Bertolt Brecht, Questions from a Worker Who Reads

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Bertolt Brecht, Questions from a Worker Who Reads
6
For those of us who live in the ongoing catastrophe, it does not matter if ruling administrative apparatuses assign the catastrophe an unofficial status, or if they assign the catastrophe a reality-for-some status, or if they say the catastrophe is nothing out of the ordinary, or if their word for catastrophe is profit, or if their word for catastrophe is benefit, or if their word for catastrophe is wealth or if their word for catastrophe is democracy; or if their phrase for catastrophe is good life; or even if they say there is no catastrophe. There was a catastrophe and therefore there is a catastrophe. The word for catastrophe is car. The word for catastrophe is boat. The state of catastrophe is exposed. The word for catastrophe is street. The word for catastrophe is photograph. The word for catastrophe is news. The word for catastrophe is lumber, is factory, is field, is oil, now, is monocrop, is virus, now.
-Dionne Brand, A Map to the Door of No Return (ix)
The Goddess Nut represented Double
kill the exhaustive/expertise drive in you; drive to mastery and control, of having 'said everything' it is possible to say; greater clarity and power comes from deliberate and careful precision, a silver of light illuminating something sharply over lightly the whole room dimly – the power of directed lighting vs 'the big light'
MOYERS: I remember that John Leonard once said, “Toni Morrison writes about places where even love found its way with an icepick.” Maybe that’s the — can we talk about love for a moment?
MORRISON: Sure.
MOYERS: You say love is a metaphor, and when I go back through the novels, love is there in so many different ways and forms that — and particularly when I look at the women in your novels, at the extraordinary things they do for love. There’s the grandmother who has her leg amputated so that she can have an insurance policy that will buy a house and take care of her children as they grow up. There’s Sethe, who is willing to kill her children before the slave catchers can come and seize them. What kind of love is that?
MORRISON: Some of it’s very fierce. Powerful. Distorted, even, because the duress they work under is so overwhelming. But I think they believed, as I do, while it may be true that, you know, people say, “I didn’t ask to be born,” I think we did, and that’s why we’re here. We are here, and we have to do something nurturing that we respect before we go. We must. It is more interesting, more complicated, more intellectually demanding and more morally demanding to love somebody, to take care of somebody, to make one other person feel good.
––Toni Morrison interviewed by Bill Moyers in 1998. https://billmoyers.com/content/toni-morrison-part-1/
In April 1915, confined to a Berlin women’s prison for her anti-war activities, the socialist firebrand Rosa Luxemburg wrote to a friend and lover that she’d entered one of the flowers he’d sent her into her herbarium. “That was a greater snowdrop — Leucojum vernum,” she informed him; it was distinguishable from the lesser snowdrop, Galanthus nivalis, by the shape and number of leaves. No mere hobby spawned of boredom, botany was an enduring interest of Luxemburg’s, along with geology. The greater snowdrop went into the eleventh of a series of identical notebooks she’d begun years earlier, carefully identifying and labeling hundreds of plant specimens. In prison, she managed to set up a table specifically for the purpose of preserving flowers that arrived in letters or grew on the prison grounds (...) When, in The Russian Revolution, Luxemburg defends the “unobstructed, effervescing life” that flourishes only under conditions of freedom and which can so easily be killed by bureaucracy, it’s hard not to think of the plants and animals she ardently portrays in her letters. When she says that a bird song sounds the same twice only to a “crude and indifferent ear,” or crosses out and corrects her own notes in the herbarium, one sees her insistence on faithful observation of the social and political world as it really is, in all its living detail. And when she describes the way a bird song implies its entire life and habitat — “the whole interests me, not some torn-off detail” — she could just as easily be describing her political position against her shortsighted, reformist contemporaries. (...) Her flower-filled notebooks did not come to light again until 2009, when someone discovered them in a box in the Archive of Modern Records in Warsaw. Looking at the specimens now, I’m struck most by one thing most of all: how much of their color has survived the intervening century. To find the flowers beautiful, as she did, feels like a form of time travel, connecting the unfulfilled promise of her work to the demands of the present. Snowdrops still grow in the fields, and the time is still waiting to be seized. “This day is a gift to you like a rose in full bloom,” Luxemburg wrote to a friend, “lying at your feet, waiting for you to pick it up and press it to your lips.
