hiya! let me tell you, you’re one of the best (cassie mckay) writers on this app ❤️ this is somewhat of a request but it’s also a bit heavy sooo its fine if i don’t feel comfortable writing it but idk i thought of it and cassie!
so basically reader and cassie r coworkers and reader might be a nurse or intern! they’re also very good friends (and some quiet love for each other) but what cassie doesn’t know is that reader is an addict, but not addicted to drugs but to self harm. reader is keeping it a secret to cassie and everyone else in the hospital but somehow cassie eventually finds out? idk maybe reader is in some big or small accident and they have to cut up reader’s clothes or something??
just a small thought i guess! anyway, no pressure to write,
Have a good one ❤️
learning to stay — c. mckay
cassie mckay x fem!intern!reader
word count: 4.1k
summary: with the heat, and you forgetting to feed yourself, you pass out at the nurses station. cassie takes you home to get you cleaned up.
warnings: this is a heavy one, so please don’t feel the need to read this if you struggle! , mentions of self harm, cutting, mention of an eating disorder, refusing to eat, mentions of scars (healed and new), mentions of razors, kissing, swearing, age gap (not really specified so did with that what you will)
a/n: i’ve never written something like this before, and i was really glad i was asked to do this. i think cassie was the perfect person for this and i really hope i didn’t get her out of character too much. i also hope i got it accurate, so if i didn’t feel free to let me know and ill edit it. i promise i wont get upset! :)
The first thing you notice today is how fucking hot it was. You never felt like it was this hot in the ER before.
Maybe it was the mid-day sun, too hot, beaming into the open space. It made everything brighter, hotter, stickier. It didn’t help that your face felt like it was melting already, the way it did when Cassie praised you. Or the fact that you wore a long sleeved shirt no matter the time of year—or that you refused to take it off no matter how lightheaded you got.
You also refused to pull your sleeves up, no matter how much you sweat.
The sun would be setting soon, and you couldn’t be more grateful. It would stop beaming, you would stop sweating, and you would cool down.
You chug, probably, your fourth bottle of water for the day, the July heat was no joke. And you didn’t need to pass out. Nor had you eaten anything today, and you probably wouldn’t.
You sit in the chair at the desk, taking a few deep breaths at a time. Hoping to cool yourself down. You press the cool part of the bottle to your forehead, hoping the condensation will do enough to cool you down a little. But it doesn’t.
You lean your head back against the chair, swallowing hard.
Trinity throws a granola bar on the table in front of you, a reassuring smile as she passes by. You hold it in your hands like it’s foreign, like you’ll be exiled if you eat it.
You push it into your pocket, for later, you tell yourself. But it will rest there until the end of your shift, then make its way into your locker, like all the others.
You run a hand over your messy ponytail, trying to rid the sweat forming at your hairline once again.
You’re tired, so fucking tired, but no matter how much you want to you won’t take a nap. You barely slept last night, barely even got a breath of rest before your alarm went off. Three, maybe four hours.
After you ate a whole bunch, you puked, sat against the linoleum of the toilet for hours. You weren’t sure how many, but it felt like a while. Then your hands reached for the box underneath the sink, dug sharp and precise lines into your forearm, ones you regretted the second it started to sting.
But you kept going, kept doing it. Because you couldn’t stop. You don’t think you’d ever stop. You knew you needed to, but you couldn’t.
Nothing good to live for, but you’d never make the jump. Didn’t want to leave this all behind, the one thing you worked your entire life for—medicine. Even if it sometimes felt like a chore to get up out of bed, to eat, to keep breathing.
Somehow you still manage to do all of that. And the one certain R2 who took you under her wing also makes life a tad bit better.
You decide to get up, only slightly lightheaded when you stand. White dots cloud your vision, and you close your eyes, holding a hand out to the desk for stability.
You take another deep breath, open your eyes, it’s clear now. You take a step forward, slightly wobbly as you move along. Nobody noticed you, nobody ever noticed you.
Only Cassie noticed you. But even then, there were very few times she did.
You walk into the bathroom, lock the door shut, sit on the toilet. You needed to sleep, but you couldn’t. You needed to eat, but you shouldn’t.
You dig your fingers into your eyes, rub the sleep out of them. You breathe heavily, a drop of sweat runs down the back of your neck. It’s even hotter in the bathroom, somehow.
The door swings open, and your stomach tightens.
“y/n, sweetheart? Are you in here?” Cassie’s voice is heard from outside your door, and you can picture her perfectly.
Cassie’s head tilted upwards, trying to look for you as if your head would pop above the door. Her eyebrows tilted together, mouth pressed into a focused line. Her hands rubbing together nervously, the jacket probably shrugged off by now.
You clear your throat, “Yeah.”
It’s weak, you know it is, but you just want to go home, get out of here. Go far, far away from all of this. Never see any of these people again.
“Are you alright?” The door moves slightly, and you know she’s leaning her body weight against the door. Her foot crossed over the other, head and shoulder against the door. Hand more than likely resting on the handle.
“I’m fine.” You shake your head and swallow.
“You wanna come out for me?” Her voice is soft, like you’re a little puppy on the side of the road that will run if she makes the wrong move.
You sigh, lift yourself off the toilet, unlock the door but don’t make a movement to swing it open.
Cassie opens the door, takes you in, looks at you softly. Her eyebrows pull together further, her mouth tilting into a frown.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” One side of her mouth lifts to what she hopes is a reassuring smile, but she doesn’t think she succeeds.
“I told you. I’m fi—“
“Fine. I know.” Cassie nods, because this conversation has happened multiple times between the two of you. On multiple occasions, in multiple settings. “But I want the truth. Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m telling you the truth.” Your tone matches hers, reassuring. Gravely, but soft at the same time.
She gives your face a once over, but nods anyway. She never believed you, you knew that. You also knew she wouldn’t give up until she found out what was actually going on.
But you hoped you could hold out on this facade until you were long out of this ER. Into a new workplace somewhere far from the depths of Pittsburgh.
You try to push past her, but her hand grabs onto your arm, pulling you back. You hiss in pain, pull the arm out of her grasp, rub the spot he grabbed.
Her face holds concern, leans her head in, lightly touches your shoulder.
“What’s wrong? Do you have a bruise there?” She frowns again, moves her hand up to the side of your neck, pushes a piece of hair from your face.
“No. Yes.” Your eyes widen when she catches you in the lie. You swallow around the lump in your throat, and your hand shakes slightly. “Yes. It hurts.”
She lets out a huff of air, but doesn’t pressure. She would never pressure you to tell her something. Ever. She knows how it feels, and she wouldn't want anyone to feel that. Especially not you.
“Okay.” She says. But she doesn’t look sure. Doesn’t look like she’s going to give it up. And that scares you. “Have you eaten yet? You don’t look so good.”
“Fine. Fine.” You wave her off, and her hand slides back from your neck to your shoulder. “I’ll eat soon.”
Her lips are pressed in a line, and she nods.
“If you need money for food, I can cover you. It’s not a problem.” She shakes her head, lifts your head so you look at her.
“I have money. I just need a second to go.” Your eyes look into hers, you hope that they don’t say anything. Don’t tell her you’re struggling, that you can’t keep any food down.
“Well, I’ll cover you. How about you go right now? If Robby bitches at you, tell him I gave you permission. I am your superior.” She bumps you with her shoulder.
“Okay, yeah.” You nod, but don’t plan on getting anything. You let yourself wear a soft smile that’s nowhere near real.
You slide past her, move towards the door.
“If you don’t feel well let me know.” She jerks her chin upwards, and your stomach drops. “You look like you’re about five minutes from passing out. I’ll take you home if you need it. And you should take that long sleeve off. It’s heating up here.”
You look back at her, nod wordlessly. Your hand reaches the door handle. And then you’re gone.
Then next time you see Cassie, you’re being shrugged awake at the nurses desk. You’re sweating more profusely.
“y/n?”
Trinity’s hand rubs at your shoulder, trying to jerk you awake. You feel groggy, like your body is conscious, but you can’t fully wake up. You try to mutter something, and it comes out muttered.
“What? I—“ Trinity lifts her head, looks around, eyes landing on Dana. “Dana!”
Dana runs over, pulls your chair out a little further, hands resting beside your thighs. She does the same as Trinity, shakes your shoulders.
You take a deep breath, roll your head sideways, blink a few times.
Dana’s cool hand comes up to your forehead, moves around a little bit. “She’s hot.”
“We’re all hot.” Trinity tries to bite back, but there’s worry there, too.
“Has she eaten today? Drank anything? She doesn’t look good.” Dana shakes her head, curses herself out for not checking on you more. “Could be a heat stroke. Or just from her not eatin’.”
“I gave her a granola—“ Trinity’s hands freeze over your scrub pocket, the outline of the bar still in your pocket. “She didn’t eat it. Have you seen her eat at all?”
“No. No.” Dana shakes her head, hands running down your arms.
You hiss in pain, still only half there, but gaining a little more consciousness as the seconds pass by. Your hand shakily reaches where she dug her finger in, pushing her hand off you.
“What was that?” Trinity looks at Dana.
“I don’t know—“
“Woah, woah, woah.” Cassie pushes through the two of them, and the crowd forming around the desk to get to you. “What’s going on here?”
Trinity and Dana’s heads snap up to Cassie, and she lifts her eyebrows.
“She— she was passed out. I don’t know—“
“Hey, y/n..” Cassie’s hand comes to the back of your neck, massaging her fingers into the skin. “Wake up for me.”
You blink up at her, close your eyes for a few seconds, like your blinks are delayed. Your lips tilt upward, “Hey, Cass.”
“Atta girl.” She leans over you, rubbing her other hand up and down your bicep, careful to stray away from where she touched earlier. “Can you sit up for me?”
You manage to lift yourself up, sitting up in the chair, Cassie’s hand resting on your back.
Dana and Trinity watch in amazement, small smiles on their lips as they watch the two of you. Cassie was always the one who could get through to you, if you’d let her.
“I touched her arm. She has pain on the forearm—“
“I’m going to take her home.” Cassie cuts Dana off, only spares her half a glance. “I’m not coming back, she shouldn’t be alone.”
Cassie pressed her lips together, swallowed something thick in the back of her throat.
“Can one of you grab her bag—“
“I’ll drop it off on my way home.” Trinity assures her. “Don’t worry. Take her home.”
Cassie whispers in your ear, helps you lift off the chair, wraps her arm around you so you can put your weight on her side. Cassie grabs her keys out of her pocket, unlocks the door when you reach her car.
She buckles you in, squeezes your hand as she ducks her head out of the car.
The drive over is a blur to you, you think Cassie might’ve tried speaking to you, but gave up after a few minutes.
Cassie unlocks your door with her spare key, pushes it open for you, sighs when her sticky skin hits the cool air inside your apartment. You’re more conscious now, can hear everything she’s saying, see her clearly.
You can see the worry on her face when she tells you to go sit on your bed. You don’t complain, drag your feet while you walk down the small hallway.
When she comes into your room, you’re laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with your hands resting together over your stomach.
“Come on. Let’s take a cool shower. It’ll make you more comfortable.” Her hand is reassuring on your back, and you stand compliantly.
She starts the shower, making sure it’s cool, but not too cold to the point where you’ll freeze. She helps take your scrub top off, trying to ignore the way her chest clenches when the granola bar falls out. She helps you step out of your scrub pants, one of your hands on her shoulders.
And then she sees it. See’s the faded scars, the new ones just drawn into your skin last night. Your eyes widen when you realize she saw them, you cover yourself up.
She doesn’t ask, just brushes the palm of her hand over your cheek, her fingernails digging into your scalp gently. Gives you a soft, but reassuring smile.
Somehow, she also removes her own clothes, steps under the spray of the shower with you.
She’s soft with you while she helps you wash your body, your hair, rid yourself of this day. It’s domestic, and even through your groggy state, you wish you could have more of this. Of her.
She’s even softer when she scrubs over the scars, and it makes your chest flutter. She didn’t make a big deal out of it, didn’t ask a million questions, didn’t ridicule you for ever thinking it.
After she washes you, she does it herself quickly. Scrubs her hair and body and then she’s turning the water off, and she dries the both of you off, bringing you to your bed.
She turns her back to you, towel wrapped tightly under her arms. She grabs you a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, underwear too.
When she turns around, your hands are on your face, and she hears what are definitely sniffles coming from you.
