{ 🗡️ } An indie, private and selective RP blog for 𝙻𝙾𝙺𝙸 of the MCU. Unaffiliated with any fandom or RPC. Highly sporadic activity. Canon divergent with heavy influence from personal headcanons and mixed media. Minors and personals DNI. Deceived by ℐ𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒾𝓈. 30+. He/him pronouns. Please read my carrd before interacting.
𝚁𝚞𝚕𝚎𝚜 & 𝙸𝚗𝚏𝚘
𝙳𝙴𝙰𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙸𝙽 ; The burden of being unwanted, a child of no home, illusions as armour, fractured brotherhood, serpentine cunning, a heart bound to ruin, divinity undone, and the curse of yearning.
Aelirium ✦ Noxaecor
🐍 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚂 ✦ 𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙴𝚂 ✦ 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃 ✦ 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙾 🐍
𝙳𝙳𝙳𝙽𝙴 : This blog contains canon-compliant dark themes; if you don't know what those are, don't follow me. This blog requires and DEMANDS adult literacy and maturity in engagement with fictional content and hobbyist creatives; if you cannot manage these things, do not follow me. Sexual content will be present on this blog.
If you see me changing and tweaking my graphics and stuff pretend you don't, my graphics were barely salvaged from a laptop that shit itself and died about six years ago now, so I'm sort of having to try remake things and match things and its REALLY AWKWARD, but yeah, don't worry I'll get things sexy and on brand for me around here soon I'm just sort of contending with wanting to prioritise writing more, and also helping Gill stitch our recent thread together in fic forms for our main verse shenanigans.
There was an art to frightening Thor properly. One couldn't simply leap from behind a curtain and shout like some witless child. No, there had to be anticipation. Atmosphere. A carefully cultivated sense that something was amiss before the inevitable revelation, preferably accompanied by some great and undignified noise from his brother that Loki could then remember fondly for the next several centuries. He was, in his opinion, exceptionally good at this and therefore he had considered himself to be in exceedingly good cheer.
After all, what was the point of mastering the mystical arts of the Realm Eternal if you couldn't use them to torment your brother once in a while? (All the time. All the time without rest.)
The trickster had slipped through the outer chamber without so much as disturbing the air, glamour folded neatly around himself, footfalls softened by his own fluid grace and by the magic he possessed as he crept toward the half-open doors. He had already decided precisely what he intended to do. A phantom hand upon Thor's shoulder first, perhaps. Then something whispering directly beside his ear. Nothing too terrible. His lips were already twitching with the effort of suppressing laughter when— "Who is it? Show yourself. I see through your illusions."
And Loki stopped dead in his mischievous tracks. One boot hovered halfway through another carefully silent step, brows rising toward his hairline as his green eyes widened in confusion, right before a new expression settled into place just as quickly as the last. Well.... That was very disappointing; affront replaced amusement. Thor was not supposed to notice him yet! Thor was certainly not supposed to notice him before he even had the chance to do anything even remotely frightening.
His glamour dissolved with a brilliant shimmer of green and gold and a withering look of annoyance. Less than a second later, he simply waltzed on in, stealth entirely abandoned, greeting his brother with the wounded dignity of an artist whose performance had been interrupted before he could ever step a single foot onto the stage, complete with a disgruntled little huff and a sarcastic remark. ❝ Oh, very good. You've ruined it now.❞
It's a pout. That's what it is. A pout. Never before had Thor caught him before he could at least do SOMETHING, anything. ❝ I had the most spectacular fright prepared. The spectral visage of the late King Buri, perhaps, or a convincing apparition of your beloved practice dummy come to demand vengeance for its thousand deaths.❞
He complained, a particularly amusing, theatrical emphasis applied to that last, ridiculous fantasy he supplied, but when Thor's words didn't come, his dismissive, triumphant chuckle, Loki stills, the air around the figure he knew to be his brother catching up with him, his eyes now fully beholding a sight that, while undoubtedly Thor, wasn't. Not in the way Loki had always known him.
Something was— wrong. Wrong in a way that Loki had felt before he truly saw, in a way that made something inside him squirm— it's not an uncomfortable lurch of fear— why would it be? It was Thor—his brother Thor, nothing to be frightened of— and yet something about him felt so profoundly out of balance that, in an instant, it was utterly disturbing.
His smile faltered around its edges as his eyes travelled over the familiar figure in front of him properly. The Axe, Stormbreaker, meant nothing to him. It was merely an enormous weapon he had never seen before, gripped in Thor's hand with a desperation that was far stranger and more alarming than the axe itself.
Worse, he looked atrocious. He was not wounded, not exactly, not in any way Loki could understand, but there was something amiss, something deep and carved into him, some tremendous sorrow in place of his usual golden swagger, as terrifying as it was overwhelming.
