After the door closed
nothing looked broken
that was the worst part
The world kept its shape
traffic still moved
neon still flickered
Vex still laughed somewhere
in rooms I stopped going to
But inside
everything was misaligned
I started measuring time
in before you and after you
like the night you met me
cut my life clean in two
and left me standing
on the wrong side of it
Your name became something
I avoided out loud
but repeated in my head
like a bad prayer
I tried to replace you
new faces
new voices
new nights that looked the same
but felt hollowed out
Because none of them knew
the version of me
you left behind
The one that stayed up too late
re-reading old messages
like they might change
the one that memorized absence
like it was something sacred
the one that kept expecting
a return
that never came
Dreams became cruel
you showing up
like nothing ever ended
like I hadn't learned
how to live without you
And waking up
felt like losing you twice
I stopped going places
that echoed too loud
corners where you stood
streets that still carried
the shape of your laughter
Even the air felt different there
like it remembered you
better than I did
And I kept asking myself
the same quiet question
when did it stop being ours
and start being just mine
Because that's what it became
this one-sided haunting
this weight you don't carry
but I still do
But not all at once
not clean
It erodes
slow, uneven
taking parts of me with it
I didn't realize were yours
until they were gone
And even now
after all this distance
after all this time
there are moments
that pull me straight back
to that first night
dim lights
cheap drinks
Vex somewhere in the background
and you
standing there
with those ocean blue eyes
like something I'd survive
Some part of me
is still there
stuck in that moment
before I knew
what losing you
would turn me into
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