“I’m sorry.” It’s muffled through your hands, and you lift your head, eyes full of tears.
“Hey, don’t be sorry.” She frowns, a soft hand on your wrist to move your hand further away. “I’m not upset.”
“I just—“ You pause, twist your lips and bite the inside. “You’re spending the rest of your shift here. With me. You should be at the hospital.”
The pad of her thumb runs under your eye, wipes any stray tears that fall, listens carefully.
“And— and you just saw my biggest secret.” You let out a watery laugh. “And I just ruined any chance I’m ever going to have with you. Because I’m so stupid. I didn’t eat anything today. If I would’ve eaten this wouldn’t have happened—“
“Hey.” She grips the back of your neck softly, thumb coming under your chin to look at her. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.” You sob, look down.
“Look at me.” She says it softly, but there’s authority to it. You glance back at her. “I’m not going to judge you. And I would never, never tell anybody about this. You understand me?”
You nod weakly.
“You’re not stupid, I promise. Far from it. You’re the best damn intern at that hospital.” She tilts her head so you can see her better, smiles softly. “This won’t change how I feel about you, okay? But I want to get you the help you need. Can I do that?”
You nod again, let out a shaky breath.
“Yes.”
“Okay.” She nods too. “Let’s get you dressed.”
She slowly unwraps the towel, makes sure not to eye your body as she does so. She may like you more than a friend, but she would never do that to you.
She helps you slide the shirt over your head, untucks the wet hair from your neck. Then she slides the underwear up your thighs, followed by the shorts.
“I’m gonna borrow some clothes, is that okay?” She lifts her eyebrows and waits for a response.
“Okay.”
If you were in a normal state, you would joke about her walking around naked, but you weren’t in the state to do that. Nor were you anywhere near the stage in your relationship?.. to make that kind of joke.
She dresses quickly, then comes back to your side. She brushes your hair softly, trying not to cause any pain.
She kisses your forehead, helps you move up in the bed.
“You’re not mad, right?” You look up at her with watery eyes.
“Of course not.” She shakes her head. “I couldn’t be mad at you.”
She kisses your cheek next, then you shoulder over your shirt. She kisses down your arm, hovers over the scars.
She looks up at you, “Is this okay?”
You nod, and she places soft kisses over the scars, softer than the one on your cheek. She does your other arm next, then lowers to your stomach, kisses a line where your shirt rides up. She lowers herself further, to your thighs. She kisses the scars there, too. They are more faded, but she’s still soft there.
When she’s done, she looks back up at your face, lifts herself on her arms.
She places a soft hand on your cheek again, lets her lips brush over yours until you lean forward just an inch. You kiss her softly, swipe your tongue against her lips.
She pulls back, looks at you like you’re her everything.
“Not tonight, okay?” She looks between your eyes. “I just wanted to show you I’m serious. That this doesn’t scare me.”
“Okay.” You whisper.
“I promise I want you too.” Her eyelashes flutter as she blinks. “But you’ve had a day, and now isn’t the time for that.”
You nod, pull her in for a hug. You rest your head on her neck, and her hands roam your back, squeezing your hip. She pulls back only an inch, presses another soft kiss to your lips.
You pull your face away this time, smile at her. You yawn, and it wracks your whole body. You want nothing more than to lay with her, to fall asleep.
“Hey, no sleeping yet.” She squeezes your hip again. “I want you to eat something first.”
You whine in disapproval, reach your hand out for her when she slides out from underneath your body.
“Come on.” She reaches your hand, pulls you to the side of the bed. “I’ll make something. What do you want?”
You huff and let her drag you back down the hallway, sit when she pulls the chair out at the kitchen island.
She looks through your cabinets, fridge, sees what you have laying on the counter. It’s not much, but she could make something.
She finds stuff to make grilled cheese, and even finds a can of tomato soup in your pantry. She doesn’t ask how long that’s been there for.
“Grilled cheese and tomato soup?” She holds the can and bread up, a smile on her face.
You nod, rest your head in your hand and watch her cook. Her back is to you, moving quickly to get the food ready for you.
She places two grilled cheeses in front of you, along with a bowl of hot soup. She gives you a look, and you nod, look down at the food.
“Hey, you don’t have to eat all of it, okay?” She tilts her head, pinches your cheek. You giggle, look her up and down.
Her hair is in a messy bun, red hair moving every which way. You’ve never seen her with a bun, but it was very cute on her. Along with her in your clothes.
“Just try for me, okay?” She places a kiss on your head. “I won’t be mad if you don’t finish it.”
“Okay.”
You touch the grilled cheese like it personally offended you, but manage to eat most of it. You eat one of the sandwiches, then a few bites of soup.
You push the plate back, shake your head.
“Done?”
You nod, and she brushes her knuckles against your cheek. She takes care of the mess, tells herself she’ll do the dishes tomorrow. You needed her right now, and she’d give you what you want.
Her hand is on your lower back, guiding you back to the room, she pushes the door open for you. You slide back into the bed, and she holds the covers up so you can get in. Then she slides in next to you after turning the light off.
You rest your head against her chest, still testing the waters. She lets you lay there, no protest, and slides an arm around your back. Scratches the sliver of skin where your shirt slides up.
“Where’s Harrison?” Your voice is scratchy, the day finally catching up with you.
“At his dads.” She drawls. “I’m on my own tonight.”
“You’re staying, right?” You lift your head, eyebrows pulled together.
“Yes. Yes.” She nods, pushes your head back down where it was. Now her hand scratches your scalp, lulling you to sleep. “I should’ve worded that better.”
“No. It's okay.” You shake your head, squeeze your eyes shut.
“What I meant was..” She bites her lip. “I don’t have Harrison tonight, so I am free to stay here with you. And even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t leave you by yourself.”
You smile to yourself, the care from her warming you in a way that is concerning.
She kisses your forehead, lifts your head one last time to place one on your lips.
“Go to sleep, okay? I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.” She lays her head on top of yours, places another kiss on your head.
When you wake up, Cassie’s still there. And it makes you smile.
Her bun came out at some point last night, and her slightly damp hair fans out over one of your pillows. One arm is above your head, and the other is underneath you. Her mouth is open, and she looks peaceful.
You roll over a little bit, place a hand over the soft of her stomach, rest your head on her chest again.
She shifts underneath you, pulls you closer.
She rolls over so you’re facing each other, and places a soft kiss on your cheek. Your hands come up to the sides of her face.
“Morning.” She pulls back to look at you.
“Morning.” You smile.
“What are you doing today?” She smiles as well, her dimples popping out. You run a finger over them, resting there.
“Whatever you want.” You shrug. “We could just lay in bed.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “We should get up and do something today. What will make you smile some more?”
“You.”
You don’t say anything else, just look at her. She laughs, mouth open in surprise.
“Well, that can be arranged.” Her hand finds your hip, pulls you in so she can kiss you again. She rolls you over so you’re on your back. Her thumb slips under your shirt, rubbing softly at the skin.
She pulls away and looks at you softly, “How about.. we go get breakfast.”
You hesitantly nod.
“You don’t have to eat a lot.” She shakes her head. “Just a little something, okay?”
“Alright.”
“And then we could go take a walk..” She smiles down at you. “And then.. whatever you want.”
There’s room for suggestion there, and you blush profusely. You bite the inside of your cheek and lift your head to kiss her again. One hand finds the side of your face and she deepens the kiss. She lets your tongue enter her mouth, deep, and she lets out a soft sigh.
She pulls away and kisses your cheek.
“Alright, c’mon.” She pulls you out of bed like she did last night. “Let’s get moving.”
You smile at her, eyes soft, “Okay.”
She squeezes your hand, watches as you change out of your night clothes. You hand her a few pieces of clothing for herself, wordlessly.
After getting dressed, she pulls you in again, like she can’t get enough.
“How about tonight I take you on a date, hm?” She bites her lip, one side of her lips tilting up.
“I’d like that.” You look at her lips again and then back up to her eyes.
You weren’t okay yet. Far from it. And you wouldn’t be okay for a long time. Although, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit better. You weren’t sure what this was. What you and Cassie were. But you were sure it was something good.
You were sure this was meant to happen. For it to all crumble down around you to get the one good thing in life you needed. To get Cassie.
thank you for reading! as always, likes and reposts are appreciated. i’m always open to hearing your thoughts, so feel free to comment, send an ask, or dm me!
Hii I was wondering if I could maybe write about Cassie and reader having their first time, but reader has really bad past experiences with sex so Cassie checks on her & reassures the entire time ? If ur comfortable writing something like this of course :)
thoughtful — c. mckay
cassie mckay x shy!reader
summary: cassie knows of your past sexual encounters and makes it her sole mission to make you comfortable.
word count: 2.8k
warnings: smut MDNI (18+), the past in question isn’t actually explained nor in depth, oral (r receiving), fingering (r receiving), praise, showering together, cassie mckay dimple worship (im obsessed with them), soft sex, fluff
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Cassie’s hands are intertwined with yours.
They have been since you’ve left the hospital today. She held your hand the entire way to the car, the entire ride home, and even now, after you’ve eaten a late dinner, her hand is sown into yours.
She’s thoughtful, was the first thought that crossed your mind when you first met her.
You’d just started as a new grad nurse, scared shitless out of your mind when you arrived, way over prepared. But she helped you. She guided you.
Even though she was a doctor, had doctor things to do, she guided you through your first day.
After passing you off to the charge nurse, Dana, she checked in with you every so often to see how you were handling things.
It was thoughtful.
So was the random coffee that would show up at the desk along with sticky notes on the side, cute notes written on the color of the month. You were convinced she bought them in bulk in all different colors.
So was the birthday gift that somehow made it into your locker without you opening it. A cute basket with all your favorite snacks and drinks and anything else you loved. All topped off with your favorite colored bow.
So was the night she took you out for dinner after a rough shift that shook everyone. She noticed you nervously sitting in the break room, picking at your nails until they bled. She helped you stand, talked you down, opened up to you in a way she hadn’t opened to anyone else in the pitt.
That was the night you learned everything about her.
The night you knew you liked her more than just coworkers or friends.
But now, she is more thoughtful than ever. Her full attention on you, never leaving you, even as her favorite show turned on in the background.
She’s a vast difference from anyone else you’d been with in the past. She’s kinder, softer, thoughtful.
It warmed you.
You bit the inside of your cheek and looked down, unable to maintain eye contact for much longer without losing all of your confidence.
And you needed that tonight.
You feel the brush of her finger as she lifts your chin back up, dark blue oceans cascading over yours.
“I’m serious.” A crease has formed between her eyebrows.
You’d dubbed this as her ‘serious’ face months ago when you told her you didn’t want to have sex right away. When she’d made you a home cooked meal, your third date to be exact, continuously asking if you were okay.
She watched you bounce your leg beneath the table, watched you take long sighs in attempts to calm your nervous system.
You outright told her — fork halfway to her mouth — everything.
About your past relationships, how they ended, how the sex started and ended before it really even began.
She looked genuinely upset that night, so upset you were concerned a permanent frown would stay plastered on her face for the rest of her life.
Cassie reassured you that she would never do such things, that she’d take her time with you. She would never go overboard or do anything to hurt you. She’d always make sure you came before she ever let you touch her.
You never blushed so much in your life.
But you were sure tonight would beat that.
“I know you are.” A small laugh leaves your lips, but Cassie doesn’t find any of this amusing. That makes it all the more funny.
Or maybe you were just nervous and were finding everything funny at this moment.
“I don’t want to do this if you aren’t sure.” She squeezes her fingers between yours. “I don’t mind waiting. We can wait until we get married, for all I care. That’s not why I’m with you.”
“I know.” Your voice is soft in the quiet of her apartment, only the quiet lull of the television in the background. Right now, you were the only two that mattered. “And I appreciate that.”
She searches your eyes carefully, waiting for you to speak again.
“But I’m ready. We can’t hold it off forever.” One of your lips twists up into a small smile, eyebrows raised with amusement.
“I just want you to be sure.” She nods her head as she speaks, lowering her head only a few inches.
“I am.” Your free hand comes up to cup the side of her face, your thumb brushing over her cheek. “I promise I am. I wouldn’t say that if I wasn’t.”
“Okay. Okay.” She closes her eyes for a second, pressing her lips together, her dimples forming at the corners of her mouth.
You lean down and press a kiss to the one your hand isn’t covering, and Cassie leans into your touch.
