i wish you could tell cats your food is poison. he seems to think the issue is i've forgotten that he is my kind and loving friend. the issue is Hospital
walk with me here as i talk about my oc and petalbedo’s first born daughter, cecilia
cw: grief, death
i have been considering the concept of cecilia being taller than both her dads (albedo and petal) and then it made me think of how she was probably picked on other kids a lot when growing up. i like to imagine her tallness was a result of the alchemical process of petal and albedo making her. one they obviously don’t realize till she’s like at least thirteen.
and then that brings me to how i think it would make cecilia feel weird petal passes, because whenever she stares in the mirror she sees only brief glimpses of her dads and it’s mostly albedo that she shares a resemblance with.
she would have turquoise eyes that blend into a light to dark brown, stars for pupils, and longer blonde hair off the top of my head. just to kind of get an idea of how she’d look.
and so with all that on top of her height i think she often feels out of place with most people outside of her family, but even within the family household she feels out place. of course neither her sisters nor albedo/petal feel that way but it can’t be helped for cecilia to feel this way when she is significantly taller than everyone in her family. but also this is partly why albedo says cecilia reminds him so much of petal is because petal had been the odd ball among him and some of his “family” and wanderer who i headcanon is close friends with albedo and petal.
this is something cecilia is well aware of especially after petal passes but that doesn’t erase how she feels like a stranger in her own home. this does end up making cecilia move out to live on her own. at the time she gets her own home she has been a knight of favonius due to her father’s (albedo) recommendation, and had been trained under him and worked alongside durin and sucrose, so moving out is relatively easy given the privileges she has.
i don’t have it fleshed out what she would do specifically after she leaves i just know she ends up going in and doing something with alchemy, and ends up quitting it entirely and keeping it from albedo and her sisters. they do eventually find out and she does fight albedo a bit on not wanting to do alchemy anymore even though she is really gifted with it. it isn’t until albedo slips up and mentions it in passing to alice that someone (rhinedottir) intervenes. this does cause cecilia to get more interested in alchemy but only under rhine’s training and due to her influence mostly.
i think this would also turn cecilia into someone who is morally grey. she does take a lot of negative traits and misguided beliefs as she becomes closer to rhine. thankfully it doesn’t turn into anything too dangerous (???) because albedo steps in to an extent, but it’s enough to make rhinedottir be more careful about what she says and does around cecilia if she knows albedo may find out.
it’s not because she’a fearful or intimidated by albedo by any means but rather she wants to still be able to see and teach cecilia. not wanting to risk losing her as a pupil even if it’s only when or what albedo deems appropriate. rhinedottir much more cares about teaching another of her own just as she did with albedo. and given albedo has his own moral greyness along with rhinedottir being how she is this still doesn’t entirely protect cecilia from rhinedottir and her influence. as well as cecilia just ends up becoming changed due to this and her grief among other things.
had petal been alive at this point rhinedottir would have never been allowed to teach cecilia. in fact part of albedo hesitance is because he knows petal would never approve, but given how him and their daughters are suffering with grief he lets it happen due to him caring a little less than usual and truthfully it is one of the few ways rhinedottir willing goes out of her way to talk to albedo and their family. so it’s also partly a bit of selfishness.
cw: talk of grief and death, unhealthy coping habits on cecilia’s end, self hatred, depression.
the lovely thing about cecie (cecilia/jie) is that they both deal with grief very differently and it does lead them down separate paths. it causes a plethora of issues because eventually jie has a better handle on his grief than cecilia and this causes them to drift apart for a while.
cecilia goes from lashing out a lot to feeling absolutely nothing which causes her to struggle with empathy on both ends of that spectrum. whereas jie is very sensitive to peoples emotions and very empathetic, so it tends to wear on his mental health. which is a horrible combination when they’re at their worst, much less a regular day.
jie sees cecilia go places he wouldn’t even try to step toes in because the people around him at home ground him and keep him level headed. i think it also may be partly how he was raised and the way his family grieved over his fathers death and how they eventually made peace with it.
then there’s cecilia, albedo, and her sisters, lavender and violet. they hold onto the memory of what was and what could have been had petal survived his illness. a grip that’s so tight it hurts. none of the petalbedo family handles grief in a particular healthy way but cecilia struggles the most.
it literally destroys her. in some ways it ruins her more than albedo because he knew what he was getting into, knew the possibilities, and prepared for this happening, but petal and albedo kept petal’s health private from their girls until he had less than two years left. this does blindside all their daughters especially when they struggle to completely grasp why there’s some things that wouldn’t affect them much but with petal it had a devastating effects. part of the reason petalbedo keeps the truth hidden is partly because they felt it was best so they could truly enjoy their time together.
given that cecilia’s source of comfort and safety came from both parents it weighs on her heavily because in her mind that happiness and comfort is a cup half filled with one of her parents gone.
cecilia builds up some self hatred along the way because she is everything petal was not. she is not human, she is not fragile, and it would take a lot to truly push her body beyond repair.
this also adds fuel to the fire when jie tries to connect with her about grief because they both lost a parent but cecilia doesn’t see it as an equivalent pain given how her father was a human and she is not. this is what causes a big fight between jie and cecilia that cause them to stop talking for a few years.
the lovely part that i am finally getting to is that cecilia and jie, despite everything, make their way back to each other and become stronger and ultimately healthier for it. the time apart was absolutely necessary and had either of them pushed too hard to keep the other from distancing themselves then it would’ve caused irreparable damage.
i want to make another post about jie’s grief at some point and then kinda delve deeper into cecie and their dynamic and lore.
given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that
dailybridgerton
titsay
annaxmalina
kaledo-art
stormborns
izzy806
ellievsbear
