They say God has a plan for all of us...
I'm what you call multi-talented. Understand, that doesn't mean that I'm great at everything. It means I have the potential to be great at a number of different things. Writing, drawing, acting, singing (maybe), and a plethora of musical instruments. You'd think that would make me a real renaissance man, but in practice it's been a curse. My talents are too numerous for me to realistically have time to develop all of them to their full potential. As a result, I've spent much of my life creatively paralyzed, not knowing what to do with my time or where to put my precious energy. And that's before you factor in the sheer amount of time I've had to spend in school, and later at work, doing things that have nothing to do with any of my talents.
Every once in a while I've said, "I want thing X to exist," and then been able to pull my shit together enough to create it. But those occasions have been few and far between. I've never been very prolific at much of anything.
At the age of 50, I came to the extremely belated realization that playing guitar is the only thing I've ever done that gave my life any sense of purpose. What's been missing from my life this whole time was one thing, any one thing, that I could point to and say, with conviction, "This is why I keep going. This is what makes it all worth it." Playing guitar could have been that one thing.
I came to this realization just as Carpal Tunnel Syndrome was beginning to fuck up my hands and fingers, robbing me of my very ability to play guitar.
There is no god.
I mean, seriously, what the fuck kind of devine plan is that!?
