[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[mevil]

[waskitty]

i’m so glad i’ve never gotten over anything in my life it makes listening to music so fun

[pissvortex]

Excuse me heroin addicted teenage Walmart employee can you unlock the cabinet full of things to put up my ass please

[shetheyslain]

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

[perfectanimal]

?

[sisyphusshrugged]

let's be several years behind together

[oupyfactory]

maybe the single funniest twitter comment I've ever seen

[miquellakind]

crack the egg of sympathy and make the omelette of compassion

[godlessondheimite]

i have a “this stripper really likes me” thing with my dog’s vet except instead of liking me, i think he especially likes my dog. he really sells the illusion that my dog is one of his favorite patients and that’s why i continue to pay quite frankly crazy prices.

[segamascott]

[fairycosmos]

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

[anchovy]

I really like it when horses look like this

[dogpuppy]

mr. beast in 2008

[gaycop]

glow down

[cpericardium]

hey everyone "I" have something to show "you"

[cpericardium]

[cpericardium]

[fairycosmos]

what if i just manipulate reality with my mind and make everything perfect and good

[sailatina3]

There's like. Millions of people who genuinely think that touching your wee wee while looking at a drawing will cause severe brain damage and they spend hours engaging in this belief and incorporating it into their politics. Their politics.

[chilewithcarnage]

sorry gotta get my ‘friend that’s too woke’ on but I don’t think the solution to misogyny is more misogyny. like by all means rip into republican/right wing women but your critiques should be about how they’re evil soulless people not ‘haha they’re ugly/visibly aged. they don’t know how to put on make up!’ like i don’t fucking know man I don’t think any woman at all should be required to wear makeup or be made fun of for not wearing it ‘properly’ also let’s stop doing the ‘not conventionally attractive = morally bad’ thing. that last part especially be kicking y’all asses.