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@goldstarsappho
Thereâs no such thing as a âcomphet crush.â Getting crushes on or being attracted to men is not a lesbian experience. No actual lesbian has ever been attracted to a man, fictional, unattainable, celebrity, or otherwise. If youâve had a âcomphet crushâ, that means youâre not a lesbian.
[src]
less âtherapy is for everyone!â more advice on how to recognize when therapy is helping you and when it is harming you, more educating people on their rights and what they can do when their rights have been violated, more advice on navigating finding a therapist that isnât only applicable to private practice situations
less âdonât forget to take your meds!â more sharing of studies on the effects of psychiatric medication (wanted and unwanted/positive and negative), more discussion of how to document your experiences on medications so you can understand how they are effecting you, more support for people struggling to navigate getting prescribed/using/going off of psychiatric medication
less âalways reblog the suicide hotline!â more sharing information on what happens if you do actually call one of these lines (i.e. will they send the cops to your house), more teaching individuals and communities how to help someone in crisis without involving police or hospitalization, more open discussions of how to share what we feel and make others feel seen, understood, and supported when it comes to extremely difficult feelings and situations
LikeâŠ.when everyone has mental illness maybe the problem is with the systems đ€
I have to laugh when people plaster suicide hotline numbers and go âwell, mental health awareness achieved!â Thank you for referring me to the checklist readers who call the cops on you if youâre honest with them
"cavity searches"/"strip searches" are institutionalized sexual assault (in hospital AND prison contexts) and it blows my mind that i (and most others who have been institutionalized) was gaslit into believing that this is a dramatic take.
if you can't "keep people safe" without sexually assaulting them, you fix the resources and structures available, you don't accept the inevitability of assault.
a LOT of formerly institutionalized people are responding to this in tags/rbs with similar experiences and i just want to say thank you so much for sharing what happened to you and for reinforcing for me that i'm not alone or crazy. i hope you can find peace and meaning in it all
psychiatric + institutional violence is so difficult and overwhelming to hold because the vast majority of the population believes that it SHOULD have happened to you, that it was inevitable because you proved yourself an "unsafe" person. this isn't true, and we need people to speak up and change the narrative about institutional abuse. i spent years thinking i deserved the abuse i received in hospitals as a child and to this day, no mental health professional i've worked with has been able to separate themselves from their loyalty to the institution of psychiatry enough to recognize the full scope of the systemic abuse i faced as a Difficult Patient.
please continue to speak up about what you experienced and know that no 'crime' or behavior or mental illness justifies any abuse or harm inflicted upon you. make sure everyone else knows that we won't apologize or make excuses for institutions anymore. demand a better world.
may I just add. I was strip searched every time after being allowed to leave on the weekend, and of course, it was extremely humiliating, but also, it was pointless. I still managed to sneak in stuff, because if someone is desperate enough they will find ways. mentally ill people are not stupid.
corset stans are literally out of their minds. fully delusional. a youtube costumer is not a fucking historian LMAO
You see people being like âwomen looooooved corsets they were so convenient [which is why women stopped wearing them!], acting like they were bad is like acting like bras are bad.â
Uh, bras are bad!
Why is this in the lesbian tag? I literally cannot think of anything more het-attracted than sleeping with a guy.
OP replied âitâs from a lesbian singer singing about comphet! Ig context matters a lot lolâ
But itâs clearly not a lesbian singer if sheâs literally singing about having sex with men. Comphet isnât a lesbian experience, and actual homosexual women donât have sex with men.
OP added:
is your whole blog really about shitting on women who went through the trauma of comphet? Did you never get pressured to sleep with men or even feminine men? If you donât have the trauma of what Iâve been through then donât make assumptions lmao. This is just sad. Iâm glad you never experienced the gross putrid touch of a male but making assumptions and claims about lesbians who have just doesnât help anyone besides your own ego. Maybe donât shit on traumatized women luv
No, my whole blog is about defending lesbian spaces and boundaries from our oppressors, particularly those who appropriate our identity and use that to push their way into our spaces. (Also about period dramas.)
