Things that happen when you're umm... thinking :P

Oh yes, thoughts :)

[gorge-mouse]

You might have to break the speed limit to get someone critically ill to hospital

You might have to steal in order to have enough to eat

You might have to kill someone in self-defence

But there is never, ever, a justifiable reason to sexually assault someone.

[gorge-mouse]

On unity

Correct me if I'm wrong, but this is my raw, unedited view, and so it might sound a little rougher than I intend, but here goes; instead of reducing different groups in society to singular events and then beating ourselves up about it, why don't we actually learn about their cultures properly? A good example of this is Jewish people. I, a British person who is exposed to mainstream media, know little about Jews other than that millions of them were killed during the Holocaust. I don't know their beliefs, their history before or after this event, and I don't know their cultural traditions. If I had to spend a prolonged amount of time around someone Jewish that I'd never met before, I'd feel uncomfortable, not because I'm biased against them, but because I'd worry I'd say or do something that would upset them as a result of me not understanding what it is to be Jewish. What if I offered them the wrong food, or encouraged them to do something they weren't supposed to, or brought up something that I didn't know was a sensitive topic for Jewish people? I mean, people aren't defined purely by this kind of cultural grouping, but it does still make up some proportion of who they are. Another example would be black people. Now I'm half black, and all I ever hear mentioned about black people is slavery, and thus racism. I have no idea about the history of black people before or after slavery and the civil rights movement, no clue what our cultural values were before slavery, our traditions or beliefs, what we ate ...etc. Can you see what I'm getting at? In essence, when we reduce a group of people to just one event, then rather than strengthening the group's identity, we really are erasing most of it. Just think about it for a second; I mean slavery is pretty impersonal, it's happened to countless people of all races throughout history. About the same can be said for genocide. These massive, tragic events -out of the context of the rich culture and history of the people they have affected- are meaningless. Now don't misinterpret me here, I'm not saying that we shouldn't acknowledge events like the Transatlantic slave trade or the Holocaust, because we should. They are terrible events that must never be repeated, and I have great sympathy for anyone that was affected by them. What I'm saying is that overdoing it, just like underdoing it, is harmful, and we need a balance. Everyone should be taught about these key events at least once in their lives, and if they forget what they have been taught, then details should be taught afresh to them. However, the rest of the time, we should actually teach all the other fascinating and influential events that have shaped such cultural groups of our world. It should be a given that we learn what different groups believe and eat and celebrate. We cannot truly become a happy, accepting, universal group unless we understand each other. We are currently living in a time of great tension. Yes, there are some people who are genuinely racist, anti-Semitic ... etc, but for many people, the discomfort they feel around others of different ethnic groups is a result of the factors I have described above. If people don't understand why they feel uncomfortable around other cultural groups, and their discomfort is obvious, then they may be outright accused of racism or other prejudice, isolating them from the people they look up to, and thus increasing their chance of falling in with the wrong crowd and therefore actually becoming racist and/or prejudiced. So, to reiterate one last time for the people at the back, let's widen our focus on cultural groups to not just the main shocking events, but to as many different aspects of them as we have the ability to cover. Time waits for no man, and never stays static, and thus to keep up with it, we must be able to live in the past, present, and future. Only in this way will we create the unity in which our world can thrive.

[gorge-mouse]

Thanks for your recent post. I am a female and dress in all the ways dubbed as 'manly'. Any ways to dress more feminine that doesn't cause sensory problems?

The first question is, what do you want to wear?

And what textures do you cope best with?

Often, a big part of looking ‘feminine’ is longer hair (bob length or longer). However, longer hair can be bad for sensory reasons. A good way I have found to combat this is to French plait the front of my hair. By doing this, it holds back the front of my hair, reducing the amount that gets in my face and meaning that it bothers me less. Buns or one long plait can also be feminine and pretty if you don’t like the sensation of your hair on or near your face.