“I just.. wish I knew you wanted to do this tonight.” She lets at a quiet sigh as you kiss down to the corner of her jaw. “I would’ve made it special.”
“This is special.” You lean your head back up to look at her.
“Really?” She lifts her eyebrows in disbelief. “We had takeout for dinner and we’re watching crappy tv on the couch. This isn’t exactly special.”
“It’s your special.” You emphasize. “And that’s all I want.”
“Okay. Are you sur—“
“Cassie.” You laugh, “I am absolutely sure. This isn’t my first time, you know?”
“But it’s our first time.” She leans down and your noses brush against each other.
“Cassie.” You whisper. “Take me to your bed.”
With a hitched breath, she scoops you between her arms, your intertwined fingers finally breaking its hold. She carries you down the hall, not even worried about the half open takeout containers or the television that’s still playing.
All she’s focused on is you.
She lays you gently against her bed, your arm wrapping around the back of her neck to pull her down into a kiss.
This one’s different from all your others.
Rather than the soft, careful Cassie you’re used to, this one uses her tongue, clashes teeth, lets out the most beautiful noise when you run your tongue against the inside of her mouth.
She breaks away from your lips to kiss against your jaw, towards your ear, "Let me lead, okay?”
“Okay.” You let out a breathy moan when she nips at your earlobe, hot breath fanning over your ear.
Heat pools in the bottom of your stomach as she kisses down your neck, taking time to find that sweet spot above your collarbone. She takes her time there, nipping, sucking, kissing, all to hear that sweet little sound you make.
“God, you’re beautiful.” She kisses lower, beneath your collarbone.
“You haven't even seen me yet.” You find yourself rolling your eyes.
“Don’t care.” She shakes her head as she leaves another mark. She fiddles with the bottom of your shirt, “Can I take this off?”
“Please.” You lift your arms so she can remove it easier.
You lean around your back to unhook your bra, and Cassie grabs the fabric from your chest, throwing it behind her onto the ground.
For a second, she only admires you, staring like she hasn’t eaten all day long.
She kisses down the valley of your chest before she brings one hand up to touch your left nipple.
“Is this okay, sweetheart?” She nuzzles her nose into the skin of your breast, nipping and sucking at the exposed skin.
“Mhm.” Your lower lip is pulled up between your teeth, breath coming out heavy, the softest moan coming from between your lips.
And Cassie wants to learn all the sounds you can make. She wants to elicit more sounds such as that one.
“So good for me.” Her lips attach to your nipple, and your body arches up towards her, eager for more. Your hands find her wavy red hair, weaving the strands in between your fingers like you had with her hand earlier.
Her other hand squeezes the flesh of your hip, pulling your body as close as she can get to herself.
“Cass.” Your voice comes out shakier than you’d intended, and you can feel her smirk against your skin.
“Yeah?” She peers up at you, blue eyes darker than you’d ever seen them before. “What do you need from me, baby? Tell me.”
“Can you touch me? Please.” You lick your lips and stare up at the ceiling, unable to meet her eyes, cheeks already flushed from her close proximity.
“Look at me.” She squeezes your hip between her fingers, emphasizing that she’s serious. It takes every ounce of courage you can muster, but you lower your chin to face her. “Good girl.”
“Please?”
“You don’t have to beg me.” A smirk finds its place on her lips once again.
Her hands come down to the tops of your sweatpants, eyes looking up to yours for a silent permission, which you grant with a nod and a lift of your hips.
She throws the clothing along with the rest on the floor, running her hands along the sides of your body, taking in the newly exposed skin.
“God, you’re—“
“You don’t have to do that.” You shake your head, looking away before her eyes reach you, arm instinctively coming up to cover the top of your body.
“I want to.” One hand comes up to move your arms. When you look back to her, her eyes are softer than they were before. “You’re beautiful.”
You choose not to say anything else, scared of what your voice might sound like.
“I know you haven’t had the greatest experiences.” She squeezes your hand. “But with me, this is what it will always feel like.”
“Okay.” You whisper with a small nod.
“Do you want to keep going? I won’t be upset.” There’s a crease between her eyebrows that you want to ease off.
“No. Please keep going.” Your eyes are pleading.
“Okay. Okay.” She nods, placing her lips against the tops of your thighs before making her way inward, spreading your legs apart with her hands.
Her mouth makes its way to your clit, placing a soft kiss that sends an unexpected shock through your body. Her tongue makes a soft lick up your slit, as if to test the waters.
You let out a small groan, biting the inside of your cheek as your fingers make their way through her hair once again.
“Mm-mm, baby.” She shakes her head as her mouth comes back up to your clit, sucking and licking softly. “I need to hear you. I need to know I’m doing a good job.”
“Okay.” Your voice wavers, breaking off into a moan when she presses her pointer finger inside. “Feels— good, Cass. So good.”
“Yeah?” She smiles against you, her licks beginning to quicken, her finger matching the pace of her mouth. “You think you can take two?”
“Yes. Yes.” You chant breathlessly, holding the back of her head to pull her closer to your center.
She slides another finger in easily, curling effortlessly when you pull at her knotted locks, as if to say easy.
“You’re doing so good, sweetheart. So good for me.” She lifts her head to look at you, but you’re already staring down at her. She watches your mouth open, a soft groan leaving your lips. “You’re close, baby. Why don’t you let go for me?”
You nod your head vigorously, arching off the bed when her fingers press deeper.
“So close, Cass.” You push her head back down onto your clit, moaning again as she sucks, fingers curling perfectly to hit the spongy spot inside of you.
You pulse around her and let go with a loud moan, nails scratching at her scalp, probably hard enough to draw blood, but Cassie doesn’t care. Not one bit.
“Fuck.” You sigh as her lips leave you, her fingers pulling out, leaving you feeling empty.
She crawls up your body, kissing your neck and nuzzling her nose into the space where your jaw meets your neck.
“Was all of that okay?” She looks up at you, and you nod, leaning down to kiss her soft lips.
“More than.” Your lips trail away from her neck, but she pushes her fingers through your hair now, pulling your head back up to give you a soft kiss.
“Not tonight.” She shakes her head.
You frown, looking at her guiltily like you’d done something wrong, but she only smiles.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” She shakes her head, placing another kiss on your cheek. “But we need to shower and we have a long shift tomorrow.”
“But—“
“Ah, ah.” She places a finger against your lips. “Tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.” You look between her eyes before kissing her dimple.
“I wanted tonight to be about you. I didn’t want you to think you had to do anything for me. Even if you want to.” She stays there a second, playing with a strand of your hair before standing and scooping you between her arms.
Cassie carries you into the bathroom to start a shower for the both of you, not too hot or cold. She washes your hair and body for you, not letting you lift a finger.
Only after you beg and plead to let you wash her hair, does she let you.
“You don’t have to, you know?” She leans her head back so you can get the top of her scalp. “I can do it.”
“I know.” You kiss her temple. “I wanted to.”
She lets out a small laugh.
“You know that’s what I like most about you?” You ask as she turns around to face you.
“Hm? What is that?” She lifts her eyebrows, waiting for a response.
“How thoughtful you are. Even if it takes away from your own needs or energy.” You look up at her through your eyelashes. “It’s your most attractive quality.”
She smiles at that.
“Besides these, of course.” Your finger touches over the groove on her cheek.
“And you know what I like most about you?” She smirks. “Everything.”
She kisses all over your face, erupting laughter from deep inside your chest.
“Cass!” You laugh. “I need to rinse your hair out. You’re getting soap all over me!”
“Good thing we’re in the shower, huh?” She switches you spots so she can rinse out her own hair, just staring down at you as she does so.
After you finish your shower, and finish the rest of your nightly routine, you crawl in bed beside your girlfriend, shutting the light off.
She opens the covers for you to slide in beside her, her arm open and waiting for you to mark your spot for the night on her chest. She plays with your hair, her other hand placed on the exposed skin of your hip, drawing miscellaneous shapes.
“Thank you.” You whisper after a few minutes.
“For what?” You hear a rustle as she tilts her head down to you.
“Taking care of me. It means.. a lot. More than you know.” You lean up so she can kiss the top of your head.
“You’re welcome.” Her voice becomes raspy as she tires out. “Let’s go to sleep. I’ll make you breakfast in the morning.”
You chuckle, “See? So thoughtful.”
“No, baby.” She shakes her head. “Bare minimum. This is what you do for someone you love.”
“Mm. Love you too.” You nuzzle closer into her chest, falling asleep in no time, not even realizing she just said she loved you on her own terms. Nor that you said it back without a second thought.
thank you for reading! as always, likes and reposts are appreciated. i’m always open to hearing your thoughts, so feel free to comment, send an ask, or dm me!
or: the one where you’re having trouble falling asleep, and cassie helps you
cw: angst at the beginning, discussions of dead patients, child patient death, med student!r, insomnia, mentions of anxiety, grief, mentions of nightmares, gentle dom!cassie, slight teasing, fucking while spooning but i may or may not have messed up the implied descriptions of the position??, kisses, brief makeout, finger sucking, fingering while clothed (r!receiving), slight somno but not rlly, vanilla sex, she’s fucking you to sleep, praise kink, pet names (r!receiving), not my best smut lol, a little bit of aftercare but like yall just go to sleep, barely proofread lol i’ll prolly go back and fix any mistakes later, kinda overused the word coo but i cant find any good synonyms for that one ok, shorter than my usual ig
Anxiety-induced insomnia was a terrible affliction that was unfortunately common amongst almost everybody in your world.
It didn’t start with med school, but it was certainly amplified by it. When you weren’t keeping yourself up to study, you were keeping yourself up out of sheer paranoia and just an innate unwillingness to fall asleep no matter how intensely fatigued you were. Being in the ER now instead of campus didn’t make things any better, because you were sent home after every 12-hour shift (that was if you’re lucky enough to have your shift end when it should) with pure nightmare fuel, along with the aftershocks of adrenaline.
That last part sums up what you’re currently going through. You’ve been awake for hours after your shift ended and you went home. Every attempt at closing your eyes and counting sheep ended with the sheep being distorted into the image of the patient you lost earlier. 12 years old. His school’s cafeteria wasn’t mindful of his severe peanut allergy; and on top of this, he was rushed to the PTMC just moments too late. In the relatively short amount of time you spent working at the ER so far, you’ve lost a few patients— you dealt with a MCE on your first day, for fuck’s sake— but having experienced this type of grief before didn’t make experiencing it again notably easier. Especially when it was a child.
You were given the usual treatment the staff gave someone when they couldn’t save a patient. Robby gave you a firm pat on the shoulder and expressed his understanding, telling you to come to him if you need to talk (impossible, considering how he’s always occupied). Dana basically forced you to take 10 in the break room and had Princess bring you something flavorless but warm to drink from the cafeteria, and Cassie— your sweet, beloved Cassie— spent some time with you in the room and let you cry it out for a few minutes in her warm embrace. While their support did help subdue you for the remainder of your shift, it all came crashing down when you and your girlfriend arrived at your shared flat. You were sure Cassie heard you sobbing in the bathroom, even though you tried your best to stay quiet. If she did, she didn’t say anything, which you loved about her; Cassie McKay knew when someone needed space instead of company.
And now, you were at the final stage of your grief, before you were forced to push it down and focus on your next shift: the inability to sleep, no matter how much you tried. Even with Cassie’s arms tight around your waist and her quiet snores fanning the crook of your neck, you just couldn’t relax. How could you, when you were the reason that little boy died? Logically, you knew it wasn’t. It was a pep talk Robby made sure everybody in the ER heard at least twice— a dying patient’s blood is not on your hands. You did the best you could, and the best wasn’t enough in their circumstances. But it didn’t make the rib-crushing guilt stand up and let you breathe. You couldn’t help but think about how the outcome would’ve been different if you pushed the EPi quicker, if you realized you needed more hands on deck than you had and called for them sooner…
“You’re still awake,” A half-asleep Cassie croaked tiredly into your skin.
“Yeah…I am.”
She just sighed knowingly, tugging you closer by the waist so your back pressed against her front more firmly.
“I know you heard it before, but it really wasn’t your fault,” Cassie whispered, one hand leaving your waist to rub your shoulder soothingly. “You did all you could…”
“That’s what makes it worse,” You sniffed, and you found yourself resisting tears again despite feeling like you have none left. “My best wasn’t enough— isn’t enough.” She brokenly cooed your name into your ear, and held you tighter.
