some Really Crazy Shit just happened today and i thought i'd share (it's kinda long so eh)
me, my friend, and my two cousins had arranged to take a boat we found in the desert out for a lil jaunt on lake tahoe. my friend was lookin forward to it, but i was kinda dreadin it cuz. long story short. my cousins are assholes and every time we're forced to meet up they pull some nasty stunts and usually either embarrass me, get me hurt, or otherwise cause harm to me. (they were only on the boat today because again. we were forced to by our respective parents.) needless to say, i was dreadin the HELL out of this trip.
so we arrive at the harbour and we smoothly set off. for about...half an hour, im drivin and we're just vibein on the boat, occasionally speeding up because we are adrenaline gremlins. so, my cousin (we'll call him Damien) starts pressurin me to let him drive the boat. now, me and my friend (we'll call her Gwen) both know that this is. Not A Good Idea in the slightest. then, my other cousin (we'll call him Zach) starts pressurin me too.
so i give in and let Damien drive for a few minutes. i think "oh, if he acts up, i'll just lock him and Zach below deck until we land in the dock." so he drives us out to like. the Bare Ass Middle of lake tahoe where all you can see is fog and vague mountain shapes. i'm like "shit, he's plannin something isnt he" so i come up to him and try to take the wheel. i swear to god, this mf up and DROPKICKS ME OVERBOARD, locks Gwen below deck and speeds off, leaving me alone in the empty wastes of Tahoe.
now, quick info: despite being born with semi-webbed hands and feet, i cannot swim, and both Damien and Zach know this. so, i'm just out there tryin not to drown, get overtired, or get run over by a boat while being held up by nothing more than a flimsy lifejacket.
like half an hour later, i see a boat in the distance. ...it was MY boat, and apparently Damien had realized he was goin the wrong way. despite being headed towards me, the boat was WAY too far away for me to grab onto, until a series of random-ass riptides carried me right at it. luckily, both damien and zach are dumbasses, and they left the rope for tubin unbound, so they were trailing a rope this whole time. thanks to the riptides, i was able to take this opportunity, so i grabbed onto the rope and held on for dear life. my cousins noticed, so they sped up as fast as possible. somehow, i managed to hold on and pull myself onto the boat (although not without my fair share of ropeburns).
so now im on the boat, clashin with Damien and Zach pirate-style as the boat is moving. about 20 minutes in, i remember poor Gwen trapped below deck, so i free her, and then there was this weird period of time where Gwen was fighting both my cousins as i took control of the boat and drove us towards shore as fast as possible. eventually we locked my cousins below deck and yeeted their asses OUT upon landing, and now we have plans to go on the boat again tomorrow without my cousins.
...so that's my wack ass modern pirate story that happened today. i said i wanted to be a pirate and now i got it lmao
amandla
germansingergirl
origamiaround
gummygunk
blakekathryn
areudirty