❝ Brother—❞ His brows slowly drew together; the profound and startling mystery before him had to be met with the most faithful and well-used mask Loki owned. Sarcasm, jest, comedy— something that might serve to lessen the blow he felt had travelled towards him and struck him before he could even see it coming. ❝ ...What— What in the nine realms have you done to your hair? ❞
I don't enjoy hurting people. I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I've had to… Because it's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.
An indie, private and selective RP blog for 𝐿𝑂𝐾𝐼 of the MCU. Unaffiliated with any fandom or RPC. Minors and personals DNI. Deceived by ℐ𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒾𝓈. 30+. He/him pronouns. Please read my carrd before interaction.
dehumanization as horror is great and all but what about humanization as horror. Being forced into a role that was not made for you. Being forced to fulfill expectations that you can never achieve. Being made to exist in a society that so cruelly expects you to act in a way that is against your nature.
aelirium : [ DISCOVER ] for receiver to find sender trying to clean blood off themselves. || Thor to Loki (don't worry about it, it's fine, the other guy looks worse.):^]
The man from the feast had been unremarkable. A diplomat's son, perhaps, with brown hair and hands that lingered too long on Loki's waist during at least one of the many dances. Though if he were being honest, he wouldn't have been able to pinpoint when, where or what exactly had happened; the night had been long, and the alcohol had been plenty, as per the course with any Asgardian celebration. The only real certainty Loki had was that whatever the case, he had allowed it, encouraged it even ━ initiated his share, perhaps. Indeed, he had been debating whether these were interactions worth pursuing further.
The revelry had long since softened behind him, reduced to distant music and laughter muffled by Asgard's gilded corridors, but look as he did, there seemed to be no sign of his friend from earlier in the night. It occurred to him then how long it had been since he'd last seen Thor and, as if on instinct, his search changed directions. It wasn't like Thor to vanish from a party ━ it wasn't like Thor not to be at its centre, loud and inarguable, much like the thunder itself.
He scanned the banquet hall again before checking the balconies. His search then took him to Thor's chambers, entirely empty, before he eventually caught the sound of running water and drifted toward it. Whether from restlessness or persistence, he couldn't say, but there he came to one of the lesser washrooms, the entrance door slightly ajar, and inside a familiar figure stood, smaller and quieter than usual and whether from concern or curiosity, Loki drifted nearer.
From his spot, just beyond the door, he could see the water swirling pink beneath those familiar hands, and the silver, blood-marked cuff of a familiar tunic and, for whatever Thor might have believed him to be, foolish or mad or both, he knew in that instant what had happened. His mind returned immediately to the man from the feast — the lingering glances, the hand at Loki's waist, the suggestion of somewhere quieter once the wine had rendered them both pleasantly careless, and he knew then Thor, Thor who would otherwise appear witness from mead or from merriment, or both, had noticed this.
It's a strange feeling, the thing that immediately crawls up in his chest while another ━ another altogether, slithered down his spine ━ dual sensations, both fond and terrible. The heat of anger, followed quickly by the warm swell of some twisted type of appreciation, polarised by the horror of perhaps being the only witness to a crime committed and what more it entailed ━ like beholding a loyal hound who'd dragged something mauled across the kitchen floor and then knowing it was the remains of the sweet old stray that had visited your doorstep the day before.
He stepped into the washroom, announcing himself only with the intentional click of the door pulled close behind him like a gunshot and the lesser sound of the exasperated sigh that left him....
He could have snorted at the answer, but instead he simply stared at Strange. The mortal's attempt at an explanation was true. Not even he knew what this... Interesting dish was. That's funny, and if he were in a better mood, surely he would have laughed, but instead, he simply smirked, giving the hotdog another look over, his tone teaming with condescension. ❝ Fascinating. So, I take it consuming unidentified meat is what Midgardians do for amusement. ❞
He had endured stranger meals, so the oddity had not frightened him; the food on Sakaar tended to move before being served. At least this thing remained still ━ he could give it a point for that. Strange's comment about ruling this place found itself somewhere less amusing, though Loki didn't show it, despite the memory it brought him: The Other's voice, curling through his thoughts like a particularly unpleasant, odious smoke, the Sceptre thrumming in his hand, alive in its own terrible way, all for a throne he had never really desired, attempted upon with an army he had never truly commanded.
A choice made beneath the shadow of something far greater and crueller than any mortal here could imagine... But he'd offer none of that to Stephen Strange. Shame, the wicked blade it was, was best kept hidden. Loki would sooner let the Midgardian sorcerer believe him mad, arrogant, even ignorant, than offer him a glimpse of the chains beneath his performance.