Looking feminine doesn’t necessarily involve make-up, though using such does make you appear more typically feminine. If make-up is an avenue that you want to take, then watching make-up tutorials and having which colours suit you tested at your local make-up shop can be very helpful. If make-up is difficult for sensory reasons, then wearing a little lip gloss is more than enough. If you decide to wear concealer to hide blemishes, powder concealer is easier to apply as it is easier to control how much is on your skin and doesn’t create the ‘clogged’ feeling that liquid concealer does. Applying it as lightly as possible (so applying as little as possible to do the job) should minimise sensory issues. A good way to do this is to turn the pot of powder upside down (whilst closed) then turn tit the right way up, tap the lid a couple of times, and only use the powder on the inside of the lid, tapping your brush on the side of the lid to reduce the amount of powder on your brush if you have too much. This is much easier than putting your brush directly into the powder, as that makes it hard to control how much powder ends up on your face, as too much can be sweaty and itchy.

Looking feminine clotheswise tends to mean more fitted/less baggy clothes. If it suits your figure, then you can more than get away with trousers and trainers if your outfit is colour co-ordinated. Going to a cloth store and looking at and touching a variety of cloths can help you work out which materials for clothes you feel best in. From this, you can make a list of yes and no materials to help you decide which clothes you can buy that won’t set off overwhelm you in a sensory way. Another trick is to wear a vest or thermal long-sleeved top under clothes (and/or leggings, cut to length if necessary so they aren’t visible under your clothes) that otherwise overstimulate you, working as a barrier between your skin and the pretty, itch clothes.

If the feel of air on your skin bothers you (it bothers me) and if you find it hard to walk in long dresses, then there a culotte dresses (they look like dresses, but the skirt part is actually made up of two legs), that are easy to walk in and shield your legs from harsh winds. If you can

Jewellery is also favourable, but again tailor it to you. Jewellery can be functional. A pretty watch, or heavy jewellery to combat sensory needs are perfectly valid and can be very pretty.

Perfume can be a nice addition for some, but unless you have body odour that you need to hide, your natural smell is generally better, as even neurotypicals can find perfume scent too strong.

Looking feminine doesn’t require all of these characteristics, and there are some people who can look incredible without them, but hopefully you will find them useful. If you’d like any more specific ideas from me, them feel free to message me again.

I wish you much luck :-)Remember to be yourself, and if there are any features I have listed here that aren’t you or you don’t feel comfortable with, then you are under no obligation to follow them, mostly it matters that you feel good in yourself.

[gorge-mouse]

The very basics on surviving socialising as an aspie

To begin with 

A lot of aspies seem to be talking about how hard it is to socialise, how they stand absolutely no chance of ever being in a relationship or easily making friends.

I am on the spectrum, and have been in a stable relationship for going on two years, and whilst being autistic can make it harder to be in a relationship or to make friends, it definitely does not rule you out from such entirely.

I am not amazingly experienced, but these are good social survival techniques that I know that I am sure you could apply to the world of relationshippyness.

Places

First of all, the best place to meet people is somewhere you feel safe or passionate about. If you love trains, go to train conventions, if you love singing, join a choir. You are much more likely to meet people who love and respect your interests at such places, and you are likely to be more relaxed and yourself.

Singles nights don’t tend to be the best place, as everyone is on relationship mode and possibly a little desperate, so will be trying really hard to find that one perfect person that fits all their boxes and will never ever break up with them, and often this person doesn’t exist. So they will be more judgemental at singles events, as they are actively analysing you to see if you are the right partner, rather than doing this passively, where they would likely be more accepting.

If you don’t find someone at the event you attend, you can keep attending just because it’s a nice event, or go to other events that you like if you want to continue looking.

Hygiene

Keeping good hygiene and appearance is very important. Brushing your teeth twice a day, having your daily shower, putting deodorant on in the morning, changing your sanitary towel every 4 hours (If you are a woman on her period), doing your hair nicely, washing your hair with shampoo and conditioner at least once per week, these are all very important. On a basic level, humans associate bad smelling people with illness and disease. If you smell bad, people will think you are dirty and worry that they will catch things from you.

