A blog that makes you feel good. It's full of art, fitness, beauty tips, inspiration, laid back style, and sunshine. Written, created, and curated by me, Rebekah Steen. An artist, writer, part time beach bum and full time mama, who is always dreaming of Hawaii...and where to travel next.
Just a heads up that after eight years, I took my blog, Goldfish Kiss, off of tumblr. I’ll still post some pics on here and do the whole reblog/inspiration/tumblr thing, (so this will be the Goldfish Kiss Tumblr page. Fun times) but my actual blog from now on is now over at goldfishkiss.com. Hopefully, you’ll go and check it out, it’s looking pretty darn sweet.
Thanks for the love over all these years, (and understanding). Change is good.
First off, I’m not fishing for compliments on this one. I just promised myself to share the highs and struggles on here, and well...I’ve been-a strugglin’. Self Doubt: I kind of hint at it every now and then, but it’s becoming borderline crippling for me lately. So, I figured sometimes typing out the hard stuff helps me 1: make sense of it all, or 2: hopefully improve, or 3: relate with someone out there who might happen to stumble on this post.
So yeah. Self-doubt. It’s a massive struggle for me. Actually the inner dialogue I’m having with myself as I type this is borderline comical. In a dark comedy type of way. And that’s how it is lately, I literally could psyche myself out of posting, writing, or creating anything. All I tend to want to do is zone out and shop for expensive sweatpants.
“Why bother?” “Who are you to give advice/write about on that?” “It’s not that good.” “What's the point?” “I doubt anyone will like that.” “You’re going to . come across as narcissistic” ...you know, majorly uplifting and encouraging stuff like that.
But the best thing to do is ignore that stupid voice in my head, and keep on keeping on. Which is what I’m doing. But man some days it’s hard. Is it burn out? Is it Social media? Is it being a mom of a 3-year-old boy in a new town where he and my dog (who kind of scares off everyone but our new handyman who I’m convinced is the dog whisperer) are my main human interactions in a day? (Yes I consider my dog to be a human. Which might be an underlying reason for her issues.) Is it the time of year? Is it all of the above? Who knows.
I know all the inspirational quotes: doubt kills creativity and dreams, what if you fall, oh but what if you fly, darling (gosh I love when they add darling.) I've read them. And pinned accordingly. And I honestly feel guilty even writing this post. (See that inner dialogue is creeping in again).
But then when I step back, I actually think it’s a somewhat normal behavior. I mean is it healthy to think you and what you are doing is awesome 24/7? Nope. I view myself and my life as a constant work in progress, and although I’m pretty darn driven and motivated (minus when wanting to binge shop Monrow sweats) I have about seven WTF am I doing moments a day. Did I say seven, I meant 17.
Insert random art history lesson here:
When I studied in France, I read a biography on the painter Giacometti. I, to this day, remember, multiple conversations he had with a friend/apprentice where he would say (to paraphrase) his paintings/sculptures looked like absolute crap. So he’d just keep on painting, then paint it, then paint over it and then over it again and again, until he just couldn’t stand it and walked away (aka finished it and moved onto the next piece). His paintings and sculptures are worth millions ( as in 20 or 100), and I think are beyond mesmerizing. You can almost see his frustration in his brushstrokes and the muddled colors.
Pretty sure he kind of had crippling self-doubt, too. Man, I liked that book. I totally forgot the title or else I’d read it again.
The point of the art history lesson is this: I kind of thinks self-doubt is not only part of being human, but it’s also a HUGE part of being creative. I’m a firm believer that if you think you’ve arrived, and are as good as it gets, it’s just not a good place to be. In terms of art, you can always grow. It’s a constant fine-tuning, that really is never done, until you stop creating. In terms of how I am as a person, I'll say it again. I’m a constant work in progress. As in a Fixer-Upper not even Chip and Joanna can work their magic on. But I’d accept their help any day.
Which makes me realize, maybe this self-doubt is a good thing. Because it means this blog, my work, my art and my creating is a struggle. Which means it’s growing, changing, or being fine-tuned. And as much as the struggle and lack of encouragement my cranium likes to dish out can suck the joy out things, it’s kind of necessary. So as with all ups and downs, maybe trying to embrace this struggle might be a good call too.
Ok, now what’s the game plan? I don’t really know. So let me make one up.
1: Put my blinders on (blinders mean ignoring any outside factors which might be contributing to the struggle: analytics, the comparison game, any type of numerical figure that technology these days tries to use to value your worth) ..and JUST…KEEP…GOING.