❝ You speak boldly for a man who once hurled me through a portal and left me falling for half an hour. ❞ His gaze slid toward Strange, sharp, green eyes narrowing with theatrical offence. ❝ And who now requires an invisible tether to feel secure in my presence. ❞
Then, Loki lifted the hot dog with all the solemnity of a goblet raised at a feast, inclined it mockingly toward Strange, and took a very careful, hesitant bite, again reminding himself that it didn't squirm, and it didn't squeal as he did. He chewed, paused and then, with false reluctance, took another bite. ❝ Hm. ❞ He looked down at it, brows raised, the almost enthused tone betraying the simple explanation he offered. ❝ Adequate. ❞
@noxaecor : PULL : for the sender to pull the receiver into their lap - From En to Loki
Sakaar's festivities were far less akin to parties and far more closely resembled the colourful, gleaming death throes of a collapsing star. Vibrant, chaotic, unforgettable and surely dangerous in some way or another.
The music, strange and not just foreign but alien, thundered through the palace where the bodies from hundreds of different worlds crowded together beneath the obnoxious, shifting neon lights ━ dancing, drinking, touching, indulging in substances Loki was sure had yet to be named. It was vulgar, obscene, excessive and naturally, Loki, the chameleon that he had always been, adapted splendidly.
He moved tall and elegant, long raven hair falling neatly around her pale face, framing those sharp green eyes, a vision among the colourful, animated rabble of aliens in every possible taxidermy. Even here, in this world of chaos and indulgence, he drew the eye as something unusual, something almost out of place.
Just as well that he did, too, because the quality of life here on Sakaar was measured entirely by the favour of The Grandmaster, its strange, eccentric master and the man had, blessedly, taken quite a liking to Loki and Loki? Well, Loki had been sent here mistakenly, violently, a god thrown into the abyss to resurface in the chaotic unknown entirely alone ━ he was in need of allies.
From their first meeting, Loki had offered the Grandmaster a carefully constructed tragedy: an exiled prince, betrayed by blood and cast from a golden kingdom, and the Elder had been enchanted from the very first word. Yet the fascination between them had never been entirely one-sided. The truth was that there was something intoxicating about being wanted by a creature so ancient and so shamelessly delighted by him.
Loki had just leaned closer to murmur something charming into the ear of a passing dignitary when fingers suddenly caught the fabric at her waist, and her world tilted, a startled breath escaping only just as he was pulled backward and deposited without ceremony directly into the Grandmaster's waiting lap.
It was for one rare, dangerous moment that Loki went utterly still, though her surprise quickly folded itself behind a slow, serpentine smile; then, deliberately fluid, he draped himself against the Grandmaster's chest with the calculated ease of a creature who'd long ago learned how to permit any indignity, one arm looping behind the Elder's neck, green eyes half-closed and glittering.
❝ My, my… ❞ Her gaze slid sideways, smoky, green, and inquisitive. ❝ Someone's feeling forward. To what do I owe the pleasure, Grandmaster? ❞
For a fleeting second, something unguarded flickers across his face — confusion, perhaps, a little bit of annoyance and... Something softer. It vanishes quickly, of course. smoothed over by habit, by years of knowing exactly what role he was meant to play.
Except now that role had become... Unclear... Things had changed. Everything had changed. His gaze drifts, not quite meeting Thor's anymore, settling somewhere distant instead. ❝ … You've grown tiresome in your old age, brother. ❞ The words are only sharp enough to resemble himself, yet like Thor, like everything else, he's changed too.
He's feels as if he is a thin imitation of the self he once was and it was everything that once was, the memory of it, that had brought him here, feeling the way he did. Loathing, loss. Asgard. The realm eternal. Golden halls, endless feasts, the illusion of permanence — gone. Another of their many lies, now nothing more than a collapsed star. Reduced to memory, to ash.
❝ I had expected… ❞ He starts, then falters, quickly masked as he turns his head slightly, feigning mild disinterest. ❝ … Something far less gracious. Mockery, perhaps. A jest at my expense. You've rarely been one to resist the opportunity.... ❞ There it is again, that sharpness — or, rather, the vague imitation of it, an old pattern he'd become far too used to being held up against something new, something he doesn't quite know how to navigate yet. So: a different approach, one far less defensive. One... Honest, even. ❝ I miss them.... All of them. ❞
The past grew more convoluted and agonizing with each passing day. Time heals all wounds as the saying went, and perhaps it were true, but to him, as they stood here now, it almost felt as though there wouldn't be enough time in all the eons to get past all the things they had loved and lost within only a few short years. Ragnarok had been foretold for as long as he could remember ━ but who really imagined they would live through the "end" of it all?
Their father had said Asgard wasn't a place; it was a people, but that didn't mean the loss hadn't been felt ━ perhaps due entirely to the fact that so many of its people had been vanquished all the same ━ including their mother and father. Surely that had some part in the lingering somber that hung in the air around them. Here they were… Back in many ways to where this all started: Thor ready to sit upon "Asgard's throne," and Loki, lurking, looming, uncertain.