If you smell bad despite this, remember that you should change the towel that you dry yourself after washing with at least once a week, underpants/nickers tops, and socks should be changed every day, bras should be changed every couple of days, and trousers/skirts/shorts/outer lower garments should be changed at least once a week, or whenever they get a stain on them. The same goes for jumpers, pullovers and cardigans, though coats and jackets only need washing when they start to smell. The golden rule for washing clothes is: at the end of the day if it has a stain on, or smells even slightly of body odour, then the garment needs washing. Most shoes aren’t washable, but if you have smelly feet you can get spray to make your shoes smell better.

If you are still worried about smelling bad, perfume if you are a woman, and aftershave if you are a man should help.

Clothes

Also, clothes matter. There will be colours that do or do not look good on you based on your build, skin tone, and eye and hair colour. Everyone looks bad wearing the wrong clothes, even very pretty people.

Remember that if a main item of clothing you are wearing (top/trousers/skirt/leggings) has a pattern on it, then the rest of the clothes you are wearing with it should be plain.

Try not to incorporate more than two colours into an outfit unless one item is patterned with multiple colours, in which case pick your other colour to wear from that pattern, and all the other clothes you wear with that item should be the other second colour (so if you have a light blue, mid green, and light purple skirt, either wear light blue, mid green, or light purple other clothes to go with it.

Shoes count a lot as well, your shoes should either be a neutral colour that doesn’t clash (white, black, grey, brown) or a colour that goes with your outfit (wear a dark blue dress with dark blue shoes, for example). Different shoes are for different occasions.

If you are dressed formally, dress shoes look good for men, and (if in a dress) women look good in heels. If less formally dressed you can wear trainers(sneakers) or other similar items if wearing shorts or trousers, and with less formal dresses, women look good in flat shoes. Women can wear sandals/flip flops at any less formal occasion with their dress, but men should only wear flip flops or sandals if they are somewhere hot.

This can seem a bit complicated. The best thing to do is to have your colours done if you want to know what colours suit you. This means going to a person who you pay and they give you a little chart of certain shades of different colours that look good on you. Then, when deciding to buy a garment, you can hold the little chart against it to see if it is the right colour for you.

If you know someone close to you that people think dress nicely, ask them for advice. Sometimes it is your haircut, not your clothes that can be the problem. Getting a friend or family member who dresses nicely and has a nice haircut to come to the hairdressers’ with you and help you decide on a haircut is a good idea.

Clothing Pitfalls

Societally it is preferred that men have clean shaven faces (no beard or moustache), but it is accepted for them to have them if the moustache or beard are neatly trimmed and washed (and brushed if necessary) as often as head hair and if you are careful to make sure that no bits of food or such are stuck in your beard or moustache. Women are expected at minimum to remove any facial hair (hairy upper lip, hair between eyebrows). Many people also see it as desirable for women to shave their legs and under their arms. This is only necessary if you are planning on wearing clothes that reveal these areas, in which case you only need to shave them if the hair is very visible (very dark or thick), and whilst many people prefer you to, shaving these areas is optional.

Wearing themed clothes (i.e: always wearing something with cats on) is seen as odd in a social setting and should be avoided.

Dressing in a very ‘manly’ way if you are a girl (short hair, trousers shirts, baseball caps, lack of jewellery) may make people think you are a lesbian if you are a women (which suits or does not matter depending on whether you are and whether you mind others perceiving you as such). Dressing ‘flamboyantly’ as a man (wearing very bright colours, having long hair and/or jewellery, or sparkly clothes, or wearing feminine colours like certain shades of pink and purple) can cause people to think that you are gay (Which again may or may not suit you depending if you mind). People are more likely to approach you if you

You can tell that you look good if: 1) people are nicer/politer to you than usual 2) more people strike up a conversation with you than usual 3) people compliment your appearance 4) people suddenly want to go places with you

Never wear anything that is broken (that has holes that aren’t supposed to be there, missing buttons, of damaged stitching. For women, if you wear makeup, make-up tutorials and going to make up stores to have them test what colour looks good on you is helpful. Practise will make perfect.

