It’s Dnd Bruh @gnomemensland - Tumblr Blog

I started this project about this time last year and have finally completed this, the Major Arcana set. Thank you to the people who supported me on ko-fi and helped move this project slowly forward during this bizarre plague-year. ✨

theregoesmylurkerstatus

Caleb has, verbally, shown so little bloodthirst regarding the people who wronged him. He doesn’t know how he feels. He doesn’t know what he wants. He wants them to change, he wants the pain to stop. He wants to rehabilitate all these murderers under Ikithon because he was one of them and he wants to believe he’s not alone in this, he wants them to get better.

He also takes three steps into the place where he was sealed away like some kind of animal, full of simple (if skilled) guards who are so much lower on the food chain than the assassins Caleb knows… and for the first time ever he starts crushing people to death. Gone is the soft talk and hesitant hope. He asserts that they knew what they were doing. That they were not innocents.

He spent eleven years there. He can’t remember it. He also can’t think of the people who did that to him as people, whether they were actually the ones that guarded him or not.

I think Caleb’s trauma and his ability to react with extreme prejudice when confronted with it often gets underestimated both by the audience and Caleb himself. There’s a really interesting dichotomy that seems to go on with him, in that we’re constantly taken somewhat aback by these breathtaking displays of violence of his, even though they keep happening.

I realised it when we first met Astrid, actually. I don’t know about anyone else, but the revelation that Caleb’s reaction to watching his parents die wasn’t running in to help them, or screaming himself, or even dissociating, but was instead attacking his peers? It surprised the heck out of me.

I don’t think anyone thought that would have been his reaction. All the pieces of fiction or art or meta about that moment that I saw assumed he had a much more passive or help oriented reaction. Even the cast themselves animated that moment as Astrid and Eodwulf stoically walking away from a silent Caleb on his knees in their own animated title sequence.

The fact that we all accepted the image of Caleb, on his knees, silently watching his family burn, is interesting to me. Because I do get why.

When Caleb is forcefully reminded of that moment of extreme grief, he dissociates. He doesn’t react violently when lost in his trauma in that particular way. Add to that that Caleb brushes over the immediate aftermath of his parent’s deaths, which makes it seem like his foggy, clouded state in the Asylum was the instant result of his trauma, and the idea that Caleb reacted passively to his parent’s deaths is a very easy assumption to make.

At this point I believe it’s also indicative of how Caleb sees himself. Caleb hates (hated?) himself, yes, but he doesn’t actually seem to see himself as a violent person. When asked to impress a high level mage from an alien culture, he chose the versatile reskinned Bigby’s Hand, Cat’s Ire. When trying to be intimidating, he uses his words, or points to his friends as threats, or uses Frumpkin as a prop.

He doesn’t seem to give his ease with violence much thought or weight in his own view of himself. I think he assumed he was passive during his years at the Sanitarium, and so therefore assumed that his “breaking” was similar. And if that’s what Caleb thought of himself, why would we think any different?

People don’t tend to think of Caleb as a fighter, least of all Caleb himself. The common view of him is that he’s a hesitant support character. He’s not someone who fans or other characters alike would easily call “bloodthirsty,” especially with him confronting and discussing the man who ruined his life and refusing to commit to killing him.

Everything about how Caleb verbally approaches these traumas shows that he’s not vengeance driven. Revenge has never been part of his game plan, never been something he cared enough to pursue. And because of that palpable lack of bloodthirsty vengeance, because of his soft spoken, cautious demeanor, Caleb is not someone who would generally be picked as having extreme, unrelenting violence as his knee-jerk reaction.

Except that’s exactly what Caleb does when backed into a corner. That’s like his biggest move. Wall of Fire and Fireballing Avantika and her crew on a hair trigger? Bleeding, on the verge of unconsciousness, out of spells, and still managing to deal the killing blow on Lorenzo because he chose violence over any other action? Opening the final fight against Obann by smashing through the window and burning half the cultists to death, because they were that desperate to get Yasha back after two failed attempts?

He woke up after eleven years of being addled, confused and not himself, and immediately killed a guard and broke out of the Assembly’s own Saitarium in the heart of Rexxentrum. He unexpectedly got stabbed by a full-fledged Scourger, and his instant reaction was to beat her over the head with a rock.