This time there was no mischief. No gusto. No roaring crowd packing the golden halls of a magnificent throne room. Here there was only quiet contemplation of a future more uncertain than it had ever been. Loki's attention drifts to his brother. Regardless of Odin's faults if he could be here with them now he's is sure he could find it within himself to forgive them.
❝ He would profess his tremendous pride in you, no doubt. Thor : Son of Odin, savior of Midgard, protector of the nine realms, be there not a more worthy heir to Asgard's throne. ❞ He bit back a playful grin as he continued, his tone becoming much lighter with a comical shrug ; ❝ Be there no other Heir at all, in fact. It would seem that there is no escaping destiny after all, brother. What will you do now that Asgard's glory is your to command? ❞
So this was the so-called "hot-dog" they spoke of. Its an unusual thing ━ at least to Loki who was more used to great banquets of roasted meat, vegetables and fresh fruit, the staples of Asgardian culinary. In his hands he looks the unusual meal over, rotating it back to front to make sure he has taken it all in from every angle. It looked editable but at the same time... Not. Truly one of the most unusual things he had ever set eyes upon on this earth.
❝ This is... The meat of a dog? ❞ He asked, his brows furrowed slightly. It was what he presumed, given the name. Looking at it he thought that could have made sense ━ it wasn’t like any meat he had ever seen and they did not eat dog on Asgard. At least not commonly anyhow, but who was he to judge the creative tastes of these Midgardians? After two weeks on Sakaar he knew there was worse.
His gaze, fascinated but slightly concerned rises to the other, the one who brought him this treat as if to clarify. It was kind of of them to do so, and he wasn’t ungrateful, nor would he reject it. It had to beat the utter slop these SHIELD agents brought him whenever they felt like it. They had a way of making him long for his cell in the Asgardian dungeons with his comfortable trinkets and fresh berries.
Things I wanna mention for no particular reason: Loki has green eyes. I know Tom’s are more blue, but since my Loki's appearance is a bit different to the MCU, as I like to describe Loki as far more gender ambiguous / genderqueer than the MCU presents him, Loki’s are like a jade green. ( Also described as emerald, but like a fair/pure emerald. Yeah, they’re most definitely green for me lol. )
He doesn’t grow a lot of, if any, body hair at all; this seems to be a Frost Giant thing. They grow almost no body hair, probably due to evolving this way in the freezing climate, and being literal ice beings, they don’t have much need for it. They don’t need to warm themselves with it, it serves little purpose other than to pick up unneeded frost or icicles. This is also the reason most Frost Giants seem to shave their heads or it could also be possible that they don't develop hair at all naturally and Loki’s only exists to give him a more Asgardian appearance. ( we didn't see ONE Frost Giant with hair in the main canon )
Loki didn’t revert to their Jotun form at the TVA because he never developed as one. I don’t really have a science-y smart explanation for any of this other than to say I think Odin’s enchantment affected Loki on more than just a superficial level and I believe an “”enchantment”” ( Using the term because I don’t know a more suited one. It's more of an augmentation, or better yet, a transmogrification. I think the term enchantment gives people the impression it's something less than it is, imo ? That powerful and that long-standing couldn’t have been undone by the TVA like any other simple spell or mystical manifestation.
When I say I think the enchantment affects Loki in more than just a superficial way I think it affects him biologically as well. He didn’t develop as a Frost Giant. He developed as an “Asgardian.” Even if he was naturally a Frost Giant, he’s been altered on a level beyond the superficial. If Loki was never enchanted and developed as a Frost Giant, he would have developed ridges and hard “crests” of bone on his body; his natural markings would have become more prominent/defined. Loki does not possess these things because the “Jotun form” we’ve seen Loki have is really just a shallow reflection of their lost natural self. Loki would also be far, far more adapted to and preferential to the cold.
Loki has no idea what he would really look like. In fact, Loki’s never even seen their full self in “Jotun form”. They've seen their skin on their arms/hands is blue, but they've never seen their full self. Either way, whatever we see of this form is incomplete. Immature. Loki looks more similar to the way they were as an infant. Blue skin, red eyes, faint markings. They don't have any of the characteristics of a “mature” frost giant because, again, he didn’t develop them.
Furthermore extreme cold doesn’t revert Loki back to their Jotun form. He can be in a freezing environment and never change. He also DOES feel the cold but not entirely to the extent of others, which he isn’t aware of because he could not know what extent someone else is feeling something. Someone might say “it's cold”, and Loki would agree, but that doesn’t mean he’s feeling it to the same extent; nevertheless, there isn’t an extreme difference here. Loki’s skin may also be slightly cooler to the touch, and he may have a cooler core temperature but again, nothing of this is extreme or overly noticeable
The only way you would tell the difference between Loki and a normal anyone is prolonged exposure to freezing cold would have a negative effect on a normal being, frost bite, etc, it wouldn’t really have an adverse effect on Loki though. He would be cold but not in the same way they are, and that would eventually show. Nevertheless, he dresses warmly when its ‘cold’, he takes warm baths, he sits by the fire, he notices when its “cold”, etc, though he might not notice a sharp drop in temperature as quickly as someone else.
