okay so i have been reading and watching romance media since i was very young, like 9. i do consider myself a radfem but i just feel like my love for messy and toxic het relationships in fiction is hypocritical. some things are dark romance. yeah there are things i read as a young girl that i revisit and they’re too misogynistic but i do still enjoy ship dynamics like true enemies to lovers more than romances with ‘green flags.’ IDK do you think this is something to unpack and work through even though I just view these fictional men and relationships as completely separate from real life? thank you
I mean I’m not going to say that it’s COMPLETELY removed from any societal conditioning because that’s just silly but I don’t think it’s that serious. I think we all enjoy a lot of things in fiction that we don’t necessarily condone in real life.
I read mostly silly lighthearted romcoms but I’m a sucker for ML’s that start out kinda cold and broody, but I don’t really have an interest in real life men.
Not the best comparison but I like to use horror movies as an example. Lots of people enjoy horror movies but most people don’t actually want to see people get murdered and/or be victimized by a serial killer
I also think it’s fine to enjoy some toxic media sometimes on occasion as long as you can acknowledge it’s toxic, I mean I love diabolik lovers (mostly ironically bc it’s ridiculous) but the top meme in the fandom is literally “nobody’s a good person just pick your favorite abusive vampire and enjoy the ride”. I also still love watching Inuyasha, Kamisama Kiss & some of the other questionably healthy relationships from some of the old shojos.
Honestly I think we need more radfems and stuff in these spaces so we can help change the genre for the better…idk how long ago it was that you were 9 but as someone who was also reading manga at 9 I remember seeing and reading some really toxic and weird stuff in the early 2000’s, I was really happy to see a push for better male leads in the 2010’s, and even now we continue to improve
I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare
I’ve talked about this a lot but something that I think makes it painfully obvious that men see how horrific both rape and forced impregnation and birth are is the movie Alien (1979). Alien came right behind Roe v Wade, of the Hyde act, serious discussions on pregnancy discrimination, and Commonwealth v Pitchford, where a woman who gave herself an “illegal abortion” with knitting needles was put on trial for manslaughter. All this touches back on the fact that horror is very much tied to public fears and broader societal conversations.
In the making of Alien, H.R. Giger wanted the face hugger to be hermaphrodictic in appearance, but him and dir Ridley Scott both wanted the first victim of the alien to be a man because they knew a man being orally raped and impregnated then murdered by the ‘birth’ of that thing would be more shocking than if it was a woman. They know how horrifying it is. Which somehow makes it more sinister that when it’s women actually experiencing it that isn’t not seen as torture. A man being forcibly impregnated (yes with a monster but it’s a horror movie and that argument goes out the window when they specifically wanted a man as the victim to be more horrific) and killed by it is what made what is widely recognized as one of the best scifi horror films in existence.
They know how horrific it is, they just don’t care because it doesn’t happen to them and because they don’t see women as humans.
My coworker and I were talking about the wildfires and he said they’re probably doing it on purpose so they can build data centers and y’know what he might be onto something
Always funny to me when indie devs who already sell games for dirt cheap participate in steam sales with like 90 percent off. Like. "Yeah this game is three dollars but you can have it for one right now." Like your game costs as much as a pack of m&ms and youre selling it for the cost of a pack of m&ms in the 1950s now? Okay
Every time a sexist practice gets rebranded as "self-expression," women are expected to celebrate our own conditioning. Liberation isn't about finding new ways to decorate the cage. It's about questioning why the cage exists in the first place. If a practice overwhelmingly benefits patriarchal expectations while demanding women's time, money, pain, and energy, then maybe it's worth asking who that practice is really serving.
Men absolutely love it when a woman is a horrible person. They can be violently misogynistic without receiving any sort of backlash because everyone thinks it’s valid when it’s not. I’ve seen men say some terribly vile things about Courtney love and Taylor Swift. They aren’t the best people, fair enough, but saying that they’re evil and that they should die? Crazy. They don’t even say that stuff about pedophiles and rapists. They get so happy when a woman does something shitty it’s like it fuels them.
I don't think we deserve to continue as a species if we can't collectively protect children from abuse exploitation and pedophilia. I think we will never truly grasp how damaging that has been to the entire human race.
Not the old one, the one he carried when he was Gale, the Wizard of Waterdeep - a gorgeous, leather-and-silver bound thing that bulged with a lifetime's worth of accumulated knowledge. There were spells in there penned over wine and cheese with Elminster; in a flow state that bordered on the spiritual after a night with Mystra, remembering her instruction, the feel of her soul against his. That spellbook was the testament to his success, the proof that he had excelled beyond the excellent -
And then Mystra cut him off from the Weave, and it all become meaningless.
His own runes, rendered incomprehensible; beautiful spell-glyphs that turned from condensed power and knowledge to worthless pieces of art. He has to start anew, from the ground up - reforging his connection to the Weave without Mystra's guidance (without her, without), relearning schoolboy spells. Humiliatingly easy magic, the kind he used to do like it was breathing, except this time he has to study and work and try and try, Tara urging him on with firm but gentle words.
He learns different spells, now. Mage Armour, Shield, Magic Missile. Not the kind of spells that he'll ever need on a day-to-day basis; spells that'll keep him alive long enough when he makes an exodus to the depths of the Underdark, or the centre of some desert wastes, and goes supernova.
The new spellbook is a plainer thing, small enough to fit in a robe pocket (because extradimensional storage spaces are no longer things he can make with a thought). And then he's snatched by a Nautiloid, and... honestly, he'd swear that the spine just wants to hold onto blood-spatters, no matter how many times he cleans them out. The pages get spotted from all the times he's had to flick them open in driving rain; the corners get creased from being shoved in and out of his robes.
And absolutely nothing can protect it from the unstoppable force of his friends.
Karlach nearly sends the whole thing up in flames one night by gesticulating a bit too wildly. Wyll laughs too hard one night and sprays wine all over Gale's new notes on Abjuration. Scratch picks up the entire thing and runs off with it when Gale's back is foolishly turned, and it's only a stern talking-to from Halsin that saves the whole thing from becoming a chew toy.
Smiley cat faces, doodled on the pages in Yenna's untidy hand. A helpful comment from Karlach on the Fireball page: 'AKA FUCK YEAH LET'S GO!!!!' A few lines of Wyll's perfect handwriting, a memento from a long discussion about how infernal energies could enhance fire magic; a few observations from Shadowheart on warding enchantments. Some terse comments on psionic magic from Lae'zel that Gale finds himself weaving into his Shields, and they do seem to hold up a little better now. (Other hands on his spellbook! Touching the pages he carries close to his heart! The man he was would never have believed it.)
He thinks of them all, as he writes new spells. Counterspell, because nothing will touch them. Spells that will carry his people from danger and shield them from harm. He watches Astarion pace before the fire one night and inscribes Sunbeam with a cold smile of promise to Cazador; he glowers at Mizora over the edge of the pages as he ponders what spells would be best suited to killing a devil.
A wizard's spellbook, Elminster told him once, is a reflection of their soul. Gale of Waterdeep's spellbook was a marvel; perfect and polished and resplendant. Untouched by any hands but his own.
Gale Dekarios's spellbook is battered and beloved, covered on every page with the fingerprints of his friends.
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