im not like other girls im 400 years old

🥩 he it vampire ⊹ pfp

[beloswittebane]

happy pride month ⊹ me talking 🖋️ ⊹ 🩸 me pictured

sources : my evil lab / hired / v1 youre embarrassing / substance abuse

[invisibleoctopus]

Your moral ocd is lying to you and tumblr is lying to you. you do NOT have to reblog any post you dont want to and you dont need to justify it and youre not prejudiced against a certain marginalized group if you dont reblog an Upsetting Post about a Current Issue said group is facing

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

i needed this thank you

[c0mputerbugs]

[marinaqua]

story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say “tax benefits”. and to this day my aunt still doesn’t know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling “TAX BENEFITS!!!!”

[osmanthusoolong]

My parents did this with me and “nuclear disarmament”.

[bradkey]

I taught my little brother to say “micro-surgical vasectomy reversal” (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn’t stop saying it for literal years.

[missvoltairine-blog]

My parents taught me to chant “Get your laws off our bodies!” for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini-parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ????????????

[floralgemini-deactivated2016111]

whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant “live free or die” until he calmed down it was fuckin weird

[onceiwashere]

when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say “what the fuck?!?” in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end

[waspabi]

i’m a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the children, the other day i overheard one kid say ‘this is my truck’ and the other one said ‘no, this truck belongs to the collective’; they all say it now

[haledamage]

whenever anyone picks up my daughter or she goes upstairs, she announces “I ASCEND” it’s the best thing

[so-many-ocs]

no dude it's so cool how attached you are to that character who is singled out and ostracized due to the external monstrousness that clashes with their internal spark of humanity. and i love how drawn you are to themes of horror and love, nature versus nurture, otherness, isolation, and the abject. i bet you have normal feelings about your own personhood

[jisuto]

[ceruleanheaven]

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

[thoodleoo]

been reading cicero's rant about words being given obscene meanings and i don't think i've ever seen a latin sentence that made me burst into such immediate and violent laughter before

[thoodleoo]

had a couple people be like "i have no idea what this means" so to clarify: the word penis in latin originally meant tail and only later got the sense of, uh. penis. so this is cicero complaining that nowadays all these hooligans are using the word "penis" for naughty purposes

[fritolaycorporation]

her name is pinky pony and she loves to go on a party. so get that through your thick fucking skull

[innumerable-voices]

1 in 5 people are probably plural

5 in 1 person is definitely plural

[innumerable-voices]

Top contender for my dumbest post ever

[kaijuno]

[tsunderebird]

[willemdaflutist]

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[koiagain]

[queen-zigzag]

[memorycycle]

first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

[ripempezardexerox]

[phillip-bankss]

I'm sorry your parents named you Philip ☹ I could name you something better

[wearegoingfuckinganywhereman]