Extreme heat does effect Loki but extreme heat effects everyone. The more obvious difference is that extreme heat quickly makes him catatonic and sick and can still be very dangerous to him in prolonged instances. Again, though this isn’t exactly uncommon for anyone. While someone else might be able to sweat it out, Loki’s more likely to just shut down and possibly die, meaning he’s a little less tolerant but this really depends on circumstance.
Hope this makes sense here. What I’m trying to say is yes while there are minor differences they're not extreme or noticeable in normal situations. Loki’s not like a Frost Giant any more, he's more like an Asgardian. Yeah there are traces of his natural self but they’re just biological memories, if that makes sense?
Loki's further taught himself to handle fire and has a talent for elemental/mystical fire.
Generally, though Loki likes warmth, they probably like it more than others because they can use it as a kind of sedative. A warm bath? Sitting by a fire? Rugged up in a blanket? Loki loves these things because they can get a really strong, relaxing effect from them.
What caused any change in Loki’s outward appearance was A) The Casket of Ancient Winters, presumably created by Frost Giant magic and B) The mystical touch of another Frost Giant who was TRYING to use his innate elemental magic to freeze-burn Loki. These are the 'abnormal' circumstances in which Loki's true self may actually briefly show.
So yeah, it takes more than ice or freezing weather to cause any change in Loki’s outward appearance no matter how cold and ultimately Loki’s “Jotun form”, when it is caused to surface, is more of like a faith memory his body has as opposed to his actual state of being. He can’t just revert back to it. Nothing will revert him back to it. The “enchantment” can’t really be broken or undone because its so much more than superficial.
A frost giant Loki would be different to the Loki we know. It wouldn’t just be Loki w/ blue skin and red eyes AS FAR as my HC goes and I don't caaaaaare what the MCU or any other marvel stuff says.
ANYWAY THIS GOT LONG BUT YEA. Stuff I’ve been thinking about lately.
I thought it was time to outline some of my Infinity War canon divergence. This starts for me, obviously, with Thanos attacking the Asgardian refugee ship and Loki doing his little song and dance about pledging loyalty to Thanos. Instead, however, of trying to attack Thanos, Loki asks if he can prove his loyalty and do the honours of killing Thor. Thanos and the black order accepts. Loki knows Thor will try to pursue Thanos and that they will kill him for sure if he doesn’t do something to neutralise Thor as a threat to them for that time.
Loki approaches Thor and seemingly stabs him, although this is really no more than an illusion, incapacitating Thor long enough for Thanos and the order to consider him dead / dying. They teleport away with Loki and Thor’s bonds fall free. He’s not able to escape the explosion but he does survive it, which Loki felt pretty confident in upon leaving him. The events thereafter follow the movie, with Loki begrudgingly ‘helping’ the black order and Thanos.
He’s deployed with Midnight, Obsidian, and Glaive on Wakanda to help aid against the hero’s defense force. Supposedly its his ‘second chance’ to right his failure in New York and help lead Thanos’ army to victory. Loki has little interest in this though.
When Thor arrives Loki begins to turn on the Outriders and the two meet each other on the battlefield. Loki makes his place known by taking out a few Outriders and tells Thor he must convince his friends to destroy the mind stone or they are doomed.
Thor sternly tells Loki that they would “speak about” it later and continues to fight the outriders, obviously referencing Loki’s “betrayal” back on the refugee ship and Loki begrudgingly accepts and continues to aid Thor as the battle continues. For a moment, it appears as if they were going to win. As soon as Thanos arrives, Loki informs Thor, once again reminding him of the mindstone and the two rush to meet Thanos in battle.
They arrive just after Thanos plucks the mindstone from Vision and Thor throws storm breaker into Thanos chest. Loki takes note of Visions body and examines it, horrified as he realizes Thanos has the stone. He attempts to tell Thor only to see they’re both too late and Thanos tells Thor he should have gone for the head. As Thanos zips away, Loki quietly tells Thor that he’s truly sorry. He fades away with Bucky and the others as Thor watches on in horror and realization, making Loki a victim of the snap.
In Endgame Loki is resurrected when the snap is undone. I have a bunch of different scenarios for Loki after this but generally he’s either eventually apprehended by Shield, winds up in Thor’s custody or simply goes into “hiding” to avoid it all, with the latter being the one I'm leaning most towards as default canon. It really just depends, in order to make interactions work, what way we go.