Acting

When preparing to go places, think about the pitch and tone of your voice. Avoid talking faster, slower, louder, or quieter than the volume at which most people speak. If your voice is quite flat or monotone, try listening to the way people you like the voice of speak, working out where their tone changes and why for different words and phrases and mimicking as best you can (but don’t exaggerate this, a monotone voice is better than one that sounds fake and over dramatic).

When around people, stand straight and upright, walking with a wide gait (when you walk you feet are at least one foot length apart). Try not to walk to fast or too slow, but instead at a comfortable pace.

When talking to people, stand at least an arm’s length away from people, make eye contact for about four seconds periods every 4 or 5 seconds. When you are not making eye contact, look at a different part of their face. Looking for too long at any other part of their body will make them feel awkward and unnerved.

Only point out issues in their appearance if they are going to get worse (I.e: If a woman is bleeding through her trouser/skirt…etc) or if you can fix them (preferably for the latter reason), in which case mention them indirectly. Indirectly means offering them a tissue if their nose is running or bleeding, or if there is something that they need to wipe off their face, (if you are a woman) offering a woman who is bleeding through her trousers a sanitary towel if you have a spare, or (if you are a man) offering her your jacket to wrap around her waist to hide the blood (don’t if the jacket is dirty or smelly or you are unwilling/unable to clean blood stains out of it), if the person has bad breath, offering them a mint, if they smell bad, offering them (if they are the same gender as you) a spray of your perfume or aftershave. Offering them hand sanitiser if they got their hands dirty (more acceptable if they are female). Do these alternatives instead of telling the person the problem unless they ask why you are doing these. Only offer the things that you have (if you have no mints, don’t offer any).

Good things to take with you to social events for these reasons are:

Breath mints

Hand sanitiser

Tissues

(If female) spare sanitary towels and perfume

(If make) a jacket and aftershave

A pen and some paper

The best tip I can give you is to ask questions. Asking questions makes you seem interested in them (people like this). Ask the person either questions about themself, or ask them questions that you know they will know the answers to (if they are a dog enthusiast, they will know lots of at least basic stuff about dogs for example). Don’t ask about anything to personal (anything sexual, money based, or to do with sensitive events like recent deaths or divorces).

Try not to talk yourself during the conversation for more than 5 minutes. If the person is still interested after 5 minutes (ID they are leaning slightly towards you, still making good eye contact, nodding) ask them their opinion on the topic before continuing. If not (their arms are crossed, they are looking at things other than you like their watch, or have folded their arms) change the subject to something they’ll like and ask them questions.

Avoid topics of conversation (unless you know the person well and are in a private place) such as: Race Religion Politics How much you both earn (though you can ask about other aspects of their job)

Acting Summary

Things that will put people off you are: 1. Too much or too little eye contact 2. Odd facial expressions (if you have these, try to modify them to make them more acceptable, or explain to the person that you do so they feel less uncomfortable) 3. Insecure body language (arms crossed rather than by your sides, hunched over, apologising a lot) 4. Talking for too long, or not elaborating your answers when they ask you a question (when you are asked if you like or dislike something, don’t say yes or no, say what you like or dislike about the subject and why) 5. Being rude (talking about bad topics or insulting them) 6. Being too negative (for every 1 negative thing you say in a conversation, try to say at least 2 positive things) 7. Standing too close to them

Things people like: 1. You complimenting them (but do this no more than three times in a conversation, and only compliment things like clothes or hair , unless you like them romantically, in which case you can also compliment their facial features) 2. You asking them questions they can answer 3. You making them feel happy +by talking about positive, funny, or otherwise happy things)

Do they like me?

If you like talk to one person regularly at the gathering you attend, or are attending a one off gathering, then you can ask for their number. This is more accepted if you are male, but women can do this too. If hey decline, then they probably don’t like you. Make a polite comment if rejected, and continue the conversation a little before going away so they feel like you weren’t just talking to them for potential relationship reasons. I’d they say yes, remain calm, and offer them a pen and paper so they can write their number down, and also give them yours.

