The open door was a test, one you failed miserably by the way. But now you're out, you've escaped, congratulations. You're back in your apartment, back at your job, back with your friends.
You're only keeping your apartment clean because your friends are helping you, you just don't have much energy any more. You got your job back because your boss pitied you, but you're not keeping up, he and you both know under normal circumstances he would have fired you by now. And your friends? They're trying, but you can't go out because you see my face around every corner and loud noises make you panic.
How much longer until the pity evaporates like so much mist in mid morning sun. How long until your boss gets sick of covering for you and fires you. How long until your friends stop cleaning your house, until "you poor thing" becomes "when are you gonna get over it". How long until you're jobless, homeless, friendless.
I'm not saying life with me was good, far from it. I tortured you mercilessly in any number of horrifying ways. I raped you and beat you. I starved you. You're missing a few toes from that time I gave you hypothermia and a few of your fingernails may never grow back nicely.
And I'm not saying I'll suddenly be nice when you come back. I'll still torture you, probably worse than before because I have to discipline you for running away.
But wasn't it nice to be treasured? After every horrific torture didn't I lovingly nurse you back to health? Wasn't it nice to be the object of someone's undivided attention? Your entire world was built just for you and you were the most important thing in that world. Don't you miss that?
And who would love you now? You flinch away from every touch, you scream out in your sleep, your face is disfigured from those scars I gave you. Me. That's who would love you now.
And, you know it, I know you know it. Why else would you lie to the police. I wouldn't have been caught, I'm too careful. But I would have had to run and then you wouldn't have known where to find me. No, you kept that option available on purpose.
The door you walked out of is still open sweetheart, walk back in whenever you're ready to give up.
(This is a repost from my old blog bubblegumgothglados)
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