didn’t claire go to harvard

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@gordon-the-dragon
didn’t claire go to harvard
when Lemony Snicket wrote “I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you everyday” that hurt me
Full paragraph hurts even more.
“ (…) I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close… I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else and I will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.”
10 years ago today, the Doctor and Donna were reunited while investigating Adipose Industries in ‘Partners in Crime’!
this is still so fucking funny i’m sorry
the widnows scene was an unrehearsed improv done at 3 am, apparently all the script said was ‘they recognize each other’, (via aphony-cree)
Patti LaBelle’s live performance of “This Christmas” will never not be funny 😂
thanks for bringing this back lmfappoposejfd
LEMME SEE THAT CARDIGAN!
I’M CRYING
this has the same energy as an SNL skit
This is my first time seeing this and im mortified and dying laughing at the same time
norman reedus and his son mingus dont look related at all
this looks like matty b raps took a blind homeless man to a basketball game instead of a nice family photo
fuck you thats not his name
what do i have to gain by lying on this site? what the fuck is in it for me? fame? fortune? clout? meaningless distractions. there is no pleasure greater than the knowledge of mingus lucien reedus’ true name. and as i have suffered to gain this, so too shall you all. live as a flagellant and bleed in his name. our lord, mingus.
everyone: ‘I’ll put the biscuits in for this precise amount of time’
Jamie, a sweet idiot baby: ‘pop them in, see where it goes I guess’
wooo!! a Gay!!
let 👏 jamie 👏 say 👏 fuck👏
when my friends show me pictures of their ugly ass boyfriends
I LAUGHED SO HARD
STUART SEMPLE FOUND THE PINK NARC.
God this is the greatest art feud of our time.
Read the conditions of settlement. It’s gold.
Captioned because even I’m having trouble reading this:
[A screenshot from snapchat of a document that is cut off on the extreme edges, erasing the first and last two or three letters from each line. Doing my best to correctly transcribe]
Breach of terms of service: culturehustle.com Illegal acquisition on behalf of Anish Kapoor of the World’s Pinkest Pink
Dear Sirs,
I am aware that you represent Mr. Anish Kapoor, and I write today not to dob him in so that you can tell him off but rather to try and resolve this matter. Unlike Kapoor I am not one to ‘point the finger’ however on this occasion it has become important to do so.
I hold your gallery in the highest esteem, I am a fan of several of your artists, but on this occasion you have been extremely naughty. You have been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it.
We have now finished fully researching this situation and it has come to your attention that you have been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it enabling him to exploit the substance against my wishes. Further, this juvenile behavior made much of the wider artistic community sad thanks to his extremely petty and childish post on Instagram.
The terms of service on my site CultureHustle.com are incredibly clear: Quote: By adding this product to your cart you agree that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not purchasing this item on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief this product will not make its way into that hands of Anish Kapoor.
In direct violation to the above, on 10th of December 2016 a person by the name of Mr [Blanked out] placed an order via the culturehustle.com website, for one jar of PINK at 5:36 am. This order was placed on behalf of your gallery and was delivered to the Lisson Gallery in London at 11:38 am on the 13th of December. Shortly after which your gallery provided Mr. Kapoor with the substance and on the 23rd of December 2016 Mr. Kapoor posted a photograph on Instagram showing he was indeed in possession of the substance, he also included the caption ‘Up Yours’. The comments on this post clearly demonstrate the negative impact such a gesture has had upon a wide community. He needs to say sorry for hurting everyone’s feelings.
I remind you, hoarding colours and stealing other people’s colours without asking nicely isn’t big -rd it’s simply bad.
I said I think it would be best to resolve this matter amicably without this silly business escalating any further. However, if we are unable to resolve this in a timely and grown up way I am fully prepared to take further action which will no doubt become stressful and expensive.
Therefore I would appreciate it if: 1. Your gallery would say sorry for giving my pink to Mr. Kapoor. 2. Mr. Kapoor would give me my pink back. I don’t want him to have it. 3. He will write 100 times, ‘I will be nice, I will share my colours’ and he will post the same to his Instagram.
Failing the above, an agreeable settlement would also be: 1. The reimbursement of $3.99 (the cost of PINK minus shipping) 2. And Mr. Kapoor to void his exclusive agreement to the use of Vanta Black in art.
If you were to settle as above I will be more than happy to share all my colours with him, so he doesn’t feel left out and can join in with the rest of us.
I look forward to resolving this matter.
Yours,
Stuart Semple
Thank you for captioning this! I’d seen it before but never been able to read it.
Alright this is hilarious because
Since they broke contract, he can sue them
To avoid getting sued, they need to humilate themselves publicly AND convince Kapoor to do likewise
If they don’t want to humiliate themselves and avoid getting sued, they need to convince Kapoor to give up his color copyright
Stuart Semple everybody!
no more discourse. only mr. marble.
Additionally
I do not exaggerate when I say Marble is my favorite creature on this earth
I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(
hnn I WANT IT SO BAD
on closer inspection, it makes a lot of really obnoxious noises and is also Too Expensive. BUT FEAR NOT I found this slightly smaller dude wedged in the back!
IT HAS BITE ACTION, AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS
now we enter the testing phase
yup. looks good.
Extreme Chompin T-Rex says IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS
Can we take a moment to appreciate that we can use this as a rosetta stone to say “EXTREME CHOMPIN’ “ in four languages?
OH SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT, let me check the garbage to see if it’s still there! hopefully I didn’t destroy it in my excitement
*roar sound effect*
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
update update: I re-sized her collar and found a bag of toy bones at the craft store. I haven’t put this much effort into a non-school thing since my last job search, help
(secret bonus: the other side of her tag)
There’s more!
I love.
I saw that people are reblogging the thread again, so I thought I’d give you all an update on how Wexter is doing!
(just fine)
Wexter And The Case Of Her Continuing Marvelously Naughty Garden Adventures
Wexter says SHE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING (but she might chew your ankles a little bit maybe)
so it’s come to my attention that at some point this weekend Wexter blew past 100,000 notes, and I for one think that’s very cash money of her.
it’s been a few weeks, I suppose we should check up on the AHSGSHGAFB?!
ajdhf.
well that’s just,,,
REXCELLENT
going to the grocery store when youre 20 makes your receipt look like this:
item 1 1.94
item 2 1.94
item 3 0.50
item 4 0.32
item 5 1.00
item 6 1.00
item 7 0.72
item 8 0.69
item 9 2.00
item 10 5.87
item 11 1.00
item 12 1.36
subtotal: 18.34
and you think about the $5 one for the rest of the day
this still makes me scream
10 new born Long-nosed Vine Snakes
Credit: Chrisweeet
A handful of judgemental shoelaces