Glowworm Theater

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YOU GOT SAJAK'D! Just shake it off and buy a Y. Win that trip to Tahiti.

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I'm bringing Jar Jar back, go 'head and tell them nerdy bitches that.

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Don't Do Nice Things or You'll Die: A Cautionary Tale

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"Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown! With farm-to-table love and cage-free hugs!" - Millennial Ghostbuster

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The Black Knight and Darth Vader were roommates in Bad Guy Community College. Explains their dual love for black helmets.

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I'm not not saying this is why B. Murph wasn't long for this world, but I'm also not not not saying it.

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If the zombies don't get you, then diabetes will.

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The ironic thing is cupcakes are banned from Gwyn's GOOP cookbook.

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You try and Google "Russell Crowe smiling" and find a good photo. SHIT DOESN'T EXIST. What happened to you, Russ? What went wrong.

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What's in your wallet? Hopefully not snakes.

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The sad thing is we all know he'll never truly be satisfied. Not on this beautiful day, even if he gets uno, dos, tres or catorce hats.

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We got a Wilson Phillips cassingle tape in our Xmas stockings in 1990, but shhhhh don't tell anyone we're that old. I can't believe we just dated ourselves! Who are we kidding, who wouldn't date us?!? :P

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If you're lost, you can look,

and you will find me.

Time after time.

If you fall, I will catch you.

I will be waiting...

Time after time.

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Neil deGrasse Tyson: breaking hearts in more ways than one since 1958.

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He's a Kindergarten Cop, not a Kindergarten Doc! He's not educated enough to make a diagnosis! Let him go to Kindergarten Medical School and finish his residency, but even then he STILL needs to get licensed! Just stay alive, Elephant Man. Just stay alive until then.

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"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - 1-800-FLOWERS