everything would be easier if I were just fucking dead

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@goatmannnn
everything would be easier if I were just fucking dead
sometimes I feel like I’m not meant to live past 30 years old at the absolute maximum. either the being fat will get me or I’ll get me, whichever comes first
This baby is soooooooo cute
“This is Lola. She likes cheese.”
(via)
cheese shark
This could literally be an Onion article
Spending a nice 5 minutes in the Despair Pod before a union-busting robot physically pulls me out
unionising employees get sent to the mindfulness booth to atone for their sins
checked it out and uh
‘small room’ is generous, motherboard
THATS. THE SIZE OF MY SHOWER OH MY GOD
“you are a lawyer and he is a hamster” is one of the funniest statements ive ever had the pleasure of reading
AUTO REBLOG
My gf is an actual amab cis girl. They wrote male on her birth certificate by mistake
holy shit tell your girlfriend congrats on the fun gender
In an odd inversion, my cis grandfather was marked as female on his DEATH certificate.
This is the only thing that brings me joy
god being horny is the fucking WORST
deadpool but his name is cancerman instead
i hate the internet for giving me interests. how dare they teach me to love more than one thing
me: *isolates myself from group of people on tumblr who literally could not be dumber and gets hate anons and rude ass comments*
oh no whatever shall i do. i won’t have the distinct privilege of interacting with people whose opinions are harmful and stupid as all fuck. whatever shall i do
thinking about how when i turned off anon on my main account, people stopped trying to pick fights with me
in this world its either peg or be pegged
wishing my ex would give me the chance to be ruthlessly mean to them
north korea but its actually a giant, detailed experiment to see if you can make the book 1984 into a real thing