I saw someone else write it, but I wanted to add more.
Groomers groom their allies too. Predators sniff out the weakest and most damaged to be their prey. But when they find strength, they project their “safe” image. They loudly proclaim their goodness, their support for victims, their feminism. They are counting on this so that *if* they get caught, there will be a group of people who can honestly say “I can’t believe this, I never expected it from them.” Because they need you in their corner to help them discredit their victims.
Don’t beat yourself up if someone turns out to be shitty. Don’t waste a second of your energy wondering how you missed the signs. They showed you *exactly* what they wanted you to see. Their narcissistic manipulation is on THEM, not on you.
The best thing you can do moving forward is to give your strong voice and your power to the victims. Don’t apologize for what you didn’t know, don’t make it about yourself.
“Knowing what I/we know now” is a valuable phrase, use it to speak out against the predator.
They are counting on your doubt: self-doubt, doubting the victim. Don’t give it to them.
FYI I am retiring this account. It’s too painful to know what he did to those women and his CHILD (as a woman and a mother this is really setting me off) and partake in the work.
Art does not equal the artist but I don’t want to participate in money in his pocket or to proudly display my affections for the works.
Because the affection is still there. I do love the work. And that’s what’s so painful - sometimes you have to let go of something you love to save yourself AND the world more pain.
No need to argue with me this is just to let you know you can unfollow this blog and that you’re not alone.
