I, too, have been losing my gentleness / since the first young wound.
Hari Alluri, from âAncestral Memory,â published in Poetry (via lifeinpoetry)

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@gotclose
I, too, have been losing my gentleness / since the first young wound.
Hari Alluri, from âAncestral Memory,â published in Poetry (via lifeinpoetry)
gotfar¡:
[ TO : BRAT ]   u would like that wouldnt you, silly boy [ TO : BRAT ]    me putting it away [ TO : BRAT ]    in you [ TO : BRAT ]   image.jpg
[ TO : ALFIE ] what? the red bull? [ TO : ALFIE ] i donât want all that in me. [ TO : ALFIE ] alfie.
gotfar¡:
[ TO : BRAT ]Â Â Â check snapchat, glasses.Â
[ TO : ALFIE ] oh.     [ UNSENT ] [ TO : ALFIE ] thank you.    [ UNSENT ] [ TO : ALFIE ] put it away. [ TO : ALFIE ] : )    [ UNSENT ]Â
â John Updike
stop asking me if im UP at 3 am ........
ok but are you ??
In the bleak mid winter
gotfar¡:
[ TO : POLBOY ]Â Â Â bratty boy. watch outÂ
[ TO : ALFIE ] iâve got my glasses on. iâll be fine.Â
gotfar¡:
[ TO : POLBOY ]   he wonât say no. [ TO : POLBOY ]   who the fuck is ada [ TO : POLBOY ]   you could drag me to the corner with the aid of a bit of red bull m8. but you dumped it so im dead and now youre fucked. [ TO : POLBOY ]   honestly tommy my boy. my red bull. what did nothing to u.Â
[ TO : ALFIE ] you better hide it real well then. [ TO : ALFIE ] because iâm dumping it out.Â
gotfarâ:
[ TO : POLBOY ]   precious little arthur. next time i am up remind me to bring him some bread. [ TO : POLBOY ]   why the long wait.                  [ UNSENT ] [ TO : POLBOY ]   small heath is fuckin shit mate lol [ TO : POLBOY ]   new pub opened up in camden. proper princess club. your style. classical music and stuff. [ TO : POLBOY ]   when are you back?                   [ UNSENT ]
[ TO : ALFIE ] arthurâs got a gluten intolerance. [ TO : ALFIE ] and you donât live here. shouldnât matter to you. you got camden and its princess clubs and all. [ TO : ALFIE ] you can show me when iâm back. call ada up to go if youâre bored. she will probably say no. [ TO : ALFIE ] just read an article about a man who died drinking too much red bull. next time i see it in your fridge iâm going to dump it out on account of the fact i donât want to deal with dragging you to the coroner.Â
shedevvilâ:
the sound of a crystalline pour floods the room.  do you see, boy ?  my breath is merely a formality.  a scarlet droplet slides from her nail into the whiskey.  lilith halts, eyelashes fluttering. the blood plummets, little red ribbons dissipating in plumes.  that is from earlier .    no matter :  it is not her blood .  she puts her finger in the glass and stirs until the whiskey is darker, but almost imperceptibly thorough.  turning back to that  BOY ,   her next wicked feast ,  she licks her finger clean like a beast.  Â
â  here we are . â       she prizes one bloodless glass close to her ribs, and extends the other to him.  she can smell the soul threaded in him, seething in him, bursting out and bleeding slick motor oil & sad liquor.  she sits.   this is her domain, and she is not a thing one might cast aside.  she is a creature one must eye closely :  it is the dark lordâs will to leave her here even in the aftermath of all that blood .  but no mortal ought feel they could dare .     â  now. i want you to select your next words with great care :   what is it that youâve come here seeking, thomas shelby ?   what is it that you desire ?  dead things ?  or things that have never yet been born ?  â    Â
