no betch, betch no

boys annoy me, they just can't afford me when I want it, I get it 'cause I'm sugar daddy's little girl max your credit, you won't regret it when you want it, you get it 'cause I am sugar daddy's little girl

[laughcentre]

[wrywlf]

it’s been years since i’ve first seen this comic and i still think it has one of the best punchline delivers of anything i’ve ever seen

[the-moonlight-witch]

Avatar + tumblr

[wine-emoji]

this reminds of when harry asked mcgonagall to sign his permission slip to go to hogsmeade and now i can’t stop laughing

[tattsunsan]

when ur fancy but salty af

[ainyanan-deactivated20181121]

[softdalliance]

Bennett’s shoes clicked against the polished tiles as he walked inside the lavish home and towards the living room. He’d knew he’d be in the bad books  for having to cancel their lunch date, but he hoped  his little present would help earn forgiveness. “This is because I know you were looking forward to our  lunch, and I because I’m sad about upsetting you.”  He said, revealing the Sephora bag full of new  makeup products she’d been babbling about for weeks. 

[gnnabtmblrfmous]

How dare he! She had spent weeks organizing this date; trading days off, kissing ass and flirting with horrid coworkers to get this brunch spot at some fucking fancy tea shop. She woke up early and got her make up done professionally. This dress- which she was probably going to return- was just purchased this morning. Now all her effort was to just go down the drain?  She was so caught in her head that she hadn’t noticed him come in until he spoke. “What is that,” She asked taking the bag away from him. “It’s not even gift wrapped? It would have taken an extra 5 mins to make this pretty-” Yes, she was extremely happy over this but she wouldn’t let him off so easy.

[satanfictive-old]

Nice legs. Daisy dukes. Makes a man go. There he goes. He’s gone.

[gnnabtmblrfmous]

“Why are you still with that son of a bitch? Weren’t you two like, fighting three minutes ago?” 

[oversacces-blog]

“What do you think? That I don’t want kids? That just because I have a criminal record… my feelings don’t matter?” Jesus feels like crying, cannot believe that the love of his life doesn’t want offspring, doesn’t want mini versions of them running around their yard, making a chaotic mess in their kitchen. Its enough to bring him to tears. “Why? How could you say that?”

[gnnabtmblrfmous]

“N-yeah. I don’t want little shits running around and eating all my food.” Candy looked up from her phone for a second before continuing to scroll on Instagram. “I didn’t think you would care... you’re free to go and knock up some other bitch but I’m not harboring any parasites in my womb,” she says the last part with a laugh.