– Jenny Odell, 'Flowers for Rosa: Rosa Luxemburg found freedom pressing flowers in prison', Lux Magazine, https://lux-magazine.com/article/flowers-for-rosa/
Kyrgyzstan’s Petroglyphs #2 Inner Tien Shan and Osh
“To date, no one has been able, either with words or gestures, to produce an entirely satisfactory definition of modern dancing. Its supporters, who refer to it firmly as The Dance, or just plain Dance, often describe it simply as a state of mind. In a general way, it occupies the same position in the field of dancing that the work of the more abstruse modern artists—Picasso and Dali, for instance—does in the field of painting. It is certainly one of the most unpredictable of all art forms. In the course of a single number, a performer may feel impelled to glide, hop, leap, sway, kick, stamp, twirl, ride a partner piggyback, and curl up in the mouth of an eight-foot papier-mâché cornucopia. Every movement is supposed to be the dancer’s inevitable physical reaction to an emotion, and if it happens to look peculiar to somebody else, that is perfectly O.K. with the dancer. “The contortions of the body,” a leading spokesman for modern dance has pointed out, “are not half as grotesque as the dark intermittences of the mind.””
— From a 1947 profile of Martha Graham
«Souffles» أنفاس – revue maghrebine littéraire culturelle – quarterly, No. 12, 1968, Rabat [Bibliothèque nationale du Royaume du Maroc, Rabat. Bibliothèque nationale de France, Paris]
Donna Haraway, Staying With the Trouble: Making Kin in the Cthulucene (Durham, 2016), pg 22, 23, 26
as a teenager i used to sleep as much as i could. i wanted to dream, to have access to events and spaces that i lacked in real life (love, freedom; an erotic life). it was partly a space of wish fulfilment, as sometimes i could direct them towards what i hoped to see. but the fulfilment of my wishes was ultimately elusive as i found the person i most often hoped to dream of was the one person i couldn't summon in lucid or directed dreaming, no matter how hard i tried. often, i was chasing her in my dreams, going over and over the places where i might see her and coming away empty handed in dreaming and in life. and when she did come into my dreams, the dream relation was often hostile or a rejection. but dreaming, and she in my dreams, were touchstones or totems i searched for repeatedly for many years. the tension between the pursuit of satisfaction in dreams which could never be repeated in life, the belief in dreams as conveyers of meanings otherwise lost to me, and the powers of the unconscious to subvert, surprise, and overtake conscious desires.
in the last few days i have found myself sleeping much later than i normally do. when i wake up, i keep shutting my eyes and hoping to dream. this morning i got up to feed the cats and came back to bed. i am stressed and tired, having missed a (soft) deadline. i am feeling bad about the quality and value my work and my capacity to perform and complete it. many of the dreams have been erotic (but necessarily sexual) - charged three-way relations between my partner, myself, and an older woman as we all are on holiday in corfu or greece in a hotel that is narrow like a corridor and leads in a straight line directly out on to the shore and to the sea. there were other dreams too - large and well-populated dreams with bright colours and rich landscapes. a war memorial on a hill as a repeated location to return to in one dream, a locus of a trip repeatedly taken
more dreams tonight that were similar. seems again in advance of another deadline today. the night before last was a dream about touchstone person and had all the hallmarks of its usualness; the distance, the uncertainty, the feeling of rejection. the scout hut, a meeting, the sense of being in the same room but having a charged distance. but also of a sense of time having passed, which these dreams rarely have, of us making reference to the fact that time has passed, that she had aged well (am i worried about her ageing badly?) and was slim (am i worried about her having become fat?). and then tonight a dream about a similar but fictionalised relationship with similar boundaries, but more reciprocation and more chance of crossing them. but this was noticed and reported in an officious way – a crisis.
