@gondorwillanswer - Tumblr Blog

pornhub: the government is doing a bad job of sex education. we’ll do it properly. public: applause pornhub: the government is doing a bad job of snow plowing. we’ll do it properly. public: confused applause

traceytonight

wiiuapologist

pornhub: chaotic good

sundercity

m86-deactivated20171116

what timeline is this

unfollovving

pornhub doing a better job than Trump/America

mydeddyalabama

how are the civilians in the marvel universe surprised by anything ever like every time something happened i would just be like

“there they go wit that bs”

darlingsterns

i’m watching an art theft documentary and they’re interviewing this art history professor from new york who was asked to go with the fbi to authenticate a rubens that had been stolen but it was a sting operation so they had to pretend like they weren’t the fbi, that they were some private buyer about to pay $3.5 million for it, and the fbi was like “this is a VERY delicate operation because you never know how they will react to what you have to say so let the agent do all of the talking, don’t say a word to anyone just nod if it’s the rubens, the last operation we did the guy in your position got shot because things went wrong in a second” and then it cuts to the professor’s interview and he says “i wasn’t going to fly down to miami to be a part of an undercover fbi sting operation to handle what could be rubens’s aurora and just NOT say anything. i was gonna have to ad lib a little” and then he tells the interviewer that when he & the fbi agent got to the hotel while he was examining the painting he started lecturing the other people, first on how badly they had wrapped it, and then about like how it had been painted, the history of it, what the subject was and what she was doing, etc etc, and he was like “i hadn’t taught a class on rubens in 15 years, so for me it was like being back in the classroom except my students couldn’t leave”

darlingsterns

at one point during the deal the professor turned to the woman selling it and he said “isn’t this just the most beautiful rubens you’ve ever seen outside of a museum?” (because the fbi had told him earlier that this piece had been stolen from a museum) and THEN he said “where on earth did you get it from?” and the group of people the woman had with her was like taxidermy-fox.png but the woman was like “inheritance” can you IMAGINE the fbi agent about to have a fucking aneurysm when this random guy you’ve brought in just to nod if it’s the right painting not only starts giving an impromptu lecture but then he asks how they got it

beyonslayed

Did we ever figure out why Phil Collins went off on the Tarzan soundtrack like that

vadersrespirator

Cause he could feel it in the air.

sasukesmixtapes

lee was so fuckin raw, he obviously wasn’t using a jutsu or anything so if u were losing to him it was bc he was straight beatin your fuckin ass and there wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it bc you were too busy catchin that left right combo, son lemme tell you those hands were rated e for everyone

socialistexan

White collar worker and executives: “Hurray, it’s labor day weekend! 3 full days off! We are so fortunate to live in a Great Country that Cares about it’s Workers!”

Service industry workers who know labor day weekend is one of the busiest 3 days of the year which means double or triple shifts and not seeing family all while being forced to be not only polite but cheerful:

spiroandthelacktones

While also knowing that Labor Day was intended as a holiday for them and they still have to put up with this shit

the-memedaddy

punksandcannonballers

no earth spoilers please, i’m only up to the cambrian explosion

punksandcannonballers

i’m really loving these new dinosaur characters, i hope they stick around awhile

punksandcannonballers

oh fuck off

emberkyrlee

OMG there’s a follow-up story to THIS ONE

GLORIOUS

geekhyena

OH MY GOD.

ultraviolet-techno-ecology

Suicide rates are absolutely going to continue to climb in the USA as long as our concept of “Mental Health” remains separated from material conditions. Antidepressants can’t cure poverty and alienation. They can’t cure the crushing pressure that comes with watching climate changing in real time, but feeling powerless because the government is too corrupt to care. They can’t cure the many chronic physical health conditions people go without treatment for because the US physical health system is bullshit. Always turning toward psychiatry for an answer is a perfect example of American style individualism killing people, because the problem is always said to exist in the individual’s brain chemicals, and society is always innocent. As the famous quote goes “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.“

enlillestarling

I rewatched Lord of the Rings the other day and you know what I really appreciate?

The men are so tender.

They cry, and kiss each other’s foreheads, and hug, and call each other ‘my friend’ and ‘my dear’; they’re respectful to women and faithful to their partners; they have banter without being creepy and sleazy, and literally none of that stops them from being considered “manly”.

More Lord of the Rings men please.

salemclowntrials

From now on, I’m going to greet all my friends like porn bots.

salemclowntrials

energyprison

Im from the future

e-seal-deactivated20210319

Big frogs?

energyprison

Nothing But

tonightweredrinkingfromthebong

its like marine biology Jackass

jacequilart

i love this guy 60% of every video is him rolling around on the floor screaming while his camera guy goes “hey….. u ok?” then 5 minutes later he gets up and is like “ok folks, there u have it, the Satan DeathRay Fire Monster actually does cause pain when it bites u. science is great”

jheselbraum

To be fair, this is actually a really good way of getting kids to realize that these animals really are dangerous, and he goes through the first aid either on the same video or in a follow up video (if it’s something complicated). IIRC, the whole reason he started doing videos like this was because while he was in Montana or something he saw a lot of Facebook posts about people whose dogs had gotten too close to a porcupine and they didn’t know how to remove the quills, so he (naturally) went into the woods, found a porcupine, quilled himself and filmed himself taking the quills out and explaining what he was doing.

He’s still fucking insane, but, you know, it’s for a good cause