhadravathi, India. Took a 6-hour bus ride to Bangalore, shopped around the city, had a late-night dinner in a cool restaurant, and somehow managed to stay awake until midnight to board the plan

Nine long hours and 5-6 time zones later, I landed in Paris.  Deboarded the plane, took a 3-mile bus ride from the plane to the terminal, fought through construction zones, lengthy security checks, (thankfully some of the workers spoke enough English that I could figure out what was needed to do), and finally I was left with a 4 hours wait till my next flight back to America.

As you can imagine, survival instincts from exhaustion were starting to creep in.

Wandering around the Parisian airport, I just happened to find a chocolatier shop…and they were giving away free samples.

Fresh samples

So fresh, you actually could see behind a glass screen where the chocolates were being made.

I picked up one of those chocolates and bit into a piece of pure of heaven.

Perfectly smooth and creamy milk-chocolate heaven.

It was incredibly delicious, and just as it was written in the book Don Quixote

Hunger is the best sauce ~ Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

Time stopped for a few seconds as I savored that delicious bite of chocolate.  And yes, in case you were wondering, I think I heard angels singing.

Have you ever stepped back and realized that your marriage is a bit like chocolate?

There are the cheap kinds. Like those 99cent specials at Walmart?  Filled with nasty preservatives, wax, and some ingredients that only a chemist could pronounce.  There’s also cheap marriages. Supplied with quick lust and shallow promises.  Built solely on the wax of emotion, and a bit of heat shows the nastiness of the fake ingredients when the fires of disappointment come.

There are also the excellent European chocolates like Godiva and the Swiss Teuscher brands. Superfine chocolates made by professional chocolatiers. Filled with the finest cacao beans, creams, and fruits, they are a genuinely delectable experience by those privileged enough to try them.  Chocolate is a very versatile food as it can be served in savory and sweet dishes ~ also great in Fondue as written about here.

There are also fine marriages.  Ones that you look at in awe.  The couple seems to be a perfect match, compliment each other beautifully, filled with kindness & grace, and full of love.  Their eyes completely sparkle when they are together.  As the years roll by, their marriage only strengthens with time.

To make up these marriages require chocolate. The core ingredients.  There is white & dark chocolate.  2 types of chocolate that are entirely on different ends of the flavor spectrum, but still, are loved by people all over the world.    Some purist may say that white chocolate is not chocolate, but famous chocolatiers disagree.  A quality box of chocolates will include all varieties and flavors.

A good marriage is precisely the same.  Two people from different backgrounds, different cultures, maybe even different locations on the map.  These differences are not to be made prominent, and one is better than the other, but an acceptance of each other.  Each person brings a different set of skills, knowledge, and learning experiences to the marriage.

Marriage, like milk chocolate, represents the perfect union and blend of white & dark chocolate. Click To Tweet

Milk Chocolate represents the ideal marriage union.  White meeting Dark.  Sweet and soft meeting rich and bold. Colors swirling, sharp richness smoothing itself out to a perfect finish. Sweetness contrasting with bitter.  Together they meet in surrender and soar to new heights.

Softy and deftly, two merging into one.

And suddenly a new creation is born. No more is this chocolate considered white or dark.  It has wholly unified into a new sensation.

It is now one chocolate.

One Flesh

Just like your marriage. When you were pronounced Man & Wife, you are no longer two separate people, but now you are one.   Is your marriage merging into a new creation or is it still two different flavors?  Is your sharpness too much for your spouse?  Is one trying to be overly dominant in the relationship while the other fades into inexistence? Are your words dripping with sugar & cream, but never truthful?

Stop and reflect today.  What needs to happen in your marriage to keep you two as one flesh?  What is one thing that you can do right now to smooth out your perfect chocolate recipe?  Will you be left with a master recipe that your children will admire for decades to come or will you be trashed like the cheap leftovers?

You have each been given the perfect ingredients to work with. But it is your choice to decide what you will make with them.

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Comfort after a long and emotional day #comfort #glowingstill #anxiety #hope #meditation #bibleverse #godisgood https://www.instagram.com/p/BofitQoFvTR/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=uel8uq5tsgdo

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3 Reasons to Never Share Your Bed

Return to Normal – Finding the Love and Intimacy that Once Was Yours

Mommy, I’m scared of the thunder, can I come to your bed?

I don’t feel so good

Can I just sleep with you?

In my 14 years of parenting, and 15 years of marriage, in our home and our marriage bed, we have had one rule that we have fought to keep strong.

No kids allowed in our bed

I realize that this article may step on many toes and stir up some very strong feelings. You may disagree with me; you have very 1000 reasons against what I’m going to say. And that’s ok; I will still be friends with you and hey, let’s still go out for coffee or hot chocolate and hang out together and laugh.

(1) To survive, both parents need a full night of SLEEP and REST

(2) Children, while angelic looking, are rarely quietly sleepers in bed

(3) Sex is easier in a bed (and should not happen if a child is 5 inches away)

and just for fun – here are a few more reasons

(4) You need time to recharge yourself away from your children – even it is just for a little while.

(5) Teaching your child to sleep in their own bed is hard (in the short-term), but the benefits will pay off in the future

(6) Your spouse needs attention too – show them their worth by giving them your full attention

(7) Nursing babies are more complicated, but they too can learn to sleep in their crib

Yes, it is easier to just let your children sleep with you. The love and cuddles are nice, but it does not teach independence or helping the child learn to self-soothe themselves. They kick, wiggle, snore, move around, hiccup, and even poop in their sleep…All of which can keep you awake at night.

