Astrid

any pronouns disabled, ace and queer

[goblingardens]

Will I ever stop mourning me being asexual?

I’ve known since I was a like 14, I’m 26 now, but I keep gaslighting myself because I still hope I’m not. In every relationship I’ve had I’ve tried so hard to be as allo as I can, and it’s only made scared of dicks lmao :)) like sex can be okay the first minute but then it’s so boring wth (and don’t get me started on making out holy shit)

It makes dating so hard, because I always feel like someone has to compromise to be with me and I can’t handle the guilt of that. Wth am I supposed to do then?? Here’s to hoping I find someone to share my life with who I can kiss and cuddle and not feel bad about stopping there

To quote my dear boyo ca$h; «it’s not fair, I would do anything. Why is it the one thing I can’t change about myself?»

[quinnigallagherjones]

DOUGLAS 'CASH' PIGGOTT my favourite outfits | requested by @lokibus

[goblingardens]

My guys Will McDonald appreciation post because hot damn him in baby tee’s this season??? I’m obsessed and he’s SO HANDSOME WTH

[alistairlowe]

[asexualenjolras]

CA$H PIGGOTT.

I need to talk about Cash Piggott and how important his character is to the asexual community.

I absolutely adore the fact that Cash calls people out on their acephobia and never, ever apologises for who he is. He doesn't think he's broken.

In season one, we see Darren say "you know what, I think there's something really fucking wrong with you, Cash," and Cash immediately, with no hesitation, screams "well fuck you then".

In season two, we see Dusty say that he's being selfish asking Darren to give up sex and he immediately stands up and says "fuck this" because he knows he doesn't have to listen to people making him feel bad about his sexuality.

And when he's talking to his nan about it, Cash says "it's not fair, I would do anything, why does it have to be the one thing I can't change about myself?"

In every single one of these scenes, we never see Heartbreak High blame Cash for his sexuality. We never see him apologise to anyone for not feeling sexual attraction, and we never see him feel guilty about it, or try to change who he is.

CA$H recognises that his sexuality might be difficult for people to accept and understand, but he never lets other people make him feel like he's broken, or flawed. And that's so powerful to see.

Because asexual people are not broken. And we can't be fixed. And we are not being selfish for putting in boundaries.

I absolutely adore Douglas Piggott. He means the world to me, and this representation is so, so important.

[goblingardens]

Ca$h basically saying «I care too much about you to sleep with you» is so important to me!!!! And absolutely something I’ll take with me in my next relationship, because once I’ve let that boundary be crossed it makes everything a lot harder and I start resenting the other person for it.

10/10 ace representation, honestly no notes, I love him and feel so seen!!!!

[esperantoauthor]

Can anyone explain to me why Darren and Ca$h didn't kiss at all in season 3?

I get that Ca$h is asexual and I think he said he liked kissing so it seems like they should have either mentioned it or not made that choice.

[goblingardens]

I’ve also been thinking about this!! And I have two theories, one of them makes me kind of sad though

The first (and hopefully the right one) is that Cash just isn’t all that into it, and that once the honeymoon stage was over he’d rather not do it!

The sad one (because I’m ace myself and scared this would happen to me) is that kissing is just too hard for them because it makes Darren want more and makes Cash feel bad for not giving more..

So I hope it’s the first one hhhhh

[goblingardens]

Okay a few thoughts on Ca$h, <3my beloved<3, especially in relation to 🖕Chook🖕

A lot of people think Chook sa’d him, and that’s why he’s so touchy, but I honestly think it’s just because he knows how uncomfortable it makes Cash. Could you imagine an easier way to make a person with a freeze response feel helpless than simply touching them too much?

It’s such an easy and inconspicuous way for him to dominate without anyone else even knowing (even Cash, who would probably think it’s just Chook «being a bro» and he’s overreacting).

It also makes me sick to see the young boys Chook and the crew are grooming, similarly to how he groomed Cash. Considering how lenient he is towards cash after ratting them out and leaving, I’m thinking he was probably Chook’s first boy. Especially considering Chook says «it’ll only be us two, just like the old days».

All in all Cash probably viewed Chook as his older brother and vice versa to a certain extent. Chook is extremely antisocial and buddied up to him while learning which ‘weaknesses’ to exploit later on. Aka Cash’s stutter, asexuality, his nan, later Darren as well. Meanwhile Cash has tried to not show his weaknesses, leaving him dissociated/compliant when with the eshays, both out of fear of being abused but also being left.

This is my rambling after just rewatching all three seasons in two days, I’ll let ya know if I get more thoughts

[inverse-galatea]

no you don't understand i'm so normal about darren and cash

like darren isn't just hypersexual. they literally used sex as a way to survive. when they got kicked out of their mom's house, they went to their hookup's place to have sex with him and so they'd have a place to stay. it's a coping mechanism for them. they've likely internalized that sex is something (the only thing) they're good at, and if they can't give that to cash, then maybe he won't want them around anymore.

on the other hand, cash is ace. he's clearly had sex before, likely unwanted while he was still figuring out his asexuality. it's something that's expected of him. and what he has with darren is so good that he doesn't want to ruin it by having sex with darren while also feeling like if he doesn't have sex with darren he's also ruining the relationship.

i just think they both clearly have complicated relationships with sex that are deeper than just hypersexual vs asexual. it's the way they've used sex or had sex used against them in past relationships. and below all that they really do love each other. and i'm so so normal about it

[sapphirebluejewel]

Endless List of Characters I Love - Ca$h Piggot

"I know what you want. I see it every time you look at me. I'm just not wired that way."

[alistairlowe]

[nothewitch]

actually going insane because i love him so bad 🙂‍↕️

[axel-tiredstudent]

bugs when u lift up a rock

[castanhadecajuu]

I NEED more ppl to be talking about cash from heartbreak high bc my god it’s the only canonically ace character that ever made me feel represented as an asexual, he’s not some bland two dimensional plot device that’s there to teach allosexuals about asexuality and he’s also not a character that gets like five seconds of screen time he actually feels like a three dimensional person do you know how rare that is

[navpike]

the little guys. they are in my brain. rotating about like little rotisserie chickens. spinning around like rocks in a tumbler. all their backstories in a little rolodex.

[goblingardens]

Yesssir I am back on my Caleb shit, this time in Legos👹

A little Volstrucker blumendrei for my D&D shelf because I deserve it🙂‍↕️ (and yes the glass is because of Astrid’s backstory tihi)

[skltart]

caleb is a hozier girlie, i know it in my heart

[goblingardens]

This has been stuck in my head for DAYS

Caleb is me, I am Caleb (ace variety)

[goblingardens]

It’s been more than a year and it still lives there rent free, it’s a permanent part of me by now

[goblingardens]

There’s just something so personal to me about Essek and Caleb both living too much in their heads and having too much trauma to be a standard couple who lives a domestic life, but still being romantic partners who meet up to share stories, study and spend quality time🥹

Longing victorian wives when they’re apart, absolutely obsessed with each others brains when they’re together

[thealternatemind]

FINALLY REACHED E97 ON MY CRITICAL ROLE C2 REWATCH

[thealternatemind]

“Lord Dezran Thain” you say?