If you want to test if somebody you see regularly likes you at least s a friend, go to a gathering that they will be at and they know that you will be at, and see if they come over to you. The quicker they come over to you, the more they like you, and the more likely it is that they also like you romantically as well. If they don’t, or take a long time to come over, then you probably like them more than they like you, and finding other friends may be a better idea.

Escape

If you need to escape a social situation, and can leave without anyone noticing, then do. If not, then explain that you need to go to whoever you are talking to (use an excuse like having left your dinner cooking on the stove, or that you’ve forgotten to record your favourite programme, you have a busy day at work tomorrow, but nothing too outrageous like needing to save someone or your house being on fire). You can otherwise just say a closing phrase instead like (it has been a good evening/morning/afternoon) , then thank the person for their company and leave.

Feeling nervous or overwhelmed in a social environment? Good tips are: Wear a weighted vest or under your clothes (has a calming effect for some) Earplugs (good for those who are hypersensitive to sound) Stim objects to stim with in your pocket

Good luck :-)

[gorge-mouse]

Diagnoses

Someone: *offers me fish*

Me: No sorry I can’t eat that, I’m allergic

Someone: *understands and gives me a fish-free alternative*

———————————————————————-

Someone: *tells me off for stimming/not making enough eye contact/acting oddly*

Me: I have asperger’s

Someone: Well I’m sure that if you tried harder….

[gorge-mouse]

Me if anyone is more than 20 minutes late:

Well, I hope they aren't dead.. ....but if they aren't they will be soon....

[gorge-mouse]

When you're a girl with a medical condition

You: *chats to someone about it, looking for an actual viable answer*

Them: It’ll get better after you have kids …go have babies

[gorge-mouse]

Things that work for tension headaches:

Fruit pastilles. I get tension headaches when stressed, and find chewing things very soothing (maybe due to my bad proprioception, but it could also be just a normal human thing), though nothing has quite as good 'give' (springy chewiness) as a fruit pastille or two. Some people also find sucking objects soothing, so for those types of people, try carrying boiled sweets (yes, you can get sugar-free versions). Anyone else have any tips?

[gorge-mouse]

Why we hide behind diagnoses

There might be a kid at your school who, when you try to talk to them, says “leave me alone, I’m autistic”. They are autistic, but as a neurotypical (or even if you aren’t) it annoys you anyway.

Why do they do that? You wonder. You don’t like that they bring attention to their disability, it seems wrong. You know they’re autistic (or have ADHD, or have cerebral palsy, or …etc). It seems to you like they are exploiting their disability for attention and sympathy.

In a small percentage of cases, this is true, but for an awful lot of us, it isn’t.

So why do I mention my conditions a lot around certain people? Well, for one, my aspergers is a special interest of mine, so I struggle not to talk about it. Secondly, if something socially works, I will keep doing donThat’s how I learn to socialise (aspergers= trouble socialising). So, if people act like me infodumping about my aspergers is okay, I’ll keep doing it.

But, mostly, I talk about my condition when I am unnerved. When I feel like things could escalate, when I’m scared or slightly unnerved, and want people to back off. So why do I do this?

Well, I wasn’t diagnosed until I was fourteen. Before then I had been chased, dragged round, and beaten in playgrounds, been sent to the head’s office over things I hadn’t done, had been told off daily for things I didn’t know were socially incorrect, been forbidden from stimming because it mad me look ‘mad’, been punished for meltdowns …. I am sure that you don’t want or need to hear any more about that.

But the point is, society tries to shape you based on how you act. If you fit into society in a really great way, then you will be rewarded by having lots of friends, getting on well with teachers, finding it easier to get jobs/find partners, and so on. If you are about normal, then you will likely get an average amount of friends, get on reasonably well with teachers, have an about average rate of getting jobs and finding partners….

Aaaand, if you are odd, and don’t fit in, and can’t carry it off well, then you will have less of all that, then you will probably get picked on. That’s society’s way of correcting your oddness. The idea is, that if you’re picked on enough, you’ll change. Yes, there are exceptions. Those people who just drift through okay, or those picked on despite fitting in.