And now, he’s infiltrated that same Sanitarium where he was kept only to flip from his desire to redeem those under the Assembly’s thumb to murdering half the people he came across in there with extreme prejudice.

His lack of interest in long-term vengeance is interestingly balanced by his frequent choices to pursue short-term retribution. It’s both his way of protecting his friends and himself, removing the threat and discouraging other threats, but it’s also, in my view, frequently an outlet for his heavily suppressed anger at the people who hurt him and his friends.

Caleb can be a good diplomat, but Caleb rarely chooses to be a diplomat. Caleb can be charming, but Caleb doesn’t like being charming. Caleb can be a good support caster, and Caleb is a support caster! But when he’s too compromised for strategy, when he stops thinking, he starts burning everything in his way. Because Caleb? He likes the way fire feels.

Caleb spent his formative years training to respond to conflict, physical or political, with lethality, and on a much more fundamental level, he is and always has been a man of action.

He took action to get out of the Sanitarium as soon as he was capable. He took action in the Bright Queen’s throne room, made a risky ploy instead of letting them be arrested. He wanted to take action retroactively against his parent’s deaths the second he regained coherency.

Despite what we all assumed, doing nothing in the face of his parent’s deaths was never an option for Caleb, and he wasn’t taught anything that was going to help his parents once the house was on fire and the screams started. So what else was he going to do, after two years of growing into the Scourger mould? When he loses his mind, his ability to think, two of his reasons to care?

Of course it was violence. Of course it was lashing out at the people he must have thought, on some level, as being in his way. Of course it was fire. What else would it be?

And though these circumstances here aren’t the same… there are enough similarities. He’s once again in those familiar halls (in that familiar mindset) where he was treated as a weapon, nothing more. He’s with the people he loves and he knows they’re in danger, again. In fact, they’re in danger from the same people he spent eleven years feeling threatened by, that he viewed as obstacles, whether consciously or not.

He doesn’t want his loved ones to be in danger. He doesn’t want to be surrounded by the guards who he associates with his own helplessness. He especially doesn’t want those two things to go together. And he has never been able to sit idly by when he can act. But what kind of actions can he take? What can he do to get these guards away, away from him, away from his friends, out of his way, right now?

The tried and true method. Not burning, not here, not now, let’s not set a building on fire with his loved ones in it again (though it happened anyway). But no matter. He’s learned a lot of tricks in the last few months.

And hey, don’t worry, Caleb’s not angry. He’s not still working through his own pain and rage at these people. He really does want to heal, not hurt.

It’s just that these ones deserved it.

gnomemensland

Food for thought ❤️

paintedwarpony

C2E126 MANIFEST LIST

Wizards Say No World Tour continues

Astrid refuses to help but Eodwulf does

Return of some not so subtle Cadwulf

Confirmed Eodwulf Multiclass and return of my War Cleric Theory

Quick drop in on Thaydee

Quick drop in at Zadash and pick up Pumat

Ninja Cat Beauyasha Tower Date

Trip to Xhorhas

Bright Queen and Dusk Captain

Essek's goblin buddy is a good person and not just using him while he's vulnerable

Bazzoxan

V E R I N and the Bazzoxan Boys

The Nein start collecting martial help over magical

Alot of poking at Caleb for dropping from 101HP to 87HP

Drop ins on the families Lavorre, Brenatto and Clay

Marian gives Fjord a shovel speech

Teleport back to Eiselcross is non-injury but wild magic shenanigans filled

The Nein attempted to get to Eiselcross early to account for travel time back to the Vurmas Outpost

They land somewhere insane in Eiselcross

Cad gets more cocoa pods

WILDCARD PICK

Any kind of Shadowgast content

Anything that soothes some of Essek's anxiety

paintedwarpony

Alright here we go...