2: Put stuff out there, even if it’s not perfect. You have no clue who you might impact in a positive way, just by sharing something. (I need to tell myself this more often.) Plus, there is WAY too much cookie cutter perfect stuff out there, darling.
3: Take a break. It’s ok to stop, breathe and regroup. Maybe even sleep a little more. Maybe even take a few minutes from time to time to get dressed, take care of myself, throw on some makeup and do some beach waves, and enjoy a cup of coffee while my son naps…instead of trying to keep up with some unobtainable goal or image of success my jerk of a cranium likes to imagine.
4: Rock some more tropical prints. Because I’m 100% convinced that’s one of life’s great problem solvers when it comes to confidence and motivation.
5: Cave in and buy a pair of expensive sweats.
Sounds like a good plan. Or at least a good start.
There you go. You have no idea how good it felt to write all of that.
Cheers to sunny days, gray days, happy seize the day kind of days, wanting to curl up in a ball and watch TBS romcoms on repeat days, days when I feel like I can get so much s**t done that I feel like I’m part ninja and days when I find myself staring blankly at a wall wondering what the heck am I doing, and why am I still in my sweaty workout gear from three hours ago.
Thanks for reading this. Going to embrace this awkward, yet necessary struggle and we will see how it goes.
Love,
Rebekah
PIctured above: A simple l’il pic I love but tell myself no to post, for dozens of reasons. Aka a perfect pic to use for this post.
Well these turned out to be rather lovely. Hoa Kai and I teamed up for another Turkish towel, and if big, juicy tropical flowers are your jam, chances are you might be a fan.
The print is based on this painting I did a while ago, ( if you don’t recognize the quote, please go watch Secret Life of Walter Mitty, now.) ...and really, it just feels oh so lovely to be wrapped up in a watercolor. Talk about an instant day brightener.
They’re limited edition, so get one while you can.
Hoa Kai X Goldfish Kiss “Beautiful Things” Turkish Towel - Available at hoakaisurf.com
Pairs nicely with Mother jeans Ankle Frays + Lack Of Color Rancher hat too. Kinda looks like a tropical print poncho. Fun times.
So we recently moved up the road to Gulf Breeze, Florida. This means a new closest beach, and a new pier to walk. I think the Pensacola beach pier might be not quite as famous for fishing and is shorter than the Navarre one. But hey, I’ll take these views any day. Especially when the water is freakishly clear.
We love walking (I mean running, I’m with a 3 year old), looking at fish, talking to the fisherman, and I don’t know, this time of year there’s hardly anyone out, so it’s a pretty darn peaceful experience.
So, hope you enjoy the wannabe drone shots. I think they tend to turn out rather lovely. Especially this one with a little ghost cab playing peek a bo.
Did I mention the water can get freakishly clear?
Gotta love the views from the pier. Wherever that pier might be…
Ohhhh December. Skin needs hydration, exfoliation, and a little extra TLC. Then our moods need tropical vibes, coconuts, and reminders of warm beach days. Shimmery stuff and products that help with beach waves are a good call too. So, figured I’d share this lovely l’il lineup that’s been helping me with all of the above.
Also, since it’s the season of giving, there miiiiight be a giveaway for people who have the attention span to read this whole post...
Without further delay, here are some products that are making my wintery skin (yes, it gets cold in NW Florida) feel less grinch-like, among many other things...
Moroccanoil - Dry Body Oil and Shimmering body oil - When you think Moroccanoil you usually think hair, but they've sent me some deliciously hydrating body products I now swear by. This dry oil is incredibly hydrating (gracias argan, olive, and avocado oil) but not greasy whatsoever, and the Shimmering Oil is also über hydrating...with a niiiiice touch of glow. Which is always needed this time of year when I feel like I look like a croissant.
Tarte Rainbow of The Sea Eye Shadow Palette - I had to show off the palette in the pic (since it’s all glittery and mermaidish) but the actual eyeshadows are all natural, beach-inspired, creamy, slightly shimmery hues. Yum. And can be applied with just your finger. Double. Yum.
Malie Organics Koke’e Body wash and Coconut Vanilla Body Polish - Our bathroom officially smells like Hawaii whenever I shower. Queue the Hallelujah chorus, for this divine sensory experience. With a ukulele playing the tune. (Also, I highly recommend anything by Malie as a gift for anyone who is missing Hawaii. Trust me.)
Charlotte Tilbury Magic Away Concealer - I’ve heard nothing but great things about Charlotte’s products, so I was pretty pumped when they wanted to send me some concealer to try...especially since I have a love-hate relationship with concealers. I’m loving this one. Lightweight, blends easily, stays on. Holla.