I’m also waiting for the Loki series to fuck off before I incorporate any official elements of it into Loki’s main verse, and I probably will because I already have ideas. In general I’ll say Loki does get yoinked by the TVA but its obvs not because he picked up the tesseract, again I’m waiting for everything to finish before I officially go over everything but yeah.
It finished and boy did that suck. So, yeah, I've made a separate verse for TVA Loki. Loki is generally abducted by the TVA after being brought back from the snap, since I'm just gonna do my own shit with TVA Loki where it comes up, too, but I'm more interested in my main, canon-divergent verse of Loki surviving Thaos.
Anyways! While I'm here, I'm going to talk a little about Loki and Thanos and that whole situation. Tom likens it to being kidnapped by a terrorist organisation, and that it was definitely not a good time, but there have been no real details there, so while I have my ideas, I’m not going to go too in-depth and just give the basic outline.
Loki started out as a captive and was certainly a receptacle to torture / abuse but he was able to align himself with the order, present himself as more of an asset than anything and work as their ally which really lessened a lot of that and Loki did of course perceive any lessening of abuse with friendly feeling, because A) Present trauma and B) Pre-existing trauma means Loki's wired that way in the first place.
I've talked about it before but Loki def has a strong "fawn" mechanism when things go wrong, which again, linked to past trauma. If Loki’s conversations with the Other are anything to go off however, Loki's physical torture was simply replaced with threats and more emotionally / mentally intimidating behavior. My rough outline is Loki found himself alive in Chitahuri space after his suicide attempt. He was lost and disoriented and quickly realised that wherever he was, it wasn’t anywhere he knew and was a completely hostile environment.
Of course they initially tried to eat him but given Loki proved he wasn’t any kind of easy meal he got the attention of the Other. This changed things so they captured him soon enough and he was harmed simply for the enjoyment/thrill of it. The twisted interest in Loki being a little more "resilient" to pain than a lot of ordinary beings, given his Jotun physiology, made him a sort of a plaything for a short period as they ensured Loki was who / what he claimed, like an interrogation.
Loki's stories were always of interest, especially so after relayed to Thanos himself. Loki soon stopped being teased as a snack for outriders and became an “ally”. Loki’s story of being the rightful king and cast from the Bifrost in Avengers wasn’t poor memory. It was part of the story he told the black order and it became something he had to believe not just for the sake of his sanity but for the sake of his life.
As a result, Loki has developed a form of Stockholm syndrome. Loki has complex feelings on Thanos and although his mindset can be somewhat verse dependent, he does fluctuate between a more clear aversion and thinking of him much more fondly in general.
Overall, Loki doesn’t necessarily agree with Thanos ultimate goal but outside of that he doesn’t think of him with as much negativity as one might think he should. It kind of depends on what he thinks he needs to feel to get by at the time often enough, but he does genuinely have some idea of him being not so bad - at least toward him - which was mostly untrue, but its a coping mechanism to highlight and empathise any scraps of good he can find and minus the ‘truth’ / the negative.
He doesn’t often recall what he went through to be as bad as he simultaneously knows it to have been or he rationalizes it / justifies it. Having been through that experience made it pretty damn “easy” for Loki to “adapt” to the TVA in retrospect and also played a part in helping him adapt to Sakaar with similar speed because while they are situations that are not nearly as bad, they have similar outlines for Loki. He was taken as a prisoner of the TVA and needed to align himself as an ally to avoid execution, and on Sakaar he was somewhere hostile and unfamiliar and had to find a source of protection to similarly avoid death. Again, Loki is a professional fawner.
Stockholm syndrome can manifest in several ways, including when the victims:
perceive kindness or compassion from their captor or abuser or develop positive feelings towards the individual or group of individuals holding them captive or abusing them adopt the same goals, world views, and ideologies as the captors or abusers feel pity toward the captors or abusers refuse to leave their captors, even when given the opportunity to escape, have negative perceptions towards police, family, friends, and anyone else who may try to help them escape their situation
I thought I’d add this to highlight that these are all very true to Loki. Bold is stuff we saw explicitly in canon, italics is stuff that is suggested and can be found in my canon from place to place.
So anyways, this is sort of random, but I've thought about it for a long time, and Loki / My Loki blog has been on the brain lately, and if you know me, you know I'm crazy. I write and cook up a LOT of bullshit for my Blorbos. One thing I really loved back in the day was the concept of Loki and Sigyn in the MCU. Because the MCU let me the fuck down, you know I always be doing shit myself, so I do/did have an entire concept of Sigyn and how she came to meet Loki in the MCU for my own canon, and I decided that I'm gonna share it because I can.
My version of Sigyn focuses very heavily on Thor: Ragnarok and what I obviously consider an AU of it. I didn't go too heavy on the finer details in case things needed to be changed or adapted for plot reasons, but I'll place the general gist under the cut.
