Good Omens Headcanons

Welcome to the Good Omens headcanons blog. This place is for all those little moments that totally happened offscreen (er, offpage) in the fantastic book Good Omens. Founded by: Rowan Sidebar art: hoursago.

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Just a heads up: this blog is defunct. If you wish to make your own headcanons blog that's your prerogative. I will keep this one up for the sake of archiving, but I no longer feel comfortable allowing it to operate in the aftermath of Neil Gaiman's behavior.

If he were not directly profiting off of Good Omens this might be a different story, but unfortunately he very much is.

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When Aziraphale was the gardener, he knew nothing about how to look after a garden so really at night Crowley went outside and shouted at the plants, just to spend a bit more time with the angel <3

submitted by: rivers-ineffablehusbands221b

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Crowley pierced his ears using the sewing needle and ice cube method. He cried.

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Crowley’s probably like really into scented candles. He will spend hours in a Bath & Body Works just smelling candles (and buying one of each because he can’t decide). He keeps trying to sneak them into the bookstore because “No one likes the smell of books, Angel.”

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Headcanon that Crowley has Aziraphale paint his nails for him

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When they sleep in a bed together, Crowley does the “pat pat“ thing to locate Aziraphale

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When Crowley gets drunk, he sometimes goes to his greenhouse and cries to his plants about Aziraphale. Sometimes he hugs them. This terrifies the plants more than him yelling at them.

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Rewatching Jurassic Park and realised that how I picture Crowley is based entirely off of Dr Ian Malcom.

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Newt headcanon

So I just had a thought that what if Newt was actually pretty powerfully magic and that’s why computers always break around him?

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Crowley prefers pipes, bongs, and hookahs when he smokes weed while Aziraphale mostly smokes blunts (as he believes it to be more nature oriented) but he can’t wrap for anything and Crowley always has to do it for him

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Crowley (prefers to) drives his car at 90mph (but when Aziraphale is in the car he slows to at least 60mph), while Aziraphale drives a scooter at the speed limit (but when he has Crowley on the back he gets overzealous and will sometimes speed up to 90mph without realizing he’s doing it)

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Aziraphale prefers rainy weather cause it’s nice to curl up on a chair/couch with a good book (usually ones Crowley has given him as Christmas presents), Crowley prefers sunny days where he can take his mp3 player (that was a Christmas gift from Aziraphale) and walk around jamming in his own little world until sun down when he comes back home and sees Aziraphale asleep on the chair/couch and carries him to bed and changes him into his sleep wear then gets into his own and falls asleep next to him

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Aziraphale prefers sleeping towards the darkness/a wall, Crowley prefers sleeping facing a window with the curtains open for moon and sunlight to come through... but they compromise by cuddling face to face sometimes swapping sides of the bed so they're still facing their preferred arrangement

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Aziraphale likes to wear only a top with boxers to bed, Crowley wears only pajama pants and sleeps shirtless

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Aziraphale likes hot relaxing showers, Crowley likes cold refreshing showers

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I have so many… and I hope you post them for others to see

Aziraphale likes his coffee black, Crowley likes his coffee sugared and creamed to sickeningly sweet amounts

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Aziraphale is very proud of his ability to intimidate customers out of his shop. He doesn't notice the demon (occasionally snake) looming behind him death-grinning (yes it's a thing) at anyone who dares bother his angel