“Your best is enough for the hundreds of patients you save on a daily basis,” She started quietly, her words making you shudder. “We doctors don’t have full control over a dysfunctional system and the chaos of life, but the best of us always ensure that what we do have control over is treated with as much care and efficiency as possible. You’re easily part of this group.”
“It doesn’t always feel like it.”
“I know, and that’s a good thing,” She assured, giving your shoulder blade a little kiss. “Means your empathy is still intact. It’s one of the most important things to hold on to in this field.”
She held you closer, and scratched at your scalp gently in hopes of helping you succumb to your exhaustion. Usually, it worked; you would be asleep in a matter of minutes. But this time, you just couldn’t let yourself unwind.
Cassie noticed this, of course, and brought her lips to your ear once more.
“Still?” You nodded in confirmation.
“Relaxing feels fucking impossible,” You exhaled with a joyless laugh. She cooed at you in response, cupping your cheek to gently steer your head in her direction.
“Poor baby,” She hummed softly, stroking your warm skin. In any other context, it would’ve felt teasing to you, but it just sounded as sweet as her dawning intentions right now.
“You want me to help? Because I can help,” She whispered saccharinely, giving you another kiss— this time, a small peck on your lips.
“Don’t we have to be up early tomorrow for–“
She shushed you in that warm, motherly manner that’s just ingrained into her at this point in her life, and rested her chin in the crook of your neck.
“I can make it quick,” She assured, her promise fading into hot, languid kisses to your neck and jaw that made you surrender to her will and melt into the mattress. Her lips traveled from the base of your jaw, across your cheek, until they finally found yours, taking your bottom lip between her teeth and sucking gently. You felt her lips curve into a knowing smile when you moaned breathily, and reveled in the way your tummy tightened and sank into itself as her ringed hand glided across it to the hem of your pajama shorts.
“My sweet girl…” Her words caressed your soul in a way that made you shiver— or maybe it was because her fingers were toying with the cotton of your panties. “My sweet, beautiful girl…today was hard for you, wasn’t it?” All you could do was nod, hips semi-raised in anxious anticipation. She laughed quietly as your locked lips broke apart wetly, and brought her hand back up, which almost made you whine until you felt her press the tips of her index and middle against your bottom lip.
“Suck, baby,” She commanded lazily. “C’mon, let me in…” And how could you deny her? You parted your lips, taking her fingers in and immediately embracing them with your tongue. She groaned at the warmth of your mouth, and watched hungrily as you took her digits down to the knuckles. This shit was too filthy for you two to be doing at 1 am, only hours before your shift began— but you couldn’t help yourselves. You could feel the blooming lust in the air of your bedroom, and the depravation in her irises as she watched you deepthroat her fingers.
She couldn’t let you go on with your show, otherwise you’d end up not going to work tomorrow. Reluctantly, she pulled her fingers out, resisting the urge to shove them back in when you whined in weak protest.
“Good girl,” She cooed, watching you blush and preen at the praise. Cassie hummed at the strings of saliva soaking her fingers, and slowly brought them back down…until she was well below the fabric of your panties, teasingly massaging your outer lips.
“You said quick,” You groaned, hips twitching as she dipped the tips of her fingers in your sopping hole and withdrew in seconds.
“Patience,” She huffed, giving your clit a little tap, but beginning to stroke the bud nonetheless. The stimulation prompted a broken sigh of relief from you, as you pressed your clothed ass against her crotch with need.
“Aww, you’re so wet,” Cassie purred, fingers leaving your clit to drown themselves in your slick hole. “You’ve been like this a while, sweetheart?”
“I just need a break…”
“Shh, I know,” She hummed, plunging her fingers knuckle deep and slowly massaging your sensitive walls. “I got you, babe…”
The quiet, needy moan that came from you made her nuzzle her face into the crook of your neck again, sucking purple kisses into your hot skin while her fingers moved fluidly inside your cunt. She made sure to maintain a leisurely pace, seeing the lethargy grow more visible on your expression.
“Just like that,” You breathed, pressing your back impossibly closer to her front to absorb the radiant heat of her skin. The heat did wonders to your nerves, like her body was singing yours a silent lullaby. Thoughts of the deceased you failed seemed to fade into the unconscious parts of your memory, even with how much your brain tried to cling to them.
“Yeah?” She smirked softly, curving her fingers until they found your sweet spot. You gasped and whimpered in delight your right hand curling feebly around her moving wrist while your toes curled.
“Yes,” You managed. “Feels so good…” The lewd, slick sounds of your girlfriend’s fingers sinking repeatedly into your sticky pussy filled the room, dizzying your senses and making your face burn.
“I can see that,” She giggled quietly. She hugged you closer, making sure you were in a comfortable position to fall asleep but never halting her movements. She felt so deep inside you that you swore you almost felt the edge of the veins on the back of her hand…or maybe that was a sleepy delusion, because you were starting to battle your eyelids as they rose in weight. “Y’so tight, baby…even when you’re tired.”
“Fuck,” You exhaled dazedly, squirming tiredly as her fingers curled and pushed against your spot. Her thumb pressed firmly against your swollen clit, rubbing it in languid circles to help you approach your impending orgasm.
“You’re being so good, hon,” She whispered to you, her movements speeding slightly but never growing aggressive. “Letting me wear you out like this…just relax f’me.”
She gave you another kiss on the jaw, as her fingers worked your pussy steadily. Your bones felt more leadened by the minute, your moans mixing with tiny yawns while your brain swam in nothing but bliss. The squelching sounds rose in volume as your cunt drooled all over her skin, walls tightening greedily around Cassie’s fingers like they wanted to consume her. Her expression grew reverent at the sight of the fucked-out, serene one of yours, her free hand ascending up your stomach under your shirt to cup one of yours tits through the bra.
“You close, sweet girl?” She mumbled, her thumb on your clit circling a little faster.
“Y-Yeah…”
“Yeah?” She affirmed with a little grin, observing as you bit your lip. “Gonna make you cum so good, baby…you want that?”
“Yes…please…”
“Look at those manners,” She praised, leaning over to kiss your cheek while she finger-fucked your drenched pussy. “So good for me, sweetheart…I got you.”
You could feel every muscle composing your body from the waist-down contract, your hips bucking to grind sloppily against her hand as you chased after your high. She chuckled, then replaced her thumb with the heel of her palm, letting it dig between your upper folds and implant against your increasingly sensitive clit. The change only made the fruit of your hips’ labor sweeter.
“I’m gonna— please–“
“Go ahead, doll,” She urged, throwing a leg over yours to stop you from writhing too much while she fucked you. “Give it to me.”
It wasn’t a total mind-fuck of an orgasm, intense and overwhelming— no, it simply washed over you like a wave of clouds, drifting through your body and mind and bringing you gentle euphoria. It was just what you needed, and McKay knew it. She watched as your lips parted in a silent moan, your breaths momentarily shorter as you hit your peak and blessed her skin with your gluey release, before lengthening again as your hips descended back into the sheets.
Cassie pulled her fingers out of your pajama shorts, popping them into her own mouth to taste your essence and moaning softly at your flavor. After sucking them clean, she realizes she hasn’t heard your voice in a considerable amount of time.
“You okay, hon?”
The only response she received was a quiet snore.
She snickered in silence, but softened as she watched your tranquil features and the slow rise and fall of your chest. Something about how mellowed you looked made her heart flutter. She made an absolute mess of your panties, no doubt, but she didn’t have the heart to disturb your peace; additionally, her own eyelids were fighting for their right to shut, and she hoped that her alarm was loud and persistent enough to wake the both of you up in the morning, when the two of you would be indubitably sleep-deprived and heavy-bodied.
So all Cassie did was hold you tighter, kiss your hair, and whisper sweet nothings in your ear until she drifted off and shared your solace.
A/N: sorry for the delay!! had a lot of prep to do cuz i’m starting my second semester of uni so i didn’t have a lot of time to write…that being said i’ll probably be writing less frequently due to my winter break being over but i’ll try to upload every week at the very least😭 enjoy this badly written vanilla smut in the meantime lol
I have a request for reader asking Cassie Mckay to choke her out for the first time. Cassie is hesitant, but the reader explains that she feels SO safe with Cassie that it's nothing but super hot.
oh i need mckay headlock backshots after a hard shift until you can't think of anything else but her strap slamming into you. . . 🤤🤤
in all seriousness,, i feel like she'd be so serious about it (╥ᴗ╥) the second you'd mention being comfortable with trying it out, she'd sit you down to have a lengthy conversation. when it was appropriate. whether you wanted a safe word. etc. etc. her expression blank,, and so thoughtful!!! it almost makes you think of her going dr mckay mode which just makes you more horny!! she'll end the convo w a curt "noted" or some corny bullshit 😭😭 i need her loser ass IMMEDIATELY
you really don't know when you have it coming next, so it really catches you off guard. until you feel her hands on your neck while strapping you down, hesitant at first, before giving a little press of pressure, thumb stroking the skin as if to soothe directly after. you come so hard,, you're pretty sure you black out for like a few seconds.
her giving you puppy eyes right after 🥺🥺🥺 literally opening your eyes to find her centimeters away from your face, asking if you're okay, how you're feeling, if you need water. all while stroking your face. and you have to tell her that was the hottest thing she ever did.
Vanessa dirty talk… Vanessa talking dirty… Vanessa saying filthy things in my ear… Vanessa having a voice kink…
thinking about how she's so vocal during sex, so she'd be whispering filthy things into your ear and getting interrupted by her own moans @__@
"can you feel—fuck, oh god—can you feel how tight my pussy is around your fingers?"
vanessa scissoring with you, whispering into your ear, "i'm gonna cum—nngh, shit—gonna cum inside of you."
vanessa hugging you from behind in public, whispering, "i want you to knock me up with your strap when we get home," and then acting like she didn't just whisper the filthiest thing in your ear when you turn around, all shocked 😭 she just smiles at you and shrugs, kisses your parted lips and says you're gonna get flies if you keep it open any longer.
but when you both go back and forth with the teasing, when you whisper equally as filthy things into vanessa's ear? she turns into a flustered mess. her face gets all red, and she squirms in your grip, eyes darkening from the dirty talk filling her ear.
mumbling, "i can't stop thinking about you gagging on my strap," into her ear while you're beside her, lips forming into a smirk when you notice her brain melt in real time. if you're ever behind her, she will subtly push her ass back into your front while you mutter filthy things to her. doesn't matter if ur in line or near people, she gets so fuzzy from your words that she'll grind on you in public.
vanessa egging you on while you fuck her, telling you such dirty words that make you even more eager.
"you're so obsessed with my pussy, aren't you? you can't get enough," while her legs are trapped between your head, suffocating you with her cunt.
god, she loves hearing your voice when she's fucking you. the way it's so raspy and breathy, the way you don't make sense half the time because she's fucking you so good <3 her clit throbs when you babble nonsense into her ear while pounding into her.
Relaxation | Vanessa Afton/Shelly x GenderNeutral!Reader | Smut
hi there!
well, I have nothing to say for myself. I couldn't stop thinking about this, so I wrote it, here it is.
hope you enjoy! take care! <3
summary; Vanessa had a rough day and just wants to feel normal, so you help her relax in the best way you both know how.
Minors Don't Interact, please!
contents: GenderNeutral!Reader; Mentions of Past Trauma and Abuse; plays shortly before the second movie; Established Relationship; light Fluff; Smut; Facesitting; Oral Sex (Cunnilingus); Implied Power Dynamics; only Vanessa is being pleasured during the fic. [if you think I should have mentioned anything else here, please let me know!]
Whenever Vanessa has had a rough day, you’d only know by the way her shoulders never relaxed and the crease between her eyebrows stayed there, whether or not she was smiling at you. She didn’t like talking about it, let alone be openly in a bad mood.
You didn’t know too much about her past, but you knew that she grew up with an abusive father. That was all she had told you, though. And abuse could take many forms, you didn’t want to assume. Maybe one day she’d feel ready to tell you more, but that was entirely up to her. You would never pressure her into sharing more than she felt comfortable with.
For the time being, you got used to silently supporting her when she needed it. Navigating that without upsetting her further was difficult at first, but you got the hang of it eventually. It was all about noticing the smallest shift in her body language and facial expressions, the tiniest ways her muscles would relax when you said or did just the right thing for her that helped her feel safe. You’d be lying if you said that it didn’t fill you with pride to be able to help her relax and feel better after a particularly rough day, whether it was work-related or not.
