gordon

[pinkrosylux]

let me know your insult guys ☺️

[thoodleoo]

(gordon ramsay at the dinner of trimalchio) fuck me he's brought out a whole dish based on the zodiac. what is this, a fucking horoscope page? well let's see what i get. a scorpionfish. bloody hell. well at least i can poison myself to get out of the rest of this. oh for god's sake the host is putting on his own funeral. lucky bastard. wish i could get carried out to the pyre. better food in the underworld i would think

[willgrahamscock]

[fawntastic]

Gordon Ramsay on the mithraeum: Fucking finally. I waited for this soup all day, it better be fucking good.

[several skeletal hands explode from Ortus' stomach]

Gordon Ramsay: Oh fuck me. She used her own bloody bone marrow. Now his insides are all over the fucking table- who's gonna clean that up? Fuck me. This place is going to the dogs.

[seffoe]

[gordon Ramsey taking a bite of a contestant’s meal]

“Wowww, taste that. The cyanide in this is overpowering, you’ve added way too much you dingus. Even then, you don’t add cyanide to a hearty chicken and herbs dish. If you’re really that insistent, add nightshade, just sprinkle it on top alongside the rest of the herbs, maybe mince it up, add it to the spices and—“

[collapses and dies]

[fallingtowers]

[gordon ramsey in the russian sleep experiment facility] fuck me that's frightening. jesus christ. theyre eating their own flesh. can't blame them i suppose considering the food they serve here

[infectiouspiss]

*gordon ramsey at a kink party voice* cockwarming? you call this warm? it's bloody burnt that thing is. you've cremated it, it's naught but fucking ashes! *turns around and sees a pup* for fucks sake there's animals in the kitchen too. he's got fucking paws and he could cook a cock better than you

[androidboy]

literally my favorite type of tweet

[forgissimus]

oh my god i have some of these saved 1 sec

[valtsv]

[faery-wizard]

Gordon Ramsay drops the orb of transfiguration: Oh and what is- oh fuck. oh im so- im so sorry. oh it seems ive turned into a little ghoulie. oh fuck me. a little beastie most foul. unbelieveable

[notahorseindisguise]

right. im gonna have a look in that tomb over there, and i better not find any bloody- ah fuck. he's gone. one of you lot left the bloody tomb unlocked and now he's risen again. brilliant. just marvelous. im surrounded by baboons. <- gordon ramsay upon discovering that christ our lord has risen again

[dougielombax]

Lost episode creepypastas be like:

Presenter: Welcome to Kitchen Nightmares! Today we’re gonna show you how to KILL, cook AND eat Gordon Ramsay.

Gordon Ramsay, looking visibly disappointed: Oh, FUCK OFF!

In my mind….

[dirtbrunch]

[elliot-amy]

[grapeflavoredorange]

*gordon ramsay enters mementos*

fuck me, it’s dark in here. jesus christ, what’s that all over the fucking walls? are those veins? holy shit. (sees the monabus in the distance) is that a fucking bus? with cat ears? fuck me (he approaches joker and the team who are drinking coffee in a waiting room) is this what you’re using to heal yourself? leftover coffee? (he takes a thermos and takes a sip) are you serious? it’s fucking cold! (he dumps it on the floor) you’re drinking cold fucking coffee! how old is it? two weeks? two week old, cold, fucking coffee

[moregaythanyourealized]

Gordon Ramsay at the three bears house: Aw bollocks, this one’s too hot and this one’s too cold, did you not cook them in the same oven you donkey? Un-fucking-believable.

[8loodred-8lackrom]

gordon ramsay, entering the panopticon:

Oh, fuck me... Hey, fuckface, where are your fuckin' eyes?? Oi! Yeah, you, dickface-- Did you know you had a creepy little victorian fucker sealed away in here? Fuck's sake. If the health inspector was here right now, you would be shut down. Unbelievable. What a joke.

[lost-but-with-coffee]

Gordon Ramsay : “I’m here today in the dark depths of this dungeon to learn the secrets of cooking monsters from a man people only refer to as Senshi”

Gordon Ramsay: “well fuck me, look at the seize of that bugger, this walking mushroom and the rice that senshi here procured from his golem farm, will help us make a nice mushroom risotto”

Gordon Ramsay cracking open a living armor: “these little ghoulies here, are the ones actual controlling the armor, if you cook them right, they make for a great source of protein here in the dungeon”