♍️ @gorgeous-doormat - Tumblr Blog

Those fanfic type stories people write where the plot is like “I picked up a stray cat off the street and it turned into a sexy man?!” R so funny cause if I found a cute cat and spent a week taking care of it and being like aw ur my baby now just for that cat to turn into a man that shit would piss me clean off…I might even kill him

cottoncandylesbo

and now for the touchening finish!

agathathesorceress

All lighthouse keepers born after 1840 know is homoeroticism, descend into madness and charge they lamp

effemimaniac

platonically shooting my friendshot hoping I don't get acquaintance-zoned

kragehund-est

sex isn't sexy unless it's a little bit gross. have you forgotten that you are a divine ape? plastic smooth skin, plucked hair, painted faces, scripted reactions, scrubbed til only the smell of perfumed soap remains, proportions that are conflictingly cookiecutter yet unattainable, none of this is even a little bit interesting.

you can laugh at napoleon's "home in three days, don't bathe" letter to his wife, but there's more sexuality in that one line then there is in the entirety of the hypersexualized but painfully unsexy internet.

the-ghost-of-jetstream-tormod

What are your thoughts on musk?

kragehund-est

i hope he dies

sailermoon

I love days where I feel like this image

bish0ps

Have you tried pacing back and forth

effedupcomments

kevinogilvie-deactivated2025092

got High last night and scrolled eBay for hours with my mouth open like an Autistic micro plastic baby before buying a CD for $5.08

rudeteens

Ass fat because I been eating people. I’ve been cutting up and eating people

yaoiblackmold

The beauty of tumblr is that some people here think that cigarettes get you high and drinking once a week makes you an alcoholic, while others here started smoking at 13 and wouldn't even consider ketamine a drug because everyone does it. And both of them are on tumblr blogging about TV shows from 2005.

dozydawn

World Series of Poker Ladies Event, 2011.

Victoria Coren-Mitchell, Jennifer Tilly, Maria Ho, Gloria Balding, Lacey Jones, Kim Wooka, and Melanie Weisner.

dragongirlsweetie

pro tip you can just grab a bunch of random parts from dumpsters and hardware stores and computer stores and just attach them together haphazardly and then put it in your suitcase and take it to the airport and get arrested pretty much 100% of the time