Vanessa let herself fall into her usual seat on the couch with a heavy sigh, throwing her head back against the backrest, her shoulders tense, a deep crease between her eyebrows, her eyes closed, and her mouth set in a thin line. She took a few deep breaths before opening her eyes and attempting to smile at you, only for it to look forced.
“Not a good day?” you asked softly, putting your hand in her silky hair and stroking it ever so gently. You fixed her with an equally gentle gaze, a small, compassionate smile on your lips.
She shook her head ever so slightly, her strained display of being okay wavering and failing, as she relaxed into your hand at the side of her head. Over time, you learned that she loved to have her hair played with in every way. It wasn’t something she would just let anybody do, though. And it was a privilege you didn’t take lightly.
“I don’t know if I can go back to Spin Class,” she murmured after a few more beats of comfortable silence.
“Why not?” You frowned, but kept stroking her hair while you talked to keep her feeling safe. “I thought you loved it there. Even made some friends.”
Another heavy sigh pushed past her lips. Vanessa sat up a little straighter, moving her head away from your gentle hand, which you let fall onto the backrest. It was better to not force any physical contact with her, then.
“I did. But…,” she paused, hesitating as she opened and closed her mouth a few times before shaking her head, looking frustrated with herself, “never mind.”
Every time she stopped herself from actually telling you what was wrong, your heart broke a little. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust you, you knew that. And it didn’t hurt because you desperately wanted to know; although that was part of it. It hurt because you could tell that she wanted to talk about it, but couldn’t get it past whatever blockage was inside her mind, which told her that she would be in immediate danger if she did.
“Do you want to be left alone right now?” you asked after giving her some time to say more if she decided to, but she didn’t. You accompanied the question with another gentle smile to let her know that you only meant well.
“No,” Vanessa responded while her gaze was softening just looking at you, “I just want to feel normal.”
That was all she had to say for you both to know what she needed and wanted most at that time – to get out of her head.
Thus, you soon found yourself lying on your back on the couch with Vanessa on top of you, straddling your head as she rubbed her wet cunt against your chin, lips, and tongue. Her right hand was holding onto the couch’s backrest for support while her left hand grabbed the top of your head, holding you in place for her to use as she pleased. Your own hands were stroking all over her body, her thighs, her ass, her waist, her breasts.
Her pleasure-filled moans were like music to your ears. Her eyes were closed and the crease between her eyebrows remained, but now it was mostly due to focusing on her pleasure, rather than whatever had upset her that day.
You loved looking at Vanessa while she was on top of you like this, grinding down on the lower half of your face. The way her blonde hair swung freely with the movement of her entire body, how concentrated she was with chasing her orgasm through you, how her deep red lips were spit-slick and slightly swollen from making out heavily before she got on top of you, how her mouth hung slightly open and all those sweet noises got past those pretty lips, how her cheeks reddened and her brow was decorated with a thin sheen of sweat, how her breasts moved along with the rest of her body, bouncing in rhythm with her hips, how her nipples took on the same colour as her lips after you twisted them between your thumbs and index-fingers, while you’ve been kissing her breathless earlier, and how the scar on her abdomen, that she never told you the truth about before, was constantly in your line of sight, making you aware of a story of survival you didn’t really know about yet, but admired her for all the same.
All of those things you loved about her simply displayed for your eyes to feast on, while she was able to escape her own mind with your help. You wouldn’t change it for the world. You’d lay there and let her use you like that forever if you could.
“Y/N! Ah, I’m close,” she moaned, doubling her efforts as her thighs around your face and the hand on your head tightened with them.
Groaning affirmatively in answer, you grabbed one of her breasts with one hand and held onto her waist more tightly with the other, keeping her steady on top of you. Your thumb found her scar, though, just like it always did, lightly stroking over it. And you, too, doubled your own efforts as you flicked your tongue against her clit more insistently then.
Your nose was buried in her pubic hair, breathing in her scent constantly and feeling dizzy with how much you loved it, feeling it on your cheeks and lips. By then, you couldn’t taste and smell anything that wasn’t her anymore and it drove you wild with need.
Eventually, Vanessa’s moans became shorter and higher, coming out in bursts in the rhythm of her hips, until she ground down on your tongue, lips, and chin in tiny circling motions, while her orgasm finally ripped through her body, tearing long, pleasure-filled moans from her. She kept at it for a few more moments, riding it all out until the stimulation on her clit became too much and she lifted her body off of you, hovering over your head with trembling thighs and a heaving chest.
Breathing heavily, she opened her eyes to look at you and a genuine smile stretched her lips wide immediately.
Vanessa shuffled down a little until she was lying on top of you and her lower body rested on yours, so she could hold herself up more easily. Her hands found your chest, stroking gently over it, as she continued to smile at you. Her breathing calmed down slowly and so did your own.
Grinning at Vanessa, you put your hand back into her hair once again that night and played with it. Chuckling softly, she leaned into your hand for a moment before moving her head forward to catch your lips in a much less heated kiss then. You were sure that she could only taste herself on your lips, but she clearly didn’t mind it when she simply kept pecking your lips over and over again, still smiling slightly.
The lower half of your face was slick with her juices, you could feel them drying and cooling down. You were still feeling hot all over, needing her, wanting pleasure, wanting her, loving her. You would never tire of it, couldn’t possibly.
For the moment, though, you were already satisfied by the fact that the tension in her shoulders was gone, such as the crease between her eyebrows. Her face was smooth and relaxed, her whole body was. And that was all that truly mattered to you. Wrapping your arm around her waist, you pulled her closer to you, almost like you were trying to fuse your bodies together. She breathed out a soft laugh, stopping the sweet kisses to burrow her head into your neck, inhaling your scent, and sighing lightly, sounding relieved.
“Thank you,” she mumbled, pressing a gentle kiss against the side of your neck. “I’ll return the favour in a minute, I promise.”
Smiling to yourself, you nodded slightly in answer. You could wait.
reader struggling with their mental health & family issues, vanessa comforting them? <3
i just know she's the best at cheering you up with a pep talk....she sits there with you, lets you be angry and upset over everything, listens to you vent while she rubs your back. she doesn't try to 'fix' what you're going through, just tries to make you feel a bit better, to try and see a bright side if she can. she knows all too well about family issues, and mental health for that matter, but i feel like she usually tries to push down those depressing feelings. but she hates seeing you like this, and she should really try to take her own advice sometimes because i know she's so good at it :(
thinking of vanessa trying to take you out on walks to get some fresh air after you've been down in the dumps....enjoying the nice breeze, holding her hand while walking, sitting down somewhere and talking about everything that's on your mind. if you don't wanna walk, that's fine! just getting out is enough, and she's more than happy to take you out driving. and you never have to talk to her about your issues. she just wants to understand what's going on as best as she can, but if you don't wanna talk to her about that family stuff, you don't have to. sometimes all you need is for her to be there for you, to hold you, to kiss you, and make it all feel better, even if it's just for a bit.
protective vanessa, who just wants to scream at your family when you invite her over....and she's most definitely mumbled some sarcastic shit under her breath after they start something with you. but usually, she's good and just sticks by you and with you because you don't want it to get even more out of hand and she respects it, even though she just wants to knock some sense into your family.
pouty but worried vanessa when you get all snappy with her because you can't take any more of this stupid feeling in your brain. you've just been irritated all day, at her, at nothing, at the way you can't even think straight. and of course, she's her usual comforting self, and for some reason, it pisses you off that day. raising your voice at her for something so stupid, but you get all choked up and start crying instead.
"hey, c'mere." through your blurry vision, you can see vanessa open her arms up. she doesn't make an attempt to walk toward you. she wants you to come to her, to know you want that physical touch.
you shake your head, hands hiding your crying face as sobs rack your body violently.
it makes something in vanessa's stomach drop. she hates seeing you down in the dumps, but seeing you cry like this? it's her worst nightmare.
"can i come to you?" she asks, dropping her arms. for a few moments, all you do is sob, lips quivering, hands rubbing your face to get yourself to calm the fuck down. but then you give her a little nod.
the moment she embraces you, you cling onto her like she's your lifeline. "i'm sorry."
vanessa shushes you, hands stroking your back up and down, up and down. if she weren't holding you tight, you think you would've collapsed on the floor the moment you hugged her back.
"it's not your fault." she whispers into your ear. "you don't have to apologize. i know you've been going through a lot, baby. i'd rather you yell at me than bottle it up."
the way she cares for you, it almost makes you feel unworthy of her love. the way she holds you and makes the noise in your head stop, you don't deserve that. but she makes you feel like you do, and it's enough.
Write something about Vanessa!! Literally anything at all. You can be self-indulgent lol, but if you could write for a fem!reader that would be great!
When you open the front door for Vanessa, smiling with both your mouth and eyes, it feels like the sun is shining on Vanessa's face, warming up her body. She instantly forgets about the stress that's been giving her a headache all day when you impatiently tug her inside by her arm, body melting at your soft touch.
She lets you drag her to the kitchen, slipping her hand in yours. "It's only been a few hours since you last saw me, and you're this needy?"
You stop near the kitchen island, turning around to huff at her. You grab onto her other hand and pull her a little closer before kissing her, goosebumps making you shiver when her hand cups your neck, her nails gently scratching it.
Pulling away from her lips, you mumble, "Don't act like you weren't talking about ditching your spin class just to spend more time with me. You're the needy one." You peck her lips one more time before walking over to the fridge and bending down, searching for the leftovers you have, something Vanessa always steals off your plate when she spends the night. "I thought we could have lunch before we go out. Or maybe we can bring it there. What do you think?"
"A picnic would be nice." Vanessa nods, imagining sharing a nice meal with you in that spot you two have been going to clear your heads. It's a nice grassy area with a view of the river, which is the exact color of Vanessa's eyes, or so she's been told. "I still have that blanket in my car from last time."
Before leaving, Vanessa reminds you to grab a jacket because it's gonna be chilly out. After she grabs the blanket out of her car, you take her hand, and both of you begin walking to your secret place that's not far from the house. You prefer walking rather than driving because not only do you need the extra steps, but you enjoy feeling the slight breeze against your face and the sun warming up your body. Also, a car drive would mean less time to spend with Vanessa, even though you're gonna be with her the rest of the day. Walks are just nicer.
"Was spin class fun today?" you ask Vanessa, stroking your thumb over the top of her hand as you hold it. "I know you've been looking forward to getting out and 'being normal.'"
Vanessa hums, thinking back to earlier when she pulled out a gun on some guy who just wanted to check on her. "It was okay. I just wanted it to be over so I could be with my favorite girl."
You chuckle and squeeze her hand. "That's how I felt at work. The customers were horrible today, and I got scheduled with the most incompetent people ever. I couldn't get anything done. But now I'm here with my girlfriend, about to have a picnic with her on a lovely day."
The rest of the walk is spent gushing over each other and talking about finally moving in with Vanessa after weeks of procrastinating. Almost all your things are already at her house anyway, all you gotta do is give your landlord the 30 day notice.
When you arrive, Vanessa places the blanket down on the grass and takes the tupperware full of food from your hands, placing it on top. You kneel on the blanket and pop the lid off the bowl, crawling over to Vanessa and sitting right next to her. She pulls you onto her lap and mumbles, "Pretty girl. You smell so good" into your ear, making your cheeks heat up. She nuzzles her nose into your neck and inhales your scent, which makes her head all fuzzy.
Both of you eat in silence, only occasionally commenting on how pretty the leaves on the tree look or pointing out a mama duck and her ducklings swimming in the river. You enjoy the way Vanessa's hands rub your thighs up and down, especially when it starts to get colder. Even though you wore a jacket like she told you to, you have on a skirt. The cold is nipping at your cheeks and legs, making you shudder and huddle closer to Vanessa. She takes off her dark green coat and wraps it around your legs, kisses your cold face with her lips to warm you up even further.
"Do you wanna leave, baby?" Vanessa asks.
You shake your head. "No. I wanna stay a little longer." You slide off her lap and lie down, pulling her down with you. She kisses you before cuddling on top of you, and you wrap your arms around her back, stroking softly.
You close your eyes for a few moments, basking in the warmth of Vanessa's body, and the next thing you know, you're fast asleep. When you open your tired eyes, it's sunset, the sky now filled with dark purple and blue streaks.
