âOh, that sounds like a marvelous idea. Absolutely fantastic. One hundred percent foolproof.â
âI was gonna say that I donât need you, but I actually do.â
âAt least Iâm able to admit what I did was wrong - unlike you.â
âMy pride is just fine, thank you. Why shouldnât it be? I mean, I totally let that happen.â
âHear me out. Say âheckâ was the lovechild of hell and fuck, wouldnât that make heck a swear word?â
âYouâre an asshole.â
ââŚWhat is that even supposed to mean?â
âShould we talk about this?â
âSay [insert whatever here] one more time - I dare you.â
âIâm dead go away.â
âOh God not another one.â
âSomeone took Star Wars way too seriously if thatâs how they kiss their sibling.â
âFor the love of - for the last time, Iâm not an energizer bunny on crack!â
âWhat was the purpose of Jar-Jar Binks anyway?â
âWhy would anyone drink liquefied bees?!â
âI⌠I love you. I really do. Iâm sorry I didnât say it sooner.â
âDonât you dare touch me!â
âItâs been nice knowing ya.â
âWe⌠we shouldnât have done that.â
âIt was broken when I got here.â
âIâm sorry, but thereâs nothing we can do for them.â
âThatâs right, asshole, Iâm still alive.â
âSeriously though, Donald Trump is like a humanized carrot with a toupee and no brain. Either that or heâs like Jabba the Hutt. Maybe a cross between the two.â
âGive me one good reason why I shouldnât kill you.â
âOh, yeah? Why should I believe you?â
âPlease tell me thatâs your hand.â
âI donât believe in fate or destiny.â
âIâve trusted the wrong person one too many times.â
âEverythingâs written in the stars.â
âThat is utter bullshit! Donât you dare tell me that I need to love myself before I can love [insert name here]!â
âI shouldnât be trusted with hot or sharp objects.â
âThen why did you give me one?â
âTLC stands for thin layer chromatography. Wait. Shit. No it doesnât. Tender loving care. It means tender loving care. Ignore what I said before that.â
âI swear to God, if you put your hand over my mouth again, I will lick and/or bite you.â
âI thought you cared!â
âI really donât feel good.â
âYou donât have the right to keep my here.â
âYou could have died!â
âAnd what did that prove, huh?! That youâre - youâre some kind of hero?!â
âItâs the end of the world, [name]. Are you ready?â
âI had everything under control!â
âHey, whoa! Donât kill the messenger!â
âOoh, Iâm terrified.â
âIâm not a soldier! Donât expect me to behave like one!â
âIâm calling bullshit!â
âI donât believe in Ouija boards but that doesnât mean Iâm gonna fuck around with one of those things.â
âGo ahead, shoot me. I dare you.â
âIâve seen too many people come and go. What makes you think youâre any different?â
âYouâre no hero. Not now and not ever.â
âIâll see you again. I promise.â
âOf course the United States is in the lead when it comes to teenage pregnancy; their sex education classes are complete shit.â
âAnd I should care becauseâŚ?â
âDid I tell you how amazing you look today? Because you look absolutely stunning.â
âOkay, either you want something from me or youâre trying to hide something.â
âI may or may not have broken that thing you told me to avoid.â
âWhen I die I want you to sprinkle my ashes all over [insert theme-park here].â
âI shouldnât have told you that. I shouldnât have said anything.â
âYouâre venturing into dangerous territory, my friend. Iâd stop where you are now and leave before you regret this.â
âDidnât you hear? Someone was murdered here.â
âNo, no, no. Thatâs supposed to go on the left.â
âYouâre other left!â
âThatâs it! Next time, Iâm driving!â
âCanât you forgive me?â
âWhy are there always two teams in fiction? Why not⌠five or something?â
âIâm gonna bust you outta here.â
âThatâs great, but how the fuck are you going to do that?â
âI havenât gotten that far yet.â
âIn all honesty, I didnât even think I would be able to get here.â
âDonât the music videos for Maroon Fiveâs âAnimalsâ. Itâs fucking disturbing.â
âDonât you dare die on me!â
âSeagull noises make it all better.â
âYou run slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.â
âNothing is impossible to wrap!â
âHave you ever tried slamming a revolving door?â
âUh⌠no. Iâm not an idiot.â
âWhat do you think youâre doing?! Put that back!â
âI thought that⌠maybe⌠maybe it would work.â
âThat one is definitely on me.â
âYâknow, Iâm pretty sure that wasnât supposed to explode.â
âIâm honestly scared that I will always be alone. That no one will love me.â
âI know itâs stupid, but it still doesnât hurt any less.â
âWhat did you expect was going to happen?!â
âDid you ever think of me?â
âI donât even remember when adults started to freely swear around me.â
âI feel my time is running out.â
âI tried to save them. Donât you dare say that I didnât try.â
âJust drop it; itâs not worth it.â
âTook you long enough to get here!â
âLook at me. Look at me! Ignore everything else, just look at me. Please.â