Eye Of Horus Cosmetics - These little black and gold, straight out of Byron, lovelies are my daily go to-s. The Goddess Mascara (waterproof yet not full of toxic gunk) Brow Fibre Extend (Helps me look like I give a damn about my brows even though I haven’t had them done in over 3 years), and the Bio Lipstick in Freya Rose. If I'm feeling saucy, I’ll swipe on some eyeshadow (all neutrals). Gosh, this line is just so rad. But natural.
Navy Haircare Style Navigator - I got this in a gift bag back in Miami and just recently started using it on my beach waves...and have had lots of freakishly amazing, non-frizzy, long-lasting, shiny, beach wave days. Pretty sure this spray is the reason.
Kopari Coconut Rose Toner - This lovely l’il bottle is simply a calming, fresh and simple skin pick me upper. Kopari can do no wrong. Kopari makes me and my crazy skin happy. My pits go loco ( in a good smelling way) for The Coconut Deo (kind of pictured) too.
Ritual - Essential vitamin for Women - Another Miami gift bag item that I started using, then went on their website to check it out, was fascinated, then was bombarded with facebook ads (and ads everywhere) until I finally caved. But I am glad I did. These vitamins make sense. I can honestly say I feel a difference when I take them regularly, and my skin is way less moody too. Check back with me in 6 months for a final verdict.
Derma E face oils - I’m all about the face oils, aka hydration and glow-boosters with cool, clean, ingredients. They just feel...right on my skin. So I’ve been really loving this duo. Rejuvenating Sage & Lavendar or Radiant Glow (has a little shimmer) = queue some winter skin plumpers/savers/skin radiators. (Pun intended.)
Peace out Acne healing dots + Peace out puffy eyes undereye patches = These are little clear stickers you put on your zits (Then I leave them on overnight) They make sure the acne medicine is absorbed (I haven't had any sensitivity issues), and they also make sure I stop picking at my face. Wins across the board. The puffy eyes are little cooling and soothing eyepatches. Which I didn't’ realize how much I needed until used them. I might be wearing both as I type this. Just imagine the glamour.
and last but not least.
kai*rose body butter - I wish I could eat this stuff. Yes it feels/tastes that good. And kai eau de parfum - brb, gonna go put some more on and think tropical thoughts... (If anyone has someone hard to shop for, here you go. One can never have too much kai.)
December Lineup, ( that could double as a beauty gift ideas guide), done.
****And here’s the GIVEAWAY. In an effort to share the love (aka free products I get to test out and share), and have a package to look forward to, I’m giving away a box of beauty products to try (unused, promise). To enter: Just let me know if there’s any beauty product you were ever given as a gift that you absolutely loved. (Yes, sephora gift cards can count.) Leave a comment below. Winner will be announced and contacted by me in a week. ** And the winner is Betsy Sherrock! Thank you all for the entries. LOVED reading them and it’s so cool to learn about new products and the fun stories behind each gift. Cheers! -Rebekah
Some late night rambling for you, that was written while listening to the A Star Is Born Soundtrack...on repeat. Dang, Always Remember Us This Way, can stir up some serious emotions.
Anywho, hopefully this makes someone out there smile, crumble up their to-do list, or at least go listen to some good songs on repeat.
It’s that time of year when the beach looks like the Bahamas and the water is ridiculously clear, but it’s 57 degrees out. It’s fascinating, beautiful, and usually involves very few other people out and about enjoying this visually and mentally soothing spectacle.
These are some of my absolute favorite days.
...For those exact reasons.
So pictured above = Me soaking it all up. Wearing jeans a sweater to the beach, but still being barefoot is one of those simple, hard to explain joys.
Not pictured = Levi running and playing soccer on a wide open empty white beach (He always ran out of frame by the time the auto timer went off on my camera. I don't blame him) BUt you can bet I’ve got a great mental picture of that scene.
It’s not like this every day ( I’m currently staring at nothing but gray and wind outside), but when it is, you know where to find us.
Wearing MOTHER Sweater and Weekender Fray Disco Dolls Jeans // MAI bodysuit + Otis shades
Pics edited using the Huji Cam app. Love this thing.
...or whatever your ideal temp/weather condition may be.
But this all got me thinking – having joy, regardless of the situation or circumstance, is a superpower that should be revered and aspired to acquire more much more often.
You know those people, the ones who personify sunshine and it seeps out of their pores, but in a magnetic/genuine/not annoying whatsoever way. But you know, you just KNOW, they are dealing with crap like everyone, or major bumps in the road, or less than ideal situations. Yet they still seem to embrace their circumstance with peace and a smile. Gosh, I love being around people like that.