She was born to a respected Vanir family and had been raised high-class. She was placed in an arranged, political marriage with another realm (I don't label which one because I tweak things as I go along, so it's one of those changeable/adaptable things ykwim; sometimes it's Asgard, sometimes it's somewhere else. However, when it's Asgard, it's not ever Thor or Loki she was arranged to be married to, but, like with the comics, Theoric, an important member of Asgard's upper class.)
Sigyn wasn't necessarily thrilled by the situation, but like many daughters of importance, she knew the responsibility placed on her; however, on the day of her wedding, she never reached the intended destination. The vessel carrying her and her attendants was caught in a violent spatial anomaly. (What caused this is another one of those things that I leave vague because, depending on plots or whatever, it can be tweaked. Most commonly, the vessel was attacked by opportunistic trolls.)
The ship was torn from its course and dragged through space before crashing among the mountains of refuse surrounding Sakaar. Those who survived were quickly separated. Some were absorbed into the city's labour force, others were sold, pressed into service, or conscripted into the Grandmaster's games, and Sigyn was among these few. Her appearance, education, and unmistakably noble bearing saved her from the arena, though "saved" was an extremely generous description of what followed.
Sigyn was brought into his court, where she was treated as a 'favoured companion' (Very much Saakar's version of a courtesan). Here, she was dressed in elaborate fabrics and displayed at parties beside musicians, dancers, servants, and other creatures collected from across the universe that caught En Dwi Gast's eccentric interest upon landing in Sakaar.
Then Loki shows up. And since we know time moves strangely when thrown through a wormhole, in my depiction, Loki was on Sakaar for months before Thor showed up, despite this only seeming like mere hours in Thor's time.
Loki, of course, spent those months carefully establishing herself. He understood almost immediately that brute force would accomplish very little for him. Sakaar belonged entirely to the Grandmaster; its people adored him, feared him, or depended upon the chaotic structure he provided, and any open challenge would end with Loki imprisoned, melted, or thrown into the Contest of Champions. Fortunately for Loki, however, sneaky shit is where he excels; he's always been someone who believes in charm and wit first and foremost, so Loki was on it immediately, presenting herself to the Grandmaster personally, not as a refugee but as an exiled prince.
He entertained the Grandmaster with tales of Asgard, and though Loki's royal status and spiels of triumph and woe meant little to En Dwi Gast beyond entertaining stories, Loki found herself treated as a very special treasure indeed! Because Loki is an oddity! Something unique, a jotun, transmogrified at infancy to look like and live among Asgardians. This made Loki valuable in En Dwi Gast's mind, a lot due to some weird sibling rivalry bullshit he has going on with Taneleer Tivan, and a funny transmorgified little jotun was something Taneleer did not possess, SO SUCK IT, BRO, cause En has it!
And unlike the Collector, who prefers to keep his toys in their boxes, the Grandmaster loves playing with his. He likes watching them perform, compete, flirt, quarrel, and struggle for his attention! (Quick note: my depiction and view of the GM is entirely based on @noxaecor's depiction of him and our ship together.) and Loki, the entertaining little fucker that he is, quickly became one of the Grandmaster's favourite playthings, if not THE favourite alongside Hulk, but in a very different way. He was granted beautiful rooms, expensive clothing, access to the palace, and considerably more freedom than most arrivals ever received. He attended private dinners, advised the Grandmaster on petty disputes, and appeared at his side during extravagant parties.
The problem being, despite Loki telling himself this was pure and simple manipulation on his part, he developed a genuine connection with En Dwi Gast, and honestly, because it's funny, En Dwi Gast let him think he was succeeding at the manipulation part when he really wasn't. The GM is ancient, powerful and completely unburdened by conventional morality; he's an out-there dude, and he didn't see Loki as threatening at all, regardless. He found him charming and genuinely good company.
Loki, in turn, is fascinated by a being who possesses such extraordinary power and uses it almost exclusively in pursuit of pleasure and entertainment. Their relationship became something interesting really fast. Dark, possessive, and of course, inherently unequal, as Loki depended upon the Grandmaster's favour, and the Grandmaster was only ever allowing him to think he was pulling the wool over his eyes.
See, because in my headcanon and depiction of Loki, Sakaar and En Dwi Gast really did appeal to every part of Loki and Loki and En really did hit it off. There is again genuine attraction and connection there. It's not just a weird sex thing. Loki and En really do "get" each other. They also have weird bullshit sibling rivalries they bonded over.
