koekstje

Joeri (Jelle) / 36 / Belgium

[godverdomme-toch]

At this point, I don't even know anymore if I love him like a brother or I'm just plain in love with him.

Not being able to name your feelings is the whole new level of suffering.

[godverdomme-toch]

Aaaand the question has appeared again. I thought I finally figured it out, until recent events.

Come on. We're both married. He's not gay. He has a wife and children. I don't want anything more than friendship from him, I don't want to be his lover, but my heart feels what it feels. I somehow let it win over my head.

[ocean-butch]

[godverdomme-toch]

Possessed Susie.

[romancesuggestions]

Your love gives me strength.

[meaningfulsuggestion]

Your love gives me hope.

[messyheartsuggestions]

Your love gives me peace.

[godverdomme-toch]

Fuck I'm in love with my friend.

Send help please.

[godverdomme-toch]

Okay I saw my friend coming back from work and we talked 🔥 he asked if I missed him already. Yeah I know, you don't have to pick on me for that 🤣

I told him about that idea of meeting in the group of 4, and he said it can be arranged. Some time after vacation, because he knows I'm leaving for a month. Then I'm gonna miss him.

My confession didn't scare him away. I'm so happy for that.

[godverdomme-toch]

So I told my friend I loved him. Like, spontaneously.

Turns out I was right. He knew it all along. He was just so gentle with me that he never mentioned it.

I hope this confession didn't scare him away and it's not gonna change anything between us.

[godverdomme-toch]

Okay now I'm gonna do a big shot. I looked through things and found out NMBS is looking for train maintenance technicians, not far from where I live. My guys keep encouraging me to try to apply there, and I just thought, why not? I know these trains inside and out, after all. They demand at least 2 years of experience, I have 12. I'm gonna get the letter of reference from my now ex-workplace, listing all my skills. The more I think about it, the more I want to do it. What do I have to lose?

[meaningfulsuggestion]

I think of you in every quiet moment.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

hot take: we still deserve happiness despite our mistakes and failures

[selfcarereminder]

hey if ur reading this and ur in a bad spot mentally or anything i hope u feel better soon and have a good day

[lover-suggest]

oh me? i was just daydreaming about kissing you

[messyheartsuggestions]

I looked at the sunset and suddenly all I wanted to do was tell you that I love you.

[heaartkey]

[mindscapic-exposure]

@inferablossom

[godverdomme-toch]

Today was the last day of my service in my now ex-workplace. It's heartbreaking, but what can I do.

De Lijn work is out of question now because they demand a driver's licence and I don't have one, but I checked and I'm gonna try with NMBS as a train maintenance technician. High level, but I have enough experience with these trains and I know them inside and out.

Wish me luck. It's not the end yet.

[godverdomme-toch]

I'm in love with his green eyes.

[godverdomme-toch]

I finally met one of two guys I have a crush on, the bus driver friend. I asked him if De Lijn is looking for bus maintenance technicians by any chance. He says they look for people indeed, but he doesn't know where yet. I'm really thinking of applying. Especially that I'm going to have a letter of reference from my previous workplace, which will list all my skills and contain a positive opinion about me as a worker. Maybe this will make it easier to find a regular job?

I know working with De Lijn sounds like a joke, but who says I can't try? They and this other workplace pay pretty well, too.

Wish me luck please.