Hello???

Gosuto | 22 | who do you think you are i am

[angelic-ivy]

me: [writing something] shoot... what's this woman's pronouns?

stenographer: well her bio says she/her...

me: better play it safe anyway [writes "it"]

the ghost of marie curie: [appears out of thin air] ivy... you're the first person to ever correctly gender me in a hundred and eighty-two years. from the bottom of my cold dead heart, thank you.

me: [dies of radiation poisoning]

stenographer: [dies of radiation poisoning]

[angelic-ivy]

favorite tags. bulliness you get it. also someone tagged this post #rpf which i think is so fuckin funny. like yeah. i guess. i guess it is.

[06-archive]

[retroject]

I found a lovely snail at work who was dried out so I let him have a shower and he seemed to enjoy it!! 🐌🚿

[scififantasystuff]

[joy-and-whimsy-official]

Joy and whimsy detected! This snower (snail shower) is joyful and whimsical! 🐌🚿

[pukicho]

comic where steve from minecraft sees a round guy

[fagcrisis]

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

[maryoliveoil]

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

[buglikethecomputer]

i hate reddit as a whole but r/kitchenchads is the best fucking thing to come out of any website. look at these. look.

“i have had sex before” absolutely hysterical

[punkitt-is-here]

[loveridden1999]

doing things at the right age is literally a made up concept. you can start/pursue anything at any age. btw.

[loveridden1999]

remember remember

[busket]

did i ever tell you guys that in the mid 2010s there were a couple blogs that were talking shit about me and trying to cancel me for stupid fandom bullshit (I had a porn blog and I shipped billford oh nooo) and I had them blocked but sometimes I couldn't help ragebaiting myself and checking their blogs anyway to see what they were saying. so I used a browser extension to redirect their tumblr urls to crouton.net. and sometimes i would forget and be like "oouugh lemme see what those little shits are saying now" only to be brought to crouton.net instead. it immediately dissolved any anger or curiosity i had about what someone was talking shit about me. I was instead like "oh, crouton. thats right...looking at that stuff isnt good for me. thanks crouton" like it probably actually saved my mental health in college tbh

[theunfairfolk]

the opposite of that "orc can't read ulysses" is an elf who smugly delivers a lecture misinterpreting the Very Hungry Caterpillar

[jockohomomorphism]

[dogin8]

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: t t tat "c ca't a " a g a ct ttg t g Cata

Closest match: Psittacula echo genome assembly, chromosome: 5 Common name: Echo Parakeet

(image source)

[orteil42]

do you know how much of a letdown it was to grow up smelling the aged whiskey in my grandpa's pantry. the wine in my parents' dinner glasses. the anise liquor on summer evenings. and finally being of drinking age and finding out it all kinda just tastes like car exhaust

[pukicho]

You arw a microorganism

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: a a cga

Closest match: You!

[hotvampireadjacent]

[oneheadtoanother]

look at my head boy

[crtter]

[user-300]

Rotate that man until he shoots the light beam to the next piece of the puzzle.

[ciqqy]

I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before

[ciqqy]

[feefal]

Seraph in the headlights

[staff]

we fucked up

[larval-tear]

elf sex: 3 to 12 effeminate twinks coo and giggle in a sensual pile in the woods. sometimes the elf queen joins and pretends they’re her baby birds

dwarf sex: a pair of strong able bodied warriors tacitly agree to mate as equals under a binding contract of tomelike thickness, with consent from the council

gnome sex: married couple of 200 years finally gives in to temptation and call upon the stork to deliver their child, then sleep in separate beds completely satisfied

[bisquitt]