If you did indeed look at my ~whole blog youâd know that I have 10000% been through more pressure to conform to heterosexuality and more trauma related to my inability to do that than any Western tumblr user, given that I literally went to prison for homosexuality where I endured life-threatening torture daily for years. To my knowledge Iâm the sole living survivor of the prison camp I was held in.Â
Despite the extreme costs of being a homosexual in my country, I literally had no choice but to be one. I was born gay, itâs literally in my DNA and my biology. I was physically not capable of being anything other than a homosexual. People like me (that is to say, homosexuals) are fundamentally, biologically different from people who are capable of being with the opposite sex. Terms like lesbian are ours, not yours.Â
I've noticed even since the creator of the "comphet masterdoc" came out as bi, fauxbians are still trying to justify it by saying "well sure it contains some bisexual experiences, but it still really resonates with lesbians and helps people realize they are lesbians" and I guess other fauxbians are eating it up. I don't know whether to laugh or cry
They'll make literally any leap of logic necessary to justify continuing to insert themselves into lesbian spaces and to continue appropriating the identity of the very people they oppress.
the weird thing about comphet is that these girls who have trauma from men truly believe that their trauma wonât show up when they date women and itâll be a healthy happy relationship
you still have unresolved trauma, that doesnât go away just because youâre not dating the group of people that hurt you
Why is this in the lesbian tag? I literally cannot think of anything more het-attracted than sleeping with a guy.
OP replied âitâs from a lesbian singer singing about comphet! Ig context matters a lot lolâ
But itâs clearly not a lesbian singer if sheâs literally singing about having sex with men. Comphet isnât a lesbian experience, and actual homosexual women donât have sex with men.
growing up as a lesbian woc
the gold star lesbian discourse around comphet is really âŠ. something
i just wanted to give my two cents as 2nd gen immigrant and woc. In my culture, and many of our families (mine being West Asian) being queer is genuinely not an option, whether that be because of years colonialism stripping us of queer history, religionâs impact, or both. It still stands that being queer is unacceptable or unheard of. I was always curious about queer history in the Western Asia, and would ask if we had any queer folks/suspected queer folks in my family, I was told âthat doesnât exist in our race/ethnic groupâ.
We not only arenât allowed to exist, we arenât expected to.
I grew up not even knowing I could be lesbian. I tried my hardest to like men, I never noticed any feelings I had for women. If I liked a girl, it was because I wanted to be friends with pretty people âthatâs normalâ i thought, everyone wants pretty friends. At one point I was 12 and I remember being jealous of this girls dog because I thought âhe gets to spend time with herâ âŠ. and I still didnât put it together. I went years picking crushes, telling people I liked certain guys, to the point where I started believing it and getting anxious around them. I would mistake my literal anxiety for feelings.
When I was 14 I decided, okay I have to be asexual, because I just donât feel attracted to men, and being with them sexually disgusts me. However, I thought, âI like YA novels with these straight couples, so that must mean I can romantically like men, if not sexuallyâ. Again being attracted to women never came to my mind, it just wasnât a part of my reality. But interestingly, I remember I would wish I liked women, I thought âlife would be easier if I liked girlsâ, because I genuinely was terrified of the notion of even having to eventually spend my life with a man (as was expected of me).
Still I would force myself to flirt with guys, I remember my first kiss (after having run away from and dodged every single other guy that had tried). The kiss felt like nothing, so boring, I thought âwhy do people like doing thisâ. Starting from that point on, my high school experience was me getting drunk going to parties and trying to see if I could feel attraction to men. Drink after drink, nothing made a differenceâ I could not bring myself to kiss another guy again. So I led people on, faked crushes based on conventional attractiveness, felt nervous around said âcrushesâ.
I was inexplicably lonely in my experience.