Just take a minute and think of someone you know like that. I swear it’ll put you in a good mood.
Here’s mine...
Back when we lived in Hawaii, there was this lady, Jeri, who was that type of person. She worked at the Foodland by our neighborhood and she was one of the most positively infectious people I’d encounter on a daily basis (I went to Foodland a lot.) If she was working I’d always make sure I went to her lane, just to get a smile from her, and a “hey sis how are you doing today?!!” before she enthusiastically ringed me up while chatting (with me or a coworker), and greeted other people or did whatever she had to do. She just did everything with so much joy, laughed and made so many people smile. I wish I knew more of her story, bought just one more poke bowl, and could’ve given her a hug or slipped her a thank you note before we moved away.
But I really, really, really like the Jeri’s of this world.
I could turn this post into a novel, but I’ll refrain.
Baby it’s cold outside, or at least it can be. Literally and figuratively. Especially this time of year.
So look for the joy (or try and feel it), look for a Jeri (or whoever it was you thought of), and hang out/talk to/try to cross paths whenever possible so their personality can be infectious towards you in a good way.
Or better yet, try and be one.
I definitely will.
72 and balmy baby. 72 and balmy in my mind. Sounds like a joyful temp to me.
If you’re reading this, I want to say thank you in every language possible. I was just sitting and thinking of all the doors opened, opportunities, connections, friendships, creative outlets, and sense of fulfillment this blog provides. And I have anyone who takes time out of their day to read it (however frequently or sporadically you choose) to thank.
Trust me, I’m more aware than ever of how much people are screaming and begging for your time and attention online these days, and I’m beyond thankful for you, whenever you stop by. Big Time.
Thanks to you and your encouragement, I got back into painting after a decade-long hiatus, which I didn’t even realize had created a weird creative void in my life. Thanks to something as simple as a comment, emoji, share, or like, I kept on painting, and am finally getting my groove back. So thanks. I’ll keep the paintings coming...for us both.
Thanks to you reaching out, I’ve met some really rad folks all over the globe, and made some amazing friendships. As much as this is an online platform, it’s mind-boggling how great it is at meeting and connecting with like-minded folks in person. So please say hi if we run into each other, or reach out if I’m in your hometown. I love it. I love meeting people. You all rock.
Also, thanks for being such an uplifting, positive bunch of people. Other than about six or so comments over 9 years, it’s amazing how encouraging and uplifting you all are. So thank you! And please feel free to call me out if I ever deserve a slap on the back of the head too. I’m always up for a good discussion too.
Because you all read this, buy stuff I rock, design or talk about, and share things with your friends, companies actually want to work with me, which has allowed me to work from home and raise my little dude. It’s a situation that was never planned and is absolutely priceless. I thank God for every day. I really should thank you all daily too.
Oh gosh, I could go on an on…
Thanks for the uplifting comments on my posts when I’m feeling down (or just being real), liking my poems, spreading the word and sharing the love (since I’m an SEO reject, refuse to pay to promote anything, and am as OG in the blog world as it gets), and for thinking this is a special little site. Which I definitely think it is too.
I know every post on here won't be a home run, knock it out of the park, and things will always evolve and change. But I'm learning that’s how it should be. Some days it’s a poem, some days it’s a pic ( or a bunch of ‘em), some days it’a good hair day, and some days I get my act together and actually write a good long post for ya. Whatever it is, if it goes on here, I’m pretty darn proud of it, and knowing that someone, somewhere might relate, get inspired, or I dunno put on a pair of tropical print pants, try some beach waves, or rocks a bold lip color…damn, that’s the icing on the cake.
So in this time of year when we all get to sit down and reflect on what we’re thankful for, I hope you all know how freakishly thankful I am for YOU.
Gracias, merci, mahalo, danke, obrigado, efcharistó, ありがとう grazie…time to go check out google translate…
Thanks for stopping by. I’ll be doing my best to keep on creating content that makes you want to do just that.
This here is a giant cockle shell. Actually, the specific name is a Van Hyning's Cockle ( I think. I just googled it.) I never find them, I swear they find me, and it’s usually while on a beach run. They’re massive, natural beauties, and tend to wash up after storms. Also, when they're joined with their other half, they look like a heart.
So, the other night when I was pretty anxious and couldn't concentrate, I zoned out for a bit and started to draw and paint on this beauty. It’s a natural stunner, but I figured by showing it some love I’d be helping mend a broken (cockle) heart.
Craftiness to the rescue. For both the shell and I.
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