Start now to determine to encourage your children to sleep in their own bed, and spend the time with your spouse instead. In 18 years, the children will be gone and you might be left with a stranger in your bed instead of your loving spouse.

Read Also – Return to Normal Series; The One Thing You Were Not Expecting

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What Vacationing as a Family Taught Me about Marriage

Marriage, like a good vacation, requires a lot of work

This past week my family and I had some amazing adventures on the Carnival Dream – Carnival Cruise line. It was a super-fast week that we filled up with memories and adventures – and yes, a few sunburns as well. We visited Jamaica, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel for our port stops, and we had three sea days as well. Here are some of the lessons that I discovered while on vacation

Getting ready to board the Carnival Dream on Vacation

Vacation and work are opposites in most mindsets. Both require a lot of pre-planning, and that is where most people drop the connection. However, on this vacation, Stephen and I had to do a lot of work to keep the vacation going smoothly. We had to communicate – a lot!

Communication

One of the ways that we did this was through (wait for it!) a whiteboard. This simple whiteboard with colorful markers helped us share with each other where one was. Yes, in the digital age, we could have texted or signed up for chat plan on board, but we wanted to save money, so simple notes on the whiteboard let us tell each other where we were going. On the last day, I awoke to a note from Stephen saying he was reading somewhere in the shade!

We all got way too much sun on this vacation, and there aren’t too many shady public locations on the ship, so I quickly found him on deck 11 reading and enjoying the quietness!

By communicating clearly, we diminished the number of arguments and frustrations because we both knew what was going on.

Focusing on Memories, not Adventures

On Saturday night, I told the family that YES they had to be at dinner that night. I didn’t book an extra special restaurant or pay for a better meal; I simply insisted that we spend the time together. We laughed and joked, enjoyed watching our children’s faces as they interacted with the wait staff, hilariously observed our second son taste a mango ginger soup (he didn’t like it at all, and was unprepared for the spiciness of it!) and shared a nice meal together.

Click to view slideshow.

I have found that it is in the simple times of life that make the strongest memories together.  While I will miss a week off of cooking and cleaning, I will definitely remember the memories of the time that we spent together.

Alone Times are Ok

On Wednesday morning, we landed in Jamaica and set off for the Sunscape Resort. Ok, ya’ll this resort was so family friendly I could not believe it. Whenever I think of all-inclusive resorts, I typically think of just a couple’s resorts. And while these are important for vacations, having a family-friendly resort is important for people like me – with four children!

When we got there, we had a quick introduction and a mini-tour, in which they announced an included snorkeling tour. I was so excited!!!

I love to snorkel.

The next time you plan a vacation, remember to make it memorable and special - just like your marriage Click To Tweet

I’m just a newbie at snorkeling, but the few times that I have done it on my own have been so much fun. However, I’m not brave enough to go out very far on my own (not drowning is pretty high on my bucket list of life), but since this was a group excursion, I felt very comfortable in attempting my first group excursion.

The crew there were nice in helping me get the right size of mask and fins, offered life jackets for swimmers who needed it (I declined, since I know I can swim pretty good). And off we went. For thirty minutes, we bobbled and snorkeled through the Caribbean sea. Our guide dove down and got a female urchin for us to hold, and showed us various places that had the best colorful fish (and even the hidden flounder on the bottom of the sea!) I had such a great time doing this.

But remember? My husband and my four kids? None of them like to snorkel. Nope. Nada – and yes, I’ve tried to convince them. Maybe one day they will, but for now, they’ll have to practice in the shallows.

A family vacation means that sometimes you can do things that are not always together. My husband was so kind as to watch the kids and let me do something that meant a lot to me. He understood that while he couldn’t snorkel with me, he wanted me to have that adventure.

In marriage, being there to help each other out and allow the other person to have a special blessing (or perk!) is so crucial for a quality relationship. A marriage is a union of two people into one, but that doesn’t mean that that the individual personalities are gone.

The Vacation Dab

This little bit of ‘freedom’ and enjoyment alone, helped me to want to spend more time with the others.

Loving Another Person Sometimes Means Doing Things You Don’t Want

While I love snorkeling, going down waterslides is not one of my favorite tasks. There is just something about going down a tight, winding slide into a face (and nose-full) amount of water that is not appealing to me. Now, if I’m on an inner tube or raft, I tend to like waterslides more because the splashes are not so in-your-face.

My daughters love waterslides. A lot.

Read Also: Tips for Vacationing With Kids

They want to race down waterslides. Over and over again. Five stories tall? Even better in their opinion. My husband shares their opinion and also likes to do the toilet-bowl ones. These are the slides that have a steep slide/drop-off and place you into a round bowl where you speed around in a circle. Which means, you are getting dizzy AFTER being in a scary-tight (and dark) waterslide.

And so I did it. No, it was not my preferred activity for that afternoon, but it was something my family wanted to do together. And afterward, I am glad that I did it.  I did manage to remember to hold my nose and not get my sinuses rinsed out with pool water, and I successfully did the toilet-bowl slide without getting too dizzy. All in all, I call that a successful day!

Summing it all up:

A good family vacation, like a good marriage, requires planning to create special memories.  Being alone and doing activities that one person likes is ok for a short amount of time, but being together and doing waterslides (if that is what your family likes) is equally important.

So the next time you’re planning a vacation, step back and plan to make some great memories and adventures. It’s not the location of the vacation that will make memories, it is what you do on a moment-to-moment basis that will make the right difference.

Have you had an amazing vacation? Tell me about it and what made it so special!

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