I remember once at an all girls party when I was 17 and sober, I really had the urge to kiss this girl, I just wanted to be near her. When I heard her compliment me, it made me feel something for the first time in my life. And do you know what came to my mind? âI must be really lonely, I need a boyfriendâ.
I didnât realize I was a lesbian until I moved out at the age of 20, fell in love with a woman I didnât realize I had feeling for until my heart was absolutely broken.
Anyways, I find it extremely unfair to say that lesbians that experienced comphet through perceived crushes on men, are âfakeâ lesbians. Our expierences are not the same because our lives are not, our cultures are not. The Lesbian masterdoc genuinely helped me put the pieces together, so even shitting on it irks me (* clarification, you can have issues w it but to discard how much it has helped people is ?). Not every single lesbianâs experience is going to be the same.
(disclaimer: when i mention option, it in no way means being queer or lesbian is a choice, i mean it in the context of being queer not existing within our reality ie being told and taught that being queer is a western concept. many of us are raised believing the only thing that exists is heterosexuality which plays into us not being able to understand our feelings towards women ie thinking or even contemplating that we are gay, is not an option).
I am actually from a Muslim-majority country in Asia where itâs a crime, punishable by death, to be homosexual, and Iâve actually spent time in prison for being gay. My romantic partner was hanged.Â
It was still an option for me to be homosexual. Indeed, it was the only option, because thatâs actually how I was born. It was biological. I wasnât physically capable of being in a hetero relationship or of kissing or having sex with a man. It wasnât an option for the literally hundreds of other homosexuals I knew or knew of in my country. Thatâs why we were imprisoned and tortured and killed. We literally couldnât hide it, we didnât have the option.
Thereâs no culture and no country where homosexuality does not exist or is not an option. Genuine homosexuals are born everywhere on Earth, and live and die as homosexuals.Â
Why is this in the lesbian tag? I literally cannot think of anything more het-attracted than sleeping with a guy.
why do you identify as a lesbian if youâve had serious physical attraction to famous men?
Comphet. attraction to famous and fictional men doesn't count as real attraction because they are completely unattainable. I identify as a lesbian because I am a lesbian, I'm physically, emotionally and sexually attracted to women and nblw but not men.
I'm also assuming you're asking cause you've seen my post about it but let me just tell you that was a while ago and my attraction has changed.
This is what genuine insanity sounds like. Imagine literally being attracted to the opposite sex and saying it just doesnât count because itâs not âreal attraction.âÂ
so if you have a crush on an unattainable woman, does it not count? do celebrity crushes on women not count? by your logic thatâs fake attraction
Lmao it's entirely different because I have genuine attraction to women and not to men. But I literally don't have to explain my attraction to women to you, a stranger on the internet, for my sexuality to be valid lol.
Mind your own business next time? I know my sexuality and don't need you trying to invalidate me or trying to disprove my "logic"
Anon is so smart and based for this ask.
comphet is probably the worst feeling EVERRR!!! I just want to be happy and okay with my sexuality without having to second guess myself and wonder if I still like guys just because I want attention from them and how iâve always wanted a bf but never had one bc i was always overweight as a child and thought no one could ever love me bc the one time i had a crush on a guy he embarrassed me and made fun of my weight in front of the whole class.
Youâre definitely bisexual or straight, not a lesbian. Actual homosexual girls donât want to have a boyfriend or get crushes on boys. An actual lesbian girl in your position would have wanted to have a girlfriend and gotten crushes on girls even if she thought one couldnât ever love her.
A question to the crowd
If some gay men CAN like trans men, what term is there for those who CANNOT
What term means exclusive same-sex attraction? What word means âthis man cannot like trans men, cis women, afabs, females, etc.â?
What word means âthis person is only attracted to the same sex, only ever will be, and nothing can change thatâ
Because saying that âsome gay men CAN like trans men doesnât mean anyone HAS toâ doesnât solve this issue
You have erased the ability for us to speak on exclusive same-sex attraction with the words created by and for exclusively same-sex attracted persons. Answer for that choice and how it hurts gay men and women