On Sakaar, Loki wasn't Thor's troublesome younger brother, Odin's stolen child, or the disgraced prince who had failed to conquer Midgard, or some weird, mischievous little outcast. He was admired, indulged, and desired entirely on his own terms. For perhaps the first time, someone found Loki's Disorders TM genuinely entertaining and endearing. Loki told herself that he was only playing along; he imagined that he was waiting to uncover the source of the Grandmaster's control, eliminate him, and take Sakaar for himself, but it really was all just a fantasy in Loki's mind, because he stubbornly told himself he couldn't possibly enjoy where and what he presently was.
And here is where Loki met Sigyn. He first noticed her during one of the Grandmaster's parties.
He approached her partly out of curiosity and partly because she was extraordinarily beautiful. Sigyn, of course, knew precisely who he was because everyone in the palace had heard about the Grandmaster's new Asgardian favourite. However, Loki wasn't entirely what she expected. He wasn't some arrogant, greedy brute. The raven-haired, pale, green-eyed Loki was essentially the antithesis of everything one would expect an Asgardian to be. He was just an interesting little creature who wanted her attention, apparently happy to start yapping her ear off and deflecting attention from other, less pleasant, party guests.
They traded observations about the Grandmaster's guests, mocked the more ridiculous performers, and tested one another with half-truths. The attraction between them was immediate, and Loki and Sigyn were frequently placed in one another's company to enjoy it. I imagine The Grandmaster noticed their interest and found it amusing. He encouraged it, sometimes seating them together or requesting that they accompany him to the same private gatherings. Their developing affection was another form of entertainment, particularly because the Grandmaster remained confident that both ultimately belonged to him.
In some ways, his encouragement made their relationship easier. For example, neither Loki nor Sigyn was required to conceal their attraction, but in other ways, it made everything more complicated.
To Sigyn, Loki was charming and oddly safe, and Sigyn enjoyed being desired by someone who understood the difference between her performance and her actual self. Sigyn also knew that Loki was a liar, but she rarely objected to the lie itself. Oftentimes they would retreat from the Grandmaster's festivities and speak of the Nine Realms. Sigyn would tell Loki what little she had learned of Sakaar's internal structure, its servants, guards, and pleasure districts, and Loki would share pieces of Asgard. She learned he could not go back there, and although Loki was vague with his reasoning, Sigyn knew it was deeper than the tales that Sakaar was inescapable.
Loki eventually told Sigyn that he intended to overthrow the Grandmaster. He described hidden alliances, vulnerabilities in the palace, and a future in which Sakaar would belong to them instead.
Some of those plans were real but only barely, and so Loki found himself in a situation where he could imagine murdering the Grandmaster while still seeking and flourishing under his approval. He could promise Sigyn freedom while remaining uncertain whether he truly wished to leave, with Sigyn understanding more of this than Loki realised.
But Sigyn, who spent too long surviving Sakaar to think anything would truly change beyond the relationship she had built with Loki, didn't count on any immediate rescue. Still, nonetheless, she quietly contributed to Loki's plans. She collected information, cultivated allies, and prepared herself for the possibility that an opportunity might come.
Of course, the opportunity arrived prematurely in the form of Thor. Loki was horrified to discover his brother on Sakaar because Thor's sudden presence threatened everything he had constructed: his position, his relationship with the Grandmaster, and his "plans" for control, yet it also offered the fastest route away from the planet. Loki, pathetically, wanted to remain the Grandmaster's favourite, betray Thor, help Thor, seize Sakaar, escape Sakaar, and avoid choosing between any of those possibilities all at once.
The Grandmaster's interest in Thor and Hulk only intensified his possessiveness toward Loki, who was suddenly reminded that favour could be withdrawn as easily as it had been granted, and so Loki's loyalties remained complicated until the final moment.
And when the revolution began, he ensured that Sigyn reached the stolen vessel and that the members of the Grandmaster's court who wished to flee were given the same opportunity. The promise he had made to her was fulfilled, though not in the way either of them expected! There was no conquering of Sakaar, just a messy, awkward escape.
Sigyn travelled with Loki and the Sakaaran rebels to Asgard, where she helped evacuate the population before Ragnarok consumed the realm. For Sigyn, Asgard's destruction was both horrifying and strangely familiar. She had already lost her home once, and she understood the terror of being carried into the unknown with no guarantee that another world would accept them.
Aboard the escape ship, she assisted the healers, comforted frightened children, and helped organise supplies. Her years within the Grandmaster's court had taught her how to remain composed despite the chaos and the fear; whatever happened between Loki and the Grandmaster, whatever compromises Loki had made to survive, Sigyn never held them against him and likewise. After all, she had survived in much the same way. That shared understanding and traumatic situation becomes one of the foundations of their relationship.
Sigyn, in my headcanon/canon, is among the Asgardian survivors who made it to Earth after Thanos' attack, but we know how the MCU did things, so I have a lot of canon divergence for the whole End Game thing, too, which I'm pretty sure I tossed into another post found here.