feeling vindicated by seeing something with the same central preoccupation as my old work recently published as an article. common recognition of central concerns of the text they both focus on (which hadn't previously received critical attention). pleased that i think my argument took the analysis to a slightly sharper point, even if it now looks unwieldly and not as tightly conceived. pleased that i never tried to publish it as i think the reworking the ideas have got in my work since then have given it more historical texture and a better focus. but nice to see the starting point for all of this validated/vindicated by being in common with others indepdent and very excellent thinking and writing as i feel sometimes my arguments and convictions fall apart like ashes under my own later gaze
12. The ethics of incomprehensibility, Giovanni Stanghellini. in One Century of Karl Jaspers' General Psychopathology
as a teenager i used to sleep as much as i could. i wanted to dream, to have access to events and spaces that i lacked in real life (love, freedom; an erotic life). it was partly a space of wish fulfilment, as sometimes i could direct them towards what i hoped to see. but the fulfilment of my wishes was ultimately elusive as i found the person i most often hoped to dream of was the one person i couldn't summon in lucid or directed dreaming, no matter how hard i tried. often, i was chasing her in my dreams, going over and over the places where i might see her and coming away empty handed in dreaming and in life. and when she did come into my dreams, the dream relation was often hostile or a rejection. but dreaming, and she in my dreams, were touchstones or totems i searched for repeatedly for many years. the tension between the pursuit of satisfaction in dreams which could never be repeated in life, the belief in dreams as conveyers of meanings otherwise lost to me, and the powers of the unconscious to subvert, surprise, and overtake conscious desires.
in the last few days i have found myself sleeping much later than i normally do. when i wake up, i keep shutting my eyes and hoping to dream. this morning i got up to feed the cats and came back to bed. i am stressed and tired, having missed a (soft) deadline. i am feeling bad about the quality and value my work and my capacity to perform and complete it. many of the dreams have been erotic (but necessarily sexual) - charged three-way relations between my partner, myself, and an older woman as we all are on holiday in corfu or greece in a hotel that is narrow like a corridor and leads in a straight line directly out on to the shore and to the sea. there were other dreams too - large and well-populated dreams with bright colours and rich landscapes. a war memorial on a hill as a repeated location to return to in one dream, a locus of a trip repeatedly taken
trying to be and am grateful as i go back to work and face recurrent work demons. i am so happy when im not working, like a different person. a beam of sunshine my sister said. find purpose in joining demonstrations and being with people, not working makes me more helpful and kind to my partner. i have more patience and time for my cats. i could stop the phd now and be done with it. i think i would be happier without it and im not sure if i finished how i would keep working well if i was lucky enough to find a job. id like to teach. but my work turns to ashes in front of me when i turn to it, and i barely can turn to it directly. i love art and humanity and history and life and i feel my senses undeadenjng the more i can find my way back to these. but my work, that is such an expression of these things, feels too hard to do. someone wrote recently that wanting to find out how time regained ended was the reason they decided not to kill themselves. it was comforting to hear that this person i admire a lot had been in such a low moment. im coming back to life and reawakening or awakening for the first time sensually but i can’t square work with this. i sit down and i can’t look at it. today was a wipe out despite spending 7 hours ‘at work’. but i was happy outside of work. but we might have bedbugs which i can’t think about.
it feels odd to come back to tumblr but its the only space that feels anonymous enough to do a semi-journal. but happy for now.
“Military occupations have always seemed irreversible, until in fact they are reversed, but it always takes the effort of the colonized to roll back what the colonizers have done. Occupations never ended voluntarily, or just because the more powerful nation wanted it, and have certainly never been the result of a one-sided negotiated settlement initiated and controlled by the dominant power.”
— Edward Said, “Bitter Truths About Gaza”, Peace and Its Discontents (1996)
For the vertical transcendence of the absolute–of the Truth, of the Idea, of the Other–is in a way substituted a respect toward the horizontal transcendence of the other which calls for a different discourse, a different logic, a different relation to perfection. The mastery of the universe is transformed into the elaboration of a shared universe.
Luce Irigaray, The Way of Love, (London and New York, 2002), p. 9