So, naturally, before you are diagnosed, you tend to get picked on quite a bit.

This isn’t great for your self esteem. It hurts, a lot. You doubt yourself, and some people break. Even if you don’t, it can leave you sharp and unfriendly, it a doormat that people pity, but step on anyway.

Being diagnosed is a relief. Since you can’t help bring different, a diagnosis tells society that it isn’t allowed to kick you as much. It’s a relief, in fact, society is told to help you. They don’t necessarily, but at least they’ve stopped punishing you.

So when I start talking about my diagnosis because I am frightened, I am hiding behind it. I am saying ‘please done punish me, because I can’t help being different, and if you punish me anymore, I am going to break, and I am not sure that I can fix myself again.’ So, in summary, being diagnosed is a safety net, I feel threatened, I use it as such.

So, next time you meet with the nervy kid who talks too much about their diagnosis, you might understand a little better.

[metapianycist]

This is a good post but, many times (most of the time, i’d wager), a diagnosis label doesn’t stop bullying at all. Responding to harassment with “I’m autistic” is not likely to stop it, it’s more likely that the harasser will think: “I’m not doing this because you’re autistic, i’m doing this because you’re weird/stupid/[r slur].” They’re not likely to be compassionate toward you…considering they’re disregarding your feelings in the first place. And teachers generally don’t take bullying seriously, even when the victim IS diagnosed. You have been very lucky if your experiences have been different than that.

[myhalfoftheuniverse]

When I was younger, the reason the teachers did nothing about me being beaten up was because the kids who were beating me up were all statemented, and I was not. They had anger issues, and one had ADHD, so the teachers wanted them to feel safe, even if it meant them beating me up. Because in the UK you get more funding for pupils with diagnoses, my school intervened when my class did things like break my glasses and such, because if I left, that extra money would leave, too.

So, here in the UK (providing that you go to a school where they want and need your funding) it keeps you safer. Also, in my experience, people judge me differently. Having attended a girls school, people would talk nicely to your face, then be unkind behind your back, however, they found different interesting. I draw maps of symbols to memorize things, which they seem to think is fascinating (maybe because it’s a grammar school, I don’t know).

Either way, they’d question why I got extra time in exams and such, wanting to tease me about it, and I’d explain my learning difficulties (my aspergers doesn’t affect exam time) and they got it, kinda, and were nicer to me.

But, overall, hiding behind your diagnosis tends to be psychological rather than practical. You do it because in theory it should make you safe, so even if it doesn’t, you still feel better.

[gorge-mouse]

Questions=

The easiest way to dissect people without actually killing anyone

[queeribs]

Keep reading

[this-seamstress-is]

Not correct. Hans Asperger was working with autistic children when the Nazis were around, back when they euthanised anyone deemed ‘disabled’ or 'problematic’. He deemed the brightest, most promising children he worked with 'high functioning’ in an attempt to save them.

When I tell people what I am I say 'high functioning’ because that was the diagnosis I was given, but also because there is an unpleasant perception that 'low functioning’ autistics are unintelligent and of no worth. I think this is wrong, because low functionung people often have impressive and original talents and capabilities (as well as generally being awesome) but at the same time I do not want to be talked to like I can’t understand, so I always specify my mildness.

Finally, if I don’t specify high-functioning, people think of 'low functioning’ autistics, and she e that I am different, so think I am lying and I find this frustrating.

Hope this helps, and if you have any questions, please contact me :-)

[gorge-mouse]

Attention tumblr! The British government is considering a bill that would leave some people within Britain with little or no human rights. Those in the military would likely have no rights (which considering that they fight for our country, this seems pretty dire). In fact, the use of human rights could be limited to only ‘serious’ cases. We probably need to do something about this…

[gorge-mouse]

Superhero Auditions

Interviewer: So, show me your lethal skills Someone: *demonstrates awesome weaponry* Someone else: *Shows off their telekinesis* Interviewer: Anyone else? Me: *breathes on interviewer* Interviewer: Yep, I see your point *dies*

[gorge-mouse]

Dear Feminists

I’d like to be able to say to you that I totally support you, that you are my main social justice movement, that I follow you above all else. But I can’t.