C2E125 MANIFEST LIST

Hints that Yussa is actually a dragon

Talking to Halas the Gem Wizard

Halas being ridiculously knowledgeable about the Somnovum but refusing to tell anyone anything

Fjord and the Fish Market Saga continues

RUBY OF THE SEA

Mama Marion gives Fjord a shovel speech

Yeza and Luc and Nugget

ORLY

Seeing the Nein Heroez at port

MARIUS and the off chance Marius killed someone

Beauyasha Date

More classic Jester Sendings

Veth and Jester continue to plot to Parent Trap Marion and the Gentleman

Beau and Caleb hit up the Cobalt Soul

Revealed the Threshold Crest got sent somewhere random in the Empire

Plans to return to Xhorhas briefly

Talking about Essek, maybe dicussing contacting his brother (Verin) or Starguide Uraya

Rexxentrum visit to contact Astrid and Eodwulf

Somebody in the cast wears an adorable sweater

Someone mentions Omar, Sprigg or Henry

Meta from the cast how its so much like the Chroma Conclave

PUMAT

Some shopping results in a rare find

WILDCARD PICK

Allurya Vysoren contacted/arrives with Kima of Vord or Shaun Gilmore in tow

V E R I N in person please

Not gonna lie. I knew we would end up back in Nicodranas sooner than later but I'm surprised they're risking it with the endgame nigh...

We need another cow episode

After all this madness....

#critical role #critrole #vox machina #mighty nien

I think the cast is so put off by Essek because Essek reflects the worsts parts of themselves/the parts of themselves they don’t want to admit exist.

But idk if we’re ready for that convo

(Also, no hate with this post. Just an observation. I love these guys and respect that their characters are complex and have flaws. That’s what makes them interesting characters. Perfect is boring. Be kind, you guys ❤️)

#critical role #critrole #mathew mercer #essek thelyss #caleb widowgast #talks machina #talks #brian foster #sam’smustachegivesmenightmares #mighty nien

cardinaldaughter

Okay so I got a reply to my most recent post about Essek but my response is too long to fit in a reply there, so I’m making a new post because it’s 4:30 am and I have insomnia and I am over people’a bullshit.

The response was this: “When they last saw Essek he didn't want to take responsibility for his actions and wanted to continue reaping the fruits of his crime. That probably didn't do much to endear to the M9 and they had things to do. It's not the M9's job to babysit Essek. Caleb was pretty much forced to stay with the Nein for lack of better options. Essek doesn't have that problem, redemption needs to be in his own hands”

So okay. Let’s address this.

Fine, sure. They can’t babysit Essek. That’s fair. But I take issue with “Caleb was pretty much forced to stay with them” because, no he wasn’t. In fact Liam has said multiple times that CLeb was ready to run at any moment and wanted to a few times. Only reason he didn’t? Liam would have to make a new character. So, Caleb stayed. No one forced Caleb to stay, nor Liam to keep him around.

As for Essek not wanting to “take responsibility”. Essek helped negotiate the peace talks. He didn’t want to be turned in for his crimes, but he actively helped end the war alongside the Mighty Nein. Did he still do bad things? Yep. Not gonna deny that. They were pretty shady.

But if we’re gonna talk about “taking responsibility” for bullshit, then let’s fucking talk.

Beau is an established criminal and within the first couple episodes committed mail fraud, which is played for laughs.

Jester is only in this campaign because, after humiliating a paying customer of her mother’s, rather than take responsibility for her actions, ran away from home. Yes, Sharpe’s demands for her punishment were unreasonable, but she still avoided taking any responsibility and had to disguise herself for a while when going home so as not to be caught.

Plus, the Nein do the exact same thing to that same man later on, playing it for laughs, for no reason other than they can.

Not to mention, they spend hours in some of the most boring and frustrating parts of the entire campaign, figuring out some stupid elaborate scheme for Artagan- who begs Jester to lie for him rather than Take Responsibility for his deceit. She could have said “hey the traveler lied I was deceived too he’s not a god sorry everyone” but no they invoke another god and lie to everyone at traveler con and when the moonweaver sends a messenger to teach artagan a lesson, rather than let him face some consequence, jester pleads for him to be spared, thus allowing him to basically learn nothing.

They were cruel to Celia, for no other reason than she was a bit snooty and conceited.

Caleb is a fucking murderer and yes he has extreme trauma and has suffered unjustly at the hands of his abusers but he also committed murder and i know he is Very Sorry and full of regret but if we wanna talk about Taking Responsibility, the best thing he could do is turn himself in and go to prison for it.

Oh and never mind the fact that the empire kids and Veth committed treason against the empire by handing the beacon over to the enemy of the state. Which Caleb only did as a last resort to avoid going to prison for them killing dynasty scouts. Like, the empire sucks but treason is still treason. They were at war. The authorities in the empire wanted the beacon. They gave it to the “enemy”. I don’t see anyone offering to own up to that.