Vanessa notices you stirring and lifts her head off your shoulder.
"Hey, sleepyhead. We both fell asleep." Vanessa finds your pouty, tired face so cute. She rubs your cheek with her thumb and kisses your lips before helping you sit up. "Let's get home before it gets too dark. I got the blanket and tupperware, don't worry."
You stand up and get off the blanket so she can pick everything up while you wipe the sleep out of your eyes. Picking her coat off the ground, you slip it around your body, wrapping your arms around yourself and rubbing up and down to warm up.
Vanessa throws the blanket over her shoulder and carries the empty bowl in one hand, the other one taking hold of yours. Once you're home, you immediately collapse in your bed and get all comfy while Vanessa puts the bowl and blanket away. She visits you in the bedroom and sits beside you, moving a piece of hair out of your face and pulling the blanket up higher for you.
You open one sleepy eye to look up at her. "Spend the night?" You pout and make grabby hands at her, scooting over to make room for her. "I slept so good in your arms. And I want you to stay."
"I'll stay." whispers Vanessa. She gets under the covers with you and wraps an arm around your waist, kissing your forehead tenderly before closing her eyes. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, bunny." you reply, smiling softly, feeling all cozy and safe in her arms.
Hello! I think Vanessa is a big switch. Sometimes she’s super needy to get fucked and then other times she’s super needy to fuck you. Thoughts? Ty <3
oh yeah, she's the biggest switch everrrr. i like to think of her being on the bottom most of the time because i just wanna take care of her and make her feel good, but vanessa on top, ramming her strap or fingers into you? yeah 🤤 when she's needy to get fucked, she acts the same when she's needy to fuck you. just so clingy and whiny, giving you these puppy dog eyes when asking for it, kissing your hand, covering your face in her hot kisses.
the concept of vanessa talking you through fucking her while she bottoms 😩 so demanding, so vocal about how good your mouth feels on her pussy, not shy to ask for it rougher or harder. she wants your hands on her all the time. she'll force your hand back on her hip when you grab at the sheets instead of her body like she wants. she'll grunt at you when you stop playing with her hair while rearranging her guts. vanessa lovess hand holding during sex! especially when you eat her out. it gets her even wetter.
thinking 'bout vanessa coming home after a stressful day and just melting into you, sliding your hands under her shirt and making you squeeze her breasts. vanessa mumbling, "fuck me so hard i can't think about what a shitty day this has been" into your lips while she drags you to the bedroom. reader, who takes such good care of their girl, taking their precious time kissing all over her body, eating vanessa out until she impatiently asks for the strap, and then making her go completely dumb off the way they pound into her.
needy!vanessa fucking you but being so sloppy because she's just that needy <3 needy!vanessa throwing you over her shoulder and taking you to bed, fucking you like an animal. needy!vanessa who just cannot take her hands off you, constantly has a hand on you, pulling you in for random kisses while you're talking to her about something, won't let you be more than two inches away from her.
just need her all pathetic and whiny...on her knees and looking up at you with teary eyes because she needs to fuck you so bad, will even cry if you decide to tease her and make her wait.
subtop!vannesa who’s just sooo desperate to make her princess feel good n ready to do everything
i know she's the type who begs for it 😩😩 vanessa'll beg on her knees, grabbing all desperately at your body, whining about needing to make you feel good. it's what makes her feel good. taking care of you gets her off. she gets so wet from pleasing you, could honestly cum just from eating you out and fingering you. and she has, so many times...thinking about trying to take care of her because her pussy looks so messy and creamy and she deserves it after making you feel so good, but she refuses. says she can take care of it and that you need to rest. but you just pull that, "you'll do anything for me, right?" card, and she's folding because you're her princess and you get anything you want. it's not that she doesn't like being touched because she very much does, it's just that she lovesss taking care of you.
"Do you want it harder? Rougher? Tell me, princess." Vanessa's voice sounds breathless as she grips your waist and thrusts her biggest strap into your pussy. Her eyes roam over your body, admiring the way your breasts jiggle, and the way you squirm while she gropes you. She pouts at your lack of response, whining as she leans down and drags her lips on your cheek. "Please, tell me."
All you can muster out is a broken grunt when you feel the tip of her strap brush against your cervix. Your back arches, and you paw at Vanessa's hips to try and steady yourself because your head feels so very dizzy from being stretched out. Your whole body tingles when her thick length pulls out completely.
"Nessa!" you gasp out as she shoves it back in roughly. Your jaw hangs open, and Vanessa gazes down at your lips covered in your own spit, mesmerized by how shiny they look.
lowkey....free use but it's vanessa who's your toy :p you're horny as fuck and need to be eaten out for hours? just tell her and she'll drop to her knees and get right to work. she'll lick you up until her tongue and lips are numb, and even then, she'll beg you to ride her face if you're still not satisfied. need to fuck yourself dumb on her strap? she'll be good for you and sit still like a toy while you ride her.
vanessa, who expects you to be sitting at the table and waiting for her to make dinner, even after she leaves a rough shift. literally, she could come back home after all the mangle shit and still offer to make you dinner 😭 probably after you coddle her and take care of her, though..
she pays for everything!! won't ever let you take out your wallet. she loves splurging on clothes, food, trinkets, literally anything you ask for. she's the type to order for you because, of course, she already knows what your order is. she's also the type to go up to a cashier and ask for a new burger or something because you're too shy to complain about it 😭
when she straps you so rough that your cervix bruises but she makes up for it by giving you the sweetest aftercare <3
just vanessa being so rough while fucking you but still being so mindful of just how mean and rough she's getting.... :( literally slapping your ass red and raw while also bruising your cervix, but leaning down to whisper, "are you doing okay?" in your ear. vanessa, who asks you what color you're on while she's fucking you in a mating press like she's a feral animal. she'll give you soft kisses and slow down if you say "yellow." i feel like she's the type who can't get back into being rough like that when you tell her she's being too much :(( she feels like she lost control and feels so guilty, tries to make it up with some soft lovemaking.
vanessa using her biggest, thickest strap to fuck you <3 stretching you out, making your eyes roll to the back of your head while she bullies 3 inches inside of you... vanessa, who lovesss watching her strap go in and out of you....she gets so hypnotized while teasing you, burying her strap deep inside just to pull it out again and again. she doesn't even realize how long she's been doing it until you start whining and hooking your legs around her waist to try and make her stay inside.
strapnessa making you cum so hard you genuinely feel like you just had an out of body experience <33 there's a ringing in your ears, and it takes you a few seconds to come back down to earth after she helps you ride out your orgasm. you're fucked dumb and can't even reply to her when she asks if you're okay, you just nod and grasp at her.
vanessa kissing all the scratches she gave you :( spending so much time worshipping your body after ruining you, mumbling the softest of praises into your skin while you play with her hair... kissing your swollen clit after bruising your insides, stroking your hips while you whine and squirm because you're so sensitive after her rough fucking.
she'd get you new clothes, draw you a bath, cuddle, make you some food, tell you how much she loves you, literally do anything you ask her to!! she's so clingy after sex i feel like....just attached to you and constantly playing with your hands, constantly kissing you, and even asking for reassurance that she wasn't too rough with you :(
notes: helloooooo, it’s almost 3am wtf?? i should be asleep but here we are… anywayssszzzzz, i’ve been in a writing slump lately and struggling to finish anything, but somehow this one actually got done?? LOL..
vanessa smut seems to be what everyone’s craving, so i’m delivering ♡ this one’s a little more boring than usual, but i hope you like it. (i actually wrote a super long, plotless smut the other day too, but it’s a mess and i can’t be bothered to edit it right now… maybe it’ll see the light of day someday if motivation strikes.)
also, i’m obsessed with this tuscan aesthetic as you can see so let’s just pretend vanessa’s bedroom looks exactly like that
also x2 writing this made me crave olive garden
enjoy friends :3333 ♡
the restaurant glows with low warm light, candles flickering on every table, casting shadows across the dark wood and exposed brick. vanessa sits across from you, legs crossed under the white tablecloth, black dress hugging her in all the right places. her hair falls just so, catching the candlelight, and every time she leans forward to speak, you swear the whole room fades away.
she’s been charming you all night with easy smiles, teasing questions, the way she holds your gaze a second too long. two bottles of cabernet deep, your cheeks are warm, your laughs come easier, and the space between you feels electric even though the table keeps you apart.
her foot finds yours under the table first. just a gentle brush, then a slow slide up your calf. you freeze, fork halfway to your mouth, and she just sips her wine like nothing’s happening, eyes sparkling with mischief.
“you’re blushing,” she murmurs, voice low enough that only you can hear. “cute.”
you swallow, trying to play it cool. “maybe you’re just that distracting.”
she smirks, foot climbing higher. “good. i like distracting you.”
by the time dessert arrives you’re both tipsy, giggling at nothing, and her foot has climbed higher, tracing the inside of your thigh, pressing just enough to make you shift in your seat. you’re soaked, thighs pressing together.
“i’ve been thinking about you all week,” she confesses quietly, setting her glass down. her toes brush the edge of your panties and you have to bite your lip. “wondering what you’d sound like when i finally get to touch you for real.”
you lean forward, voice breathy. “keep that up and you’ll find out right here.”
her eyes darken. “tempting. but i want you all to myself.”
the check comes too soon. she pays, stands, and offers her hand to help you up, fingers lingering on yours. outside the cool air hits you, but it does nothing to calm the heat between your legs.
“i’m way too drunk to drive,” she laughs, pulling out her phone. “gonna call my friend mike. he’s used to my bullshit.”
she dials, voice casual even as she steps close enough to press her body against yours, hand sliding low on your back. “hey mike… yeah, italian place on 5th. i’m here with the girl i’ve been telling you about. can you come get us? please? i’ll owe you forever.”
he must agree because she hangs up and kisses you, slow, deep, tasting like wine and promise, right there on the sidewalk.
you pull back just enough to whisper, “you’re killing me.”
“good,” she breathes. “wait till we get home.”
the car ride is pure torture, but vanessa is careful. mike’s up front, focused on the road. she sits close enough that her thigh presses against yours, warm and solid. her hand rests innocently on your knee at first, nothing suspicious. but then her fingers start tracing slow, feather light patterns on your inner thigh, just under the hem of your dress. it’s subtle, hidden by the dark interior and the way your coats are draped over your laps. she never goes higher than that. never risks mike glancing in the rearview and seeing anything, but the teasing circles, the occasional squeeze, have you biting your lip to stay quiet.
“you two okay back there?” mike asks once, casual.
“yeah” you both manage to say.
vanessa’s thumb brushes higher for a split second, then retreats. she leans in like she’s just whispering something sweet. “patience, baby,” she murmurs so low only you can hear. “i’ve got you soon.”
the second the front door shuts behind you, mike’s taillights disappearing down the street, she’s on you.
she pushes you against the hallway wall, mouth crashing into yours, hands shoving your dress up around your hips.
“been dying to do this since i saw you walk in,” she says, dropping to her knees.
she yanks your panties down, spreads you with her thumbs, and licks a long, slow stripe up your cunt. you moan loud, fingers tangling in her hair. “shit, you’re pretty down here”
“fuck—yes, like that,” you gasp, hips rolling against her mouth. she devours you, sucking your clit, tongue flicking fast then slow, two fingers sliding deep and curling just right.
“you taste so good,” she murmurs against you.
you’re trembling. “don’t stop—please, i’m so close—”
she pulls back, lips shiny, eyes dark. “not yet, baby. want you coming on my fingers.”
she drags you to the bedroom, strips you both in a frantic rush. she climbs over you on the bed, three fingers sliding back inside you right away, deep, thick, curling perfectly while her thumb rubs tight circles on your clit.
“on your back,” she orders. you obey, legs spreading wider for her.
she fucks you with her fingers, hard and steady, the wet sound filling the room. you both groan.
“fuck, you feel amazing,” you breathe, nails digging into her shoulders.
she works you with perfect rhythm, one hand braced by your head, the other buried between your thighs.
“been wet for me all night, huh?” she pants. “i could tell at the table. the way you kept shifting in your chair.”
“couldn’t help it,” you moan. “you were teasing me the whole time. even in the car…”
her fingers are thrusting faster, curling harder against that spot that makes you see stars.