I can’t because when I go into the work place, my main concern won’t by the 19.7% pay gap between myself and my male colleagues. It won’t bother me that they may judge me on the way I dress, or the colour of my skin. I’ll be too busy rejoicing that I’m in the 15% of those with aspergers’ who actually make it into regular payed employment, if I even make it at all.

Chances are that potential employers will read my long list of “issues” and assume me to be a dribbling vegetable incapable of working for them. Even before the interviews begin.

Yes, I am aware of the 2010 disability act, and its 2005 predecessor that came 30 years after the 1975 sex discrimination act that gave women equal pay status to do the same job as men. That came 29 years after the race relations act of 1976 which gave equal pay status to all races. 6 years after gay people’s rights began to be considered in 1999.

The act that keeps people of different ability safe came years after it seemed every other minority group had gained at least some rights, and yet it still doesn’t protect us. For example only 6% of people with learning difficulties, (ranging from mild to severe) are in regular payed employment.

The issues go beyond work and pay. In the areas of the world where women’s rights are not considered, people who are physically or neurologically different are treated appallingly.

In Ghana they are chained up and beaten, because people believe that it is “evil spirits” that make them prone to fitting, unable to walk or otherwise outside of social norms.

I know that I would much rather be married off and have no rights, than be beaten, starved, chained up, and still have no rights.

You will notice that in care systems and orphanages a disproportionate amount of the children are different, because people reject those like themselves. Some aren’t even that lucky. Asperger’s and autistic children (as well as children with other disabilities) in societies in these sort of places are a stigma and a burden. Often they are left to die. People like this are much more likely to suffer infanticide than people who happen to be female.

Then you might talk about rape culture. I am here to tell you that 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 10 boys with asperger’s on average will statistically suffer sexual abuse in childhood alone. That abusers often specifically target those considered ‘vulnerable’ because the ‘vulnerable’ are so much less likely to speak out against them. The fact is issues that affect women also affect those labeled 'different’. They are far worse affected, and that this is being ignored

What I’m not saying is that this is feminists’ fault, or that their cause is worth nothing. What I am saying is that ableism as a cause is not being addressed, and that is wrong. That it causes people like me to view movements like feminism with cynicism because we are envious. Because our issues are just as big. What I’m saying is, feminists, if you want the support of all women, then all women’s issues must be addressed.

Which is society’s problem. Not yours …but we could certainly do with your help.

[gorge-mouse]

That amusing moment when….

We have a family friend who comes over every now and then. As a mark of respect, whenever he came over I’d make him tea in one of our best mugs and he’d always act really pleased. Long story short, our best mugs are rainbow-striped crockery and the family friend is gay. I gave him his tea in this mug for years without knowing the significance, and now I know I make sure that I add the rainbow saucer too :-)

[gorge-mouse]

I remember in the past year or so I was doing someone or other, and a person commented. She meant to say “That’s very artistic!” but she aid That’s very autistic!” instead. 

She then proceeded to apologise, say she meant ‘artistic’ and to say that “(autism) is another thing”

I just smiled and thought to myself “I’m both :-)”

(really wish I’d said so aloud)

[gorge-mouse]

Sometimes you just need to write.

Sometimes you need to pour all of your thoughts and feelings, like silver pennies or rain, and watch them fall as you saw them in your mind’s eye.

Sometimes you write because it’s dark, and you need to write yourself some light. A lantern to guide your spirits from the night and to the dawn.

Sometimes you might write because your words, if spoken, would corrode holes in those you love, and burn the hands you trust.

Or because your holding back a tiny piece of joy just for yourself.

Maybe because you’re trying to catch time by it’s long slippery tail, and suspend it in glass, so it can’t move on.

Or to hurry is walk a little.

But whatever the reason, by all means write.