 ɴ á´ á´ĄÂ ďšÂ ÉŞÂ á´Ą á´ É´ á´Â Ę á´ á´Â á´ á´Â s á´ Ę á´ á´ á´Â Ę á´ á´ Ę ᴥ á´ Ę á´ s ᴥ ÉŞ á´ Ę ɢ Ę á´ á´ á´Â á´ á´ Ę á´ .  her voice hung between them, both a warning and a welcome,  cold all the same.  he stared down at the blood - polluted glass extended to him and fought â like a good soldier,  which he was ;  which he  H A D  B E E N â the urge to swat at the back of his ears, for it felt as thought something was swimming in there aside from his own thoughts, which were numerous and overwhelming even during peacetime.  A L L  H E  D I D  W A S  T H I N K.  that was what he told people. all he did was think so that others didnât have to, and now, when thinking was needed from him the most,  he could not flip through his rolodex fast enough.  he could not yet pick the words to narrow down his distinct desire, his distinct need, exactly as he pleased. Â
but she was a smart woman,  he knew, and where intelligence meant only so much without power, power meant only so much without intelligence. she was in possession of both, and he did not, at any point, intend on insulting either.Â
so he took the glass,  blood and all,  and thanked her. Â
I  W A N T  Y O U,  sheâd said,  T O  S E L E C T  Y O U R  W O R D S W I T H  G R E A T  C A R E.  he did not take a drink -- not yet -- as his stomach still turned at the thought,  but he held onto it and watched her with intent. â  i donât have a use for dead things .  â  the dead were dead. there were enough people who died around him,  B E A C A U S E   O F   H I M, that seeking what had once existed, as opposed to what could exist, meant nothing to him.  death,  he knew,  was permanent. Â
â  iâm surprised,  though,  that you cannot discern for yourself  .  â   he took his sip then,  blood and all,  the gentle hint of metallic mixed with the gut - punch strength of the whiskey,  and after that he felt nothing.  â  i wouldâve thought a woman of your vision wouldâve known what i want as soon as i walked through the door.  â Â
gotfar¡:
[ TO : POLBOY ]   tell your charming mother i say hi wont you. shalom to arthur. [ TO : POLBOY ]   donât you worry your pretty little head princess [ TO : POLBOY ]   where is my hatÂ
[ TO : ALFIE ] aunt*. wonât*. ok. [ TO : ALFIE ] i wonât so long as you don't eat pizza in the bed. [ TO : ALFIE ] it was on your head the last time i saw it. [ TO : ALFIE ] and arthur told me/you to fuck off. can't tell which.
gotfar¡:
[ TO : TOM ]   ah yeah. [ TO : TOM ]   whats the hold up [ TO : TOM ]   pol hasnt signed your permission slip yet?
[ TO : ALFIE ] pol doesnât decide what i do or donât do. [ TO : ALFIE ] i did ask if she wanted to say hello to you. she said she absolutely does not. [ TO : ALFIE ] i'm needed here longer. thatâs all. [ TO : ALFIE ] donât eat pizza in the bed.Â
gotfar¡:
[ TO : TOM ]Â Â nice [ TO : TOM ]Â Â whos that
[ TO : ALFIE ] whoâs* [ TO : ALFIE ] good to see youâre not concerned. [ TO : ALFIE ] iâll be back monday, i think. donât know yet. [ TO : ALFIE ] and thatâs a horse that is.Â
SMS TO : ALFIE SOLOMONS [ @gotfar ]
[ TO : ALFIE ] hi. [ TO : ALFIE ] not dead. canât leave birmingham for a few days, though. [ TO : ALFIE ] proofÂ
Tommy + Alfie â friends
a man who canât die is no tragic hero â´ @shedevvil
â  there a need for that  ? â  tommy shined the top of his shoe with a cheap polish heâd bought at the corner store,  despite the pair being worn to the point there was no restoring them to their original grandeur. his attention was easily grabbed by her though, any behavior to the contrary being an artifice of pride, and he tilted his head toward lilith for a moment. â  tragedy ,  â  he said.  â  heroes ,  â  he said.  â  seems to me a  posh  phrase for people who have   failed  in one way or another.  â