“come for me,” she whispers against your lips. “wanna feel you clench around my fingers.”
it crashes over you, back arching, crying out her name as you come shaking and pulsing around her fingers. “vanessa—fuck, yes—”
she works you through every wave, drawing it out until you’re whimpering, oversensitive.
she slows, kisses you softer, fingers still buried deep. “good girl,” she murmurs, brushing sweaty hair from your forehead. “think you’ve got one more in you?”
you laugh breathlessly, pulling her down for another kiss.
“only if you keep teasing me like that.”
vanessa grins against your mouth, slow and wicked. she slips her fingers out gently, making you whine at the loss. “then let’s see how much more you can take,” she whispers.
she shifts, straddling your thigh first, then sliding higher until her wet heat presses right against yours. you both gasp at the contact. vanessa rocks her hips experimentally, grinding down slow, letting your clits brush together. the friction is immediate and electric.
“fuck,” you breathe, hands flying to her hips, trying to pull her closer.
she chuckles low, braces her hands on either side of your head, and starts moving, rolling her hips in long, deliberate strokes. she’s fucking you with her pussy now, grinding hard, sliding her slick folds over yours again and again. every pass makes your clit throb, makes you arch up into her.
“you feel so good,” she pants, voice rough. “so fucking wet for me.”
she picks up the pace, hips snapping faster, grinding down harder. the wet sounds of your bodies sliding together fill the room, obscene and perfect. you’re both moaning now, open mouthed, staring into each other’s eyes.
vanessa leans down, kissing you messy and deep, then pulls back just enough to whisper against your lips. “you want me to come on your pussy, baby?”
you nod frantically, hips bucking up to meet her. “yes—please, vanessa—”
“then beg for it,” she says, slowing her movements just enough to make you whine. she circles her hips, teasing your clit with the barest pressure. “beg me to come all over you. tell me how bad you want it.”
you’re shaking, so close again, thighs trembling around her. “please,” you gasp, nails digging into her ass. “please come on my pussy, vanessa, i need it. i need to feel you come on me—fuck, please, i’m begging you..”
her eyes darken, breath hitching. “good girl,” she giggles.
she starts grinding harder, faster, chasing her own release now. her clit rubs against yours with every roll of her hips, slick and relentless. she’s panting, forehead pressed to yours, bodies slick with sweat.
“gonna come,” she warns, voice breaking. “gonna come all over your pretty little pussy huh?”
you feel her tense, feel the way her thighs shake, and then she’s coming hard. a broken high pitched moan tearing from her throat as she grinds down one last time. you feel her pulse against you, feel the hot rush of her release coating your cunt, and it tips you over the edge again.
you come with her, crying out her name, clenching around nothing as your orgasm crashes through you, hips jerking up to meet every last grind.
she rides it out, slow and gentle now, until you’re both trembling, oversensitive and spent.
vanessa collapses on top of you, breathing hard, face buried in your neck. she kisses the skin there softly, over and over.
“fuck,” she murmurs, voice wrecked. “you’re so cute, so perfect.”
you wrap your arms around her, still catching your breath, smiling into her hair.
vanessa’s favorite delay - vanessa shelly x fem!reader SMUT
summary: vanessa fingers you before work & accidentally causes a mess
contains: fingering, squirting, uniform kink, kitchen sex n idk what else to put 😭 it’s almost 4am im TIREDish
notes: this is my favorite fic i’ve written so far, i was literally giggling and kicking my feet the entire time. i really hope u guys like it as much as i do! ^_^
you wake up tangled in the sheets, the warmth of vanessa’s naked body pressed against yours like a second skin. the morning light filters through the curtains, casting a soft glow over her shoulders and the curve of her hip where your hand rests. she’s already stirring, her breath steady and warm against your neck, and you can’t help but smile as you feel her shift closer, her bare breasts brushing your back. no alarms yet just the quiet hum the outside and the faint scent of last night’s lovemaking lingering on the pillows.
“morning, beautiful,” she murmurs, her voice raspy from sleep, lips grazing your shoulder in a lazy kiss. you turn in her arms, facing her, and she’s right there, green eyes half lidded, hair in that effortlessly sexy way. you lean in first, capturing her lips in a soft, lingering kiss that tastes like love and mint from the toothpaste she insists on using before bed. she hums into it, her hand sliding up your side, fingers tracing the dip of your waist as the kiss deepens just a little, tongues brushing, breaths mingling.
you pull back with a grin, planting another quick peck on her nose, then her cheek. “don’t get up yet,” you whisper, but she chuckles, nipping at your lower lip before sitting up, the sheets pooling around her waist.
“gotta, baby. duty calls.” she stretches, arms overhead, and you watch shamelessly just the way her muscles flex, the faint marks from your nails last night still pink on her skin. another kiss, this one on her collarbone as she swings her legs over the edge of the bed. “you’re making it hard, though.”
you laugh softly, rolling onto your stomach to watch her pad across the room naked, her ass swaying just enough to make your pulse quicken. she heads to the bathroom and you hear the shower start a quick one, you know, because she’s efficient like that. by the time she emerges, towel dried and smelling of her citrus body wash, you’re already slipping into a robe, but not before stealing one more kiss in the doorway, your hands on her damp hips.
“you’re distracting,” she teases, but she kisses you back, slow and sweet, her tongue flicking against yours before she pulls away with a reluctant groan. “okay, okay. uniform time.”
you linger in the bedroom while she dresses watching her button up the blue shirt, the fabric hugging her curves just right, then the pants that make her legs look endless. she clips on her belt, sets her gear, and finally pins the badge over her chest. god, she looks so authoritative, and it always sends a thrill through you. “you look hot,” you say from the bed and she winks, tying her hair back.
“flattery will get you everywhere but not out of making breakfast.” she blows you a kiss and heads to the kitchen, but you beat her there, already pulling out eggs and bread. “hey, i was gonna—”
“nope. my turn.” you shoo her to the table, and she sits with a smirk, watching you move around in your robe. the kitchen fills with the sizzle of eggs in the pan, the aroma of toast browning, coffee brewing strong and dark just how she likes it. you plate it up. scrambled eggs fluffy with cheese, toast slathered in butter, a side of fruit because you know she skips it otherwise. then you pack the rest into a lunch container: a sandwich, some veggies, an apple, and a note tucked in that says ‘come home safe, officer hot stuff i love u <3’
“you’re too good to me,” she says as you hand her the bag, standing to pull you into a hug. her uniform scratches lightly against your robe, the badge cool on your skin. she kisses your forehead, then your lips soft at first, but you deepen it, wrapping your arms around her neck. “baby, i really have to go.”
but you’re not ready. the thought of her walking out that door, into whatever mess the city throws at cops, makes you clingy. you press closer, your body molding to hers, hands sliding up her back under the pretense of straightening her shirt. “just a few more minutes,” you murmur against her mouth, kissing her again, slower this time, letting your tongue tease hers. she groans, hands on your hips, but she doesn’t pull away.
“you’re playing dirty,” she whispers, but there’s a smile in her voice, and you feel her resolve cracking as you nip at her jaw, your fingers toying with the buttons of her shirt.
“maybe i am.” you untie your robe just enough to let it slip open, pressing your naked body against her clothed one. the contrast and the rough fabric of her uniform against your soft skin it makes you shiver, heat pooling low in your belly. “come on, van. five minutes. for me?”
she hesitates, eyes darkening as she looks down at you, her hands sliding inside the robe to cup your breasts. “fuck, you’re so impossible” her thumbs brush your nipples, making them harden instantly, and you gasp, arching into her touch. “alright, but quick. i mean it.”
you nod eagerly, backing up against the kitchen counter, pulling her with you. she kisses you hard now, all pretense gone. tongue invading your mouth, one hand tangling in your hair while the other dips lower, pushing the robe aside completely. “god, you’re already wet,” she breathes against your lips as her fingers find your core, sliding through your folds with ease. you moan, legs parting instinctively, the cool edge of the counter biting into your ass.
“for you. always for you,” you whisper, hips rocking into her hand. she circles your clit slowly at first, teasing, making you whine. “vanessa, please—”
“shh, i’ve got you.” her voice is low, commanding, the cop in her shining through, and it only makes you wetter. she slips one finger inside you, then two, curling them just right to hit that spot that makes your knees weak. you clutch at her shoulders, feeling the stiff fabric of her uniform under your palms, the badge pressing into your chest as she pumps her fingers steadily.
the kitchen echoes with the wet sounds of her fucking you, your breaths coming in pants. “feel that, baby? how deep i am?” she murmurs, her free hand pinching your nipple, rolling it between her fingers. her citrus scent mixed with the breakfast smells, the warmth of her body, the relentless drag of her fingers inside you. you can feel the pressure building, that full, aching need coiling tighter.
“van—oh god, harder,” you beg, and she obliges, thrusting deeper, her thumb pressing firm circles on your clit. your head falls back against the cabinet, eyes squeezing shut as waves of pleasure crash over you. “talk to me sweetheart tell me how it feels.”
“feels so good,” you gasp, nails digging into her arms. “you’re so fucking good at this nessa—making me yours before you go.”
she growls softly, kissing your neck, sucking a mark there that’ll peek out from your collar later. “mine. all mine.” her fingers speed up, curling harder, and you feel it. that edge approaching too fast, the strange intensity building like you’re about to burst.
“wait—van, i think—i’m gonna—”
“let go, baby. come for me. soak my hand.” her words push you over, and you do. body seizing, a cry tearing from your throat as you come undone. but it’s more this time; the release gushes out, hot and wet, splashing against her wrist and soaking the front of her uniform shirt, darkening the blue fabric right over her badge and down her stomach.
you slump against her, trembling, as reality hits. “oh my god. vanessa, i’m sorry, i’m so sorry—” you babble, pulling back to see the mess, cheeks burning with embarrassment. the wet spot spreads, glistening under the kitchen light, and you cover your face. “i didn’t mean to—fuck, your uniform i—”
but she’s laughing. not mocking, but genuine, delighted giggles bubbling up as she looks down at herself. “holy shit, baby,” she says through her laughter, eyes sparkling with amusement and heat. “that was… wow. you just squirted all over me.” she pulls you close again, kissing your forehead despite your protests. “don’t apologize. that was the sexiest thing ever. god, i love you.”
you peek through your fingers, still mortified but melting at her reaction. “really? you’re not mad?”
“mad? are you kidding?” she giggles again, a sound so light and joyful it eases your worry. “i’m gonna be thinking about this all shift. my girl marking me like that? fuck, it’s hot.” she kisses you softly, tasting of affection and lingering arousal. “but yeah, can’t go out like this. chief would have questions.”
you nod quickly, tying your robe and grabbing the shirt as she unbuttons it, handing it over with another apologetic look. “i’ll wash it. quick cycle. won’t take long.”
she strips it off, standing there in her bra and pants, looking utterly unbothered. “take your time. i’m already late. what’s a few more minutes?” she leans against the counter, watching you with a fond smile as you rush to the laundry room, tossing the shirt in with some detergent and hitting the express wash. the machine hums to life, and you return to find her sipping her coffee, casual as ever.
“you’re really okay with being late?” you ask, wrapping your arms around her waist from behind.
she turns, pulling you in front. “for you? always.” another kiss, this one tender. “besides, how could i care when i get to start my day like that?”
the washer dings sooner than expected. thank god for modern appliances. and you pull out the damp but clean shirt, tossing it in the dryer for a quick tumble. ten minutes later, it’s good as new, and you help her button it up, fingers lingering on each one.
“there. perfect again.” you smooth the fabric, and she captures your hands, kissing your knuckles.
“thanks, baby. now i really gotta go.” she grabs her bag, but pauses at the door for one last deep kiss. “be good today. and think about me.”