Remember when they stole a boat and changed the name of it and lied to the dock master guy to keep from getting in trouble?

Remember when a member of the assembly was murdered on their watch and rather than report it to the authorities and let them handle it they stole the corpse, put it in the bag of holding, and dragged it along with them? (Yes bigger things are going on and “proper authorities” would be unequipped to handle the Truth of it all, but this is about Taking Responsibility, and not reporting the murder of a high ranking government official is pretty irresponsible.)

Yasha killed members of the colbalt soul, and yeah she was mind controlled and that’s awful and tragic, but people are still dead by her hands.

They ignore the fact that the gentleman is tied, either directly or indirectly, to trafficking, bc it’s more fun to joke about parent-trapping him and Marion than stopping whatever illegal activities he’s doing.

Nott-and I cannot stress this enough- knowing full well how devastating the war was on people, including her own family, was willing to Let. The. War. Continue. to break her curse.

None of the above truly bother me. It’s D&D. It’s supposed to be ridiculous and fantastical and fun and removed somewhat from reality. I don’t care about any of the Nein’s crimes. But if they are going to hold Essek to some unreasonably high moral standard while ignoring their own moral failings, then I’m going to call bullshit on them, and bullshit on the people saying he needs to Take Responsibility when the same can be said for nearly all of them. I don’t care how much they’ve changed or grown or felt remorse. If the issue here is a lack of Taking Responsibility for shitty actions, then the Nein have absolutely no room to judge anyone.

gnomemensland

Preach. I love them but...preach

FJORD GOT BRANDED

I feel like in the heat of the episode, we kinda forgot about that....

#critical role #critrole #mathew mercer #fjord #cr beauregard #cr veth #caduceus clay #mollymauk #lucien

Brian as a Guest??

I would lose my mind if Brian Foster would be a guest character on a future critical role episode. I’m not kidding. My brain (not Brian) would physically pop out of my skull, wonder off into some trench and begin to traverse the wondrous world of the outdoors, while I search in the middle of the night for where it went before bribing it with cabbage to come back. (Still talking about my brain, not Brian).

But seriously, how fun would having Brian Foster guest on a critical role campaign 2 episode be?

Also, absolute side note, but do you ever think that maybe the first person to name the brain “Brain” might have been dyslexic and meant to name it “Brian” after themselves but mixed up the “a” and the “i” when writing it down? I think about this more than I should.

#critical role #brian foster #talks machina #critrole #mathew mercer #caleb widowgast #mollymauk tealeaf #lucien #mighty nien #beauyasha #cr veth #fjord #fjordisfromthemoonandyesIwilldieonthishill #cabbage man

Snacks for tonight’s 5hour Ep?? I’m making some boba to hold me through the next character death - or Sea-Avantica and Fjord’s 4 hour sex trip

#critical role #mathew mercer #fjord #avantica #critrole #cr beauregard #cr veth #caleb widowgast #caduceus clay #mollymauk tealeaf #yasha

Extra Long Ep 123 BINGO!!!

Totally got this idea from a post I saw earlier by @acentrics, so please check our their board as well!!

I just liked how the little doodles came out for my own board and thought I’d share:

#critical role #mathew mercer #fjord #beauyasha #jester #caleb widowgast #caduceus clay #cr veth #mollymauk #lucien #battle #critrole #yasha #cr beauregard

Guys I know why the episode is 5 hours.

Fjord is finally going to confirm he’s from the moon.

#critical role #fjord #jester #caleb widogast #yasha #mollymauk tealeaf #mathew mercer #cr veth #caduceus clay #cr beauregard #critrole

slayerscake

Why is the next episode going to be long? Wrong answers only.

gnomemensland

I love this

ltkaidanalenko

plot twist: molly is not molly anymore, is a totally different person. when they meet him, matt gestures to someone to enter the room.

brian w. foster walks in

gnomemensland

T.H.I.S👏👏

In light of the there being no Thursday episode, I now no longer understand that Thursday did in fact happen as I pass time by pre cr, post cr, pre talks, in between talks and pre cr

(Obviously I respect them needing a week off!!)