“always do,” you whisper, watching her go with a mix of satisfaction and that clingy ache. the door clicks shut, and you lean against it, body still buzzing, already counting down to when she’ll be back.
i don't know how to use rhis app but i saw you replying to soembdou using this so iwill write something here too
oh my gosh bruv i downloaded this aop s months ago but deleted it but then i redownloaded it 5 minutes ago…i found out i liked one of your fics in those few months ago👀👀 come to realize ghat YOU are THE goosefruit from ao3 like wow that felt like a full circle moment for me
wow thjs is so cool i love scrollinfn through ur page is that weird??? idk prolly
but like anyway wowowowowowo i don't know why im using this as msgs or an ao3 comment section but we ballin ig
ok sorry i have to include another full circle moment for me like wow i literally had no idea you took requests brotha ive been on ao3 commenting on all of ur recent fics without knowinh this information
this is a game changer
okay om sorry i dk what im even saying anhmore
CUTELENA!! hello im so honoured that people actually recognize me 😝😝😝
tumblr is great!! i feel like theres more (tho still little) vanessa x reader fics here compared to ao3 so i hang out here more TBH…so even tho i might not write any new fics for a while i may still reblog vanessa fics from other authors 😋
and yes!! once im back from my hiatus (proooobably april/may) feel free to leave reqs … or leave them now but warning they will probably not come to fruitation for a couple of months :(
cw: smut, making out, dry humping, oral, vaginal fingering
a/n: i started this when i was horny and didnt rly know where i was going w it so um enjoy some pwop! this will (unfortunately) probably be my last upload in a while :( see yall again when life gets less busy!
You were soaked. Fuck, you were beyond soaked.
The headboard pressed into your back, creaking softly with every involuntary roll of your hips. Vanessa panted into your mouth, tugging your waist towards her despite the fact that your bodies were already flush against each other. Her saliva—or rather, a mix of your saliva—dripped down your chin as she worked her tongue in your mouth.
Your girlfriend wasn’t normally a sloppy kisser, but things tended to get messy when passion turned into primal need for each other.
Her pussy was hot through her jeans, which grinded desperately onto your thigh, dangerously close to your own throbbing core. You were fairly certain that she had soaked through her pants and wouldn’t be surprised if she left a wet patch on your shorts.
“Babe, babe,” you gasped, unable to tame your arousal. You pulled on her belt buckle with one hand while the other slipped a finger under her waistband. “Please, can I take these off?”
She nodded frantically, shaky hands fumbling with her pants’ button as you undid her belt. Her cotton panties, light pink with a lace trim, peeked through where her jeans had come undone.
“Need you to touch my pussy,” whines fell from her sweet lips.
She grasped at the back of your neck, slipping off your lap and onto the mattress, guiding you on top of her. In this position, you slid her pants off with ease, Vanessa pulling—no, yanking—your face back against hers.
The first time you saw this needy, unguarded side of Vanessa, you were shocked that she was the same woman who commanded respect from a mile away in her clean-pressed blue uniform; who would have you squirming underneath her while she handcuffed you to the metal frame of her bed.
It was a side reserved for you and you only.
Your kisses trailed down to her breasts, open-mouthed over sheer fabric of the bra you reached around to unclasp. You stayed there a while, swirling your tongue around a nipple as you lended your knee between her legs to help relieve some pressure.
“I can’t…can’t hold it for much longer,” she rasped, thighs locking around your knee. “And I wanna come on your tongue. Please.”
You could never deny her anything.
Hooking her legs over your shoulders, you pushed your nose against the large damp patch in her panties, breathing in the musky scent of her excitement. You sighed at how good she smelled, and had to summon up every ounce of willpower as you fought the urge to dig in right there.
After all, a meal tasted better when savoured properly.
You slowly dragged your tongue up with feather-light pressure, barely grazing the fabric. Vanessa’s thighs twitched around your head. Her impatient whimpers grew louder as you approached her clit, and you swore you could see the erect little nub throb through her panties. Lifting your tongue so that it hovered above her clit, you searched her face, waiting for her eyes to meet yours.
“Pretty girl,” your voice was barely a whisper. Still, she moaned as your breath hit her skin. “So, so pretty. Love these pretty panties.”
The moment she looked down at you, you pressed your tongue firmly against her clit, observing intently for her reaction.
“Shit,” her mouth fell open, eyebrows furrowing. But she didn’t dare look away; she knew you loved watching her struggle to keep her eyes from rolling back.
You giggled foolishly, enraptured by the immense effect that your every movement had on her.
At long last, you began to pull down her panties, Vanessa eagerly lifting her hips to assist with the process. A string of wetness stretched between her and the fabric.
“Please don’t tease. Y/N, I need y-”
Your tongue sank between her soft, slippery labia, sparks flying in your brain as her salty tang registered on your taste buds. Her stickiness wrapped around you, so warm and inviting that you could melt into her.
Above, she was a chorus, breathy moans singing out your name and telling you just how good you were making her feel.
When you slipped a finger into her, her back lifted off of the mattress in an elegant arch. Your finger curled up towards the spongey, swollen tissue located not too deep within.
“Yes!” She clutched your hair, thrusting up to push more of her clit into your mouth. “Yes, baby…just like that.”
You repeated your action, earning a louder moan from her. Testing the waters, you teased her entrance with a second finger, dipping just the tip in. To your surprise, it slipped right in, her body so relaxed with arousal that it barely stretched her out.
“Oh my god…” she sighed, head thrown back rhapsodically.
You set a steady pace, hooking your fingers while moving them back and forth, applying gentle pressure on her g-spot.
“Good?” You mumbled between licks of her clit.
“Harder.”
Adjusting your position slightly, you drove in with more effort, pressing harder and harder until she cried out a fervid ‘yes’. You stayed there, maintaining it, letting the pressure do its steady, inevitable work.
Suddenly, her moaning ceased, the only noises to be heard were her heavy breaths and the slosh of you moving inside of her—she would go quiet whenever she was close, fully concentrated on finishing.
You smiled, the ache in your forearm and jaw burning away from sheer determination.
“Fuck, Y/N,” a small whimper broke the silence. “I’m…It’s- oh…”
Mouth too occupied to reply, you grabbed her hand, stroking slow circles on her sweaty palm. It was your way of telling her to let go; to give everything over to you.
You felt her before you heard her.
The first convulsion was gentle, a prelude. The rest came as evergrowing waves, gripping your fingers tight as if begging you to stay this close forever.
Her moan was high-pitched and strained, resolving to ragged pants as she came down from her high.
You continued on her clit until you were one lick over the point of overstimulation, when she squeaked, pushing your head away. You pressed one last kiss on her mons, dark blonde curls tickling your chin, before you rushed up to wrap her up in your arms.
“What about you?” She drawled, eyes half-lidded, head slumped against your shoulder. “I haven’t made you come yet.”
This was just like Vanessa: so used to giving, yet anxious after taking.
“I’m perfectly satisfied, knowing that I made you feel good.” You knew she would fall asleep between your legs if she tried anything right now. “Besides, we always have tomorrow morning. Remind me, your shift doesn’t start till…”
“Noon,” she yawned, closing her eyes.
“Noon. So we have plenty of time to continue the fun,” you kissed her hairline, resting your cheek on her head.
“I can eat you out in uniform,” her words slurred as she grew drowsier. “It’ll be like breakfast…”
You laughed. Though, that didn’t sound like a terrible idea.
In fact, you were one hundred percent going to take her up on her offer.
waitttt imagine being college hocky rivals w vanessa and like HATING eachother and being huge assholes to eachother but also a little horny. then like 3 years after college u havent seen her since your last game where you beat her in the championship. one day you get pulled over and youre like oh fuck i have so much weed in the car and the cop is VANESSA who cuffs you and says she will let u go but only if you let her bend you over the hood of her cruiser and fuck you HARD first🤭 then she straps you down like she hates u and degrades u and all that fun stuff
"Fuck my life," you whisper to yourself as you hear the sirens from behind you. You pull over and run a hand over your face, thinking about how fucked you are. Your car reeks of weed, and you're pretty sure you didn't hide it well enough before leaving the house. Fuck. You think you shoved a baggie inside the glovebox where your registration is. Quickly, you lean over and open it, flinging the bag of weed further inside as you fumble for your registration while the officer walks up to your window. "I'm sorry, officer, I know—"
Your words get caught in your throat as you spot your old college rival grinning at you. All you feel is irritation as you stare at Vanessa Shelly with a clenched jaw. Of course, she'd become a cop, the fucking narc. You still remember how pissed you were when she ratted on you about the joint you smoked before a game. It ruined everything for you. You couldn't compete in nationals because of it, and your team lost. But you know it's only because you weren't there. It's why she snitched in the first place. She knows you're better than her.
"This is just great," she says with a hand on her belt. You wanna smack that grin off her face, and she knows it. She motions for you to roll your window down more, and she leans against it. "I've been waiting for this moment."
"Yeah, I bet you have, you pervert." You imagine Vanessa waiting around in her car all day, looking for you after all these years.
"That's no way to talk to an officer," she replies, her stern voice making you roll your eyes. "Step out of the vehicle for me."
"What?" you scoff in disbelief. "You can't be serious."
"I could smell the weed the second I got out of my car," she says, making you sink in on yourself. "Don't make this harder on yourself, old friend."
You glare at her. Friend, huh?
Once you're out of the car, she reaches for her handcuffs and nods for you to follow her to her car. You hate how your body responds to her touch when she grabs your wrists. It makes you feel all tingly inside.
"Don't enjoy this too much, Shelly," you mumble, looking behind your shoulder to see her staring at your ass with dark eyes.
"You know," she begins, tugging you into her body by the cuffs. You clench your jaw at how familiar her warmth feels as you're chest-to-back with her. "I could let you go and pretend this never happened. But you'll have to give me something in return."
You turn your head again, feeling her lips graze your cheek as she leans in closer. "And what's that?"
"Let me bend you over my car and fuck you hard," she murmurs, puckering her lips and giving your ear a little kiss that makes goosebumps spread over your body. "You know you want it. I know you miss my touch. I know you miss my dick."
Vanessa presses her hips into yours, and you feel her strap bulge against your asscheek. It makes your brain melt, and that's all it takes for you to nod at her request.
"Fine," you grumble, trying to act like you aren't eager to take her strap again after so long. Excitement bubbles in your stomach when she pushes you over the hood of her car, but that irritation comes back at her next words.
"You never could resist me. You were obsessed."
You grunt at her. "Don't act like you weren't chasing after me, too. You'd skip practices to come and make out with me." Your lips part in a silent gasp when her strap rubs against your hole, and you press your cheek harder into the hood of her car. You hear her spit, and you imagine her rubbing it all over her strap to lube it up. You hear her spit again, but this time you don't have to imagine. You feel her wetting your pussy with the spit on her fingers, clenching your fists at how much you've missed this. Missed her touch. And her stupid fucking pretty face.
Vanessa appreciates how your body remembers her touch, gets all smug at how responsive you still are after all these years. When she slowly slides her fingers in, she groans quietly at how tight you are.
"You have a girlfriend?" she asks while gripping the flesh of your ass with her other hand. "Or have you been waiting for me?"
You don't have to look back to imagine the grin on her face. It pisses you off.
"No," you mumble, cheeks heating up.
"To both," you add quickly. You don't want her thinking no one was good enough for you but her.
Vanessa hums and removes her fingers. You bite your lip to keep a sigh from coming out, but a whiny cry spills out instead when her strap enters you. All of you. In one go. Your eyes go cross, and your body tingles from being filled up.
"Figures. You were never really good at picking up girls who weren't me." Before you can make a snarky comment about how she was the exact same, she pulls out of you and slams back inside roughly. You go limp against her car, lips touching the hood as you moan at how rough she's being.
She's gripping your sides like she doesn't care about the bruises you're sure to get, like she wants you to see her marks on you after this. She's fucking you wildly, like you're just a fleshlight for her to use and discard.
All the words flying out of her mouth are insults thrown at you.
"You were never as good as me." Vanessa pants, watching your ass jiggle as she pounds into your tight hole.
"I fucking hate you," she moans, bending down and tugging your earlobe between her teeth. "You always got in my way and ruined everything. I only gave you my attention because I pitied your sorry ass. You're nothing without me. You were nothing before me. And you'll be nothing after this."
You can't even reply to what she's saying because she shuts you up with her strap, making sure your words die out in your throat while thrusting deep inside. And if that doesn't work, she slaps her hand over your mouth, stuffing a few fingers inside of it.
She fucks you until your cum is drooling down the ground. She unlocks the handcuffs and tells you to pull your pants back up while she stuffs her strap back inside her jeans, yells at you when you take a few moments to catch your breath. You get up and throw her a dirty look as you bend down to pick up your pants, your legs all wobbly from being bent over for so long. Plus her strap.
Vanessa hitches her chin toward your car. "Go. Before I change my mind."
"Fuck you, too," you mumble, wobbling over to your car and getting inside. You force your eyes to look at the road instead of in the rearview mirror like you want to, because you know if you do, you'll think too much and run after Vanessa.
vanessa's strap @goosefruit - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
